"Face it, we'll never be that skinny again."

rrrbecca11 · May 2012

That's what my best friend from high school said to me last night.

We have our 10 year high school reunion coming up in September and I told her how my goal was to be able to fit into my prom dress. My size 2/4 (I think it was maybe like a 3 in juniors) prom dress. I'm a size 10 right now (down from a 14). We were joking about how crazy we were for ever thinking we were fat back then, and how we wish we were that size again, when she said "Let's just face it, we'll never be that skinny again."

And I thought...well...maybe you won't...but I will. I guess it kinda rubbed me the wrong way, like she thought I couldn't do it or something. Or maybe it was just her resigning herself to being the size she is now after have 2 babies. Her body changed a lot (she was very skinny with no curves when we were 18, now she has hips and breasts), but mine didn't My body shape is still the same, I've always had hips and breasts, now they just have a LOT more fat on top of them. Sure, we were skinny back then, but neither of us were in shape...we were just teenagers with good metabolisms.

I'm sure she didn't mean it in a rude way, but it just kinda dragged me down, like well if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? I have to think that if I work hard enough I CAN get down to a size 2 or 4 and fit into that prom dress, and this time I'll actually have some muscle definition and be in shape as opposed to just skinny! It just seems like size 4 is sooooo far away from me right now...I guess I kinda just wanted to post this as a vent/validation seeking post, so thanks for reading!

I am laughing. :laugh: Your friend is just wrong. At the age of 55, I weigh about 5 pounds less than I did at my high school graduation, and am in MUCH better shape and health.

Don't let that drag you down. Maybe SHE will never be as skinny, but hey. Believe in yourself!! I believe in you and I don't even know you, simply because I know it is possible.

lucythinmint · May 2012

I weigh 30lbs less than I did in HS and I have had 4 children. I could mop the floor with my teenage self.

You can do it, let her words be your motivation. :drinker:

barbergirl28 · May 2012

You got this and it is possible to do. Why? Because just based off your post I see you have the motivation, the desire and the drive... if anything to prove to yourself and prove to her that she is wrong. I know she probably didn't mean it in a negative way, and maybe it was more of a justification on her part if she will and can't because her body shape changed after having kids. I know I will never look like I did in high school... after I had kids I suddenly went from a boyish figure to curves... it's weird! But I also know that I don't want to look like I did in high school... I want to look much much better. I know I can get there and I know you can too. Good luck! Stay positive. A good portion is mental and if you tell yourself you got this you are going to be rocking that prom dress. Now that you mention it... I think that is going to be my new goal as well!

downsizinghoss · May 2012

Damn. My goal weight is almost 50 pounds below where I was when I graduated. But I was trying to be big back then.

jadedone · May 2012

My goal size and weight are lower than my high school one. But my body shape has changed since then as well, even though I am childless.

I think the best goal is to be the best you, you can be. It doesn't matter if that means high school weight or larger or smaller. It is all about improving your health, fitness and body fat percentage.

519harley · May 2012

I love this!! You can do it. I'm 58 and only 5 pounds away from my high school weight. This quote is RIGHT ON!! Have fun at the reunion.

Don't let her bring you down NOR think that you have failed if September comes and you're not automatically a 2/4 size. They're just random numbers. It's great to have a goal of fitting into your prom dress, but let's face it (this is what she should have said)... you'll never be an 18 year old skinny chick ever again, but you can damn well be a 28 or older woman that has a KILLER body that's toned in all the right places and look even better in that dress.

There. I fixed her statement with the truth. :flowerforyou:

^ This!!! :drinker:

barbergirl28 · May 2012

Well said!

jenj1313 · May 2012

Sounds like she doesn't believe in herself... I doubt it has anything to do with you. If her body changed, she probably WON'T be that skinny again, but it doesn't mean she can't make progress. Try encouraging her and see what happens!

As for your goals, they're for you, not her, so don't let an off-hand comment drag you down.

Good luck fitting into that dress!!
Jen

Cyphio · May 2012

I agree with the fact that it is more about her, not about you. If you can mentally convince yourself a goal is not obtainable, then why try? Ignorance is bliss, in a sense.

BrettPGH · May 2012

If I was the size I was in high school I'd start crying.

I've never been in shape. I was never an athlete. I was fat and weak my whole life.

Now at the age of 34 I'm in the best shape of my life. Anything is possible if you work for it.

determined136 · May 2012

I believe in you....I am thinner than I was in high school...YOU CAN DO IT!!!! You will be healther too and that is what you are really going for!!!:laugh:

RickMckc · May 2012

"if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? " ... obviously everyone on MFP does, including me.

