Running in public- confidence issue

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  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
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    I was embarrassed to, actually still am, but I lloooooove the way running makes me feel. I run in between the local farms now so as to avoid people (although I do run into a few). I am getting better and better at running now. Haha the first time I started to run, I fell flat on my face. Thank heavens no one was there to witness it. If I were you I would run in an area where there are less people to start but if that isn't possible, put your ipod on and block out all the outside noise. This is for you after all. If anyone wants to judge, then that is on them and it makes them look look bad, not you who is doing something good for yourself. I live in a town where I know absolutely everyone. Almost everyone that I have run into lately is super impressed with me getting my lazy *kitten* up and off the couch to run ;) and they think I am looking great too.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    I really don't know. I haven't overcome it yet either.
  • mfp_junkie
    mfp_junkie Posts: 359
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    I have long ago learned that someone's perception of me does not change my reality. Basically, I don't give a rat's *kitten* what other people think.

    Go run. Run in public. Run like you are being chased by a pack of dogs. Run. You'll be ahead of 300 million North American's that are on the couch, eating chips.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    All I know is that before I started running I looked at runners with envy, wishing I could do it. Now I run myself, I look at other runners in cameraderie.
  • Sox90716
    Sox90716 Posts: 976 Member
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    Just do it!
  • Cheval13
    Cheval13 Posts: 392 Member
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    It is a little nervous making, but you need to realize that people will be caught up in their own lives as much as you are in yours. Also, unless it is a particularly dangerous neighborhood, running with the traffic (rather than against as many running profis suggest) may mitigate your fears of staring at people head-on.
    Also, also if you're out there, doing a good thing for your body, people will respect that...
    Also also, (also), you probably don't have any super embarrassing things to worry about, like exercise induced weak-bladder, so I think you're fine. Even though I have it, I've learned to just see it as a side-effect of working hard. I think that deserves respect and knowing I made it out there makes me feel confident in itself.
    After a while you will see that it's all about you, but in a good way. :)
  • HMVOL7409
    HMVOL7409 Posts: 1,588 Member
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    One thing I read a while ago: people don't make fun of people running. I think once you start you'll realize there's nothing wrong with YOU running in public and you'll do it more. Start out running early or late in the day. Your confidence will grow and then you won't care when/where you run! :D


    This. Before I started running, I always hated it bc I didn't think I could do it. I never judged people I saw running instead I always said "Man, I wish I had the stamina to run like that". It's about you, no one else. You never know that by stepping out the door and doing it you could inspire someone else. Also when you run outside you will soon realize you don't think about anyone or anything bc it's the perfect opportunity to clear your head or the craptastic day you may have had.
  • LMcNeal86
    LMcNeal86 Posts: 7 Member
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    :wink: Lots of great advice here - I think you can only really begin to get over your fear of running in public by doing it sadly. But should it help, there are CLEARLY lots of people who feel the same as you. I am very much using the same excuses to not run in my local gorgeous park at present but I know the only person I am letting down is myself.

    One tip I have is perhaps to have someone to run with? At least initally? When I was living in the UK I was a member of a running club and though everyone there was super fit and fast, they really encouraged slow beginners and after a few months running with them, I felt a million times fitter and faster. Is there something similar in your neighbourhood?

    We could force each other to go out "together" and report back? Bet you could start a "running club" of sorts on here where everyone can vent and laugh and say how they felt, especially those of us who are beetroot red in seconds and barely overtaking the walkers!

    Should it help, last week a friend and I decided to try some interval training and on the speed bits my t-shirt kept riding up to expose my very flabby wobbly belly. Took me a while to notice cos to be honest I was enjoying the sudden air-i-ness and of course once I did I realised I was exposing myself to a group of teenagers, sitting around drinking and looking youthful and fit. I was mortified of course but my friend (who is brutally honest) said that I wasn't wobbling all over the place and actually looked in better shape when flashing people!!!

    And finally, when I see a runner no matter how fast or slow they are going I ALWAYS think "well done them, they are putting me to shame" so remember that is what nearly everyone will be thinking when they see you flying past

    I agree with this post - I really believe you can only get over the fear of anything by doing it. I was afraid of flying, so I went on trips that required air travel. The first several I was gripping the arms of the chairs like it was going to save me when we went down. After years of traveling I am not even paying attention when we take off.

    The reason I use this example is that it is the same whether it is running in public or some other fear. If it helps as you're running make up positive things that they may be saying to you. If someone is looking at you, think that they're saying... wow, she's hot or wow, she's doing great I wish I could do that well. :) It's really hard to change the negative thinking; but, you can do it by replacing it with positive thought or ignoring them....

