The Thin Treatment

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  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
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    This thread strayed pretty far from the original question...kinda mind-numbing. Anyway, my contribution is "yes, I have noticed this phenomenon" & it actually created some internal conflict for me. Having been >300 lbs for many years I became invisible (the alternative was being ridiculed) & it wasn't until I had shed a good 60 lbs that I noticed changes in the way I was treated in public. Men made eye contact more often & it wasn't until that happened that I realized I purposely avoided it. Guys opened doors, all that kind of stuff others mentioned. I haven't noticed any particular change in how women behave towards me, but I'm still overweight so I guess I haven't reached Hate-able status just yet.

    The conflict came from thinking "ok you're flirting with me now, but you never would have 60 lbs ago, you *kitten*" every time I got a little attention, & I felt resentful because I'm still the same person. Yes, more confident & secure, but basically the same person. This was bothering me a lot, every time I noticed it. Eventually I had to accept that yeah it's fcked up that I get treated differently now but it is what it is. Can't change society.
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
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    Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

    I'd say "I'll get the popcorn!" while watching you guys yell at each other
    but then you'd be like "OMFG ONLY FATTIES EAT POPCORN!"
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Well at least some people understand I was just being honest. I love how just about everyone who read what I said as awful turned to a personal attack on me. As if I care. I am here to lose weight, holy crap there is a revelation. I never consider someone a bad person because they are unhealthy, I just don't find it attractive. I am honest with myself and the people around me. But hey, if you need the daily troll hate target. Go ahead and fire away.

    Wow.....can I squeeze your boobies?

    No? Drat!!!:sad:
  • illuminatusObservor
    illuminatusObservor Posts: 104
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    I agree though, when I was 145 I was treated pretty sh!tty by my peers, but now at 120 I get a lot more positive attention. Guys treat me the same, but now I get that attention from more attractive looking guys ^-^

    More reason to be active and healthy right?
  • weightloss12345678
    weightloss12345678 Posts: 377 Member
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    If everyone on this thread wants to pretend that "beautiful ppl with nice bodies" does not get any special treatment ......just keep dreaming bc as humans we are attracted to the physical and thats just a fact of our genetics lol which results in this "special treatment"
  • Cara930
    Cara930 Posts: 8 Member
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    ..
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

    I'd say "I'll get the popcorn!" while watching you guys yell at each other
    but then you'd be like "OMFG ONLY FATTIES EAT POPCORN!"

    This is the best
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
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    If everyone on this thread wants to pretend that "beautiful ppl with nice bodies" does not get any special treatment ......just keep dreaming bc as humans were are attracted to the physical and thats just a fact of our genetics lol

    Thinner people... and smart people, people who dress well or smile a lot, pretty people, funny people... there are a huge amount of traits that we value in other people. We are always going to be nicer to those that have those traits we value most.
  • kmel2479
    kmel2479 Posts: 102 Member
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    I saw a thread a while back of women complaining about guys honking at them and whistling as they went down the street when she bent over, or just because.

    That has NEVER happened to me.

    If it does, I'm probably going to be shocked and confused. But flattered.

    When it starts happening after being overweight for a long time it kind of feels like they're making fun of you haha.

    Very true! Haha!
  • theladyy
    theladyy Posts: 176
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    How about the whistles and cat calls BECAUSE you're fat? And not from guys who like fat chicks either...just the ones doing it to tease you. Happened a lot in school, but a few times in public as well. Ever been 'hit on' as a joke? It's way more embarrassing than if they would've just called me fat. It's always been my experience that if a woman is big, she ceases to be a 'woman' and is just a thing that breathes, even by morbidly obese men.

    Peter Griffin said it best..."Men aren't fat, only fat women are fat." It might be from a cartoon, but I've never heard anything truer.

    Edited to add: I've never been thin, so I don't know how thin people are treated...however, I do see people being nicer to thin people on a daily basis.
  • BuckeyeLife
    BuckeyeLife Posts: 313 Member
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    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

    I have a friend that belongs to a BBW appreciation group that has nothing but mad love and respect for the BBW ladies out there. Just because it's not what turns YOUR crank, doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshat and bash. This is the wrong place for that!

    Honestly, the OP asked for opinions and he gave it. God forbid someone be honest about something on this site. Sure, he could have done it with a little more tact, but he was honest. And to be realistic, the majority of the general public would choose a thinner person over an overweight person. And from a super quick Google search of "BBW" it seems more of a fetish.

    This thread was about how YOU get treated at different weights, not what kind of people you're attracted to. If you're not attracted to overweight people, that's totally fine, but there's really no need to state that (and in such a rude way) on this thread. It really was just unnecessary, unless he is talking about how he treats overweight people (which I hope is not the case). If it is the case, then...yeah, that's pretty terrible.

