Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED
Replies
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Good news:
About 20 of that is the baby and water weight.
Better news:
Breastfeeding exclusively burns 500 calories per day, and allows you to very easily lose weight from hips/thighs, which is normally damn near impossible for women to do (the reason your body stores weight there is to provide fat for breast milk).
Best news:
Having a baby is awesome.
Bad news:
You will seriously not sleep for like 2 months (I have a 1 month-old now ;P)0 -
What does your professional care team say about you becoming pregnant at this time?
This.
This is really the only one that matters. We don't know you or your medical situation like your medical team does. We cannot judge you nor can we advise you.
Every woman gains pregnancy weight differently and no two pregnancies are the same. I highly suggest you talk to your medical team about your concerns and what you can do to be in the place you need to be to carry a child to term.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.0 -
I had a mentally hard time with gaining weight but I realized that the weight I would gain is necessary! It needs to happen to ensure you have a healthy child. It's worth it! You can always loose weight...but you only have 40 weeks to produce a healthy child! If you cannot come to terms with this and be at peace then you should not get pregnant. Thisis a new human and your child... If you arent willing to gain a measly 15 to 25 pounds then you should not have them:-/0
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Wait to start your family. Issues like yours have to much potential to harm any child you try to carry. Now seems like a good time for you to focus on YOU, then when you have that settled you can start focusing on little ones
Believe me when I say nothing gets easier when kids are involved. All it does is add more guilt and pain to any issue you haven't already resolved. Get the help you need first.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
It's funny because NONE of those things happened to me... Except got the slight weight gain. So no, all that doesn't happen to evey woman.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
It's funny because NONE of those things happened to me... Except got the slight weight gain. So no, all that doesn't happen to evey woman.
^^^^Ditto. Where are you getting this info from??0 -
Weight gain is different per woman. I am 160cm and weighed about 57kg before I was pregnant. With both my pregnancies I only put on 3kg... Keeping in mind my boy was 3.5kg and my girl was 2.9kg at birth..
So especially with my son, after I gave birth I actually weighed LESS then before I was pregnant (about 4kgs!). I never had morning sickness or anything like that. I ate well with both pregnancies.
Everyone is different. ;-) There is no need for you to put on 10-20 pounds. Also this nonsense of eating for 2, is literally nonsense. Sure you need to eat extra, but its something like 200 calories extra per day. So not a lot.
Good luck with TTC - its a special time and even more so the pregnancy and then birth and then your baby... ;-)0 -
I would just like to add that being pregnant and having kids is the most SERIOUS, IMPORTANT thing you can ever do in your life. You are 100% responsible for that baby, so you need to be 120% ready to have a child before you do. I would think your ED would need to be under control for a year or more before you even considered trying.
xxx0 -
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
Most of that weight gain will be baby, placenta, and fluid. You have to allow for 300 extra calories a day once you hit your second trimester in order for the baby to grow and accumulate something called brown fat which is neccesary for survival outside the womb. If you think about it 300 extra calories isn't really that much extra, and once you give birth the weight will come off especially if you breast feed.0 -
From what I've heard you really only need to gain 10 or so lbs (beyond what the baby and parts that support it weigh of course). The old "eating for two," "eat whatever you want," and "it's ok to get fat" are rather outdated I think. Keep exercising (find out exactly what you can do safely) throughout your whole pregnancy if you can, that makes it much easier to stay in shape physically in addition to keeping the habit. And try not to give in to your cravings, they're not about nourishing the baby, they're just about hormones making you want to stuff your face, like when you crave chocolate on your period. Find out from your doctor or elsewhere exactly what/how much you really need to eat, and then triple your will power not to munch on ice cream-covered french fries.
there are exceptions to the above of course and if you're on bed rest or have any special considerations they should come first of course.0 -
As silly as it sounds, I did a report on exercing during pregnancy. I do not have children but my advice to you would be to don't be afraid to work out. Working out will help a lot with not gaining excess wieght and actually helps reduced the time of labor by 1/3. And women are supposed to consume more calories, but one extra 8 oz glass of milk a day will be significant amount of calories. HOpes this helps!0
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Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
YOU ARE NOT READY TO HAVE A CHILD!! simple. Get help and control first and then think about having a family.
dial it back, pal. I think a lot of people feel this way, to a degree, but we all don't admit it in public for fear we'll be SCREAMED AT.
Why does everyone get so screamy and entitled when other people's babies are involved?0 -
You need help from professionals, not from the internet.
You're entering the phase of your life where you're going to have a few children. Get help with your ED first.0 -
You need help from professionals, not from the internet.
You're entering the phase of your life where you're going to have a few children. Get help with your ED first.
Which she is. Read the rest of the thread.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
What the hell are you on about LOL!