    I know when I see anyone running, especially larger people, I think to myself...they are doing great! keep on going, keep on going!!! :happy:

    Definitely get out and run...but, be careful of the running where no people are or in the dark as it can be dangerous. It's actually safer to run where a lot of other people are...just something to think about.
    Have fun and get out there!
  • Kari089
    Kari089 Posts: 126 Member
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    So when I started running/ walking it was thru a upscale housing area, it is just up the hill from where I live. And I shortly realized that the fire crew ran here too. I was mortified, I was far from adorable at 215 red faced and panting. But I keep it up, because it was working, and I ran into the fire crew( who I was sure was judging me) once in a great while. Months went by, and the fire captin stopped me in the groceries store one day( small town, gotta love it). To tell me what a great job I'm doing.

    Moral of the story, most the time we are the only ones judging ourselfs, most people want to see others succeed. Don't worry so much. Go run have fun, it works!

    exactly! I got over it..learned to love being outdoors and dont give a hoot what other people think or not about me. In fact if they stare at me I stare right back and grin..lol they turn away fast! I also had a few people tell me how great I am doing..it was really awesome to hear that! We are all people and in the end you are working to get fit and healthy..this is about you and no one else.
  • DFWTT
    DFWTT Posts: 374
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    To be honest, rarely does anyone notice you. After LOTS and LOTS of street running, I can tell you that you will end up becoming more judgmental of those zooming by. 95% of people are in their own world and/or too self-centered to care. They will swerve into you because they don't see you or daydreaming while putting on make-up. The rest are either envious or jealous <<<---Read sucking down junk food. You are far more likely to pay attention to the cars rolling by for safety purposes than they are to notice you. Best way I can put it.....WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DISTINCTLY REMEMBERED SOMETHING ON A BILLBOARD LONGER THAN A COUPLE OF MINUTES? We are our own worst critic.

    Example: I did 13 miles last Sunday and not one whistle, yell, or even horn honk. I actually felt a little cheated as I was wearing one of my confidence outfits and even threw on the uber looks like I know what I'm doing black compression sleeves.
  • jhungate
    jhungate Posts: 95 Member
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    I started with the Couch to 5k program and now I would consider myself a "serious" runner (I run around 50 miles a week, have run 10-12 5Ks, a 7.5K, a couple of 10Ks, a half marathon and am training for a marathon in July), I mention this not to brag but hopefully give some credibality to my post.

    I have lost 128 pounds and running has been a big part of my success). What I would tell you is the running community is the most non-judgemental group of people I have associated with, no runner will think less of you because you still have some pounds to lose, you are slower or whatever. You will have their admiration because you are out there, taking control and doing something about your health. As you see the pounds melt away, as you become more toned, as you increase your distance and decrease your times, the confidence will come, I promise you. Good luck!
  • bexx03
    bexx03 Posts: 32
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    I used to be like that, still am really. I still manage to run at least 3 times a week though. I just make sure I feel comfortable with what i'm wearing, I only run in the evenings when there's less people about, try to think about all the other people you see running and realise you aren't any different (not in a horrible way) you are just another runner, no one really pays attention to you like you think they do. Also think about all the compliments you'll get from running, who cares if some idiots do think negative things about you running, you don't know them and they aren't worth your time. Once you get the guts to do your first run they just get easier and easier and the more comfortable you feel with the running the more comfortable you'll feel about doing it in public :). Good luck with your running.
  • PJ64
    PJ64 Posts: 866 Member
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    It's like jumping in the pool for the first time, you just have to do it!

    I had the same issue. I had been in shape all my life. In th military I ran 5 & 10K's. I got in an accident and gained 45lbs, I was so ashamed that I wouldn't even go to the gym, which is CRAZY because the gym is for getting in shape, but in my EGO filled brain I needed to be n shape to go. I worked out at home and then decided to add running so I did the "couch to 5 K" program and decided I would not give a damn what people thought, I just went and did it and you know what?........................the world didn't end nobody stopped and stared and if they laughed I didn't know because I wear headphones :)
  • Nikstergirl
    Nikstergirl Posts: 1,549 Member
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    Before I started running I always loved watching the runners around my town. There's a pretty large running community here but I didn't realize how large until I became a runner. Slowly but surely I left my safe little neighborhood and ventured out into town and realized that even if I'm not as fit as the rest, I'm doing better than ever and I have a lot of reasons to be proud! I used to think that runner's were judgemental and stuck-up. Boy was I wrong!!!! Runner's (the one's I've met) are the most supportive and awesome people on earth!!! Why? Because we run!!!! We are happier people than most, I'd say, and we will NOT judge another runner, especially one who is new and struggling. Joe Blow on the street may judge you as he drives through McD's with a double quarter pounder and a heart attack's worth of fries, but who gives a crap... you're WAY better off than he is anyway!! Heck, maybe you'll inspire HIM to do something about his lifestyle? Ok, that's doubtful, but it could happen.