    First person to even catch it. I meant to say I am less likely to say hi/approach people I felt were unattractive. I also never get looks from girls, and I am sure my weight had to do with it. Luckily I had other qualities to offer to overcome that. Doesnt mean I an going to be treated any different than how I look. I've accepted that and am back to improving my exterior.
  • MonkeyFlower
    MonkeyFlower Posts: 92 Member
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    Its almost impossible not to treat people differently based on the way they look and make assumptions…if someone is rocking a super fit, toned body (not overweight but not underweight either) you can assume that they are working dam hard for that body so must have a certain amount of self discipline and motivation to eat right and exercise regularly…traits which I for one find attractive. And I am in no way saying that overweight or underweight people don’t have those qualities but in a real world I can see how people who are perceived as healthy and at a healthy weight get more attention.

    I for one find 6-pacs very attractive on a man…and part of this comes from knowing how hard my husband has to work to get his :happy:

    *Edited to say attractiveness is subjective and everyone no matter their size or appearance deserves to be treated with kindness and weather or not you find them more or less attractive.
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
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    I saw a thread a while back of women complaining about guys honking at them and whistling as they went down the street when she bent over, or just because.

    That has NEVER happened to me.

    If it does, I'm probably going to be shocked and confused. But flattered.

    When it starts happening after being overweight for a long time it kind of feels like they're making fun of you haha.

    Very true! Haha!

    That's probably what I will think when it happens. Til my husband inevitably slaps my butt, and then I'll think, ohhhhhhhhhh
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Fat chicks are not attractive. I also don't find sickly skinny chicks attractive either, but I'd take that over an over weight woman. But I'd pass on both options really. What you look like on the outside is a VERY quick read for how your brain works and I can quickly assess traits I am not interested in.

    I have a friend that belongs to a BBW appreciation group that has nothing but mad love and respect for the BBW ladies out there. Just because it's not what turns YOUR crank, doesn't mean you get to be a complete asshat and bash. This is the wrong place for that!

    Honestly, the OP asked for opinions and he gave it. God forbid someone be honest about something on this site. Sure, he could have done it with a little more tact, but he was honest. And to be realistic, the majority of the general public would choose a thinner person over an overweight person. And from a super quick Google search of "BBW" it seems more of a fetish.

    This thread was about how YOU get treated at different weights, not what kind of people you're attracted to. If you're not attracted to overweight people, that's totally fine, but there's really no need to state that (and in such a rude way) on this thread. It really was just unnecessary, unless he is talking about how he treats overweight people (which I hope is not the case). If it is the case, then...yeah, that's pretty terrible.

    First person to even catch it. I meant to say I am less likely to say hi/approach people I felt were unattractive. I also never get looks from girls, and I am sure my weight had to do with it. Luckily I had other qualities to offer to overcome that. Doesnt mean I an going to be treated any different than how I look. I've accepted that and am back to improving my exterior.

    Not the first person to catch it - which is why you got so much grief for what you said (and mainly how you said it).
  • prism6
    prism6 Posts: 484 Member
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    to Jallen1955........ DAM
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
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    When I was at my heaviest (mind you I work in a male dominant field) the men would so totally treat me different. I have had doors slammed in my face, etc.

    Now that I am thinner, they hold doors open and treat me omg like a person.

    I was the same person that I am today just a different shaped wrapper.
  • sig1238
    sig1238 Posts: 16
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    Does it really matter what other people think? Hang out with the angels. Ditch the creeps. There are plenty of both to go around. Life is too short to figure out why people do the crazy things they do.
  • xbekkiex
    xbekkiex Posts: 30
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    In general I've never felt like I have been treated differently, though I avoid a lot more situations now that I'm heavier (going out to clubs, etc... and always just use the excuse that I have a young one... though my husband would be more than happy to watch him while I have a night out)

    I remember when I was a size 14 - I've always had large hips and a booty... so even at my goal of 170lbs that's as small as I'm getting - and this young woman said to her co-worker 'my boyfriend would dump me if I was a size 14' I had never felt worse... until....

    one of my co-workers told me that the reason one of the ladies in my office talks to me more than the other admin, is because I'm 'safe' and that she just doesn't like cute little things... I bit my tongue and had just wanted to say 'well thank gosh I'm so frumpy, because otherwise how would we ever assist her' I think she likes me better because I'm more personable and likable... but I went home almost in tears that night because I have been working my @$$ off in boot camp and was finally starting to feel good about myself again.

    I have never treated anyone differently, unless they treat me differently. I know overweight people who treat skinny people horribly - especially women - saying they aren't real women because they're thin... etc... it goes both ways and it hurts people... a little empathy, and a nice smile go a long way.

    as a side note... in a place where we're all just trying to become healthier people, it's unfortunate to see things deteriorate in to insults and bashing...
  • Steven
    Steven Posts: 593 MFP Moderator
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    Sorry, Folks.

    Can we try again in a new thread?

    Unfortunately, by the time I got to moderate this thread about 75% of the responses were back and forth attacks due to a thread very early in the post.

    Happy to have this discussion on the boards, but I can't justify spending the time to delete the majority of this thread.

    Sorry,
    Steven
    MyFitnessPal Staff
This discussion has been closed.

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