"Face it, we'll never be that skinny again."
BAMFMeredith
Posts: 2,810 Member
That's what my best friend from high school said to me last night.
We have our 10 year high school reunion coming up in September and I told her how my goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress. My size 2/4 (I think it was maybe like a 3 in juniors) prom dress. I'm a size 10 right now (down from a 14). We were joking about how crazy we were for ever thinking we were fat back then, and how we wish we were that size again, when she said "Let's just face it, we'll never be that skinny again."
And I thought...well...maybe you won't...but I will. I guess it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like she thought I couldn't do it or something. Or maybe it was just her resigning herself to being the size she is now after have 2 babies. Her body changed a lot (she was very skinny with no curves when we were 18, now she has hips and breasts), but mine didn't My body shape is still the same, I've always had hips and breasts, now they just have a LOT more fat on top of them. Sure, we were skinny back then, but neither of us were in shape...we were just teenagers with good metabolisms.
I'm sure she didn't mean it in a rude way, but it just kinda dragged me down, like well if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? I have to think that if I work hard enough I CAN get down to a size 2 or 4 and fit into that prom dress, and this time I'll actually have some muscle definition and be in shape as opposed to just skinny! It just seems like size 4 is sooooo far away from me right now...I guess I kinda just wanted to post this as a vent/validation seeking post, so thanks for reading!
We have our 10 year high school reunion coming up in September and I told her how my goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress. My size 2/4 (I think it was maybe like a 3 in juniors) prom dress. I'm a size 10 right now (down from a 14). We were joking about how crazy we were for ever thinking we were fat back then, and how we wish we were that size again, when she said "Let's just face it, we'll never be that skinny again."
And I thought...well...maybe you won't...but I will. I guess it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like she thought I couldn't do it or something. Or maybe it was just her resigning herself to being the size she is now after have 2 babies. Her body changed a lot (she was very skinny with no curves when we were 18, now she has hips and breasts), but mine didn't My body shape is still the same, I've always had hips and breasts, now they just have a LOT more fat on top of them. Sure, we were skinny back then, but neither of us were in shape...we were just teenagers with good metabolisms.
I'm sure she didn't mean it in a rude way, but it just kinda dragged me down, like well if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? I have to think that if I work hard enough I CAN get down to a size 2 or 4 and fit into that prom dress, and this time I'll actually have some muscle definition and be in shape as opposed to just skinny! It just seems like size 4 is sooooo far away from me right now...I guess I kinda just wanted to post this as a vent/validation seeking post, so thanks for reading!
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Replies
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I hate looking at pictures of me from high school. I was so tiny (still the same body shape, I've had hips and boobs since I hit puberty) but I thought I was HUGE! I wish I could slap myself...
Don't let her drag you down Mer. You're gorgeous
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Don't take it as a personal sleight on you. It's actually a justification on her part about herself, what she is saying is that it is ok for her to look like that, because anything else is impossible. She has to think this, because otherwise she would feel bad about herself. Its a very common thing.
It's far easier for people to believe something is impossible, or that someone else is just 'lucky', than to admit that they just can't be bothered to put in the time, effort and hard work to achieve what the other person has, whether that's a hot body, a nice car, a good job, or anything else that's worth having.0 -
I asked a similar question a while back, and the overall answer is that YES you can do it. But, to get to that level, it's very extreme and takes a lot of disclipline. My mom did it. She was smaller than she was in HS in her 60's. it was amazing. But, she ate so good and exercised 7 days a week. She was what you would call, crazy about her health. She ate like a saint. Never slipped. Never gorged. Was extremely disciplined. I think it can be done. But, it really takes strong dedication. She did things like ate salad with no dressing. I mean, that's what it takes, IMO. It's one thing to just be happy and healthy, be working out, be eating right, and accept a certain level of body fat as just being happy with where you are. It's another thing to not accept anything except a size 2, or whatever. To me, that's a whole different level of fitness and health. Again, it can be done, like anything. It just takes absolute focus and determination. YOU CAN DO IT.0
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Don't let her bring you down NOR think that you have failed if September comes and you're not automatically a 2/4 size. They're just random numbers. It's great to have a goal of fitting into your prom dress, but let's face it (this is what she should have said)... you'll never be an 18 year old skinny chick ever again, but you can damn well be a 28 or older woman that has a KILLER body that's toned in all the right places and look even better in that dress.
There. I fixed her statement with the truth. :flowerforyou:0 -
Yes you can be as skinny as you were in high school! I'm 42, I did it and so can you.0
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I know how your friend feels, and I'm guessing she didn't mean to drag you down, she's trying to be realistic with herself. There is no way I'll fit in my high school clothes, my body has changed too much and it most certainly wouldn't flatter me to try and wear those styles anymore!
I hope you and your friend are able to come to middle ground before someone starts feeling resentful. If it becomes a long-standing issue, maybe just gently pointing out to her that you have faith and hope in yourself and it would be nice if she could respect that...
