men are evil!!

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2

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  • kimss
    kimss Posts: 1,146
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    and the guys are right... you can't lump all men together. there are some great ones out there. if you find one hold tight to him, if your unhappy, let him go and keep looking. I was 35 when I found the best man in the world, and all the rest were losers in comparison. So don't give up on life when yor only 23yrs old. you have only just begun to live.
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    As far as kids are concerned you do what's in the best interested of those kids, PLEASE!! Do NOT fight with your bf/their father in front of them. They are innocent and did not asked to be in bad situations. If you're staying with him BECAUSE of the kids, that's crazy! Please do not believe the BS that kids are better off in a 2 parent home. Yes that's true IF the two are not fighting constantly and are on the same page working together in life. I'd rather be in a broken home, then a home with 2 broken parents. I'd rather see my parents happy APART then unhappy together.

    Sorry, rant off, I don't know you personally but when kids are involved the situation becomes more difficult. :heart:
    I try and not to fight infront of the kids, but sometimes its inevitable......i do not condone fighting in front of my kids by any means....i went through it as a kid and i remember the feelings.....usually if he goes off about something ill tell my son to go in the playroom or his bed room and i bring his brother in the other room......i cant avoid an arguement with a guy who is always looking for an excuse to fight and the only reason im staying with him now is because i need to save up money to get a place for my kids and I to stay after the break up.....i want to leave with a little bit of security
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    and the guys are right... you can't lump all men together. there are some great ones out there. if you find one hold tight to him, if your unhappy, let him go and keep looking. I was 35 when I found the best man in the world, and all the rest were losers in comparison. So don't give up on life when yor only 23yrs old. you have only just begun to live.
    i think uve got this rant all wrong....i am not giving up on life at all...i am just extremely frustrated and needed a place to get it out...
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    they still will never be on our level.

    Come now. Get off your high horse. The G/F I kicked to the curb before I met my wife was upset because I blew off spending time with her ,to spend time with my Grandfather on his death bed. We were serious enough that she was more than welcome to come with me, but she wanted me to her self.

    Self centered people know no gender/race/religion/nationality boundries.

    We've all been slefish at least once (more than likely, several times) in our lives.

    True. There are just as many awful women out there as men.

    And honestly, I think some of this comes down to a self esteem issue. You need to have enough love for yourself to get out of your current relationship b/c no one deserves to be treated that way.

    And you need to have enough respect for yourself to not go talking to your ex. He's married. Talking will lead to dinner....trust me. My ex cheated on me for a long time before I found out. It wasn't with his ex, but it was another woman, and I'm sure things started out innocent enough. No, that's not true. He truly is an awful person. But still - there's a line that those who are married should draw.

    My bf and I have talked about this and are in complete agreement. You don't put yourself in those situations. If you're married, you probably shouldn't be speaking to your ex, especially if there are still any feelings there or if he's aware of your feelings for him. And it most definitely shouldn't go beyond that. When you're married, you don't do things with someone from the opposite sex and no one else. Period.
  • kimss
    kimss Posts: 1,146
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    sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I know your just letting off steam here. we are all just concerned about you. we all would like to impart our yrs of wisdom and stupid mistakes on you so maybe you can avoid making the same ones. that is the only thing that the ppl here are trying to do for you.
    again sorry, never ment to make you feel bad or hurt your feelings in any way.
  • jessicob
    jessicob Posts: 33
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    I agree I believe that some men are no good but there are plenty of great ones. We also need to understand that we are totally different. There are plenty of girls out there too! gotta look at it from both perspectives. :)
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    they still will never be on our level.

    Come now. Get off your high horse. The G/F I kicked to the curb before I met my wife was upset because I blew off spending time with her ,to spend time with my Grandfather on his death bed. We were serious enough that she was more than welcome to come with me, but she wanted me to her self.

    Self centered people know no gender/race/religion/nationality boundries.

    We've all been slefish at least once (more than likely, several times) in our lives.

    True. There are just as many awful women out there as men.

    And honestly, I think some of this comes down to a self esteem issue. You need to have enough love for yourself to get out of your current relationship b/c no one deserves to be treated that way.

    And you need to have enough respect for yourself to not go talking to your ex. He's married. Talking will lead to dinner....trust me. My ex cheated on me for a long time before I found out. It wasn't with his ex, but it was another woman, and I'm sure things started out innocent enough. No, that's not true. He truly is an awful person. But still - there's a line that those who are married should draw.

    My bf and I have talked about this and are in complete agreement. You don't put yourself in those situations. If you're married, you probably shouldn't be speaking to your ex, especially if there are still any feelings there or if he's aware of your feelings for him. And it most definitely shouldn't go beyond that. When you're married, you don't do things with someone from the opposite sex and no one else. Period.
    sorry to hear about your past experience :frown: but i know nothing would go past us talking...i wouldnt let it even if he wanted to anyways...and as far as opposite sex....i dont totally agree with that and im going to assume that they are in agreement that nothing happens then talking with the opposite sex and hanging out with them is fine
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
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    Can I be frank with you? I think you need to get away from relationships altogether and explore being alone and finding yourself. Do you think that by being with these guys you are setting a good example for your children?
    And waiting until March so you have some money set aside sounds like a bit of a cop-out. Get out now. Your current BF is toxic (and bi-polar, is he on meds and are they the proper dosage?) and your ex is even shadier. There are a lot of social programs for women with children to start over again.
    By being alone you will be able to explore yourself, know yourself and be confident in knowing yourself that comments like the one your BF made when you are about to go out, roll off of you like water to a duck.
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I know your just letting off steam here. we are all just concerned about you. we all would like to impart our yrs of wisdom and stupid mistakes on you so maybe you can avoid making the same ones. that is the only thing that the ppl here are trying to do for you.
    again sorry, never ment to make you feel bad or hurt your feelings in any way.

