How to dress for dinner...

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  • angeldaae
    angeldaae Posts: 348 Member
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    There's a ritzy place called Daniel's Broiler here in Seattle, and my mom and I used to go for lunch and supper there quite often... she told me flat-out later on that only the people who can't afford to do Daniel's as a regular thing dress up for it, which I totally understood.

    Wow.

    Just wow.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Oh god...who cares?

    I like to look nice, I like my boyfriend to look nice.

    As for everyone else..who gives a frack.

    For me, this^^^
    If they can pay for it and aren't being loud and obnoxious I probably wouldn't notice.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    As far as dress goes, I don't really care if someone is wearing cargo shorts and a tee. I like to dress up and look nice but I would probably wear some yoga pants and a tee shirt to the mall also.

    BUT I too was brought up where men do not wear hats at the dinner table, in a church or during the national anthem.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    I never understood the hat at the dinner table rule. People get so bent out of shape about it you'd think you just kicked their dog or something. It's not hurting anybody, it's not offensive or annoying. Well, people get annoyed but for no valid reason. Why should I take my hat off and show my hat head just because of some old school rule?

    And if people are dressed down for dinner I just assume they were out and about and didn't have time to come home and change, or didn't really care. If someone wants to get their panties in a bunch about something I'm wearing that's their problem, I really couldn't care less.

    It's a sign of respect, pretty simple. You should be able to respect the people you're having dinner with enough to take your hat off while eating. If not, it's fine, doesn't affect me - I just end up better off in the end.
    Well, first of all, I'm just playing devils advocate because I hardly ever wear hats, but I wouldn't find it the least bit disrespectful if someone was wearing at hat while eating with me. WTF would I care, there are plenty of ways to be an *kitten*-hole, wearing a hat isn't one of them. Personally I would rather look at someone's hat than their nasty *kitten* greasy hat head.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    No matter where you are, unless a restaurant states that it is a dress attire, wear what you want and dont look back. Just reserve your own interpretations of others to your head.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    $100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

    if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

    It's not a HUGE amount, but for two people w/ 1-2 drinks, it's a decent price.

    $100 at Friday's? Maybe if you get two apps, two entree's, two desserts, 4-5 beers a piece and tip $20. lol

    2 $20 entree plus a $10 app and 4 $6 drinks each. not too hard to do it at a place like Fridays. but who the hell would want to eat there? LOL :) id rather spend it at the sushi place th OP mentioned :)
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I agree that dressing well is a sign of respect for yourself, as well as the people around you. But I do judge people based on how they are dressed. You don't have to be wearing Armani or Balenciaga to impress me, but I absolutely believe that the way you dress is a reflection of who you are. If you walk into Ruth's Chris wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, I will think less of you. If you can afford to eat at a place like that, you can afford to dress for a place like that, and you are CHOOSING not to, for no reason other than the fact that all you care about is your own comfort. You may be a very nice person, but the impression you are making is "I have no sense of occasion, and I don't care at all about anyone else around me."

    I like getting dressed up, even if it's not an upscale restaurant, but in fancy places, I do think it hinders the atmosphere for people to walk in wearing very casual clothing. You are not just paying for food in those places. You are paying for an experience.

    And hats should be removed the second you enter a building. A hat is to protect your head from the elements. It is not a fashion statement (for a man, anyway).
  • bexy_27
    bexy_27 Posts: 28 Member
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    I don't really pay attention to other people when I go out, unless they happen to be babies. :-)
  • reactor25
    reactor25 Posts: 146 Member
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    Where I live, it is casual all the time. So I am just more excited to see people actually dressed for dinner. Dressing up is "out."

    This is true for me, too! Always casual here, so I love to see people dress up :)
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    You know, I don't think it really matters how a person dresses, as long as they aren't wearing stained or dirty clothing. There's a ritzy place called Daniel's Broiler here in Seattle, and my mom and I used to go for lunch and supper there quite often. One day, I noticed that a lot of the people there were dressed up pretty spiffy...nice dresses, heels, suits. And I asked my mom why they were dressed up so nicely when "it's only Daniel's." She told me that different people have different ideas of what expensive restaurants should have as a dress policy...but, she also told me flat-out later on that only the people who can't afford to do Daniel's as a regular thing dress up for it, which I totally understood.

    Above all, though...wearing hats indoors is rude, and uncouth. His mother should have slapped him, if she'd been there.

    I'll refrain from name calling.
  • sjmitchner
    sjmitchner Posts: 121 Member
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    My hubby removes his hat when he enters a building (maybe a little old fashioned) that's the way he was raised. Needless to say hats do not make an appearance at the dinning table. But then I was raised with certain rules: if it wasn't fast food we dressed nicely, church clothes do not involve jeans and dresses must come to the knee, clothing with holes and stains don't leave the house, you wear pantyhose/knee highs with dresses and skirts.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    $100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

    if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

    It's not a HUGE amount, but for two people w/ 1-2 drinks, it's a decent price.

    $100 at Friday's? Maybe if you get two apps, two entree's, two desserts, 4-5 beers a piece and tip $20. lol

    2 $20 entree plus a $10 app and 4 $6 drinks each. not too hard to do it at a place like Fridays. but who the hell would want to eat there? LOL :) id rather spend it at the sushi place th OP mentioned :)

    So you're at $74. lol better get two desserts and a few more drinks.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    $100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

    if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

    It's not a HUGE amount, but for two people w/ 1-2 drinks, it's a decent price.

