mini rant for those of you who "binge"

I'm amazed how few people have actually grasped what you're saying. Yes this annoys me too, and sometimes upsets me. Not because what others do has an impact on *my* weightloss. But because in labelling it as they do, they're effectively minimising the horrible experience of genuine compulsion. Giving into temptation is simply not the same as 'bingeing'.

The experience of a 'proper' binge is akin to a serious alcoholic going on a bender. The 'oh I had a chocolate bar, what a binge' comment is a bit like someone going into a bar and ordering a beer, and describing it as an alcoholic excess.

OP, you're doing an amazing job of getting this experience under control. well done, and more power to you.

Just because some people don't 'agree', doesn't mean they don't grasp OP's point. They just don't agree with it or have their own views. For me, it's about the mindset and loss of control - that is it really. The number of calories is irrelevant. Please don't turn this into a 'competition', it isn't one.

Nobody here can 'diagnose' another - and nobody has the right to try to define another person's relationship with food.

I think you just demonstrated you didn't grasp my point either. :-)

The issue is that giving in and have one chocolate bar isn't a 'loss of control' (and here, I think the other 'mental health professional' posting in the thread is also perhaps missing the OP's point). In our therapeutised culture, the terms 'binge', 'trauma', 'depression' etc have all made their way into a very general vocabulary and are used in a manner that obfuscates their original meaning. Yes, loss of control is the key. But in a binge the experience of loss of control is really quite different from the temporary lapse associated with a little dietary cheat. the OP is clearly referring to the 'OMG, I just had a total binge, I totally ate a cookie, I can feel myself bloating' kind of nonsense that gets posted on this site. This simply isn't 'bingeing', and as I said, to describe it as such is to be quite dismissive of the genuine emotional experience of bingeing.

You have no idea how another person feels. Unless you are an alcoholic, you cannot make the parallel you did. This thread is very triggering for me and I don't have to explain my feelings on that, nor will I. If you like to interpret my post as my inability to grasp the points you and the OP made, which were really quite simple to understand, then feel free. The vocabulary used is a red herring and really quite irrelevant. Blairh10's post illustrates this perfectly.

Many of us have our individual 'crisis points' around emotional eating and, as you don't know what they are, with respect, kindly refer to your own experiences and stop extrapolating.

My comments are based on rather more than personal experience.But as the valley girl would say, 'whatever'. You appear determined to miss my point, and if you're happy with that, more power to you. I'm not saying what you think I'm saying. Let's leave it at that, eh?

Out of courtesy, I've gone back through the thread; I've read from the OP all the way to the end. I understand the point being made; it isn't difficult to grasp. The use of the word 'binge' is used over-frequently, I would agree. I would also agree that eating a few hundred calories over and above what you planned isn't bingeing if you're in control - neither is eating a few thousand over what you planned if you have control. People are not going to stop using the word to describe ingesting an extra chocolate or a whole cake.

From what I've seen of the posts here, many think it is a lack of control that characterises the behaviour and on that I would agree. Does it make a difference whether somebody is 5,000 over or 20,000 over or more? What's the 'cut off' point when it ceases to be overeating and becomes a binge? What about the behaviour and demeanour of the person who is in the acting of eating out of control. If they are choking back tears? Mindlessly cramming? Picking up food from bins, the floor, stealing it from shops?

I personally wouldn't describe what the OP refers to as a 'binge', possibly because the phrase is overused and perhaps it isn't descriptive enough to define the anguish and despair and complete mindlessness/single-mindedness, obsessiveness and complete lack of brakes. So intent and uncontrolled that a person could potentially eat all shopping budget for a week in one go and not comprehend a single taste. I can understand why the OP is upset at the 'over-use' of the word, it is over-used - like so many others.

One person's experience is not necessarily the same as another person's, whether personal or derived elsewhere. Nobody has the right to dismiss another's views.

I think this was an ill-advised thread to post on a public forum. So much diversity of opinion and potential for causing upset. The term 'bingeing' will forever be used in a 'lighter' setting, perhaps incorrectly, whereas frenetic and uncontrolled eating will not.

Cookie Crumble, what you just posted is pretty much exactly what I meant. Why exactly are we disagreeing?

I see binging as more of a psychological issue... there is no set caloric intake. It has to do with guilt, control, etc.

This!

just putting this out there to set the record straight; it makes my skin crawl to see some people logging a 400 calorie snack attack as a an "OMG massive, disgusting, binge." there is a DIFFERENCE between someone who overeats a few hundred cals (usually because theyre depriving themselves) and someone who gorges themselves on a few THOUSAND calories because of emotional reasons. for someone like myself who's had 3k-5k emotional and horribly compulsive binges, its a slap in the face when i see people who call these ~under 1000 calorie meals~ "binges." its just overeating. i feel like theyre totally misinformed, saying they have a problem that is actually very serious for other people.

am i crazy or am i right? i see it time and time again.....