However, if she is really your best friend, why don't you take a risk and tell her (in addition to all of us) that you feel unsupported by her comment? Maybe she didn't mean it that way at all. Or maybe she did. Either way, your friendship will be better for the discussion.

Not trying to be snarky but I know a lot of people who don't confront stuff like this and it slowly drives a wedge into the relationship.

Peace.

Liasings · May 2012

my ex-fiance told me I didnt have the genes to ever be in shape, that I would be fat forever and he dint want to see me go through so much heartbreak trying to be fit when it wasnt in the cards for me.

I said - um my dad was a short stop and my mom was a gymnast and Im only over-weight because of 4 years in PT. My genes say Im ecto-meso, I'll be fine.

He said - that's not your genes, your genes tell me you are fat now and you'll never be thin even if you go bulimic.

^ mention he's my ex?

Prove your friend wrong :flowerforyou:

OMG! So glad you kicked him to the curb!

angieleighbyrd · May 2012

My mom told me once that my goal weight was too small. I said "um that's exactly what I weighed before I had my first son"

She goes on about how I was 13 years younger then and blah blah blah...my response "so"

I can get there again. I will get there again, and I will have fun shoving it in her face.

Brandicaloriecountess · May 2012

I am thinner than I was in HS.

secretlobster · May 2012

I'm 10lbs lighter than I was in HS, and I wasn't overweight in HS (I'm 29 now)

BAMFMeredith · May 2012

"if my best friend of almost 14 years doesn't believe in me, then who does?? " ... obviously everyone on MFP does, including me.

However, if she is really your best friend, why don't you take a risk and tell her (in addition to all of us) that you feel unsupported by her comment? Maybe she didn't mean it that way at all. Or maybe she did. Either way, your friendship will be better for the discussion.

Not trying to be snarky but I know a lot of people who don't confront stuff like this and it slowly drives a wedge into the relationship.

Peace.

Good call. I probably will mention something to her...we work out together sometimes, and I cheer her on as she works on losing her baby weight (she just had her 2nd baby this past December), so maybe she just needs more reassurance for her goals as well.

Thanks for all of your kind words y'all!!

UponThisRock · May 2012

I'd rather be overweight and strong than the skinny-fat mess I was in high school

BAMFMeredith · May 2012

my ex-fiance told me I didnt have the genes to ever be in shape, that I would be fat forever and he dint want to see me go through so much heartbreak trying to be fit when it wasnt in the cards for me.

I said - um my dad was a short stop and my mom was a gymnast and Im only over-weight because of 4 years in PT. My genes say Im ecto-meso, I'll be fine.

He said - that's not your genes, your genes tell me you are fat now and you'll never be thin even if you go bulimic.

^ mention he's my ex?

Prove your friend wrong :flowerforyou:

OMG! So glad you kicked him to the curb!

SERIOUSLY. What a douche.

Liasings · May 2012

She may be speaking from a place of fear. After all, she has been watching you steadily lose and leave her behind. I agree with other posters; she probably wasn't even thinking about how her words would sound and that they would hurt you.

If her comment is going to fester, you should bring it up to her, but try to avoid "attacking".

The best indicator of future success is past success. I believe that you can achieve your goal! :bigsmile:

bemott · May 2012

of course you can be that size again if you want and work hard at it.
My bff said we would never have a thigh gap again and I am approaching one very quickly, so nah nah nah!

cmeade20 · May 2012

I'm slimmer than I was when I graduated High School, you can be too!

KittieLea · May 2012

Trust me, you can do it, and you will if you believe in yourself. I was about a 5/7 in high school, got up to a 12 at one point and guess what size I've been buying the in the juniors' section recently-3. I'm smaller than I was in high school and never thought I would be. If I can do it, so can you.

aochoa123 · May 2012

when I graduated HS I weighed about 270ish. I gained to 391 lbs and now weigh about 235 so yes it can be done.

Sublog · May 2012

Tell your friend he/she is retarded.

I weigh 23 lbs less now than I did as a 12 year old.

jdploki70 · May 2012

I was a fat teenager with long hair that could somehow hide in the middle of nowhere without even trying. I once got sat on by a girl because she didn't see me. I was a huge invisible kid. I'm way thinner now, I don't wear a bulky jacket everywhere, and people can see my face

SPNLuver83 · May 2012

its not as far as you think!!! a little over 3 months ago i was a 9/10. Now I'm between 3-5. I think your friend has just given up. I am leaner now than I was in HS!