    thank u hun i really do appreciate it :flowerforyou: and i understand...ive just been so frustrated lately.. and needed to let it out somewhere ..i really do appreciate all the kind words


    And i really dont think all men are bad ....lol just my feelings as of right now to all the men i know personally :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • cassandra1220
    cassandra1220 Posts: 284 Member
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    Can I be frank with you? I think you need to get away from relationships altogether and explore being alone and finding yourself. Do you think that by being with these guys you are setting a good example for your children?
    And waiting until March so you have some money set aside sounds like a bit of a cop-out. Get out now. Your current BF is toxic (and bi-polar, is he on meds and are they the proper dosage?) and your ex is even shadier. There are a lot of social programs for women with children to start over again.
    By being alone you will be able to explore yourself, know yourself and be confident in knowing yourself that comments like the one your BF made when you are about to go out, roll off of you like water to a duck.


    BUMP
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    Can I be frank with you? I think you need to get away from relationships altogether and explore being alone and finding yourself. Do you think that by being with these guys you are setting a good example for your children?
    And waiting until March so you have some money set aside sounds like a bit of a cop-out. Get out now. Your current BF is toxic (and bi-polar, is he on meds and are they the proper dosage?) and your ex is even shadier. There are a lot of social programs for women with children to start over again.
    By being alone you will be able to explore yourself, know yourself and be confident in knowing yourself that comments like the one your BF made when you are about to go out, roll off of you like water to a duck.
    my kids have only seen me with their father.....and he is on the correct meds, but i just think that we are totally unhappy with eachother....and its not really a cop-out...by march if done correctly i did all the math ill have about 6000-7000saved up.....that way i can find a place and pay off 4-5months rent in advance along with all of the bills...i just like having some type of security before i leave esp with kids... if i didnt have kids i would just leave and sleep in my car....but once im out of the current relationship i dont plan on getting into a relationship anytime soon....:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and i ignore most of what my bf says now lol is that mean?
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    <<snip>>
    I have been through some terrible relationships..and they have all been different but have the same factor....men suck. they are just not like us. unsensitive, selfish. i'm sure there are a few good men out there, i consider mine one, but good men are still men. they still will never be on our level. I think that a relationship gets to the point and the guy starts to take things for granted. That's where all my relationships turn bad. A girl has to be respected and appreciated or we won't be happy.
    <<snip>>

    The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

    Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

    <<Not you Hasiangirl, you rock. I told you to ditch that D-bag 3 months ago. You'll be fine, just do what ya gotta. You're stronger than you think you are. :smile: >>
  • vraehn
    vraehn Posts: 1,008
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    Glad you had a place to vent. I have been married 48 years Nov 6. Sometimes it is a love/hate relationship. It's the little things that get blown out of portion. I'm not saying this is your case. However, our children are grown now and didn't know about the mental mistreatment I took. We rarely if ever said things in front of the children, and retreated to the bedroom and kept it down.

    The opposite is true in the home I was raised and I remember my parents yelling at each other and how scarey it was. So don't lose it in front of the kids.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

    Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

    I never knew the counterpart to misogyny! Thanks Casper! :flowerforyou:
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

    Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

    I never knew the counterpart to misogyny! Thanks Casper! :flowerforyou:

    I'm a walkin' thesaurus P - you're welcome.
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    <<snip>>
    I have been through some terrible relationships..and they have all been different but have the same factor....men suck. they are just not like us. unsensitive, selfish. i'm sure there are a few good men out there, i consider mine one, but good men are still men. they still will never be on our level. I think that a relationship gets to the point and the guy starts to take things for granted. That's where all my relationships turn bad. A girl has to be respected and appreciated or we won't be happy.
    <<snip>>

    The word for today is "Misandry" - can you say mis-andry?

    Maybe it's not the guys,,, You obviously don't like men - are you ever going to be happy spending time with people you loathe?

    <<Not you Hasiangirl, you rock. I told you to ditch that D-bag 3 months ago. You'll be fine, just do what ya gotta. You're stronger than you think you are. :smile: >>
    i <3 u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    i <3 u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

    Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?
  • Scottslass
    Scottslass Posts: 76
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    I know the feeling LOL:flowerforyou:
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
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    i <3 u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

    Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?
    nope...and i wouldnt impose on any of my friends...they all have probs of their own :ohwell: i thought of that already the one family member near me i talked to...was just like sorry i cant have 2 kids runnin around
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
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    i <3 u casper lol......i forget some people here know the situation......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: and u were so very right about ditching him 3 months ago.....but in that time frame i cuilt up a debt of 2000 dollars :frown: buttttttttttt ive gotten it down to 200 and by friday ill be all set andddddddd have an extra 600 set aside :bigsmile: only 5 more months of dealing with this situation :bigsmile:

    Any family around you could move in with and still save your money up?
    I agree - you really need to get away from this toxicity. Let me tell you, if you get that cash saved up - I guarantee you he will sweet talk you into a vacation and everything will be forgotten - until he makes you a victim of your OWN circumstance...AGAIN.
    Get away NOW.
    And I meant - your kids are watching you be mistreated by this guy and are learning that it's okay to do this. It's not. So if not for you, then do it for your babies.

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