Good luck and may your prom dream come true!0 -
you CAN. I'm 8lbs lighter than ive ever been. I'm smaller than i was in highschool. i was never a size 2, lol...but ive also never been a size 9 either...untill now
your kickin *kitten* girl, youve got tons of support and your doing it right now. i have faith and u should too! 0 -
You CAN do this and you KNOW that. Don't let her justification drag you down, gorgeous. You've got this!! Next time tell her "heck no we won't be that skinny again. We'll (or I'll) be FIT for the reunion and better looking than high school, when we were skinny..."0
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Just take that phrase and use it as motivation!! SHE may never be there again but there's nothing stop you. You can do it!!!0
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I believe in you. You're going to rock that dress!0
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Don't let her bring you down NOR think that you have failed if September comes and you're not automatically a 2/4 size. They're just random numbers. It's great to have a goal of fitting into your prom dress, but let's face it (this is what she should have said)... you'll never be an 18 year old skinny chick ever again, but you can damn well be a 28 or older woman that has a KILLER body that's toned in all the right places and look even better in that dress.
There. I fixed her statement with the truth. :flowerforyou:
^ This!!! :drinker:0 -
The reason I started really focusing on my weight loss was because of a very blunt conversation I had with one of my guy friends who I've been friends since 7th grade. He has always been in fantastic shape, did some body building competitions and now owns a gym.
When I was visiting him in December he was asking me "when are you gonna stop being fat" (we have a very special relationship, he's an *kitten* and I know it, and I've always been way over confidant so his remarks don't hurt) anyhow we started discussing weight loss and getting older and metabolisms slowing and blah blah. He told me I should weigh between 130-145, I was like no way I weighed that much in high school, that could never happen. He says to my "Why??? It's not like you got any taller or your bones changed, you got lazy, you drank a lot, you sit at your desk all day and eat too much, there is no reason why you can't weigh the same amount as you did in HS." In HS we played sports, were on the go, walking between classes, working jobs where we were standing, not eating snacks all day, it was a different, much more active lifestyle. We just gotta get back to moving more. This conversation really stuck with me, cause in his assy way, he's right on. Now I don't look at 130-145 as impossible, it just takes more work
So, in a nutshell, you didn't get taller so essentially you CAN get back to your HS weight. 0 -
Y'all are awesome
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I think it is just her resigning, and it helps to convince herself that if she won't then neither will you. BUT... you WILL!!
I too could slap myself for not fighting harder to hold on to that body. But, I will never give up on the mission to get as close to it as I can.
Go get em!0 -
You have come sooo far!! And you will get to that goal. She probably thinks she can't get to that goal so she is using you with her general neglect of what she thinks you guys can do. You've already dropped 4 sizes and you will drop 4 more! Go for it!0
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Not to be a Debbie Downer...but your body shape has probably changed. Even at the age of 18 most of us haven't fully developed or changed shape... While you may lose weight and get back into a small size, you won't necessarily look the same. So I don't want you to be frustrated or disappointed if you don't get into a size 2 pant.
That being said, I have no doubt that if you stick with it you will reach your goals! You will rock that dress, lose some inches, get fit look amazing, and hey, maybe even look better than you did 10 years ago (or however many it has been)! Good luck! 0 -
That's what my best friend from high school said to me last night.
We have our 10 year high school reunion coming up in September and I told her how my goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress. My size 2/4 (I think it was maybe like a 3 in juniors) prom dress. I'm a size 10 right now (down from a 14). We were joking about how crazy we were for ever thinking we were fat back then, and how we wish we were that size again, when she said "Let's just face it, we'll never be that skinny again."
And I thought...well...maybe you won't...but I will. I guess it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like she thought I couldn't do it or something. Or maybe it was just her resigning herself to being the size she is now after have 2 babies. Her body changed a lot (she was very skinny with no curves when we were 18, now she has hips and breasts), but mine didn't My body shape is still the same, I've always had hips and breasts, now they just have a LOT more fat on top of them. Sure, we were skinny back then, but neither of us were in shape...we were just teenagers with good metabolisms.
I'm sure she didn't mean it in a rude way, but it just kinda dragged me down, like well if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? I have to think that if I work hard enough I CAN get down to a size 2 or 4 and fit into that prom dress, and this time I'll actually have some muscle definition and be in shape as opposed to just skinny! It just seems like size 4 is sooooo far away from me right now...I guess I kinda just wanted to post this as a vent/validation seeking post, so thanks for reading!
I suggest getting your bodyfat tested and then try to figure out a good goal weight that corresponds to a realistic body fat %. Be all you can be by all means but be intelligent about it. We aren't in highschool anymore and you probably have muscle mass you didn't have back then.0 -
For real, I am 35 pounds lighter now than I was in high school. I don't believe it either. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.0
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Yes you can. She said "we" because it softened (for her) what she was really saying....."I don't believe in myself"
You can, and you will.