I don't agree. For me, a binge is very much emotionally defined. If I feel like uncontrollably eating 400 calories of cheese or peanut butter, or 1500 calories of healthy food in one sitting and feel the usual guilty, self-hating feelings after either, I qualify them both as a binge. Sure there's a difference in calories consumed, but not in the psychological aspect.

I hate when people try to own eating disorders and make them exclusive, like when you can't be considered "anorexic" if you have a healthy BMI.

And I think it's very telling if you (and anyone else who feels the same as you) are offended by other people having a "small" binge, I think that comes from your illness as well, because when I was bulimic I would probably agree with that, but now that I'm recovered, my perspective has changed.

Agreeing with most people here. As a therapist myself, and as someone who has also struggled with emotional eating, you have no right or place to tell me what constitutes emotional eating for me or anyone else. I'm going to tout my 6 years of training in psychology and mental health at a top university here. What are YOUR credentials for this petty rant?

^^ This

And just reading through, I am amazed at all the harsh comments directed at each other. Why insult people just because what they consider a 'binge' isn't your idea of one? So they deserve to be undermined and have hostility directed at them even though they too suffer mentally from it? So everybody has a different view of what binging is. Get over it. It doesn't mean they are suffering any less than you so why make a big deal of it. I've seen people flip out over just overeating by 100 calories. As irritating as it may be, I would never bash on them but instead just offer the support that I know I would want if I were binging on thousands of calories. There are so many types of eating disorders and I think it is just wrong to insult others because they are having a hard time with something that doesn't quite 'live up to yours'. And seeing a couple comments on here telling people who call 500 a binge to "shut the f*** up"...Now that is appaling. =/ If it irritates you so much then delete them as friends so you don't have to see it but don't go around making fun of or insulting them..

I couldn't agree more. I binge on at least 3000 in the least (in one sitting). 500 calories is nothing. So shut the **** up if you don't know what it really means to binge.

I agree with you and I think you should take your own advice, seeing as you are one of those who doesn't understand what it means to binge.

Quite frankly what I hear in your "rant" is the significant pain and struggle you don't want to have minimized. I hear your pain and I'm so sorry for this experience for you. The fact that it bothers you that others use the word "binge" without really understanding a BAD SIGNIFICANT binge just makes me guess you are still struggling, still in pain and still working through it all. Hang in there... Keep working and healing and someday you will be so strong and filled with so much self confidence and self love that it won't ever bother you.

This is the perfect response to this entire thread. Spoken like a true therapist.

Perfect response. Whoever said that should be a therapist!! Perfect reflection of content and affect.

when I'm over...I'm OVER! Today I'm over :-(

And just to put it out there about the state of mind. A state of mind during a "binge" binge for someone who is seriously binging (this is in my opinion and from my struggle) is not just nibble of this nibble of that... it's a trance, it's as if someone took over your body and you are in a frenzy to get to the food. You need it, it's like a fix, like a drug. It's an addiction. At that point no phone call to a friend, no distraction, no bath, no soothing alternative will stop you from binging - you've decided on it and you're going to do it. So yes, there is a stark difference between "overeating" and "binging" because I overeat and when I overeat I perhaps have snacked too much, maybe just indulged a little too much. Binging takes on a different life form. And it doesn't matter what it is - be it cookies, broccoli, chicken... I've binged on plenty of "diet friendly" foods, but its still a binge because I needed to cure an insatiable need (of course a psychological hunger for something other than food).

could not agree with this more. when i binge i feel like a completely different person, i literally cant stop eating and will eat to the point where i feel sickly full and will continue to keep eating knowing i am going to feel sick. its sad. and frustrating.

How about we call it a SPLURGE? As in: 'I splurged on some candy bars and chips today'. Not out of control, just need a break from dieting. A treat. Some sugar and fat and salt. Different from bingeing but you could feel a little residual guilt if you want.

I like that you're trying to be diplomatic and want everyone to just get along. And on this forum with so many *issues* one would think that we'd be the most supportive bunch of people out there. *sigh*

I have splurges where I make a conscious choice/decision, and I have binges where I lack the self-control.

For the OP, by now you've read the dictionary's definition and know that you don't have to have an ED to binge.

And the most classic line is the poster who said what if a person who binges on 20,000 calories doesn't think the OP should be using the word binge to describe a mere 3-5k overeating. Love that post! In life - you really do need to have a sense of humor and bigger problems to worry about if the use of the word "binge" makes your skin crawl. Want a couple of mine? :laugh:

I have a better pet peeve...I find it offensive to be called *skinny fat*. I'm slender, I'm petite, I'm trim...I just don't have defined muscles... If I think long and hard enough, it might make my skin crawl to think people are using that term about me. See, there really are other things more important to worry about... :flowerforyou:


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