    What I'm saying is this... run. Get out there, find a new route, enjoy the flowers and trees and birds (watch out for those squirrels) and breathe the fresh air. Run. Run because you know you should, but run because you like how you feel and how it helps you gain control of your body. Just run.
  • mcleodconnor
    mcleodconnor Posts: 70
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    I don't worry about it. I bike to work in spanx, I couldn't care less what those morons think. I am feel comfortable riding to work and I feel comfortable walking into that building until I change.

    If they don't like it, don't look :happy:

    I notice its usually the ones wolfing down a MC Breakfast sandwich that don't give the right of way or give me a dirty look...whatever, I just smile and ride. :tongue:

    ^This!

    I totally agree with this man. If they don't like it, they don't have to look c:
  • ChelseaM18
    ChelseaM18 Posts: 303
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    I hate seeing people also when I'm out running and red-faced etc, but I either go in the evening when it's a bit darker or just think those people will never remember your face or you. How many random people do you remember ever seeing?

    Good Luck :)
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    I'm lucky enough to have country lanes near me where I can run. I did a 6 mile run\walk\run\walk the other day, felt conscious as there were lots of fit runners about and I'm certainly not fit, weigh 245lbs and have social phobia. I put rihanna on full blast and kept going, by the end my polar hrm showed I'd burnt 1400 calories, and the adrenaline rush was amazing, I felt so happy and so energetic that I came home and cleaned the whole house. I loved the feeling so much and now can't wait to get out again! You may have a bit of legs\ankle\feet pain at first but apparantly it gets easier! X
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what I can do to get over this confidence issue about running in public !!

    - it sounds stupid i know...

    the only place to go running near me is on main roads and streets, ive managed to lose about 18-20 pounds so far without running but i've been stuck on this plateau now for 6 months:3
    I now realise I need to go running.
    I like running just hate doing it in public (my only option)

    thank you in advance!! :D

    I used to train on the treadmill indoors, then I did a 5k race which, of course, was outside with lots of other people. Anyway, I ran the race, came home and I realized I had enjoyed it so much, that I was going to run outside during training.

    So the next morning, I stuck on my i-pod, put the earphones on and ventured outside, I ran slowly, listening to my music and honestly, other people around me did not even cross my mind because I concentrated on the music and my pacing.

    Now I train outside ALL the time, I only run every other day, but I adore it.

    We are all fortunate in that our brains can only consciously do one thing at a time, that is, for instance, you cannot concentrate on music and listen to a conversation, taking everything in at the same time - well the same goes in this instance, if you concentrate on your running - REALLY concentrate on it - other people going about their daily business will not affect you because you will barely notice they are there, you will be too busy concentrating on your pace or listening to music or counting your running steps etc.

    I seriously think that this is one of the reasons that the C25K program seems to work for so many people, they HAVE to concentrate on what it is telling them to do, rather than fretting about things happening around them.

    One running session outside, force yourself, you will then become addicted and it is one of the best addictions IMO - it is so therapeutic, it is a miracle!
  • MThornburg74
    MThornburg74 Posts: 41
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    What a great discussion! I had the same issue. I went from being a very fit college athlete (a VERY long time ago) to being a Mom of 2 children (beautiful little girls, I might add!) that works full-time and keeps a house and has a life...and lost myself to my weight.

    I made the decision to just get going and got out there and started. I could barely go 30 feet without feeling like I was going to die and was embarrassed that I used to be able to run 10 miles and now I could barely manage 10 feet. Gradually over a number of weeks, it got better and crosstraining on other cardio machines helped me build endurance and I started gaining my confidence back.

    I am 6'3" tall and NOT in shape...not skinny....not beautiful...YET. So I pretty much stick out and am very noticeable at my height. I kept going though, and still do every day...because I made the commitment to find me again somewhere under all this fat and to be a good example for my girls. You will find that, too. I am proud of your effort and the efforts of the rest of us on here! We are doing something to make a difference for ourselves and in whatever context...that is honorable. Good luck! :wink:
  • daisyhougan
    daisyhougan Posts: 52
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    I've completely feel the same way! Particularly with my family because they are all skinny fit bouncy runner type people whose idea of a good time is to run races including super-long distance ones and they run fast. Sigh, I apparently take after my grandparents who struggled with weight and health issues.
    But I decided to start running too although I won't with them because I just want to do it at my own pace without having to worry about anybody else. I tried to do it at times that I felt like I wouldn't be noticed as much.
    But I usally seem to end up having to run where people can see me and with super athletic people. And it turns out they're not paying much attention to me except in a nice way! The only comments I've gotten were things like, "I saw you running, good for you!" Or "Keep going, you're doing a great job, don't give up!"
    Of course, I don't necessarily know what they're thinking but it made me feel better to think that people aren't as negatively judgemental as I feared. They see me taking actions to be positive about my health and are supportive. Apparently people like to support peole who are making positve choices.

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