I have my own prom dress on in my pictures.....red velvet with white sequin delight. I never believed I was going to get there again, but I did! And so will you!!!0 -
Don't take it as a personal sleight on you. It's actually a justification on her part about herself, what she is saying is that it is ok for her to look like that, because anything else is impossible. She has to think this, because otherwise she would feel bad about herself. Its a very common thing.
It's far easier for people to believe something is impossible, or that someone else is just 'lucky', than to admit that they just can't be bothered to put in the time, effort and hard work to achieve what the other person has, whether that's a hot body, a nice car, a good job, or anything else that's worth having.
well said...He's correct. what she said wasn't about YOU or even BOTH of you. It was about HER and how she feels. She just projected it onto the two of you as to not draw attention to herself specifically. Because YOU can do it :-)0 -
As far as taking what she said to heart, as several people have already pointed out, this statement was likely about *her* not you. She doesn't think she'll ever be that skinny again, I doubt she was really thinking about you when she said it. People, even people who care about us, are sometimes thoughtless like that. I doubt she meant to imply that she doesn't believe in you.
I could be wrong, but going from a size 10, to a juniors size 3 in 3-4 months (late May to sometime in September) seems like a pretty tough goal to me. I also think the above poster who pointed out that while it may be possible to be "that thin" again, the necessary measures may be more than you are willing to take to achieve that goal. At a certain point, is it really important to be a size 2/4 again? Would it be worth harming your mental or physical health to do so? Probably not. Would it be worth constant worrying to do so? That's a judgement call. I'd suggest that rather than focusing on being a specific size, you may find it more productive to focus on health and fitness related goals. For example, you might want to be a generally healthy weight, have normal cholesterol, run a 10k, go on bike rides with your kids, etc.. These sorts of goals are probably more achievable, and can have a much more positive influence on your life than the number sewn on a little tag (or screen printed) on the inside of your clothes.0 -
I graduated at 132 pounds. Lord kill me if I ever get that skinny again!
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Forget the skinny, I want my hair back that I had then...0
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I'll never be as fat as I was in highschool again.... wait, thats different. But hey...could be worse right?0
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Don't let her bad attitude derail your efforts. Lean on us for positive suportive statements. We're here for you!0
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When you slim down in Sept, you wouldn't want to wear that little form fitting black dress or anything right? :bigsmile:0
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I think she doesn't believe in herself, and the comment likely wasn't directed at you.
I actually don't believe I'll be able to get as skinny as I was in high school (maybe - but my body has changed a lot since then, and for a brief period of time I was under weight for my frame) but I am sure as hell going to get as close as possible!
Maybe she needs support from you - you could try doing this together?0 -
That's what my best friend from high school said to me last night.
We have our 10 year high school reunion coming up in September and I told her how my goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress. My size 2/4 (I think it was maybe like a 3 in juniors) prom dress. I'm a size 10 right now (down from a 14). We were joking about how crazy we were for ever thinking we were fat back then, and how we wish we were that size again, when she said "Let's just face it, we'll never be that skinny again."
And I thought...well...maybe you won't...but I will. I guess it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like she thought I couldn't do it or something. Or maybe it was just her resigning herself to being the size she is now after have 2 babies. Her body changed a lot (she was very skinny with no curves when we were 18, now she has hips and breasts), but mine didn't My body shape is still the same, I've always had hips and breasts, now they just have a LOT more fat on top of them. Sure, we were skinny back then, but neither of us were in shape...we were just teenagers with good metabolisms.
I'm sure she didn't mean it in a rude way, but it just kinda dragged me down, like well if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? I have to think that if I work hard enough I CAN get down to a size 2 or 4 and fit into that prom dress, and this time I'll actually have some muscle definition and be in shape as opposed to just skinny! It just seems like size 4 is sooooo far away from me right now...I guess I kinda just wanted to post this as a vent/validation seeking post, so thanks for reading!
I suggest getting your bodyfat tested and then try to figure out a good goal weight that corresponds to a realistic body fat %. Be all you can be by all means but be intelligent about it. We aren't in highschool anymore and you probably have muscle mass you didn't have back then.
I def gotten those things done, which is why I'm all the more determined to get down to a size 4-ish. I have a small frame and have only set goals that are realistic for a HEALTHY body composition/weight/etc. I've gone from a 14 to a 10 in 4 months, so I feel pretty confident in my ability to get down to a 4, even if it takes me longer than 4 months. Sure, that prom dress by September is my goal, but I'm not going to do anything unhealthy to get there.
My first and foremost goal (for those of y'all who don't know me) is to be as fit and healthy as possible, and to complete a marathon next year (I've run 3 half so far). My aesthetic goal is to be down around a size 4 because I feel like that is what looks best for my body---a healthy, lean size 4. I'm not stressing about it, I'm not worrying about it, but I just don't like being told I can't do something. I've never been a "can't" type of person.0 -
oi kind of think that way, but that's because high school was too close to the start of puberty for me so my adult body is a much different build than when i was in high school. even in college i was still at a good weight, but it was about 20 pounds more than high school and distributed a bit differently.
so no, i'll never be that skinny again0 -
i am actually thinner now then when i was in high school : )0
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