    $100 at Friday's? Maybe if you get two apps, two entree's, two desserts, 4-5 beers a piece and tip $20. lol

    2 $20 entree plus a $10 app and 4 $6 drinks each. not too hard to do it at a place like Fridays. but who the hell would want to eat there? LOL :) id rather spend it at the sushi place th OP mentioned :)

    So you're at $74. lol better get two desserts and a few more drinks.

    If I had 4 drinks at dinner, you'd have to carry me out.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    But if you have a reservation to a nice place (nicer than "the olive garden" (in the voice of Howard's mom on The Big Bang Theory)), why wouldn't you get cleaned up and not have the hat head? Seriously, if I was out on a date that required a reservation, I sure as heck wouldn't be "out and about" up until the time... But many people feel that it's a respect thing. They feel it's disrespectful to wear a hat indoors. It's a tradition as old as shaking hands... yet we still do that.
    Well if I could I would get cleaned up, but I've also been in situations where I've been out and just haven't had the time to go all the way back home or just haven't felt like it. If anyone thinks it's disrespectful I think they're a little too sensitive. If I'm under dressed I'm not disrespecting anybody but myself.

    And so wearing a hat indoors is disrespectful just because it is a tradition? There are a lot of laws and rules that are very outdated. A few months ago at work we started overhauling some of our processes that were outdated. When we started asking ourselves why we do certain things, "Because that's the way we've always done it" was not an acceptable answer. So we ended up increasing productivity and saved a boatload of money by changing the way we do some things that were previously outdated. Don't confuse tradition with a failure to keep up with the times.
  • spynoodle
    spynoodle Posts: 404
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    I went to a fairly expensive (but not fancy) restaurant with a friend of mine. We looked like riff raff and the couple next to us had obviously dressed up for the evening. I have often wondered if they were mad that we were in hoodies and holey jeans. We had just finished building furniture and moving stuff.
  • PosyPods
    PosyPods Posts: 25
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    I couldn't care less what someone else is wearing when I go out to eat. In fact, I find it kind of funny that so many people even notice this. The exception would be a restaurant that explicitly states some sort of dress code, in which case they should be controlling for that. Otherwise, "fancy" is really a subjective term. Also, times change. I think some people on here whining about people dressing with no respect would be out of place themselves in another time or place. I just take the casualness as a sign that things are changing, as they always have, and will always continue to.

    I guess the one place this would really be an issue for me would be at weddings. In that case, I do think what you wear is a sign of respect - for the bride and groom, since the occasion is meant to specifically celebrate them.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    We're not talking about business processes. We're talking about manners. Good manners never go out of style. We could easily turn this into a conversation about men opening car doors for women, pulling out their chairs, etc. None of that is "necessary." But it's proper, it's respectful, it's appreciated. It makes you stand out from the crowd, and if you're dating a beautiful, intelligent woman who has men beating down her door, that's one of the easiest ways to set yourself apart.

    Put the shoe on the other foot. Say you planned a nice, fancy dinner for a girl you really like, and you tell her that she needs to dress up for the occasion. She's annoyed by it and shows up wearing ripped jeans, a tank top, flip flops, her greasy hair in a bun, and no makeup on, while you're standing there in a Brooks Brothers suit. You telling me that wouldn't make you think twice about just how into you she is and whether she cares at all about the effort you're making?

    Don't confuse being lazy with keeping up with the times.
  • sjmitchner
    sjmitchner Posts: 121 Member
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    The removal of a hat when entering a building signals:
    #1 you are inside and don't need it,
    #2 that you are intending to stay for a period of time

    The removal of the hat and the handshake originated with medieval Knights. Woman on the other hand were often expected to cover their heads as a sign of being modest, or in some cases the to indicate married or unmarried. This custom spread from the upper classes to the lower over time. Therefore the differing expectations regarding head-wear come from a long history. Yes culture/customs change over time, it is up to each of us to choose what is important to us.

    At the end of the day the removal of a hat was a sign of respect. For those who still do so, that is still it's meaning.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    As far as dress goes, I don't really care if someone is wearing cargo shorts and a tee. I like to dress up and look nice but I would probably wear some yoga pants and a tee shirt to the mall also.

    BUT I too was brought up where men do not wear hats at the dinner table, in a church or during the national anthem.

    It's the mall, nothing fancy about that (99% of the time).
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    I couldn't care less what someone else is wearing when I go out to eat. In fact, I find it kind of funny that so many people even notice this. The exception would be a restaurant that explicitly states some sort of dress code, in which case they should be controlling for that. Otherwise, "fancy" is really a subjective term. Also, times change. I think some people on here whining about people dressing with no respect would be out of place themselves in another time or place. I just take the casualness as a sign that things are changing, as they always have, and will always continue to.

    I guess the one place this would really be an issue for me would be at weddings. In that case, I do think what you wear is a sign of respect - for the bride and groom, since the occasion is meant to specifically celebrate them.

    Have you ever been to a place that had a dress code? You don't get in if you don't meet the code. I can dress down in jeans w/ holes, flip flops and a raggy t-shirt. But if I'm taking my lady out to dinner, I'm going to change. Period.

    Now if we're on the way to Lowes or something and we stop for lunch at a "typical" place to eat, sure. But I'll still take a hat off if I have one on. My grandmother taught me better than that. But if it's even a remotely nicer place to eat, I will change.

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