Where on earth have you heard such rubbish?
Peeing oneself all the time, soiling yourself, hair falling out..... bloody hell........
To anybody who is alarmed at the above, that is not a normal life of a woman during pregnancy.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
What the hell are you on about LOL!
Where on earth have you heard such rubbish?
Peeing oneself all the time, soiling yourself, hair falling out..... bloody hell........
To anybody who is alarmed at the above, that is not a normal life of a woman during pregnancy.
I witnessed this first hand.0 -
Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.
Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.
this. Dude, you really need to work on yourself right right now. Get healthy for yourself now, so you can help your child when the time comes.0 -
Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.
Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.
Echoed.0 -
My mother had an eating disorder when she had me and my sister. We both had health problems and pretty malnourished when we were born.
Don't be afraid of gaining weight. You are only eating +100 calories more per day in the first trimester. Then +300calories in the second trimester. No big deal.0 -
Would it help to know that most of the weight gain isn't from fat. Most it of it is from the baby itself, the placenta etc and then 5 to 10 lbs of fat which is to help with milk production when the baby is born.
this is what i was going to say! most of it is from the baby itself and extra blood and everything. just know that the weight gain is temporary and for the benefit of having a healthy baby!0 -
Hi there, I'm currently pregnant. I worried about weight gain before I got pregnant, but when I decided I was ready, my mind set completely changed. I got pregnant and my whole world is about being healthy for the baby. I eat when ever I'm hungry and I eat healthy. I no longer care about the weight gain because I know that after I have the baby I could continue my journey for weight loss.
I am glad you are getting help and you are making progress with your ED. My suggestion is that you should wait to get pregnant because you have to be completely ready for weight gain and you need to be okay with that because if you have a relapse and continue to purge or not eat enough, there could be long term health or physical issues for your baby.
I think you are doing a good job getting your life back in control and you should keep doing just that for a little while longer. 20-25 lbs is a healthy weight gain for pregnancy. You have to be okay with that and the possibility that you may gain more than that as many of my friends have.
Keep working on it and when you are okay with weight gain, then you are ready for a child. I hope this helps...I wish you the best of luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.0 -
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.
It can get bit nasty on these boards but mostly helpful!
I haven't replied in this thread before, I don't have kids myself, it's a scary thing for me to think about too in regards to weight gain, but just wanted to say I wish you the best of luck for the future. I hope one day you and your partner can have a child and you will be happy and healthy!! 0 -
i just had a baby two months ago. you gain some during the pregnancy but you will lose most if not all of iy very very fast. especially if you breastfeed. 90% of the weight you gain is all baby. however its extremelly dangerous to try and get pregnant if you have an ED because the baby will be using up stores your body currently has and you can become anemic and get gestesational diabetes.. not to mention its dangerous to your babies health too.wait until you are completely healthy and can keep down at least 1500 calories a day!!0
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This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.
for future knowledge .... if these boards are harsh (yes, they are at times) - STAY AWAY from pregnancy/ parenting ones! I get nervous shakes just THINKING about those!
OMG - thats a whole beast unto which i would not wish my worst enemy.
well, maybe my WORST enemy
take care of you, first and foremost. 0 -
I gained about 30 fat pounds during my pregnancy with twins ( 70 pounds including babies and fluids). Then I put on an extra 45 pounds to put me at 245 pounds after a year of exhaustion and mild post partem. It was VERY depressing to think about at first, but then I realized that I would willingly cut off my own arm for those kids, so what's a little weight gain? Sure it sucks having to lose it, but oh well. Once you look at their little faces it's all worth it.
Just remember it doesn't always go the way you want, and you can't help that. I had twins and had to be on bed rest for 6 months. After that the hormone surges and PPD were insane and I lost control with food and started craving the crappiest of all crap foods. Add the exhaustion of caring for 2 newborns by myself, I don't think the outcome could have been any different. Just remember there is a time for YOU and it isn't necessarily when baby is tiny. You can take time to lose the weight and just focus on your little one for a while.0 -
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.
Please let me clarify my thoughts on this. When I hear a friend say they are discussing having children, it usually means they are currently trying or will start trying to conceive imminently. I personally think that is why some people here responded as they did, thinking that you are purging and trying to conceive now. I think that is why people were asking you to wait....0 -
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.
I'm incredibly sorry that people were so rude to you. Having a child while having an ED is something people shouldn't comment on unless they've experienced it. I have also been called a selfish and irresponsible mother on these forums for my battle with anorexia. I've been that people feel sorry for my child and that I'm incredibly selfish because I'm going to die and leave him without a parent. I ignore those, they have no idea what it's like. I hope you found my reply helpful and please feel free to message me x0 -
My cousin felt the same way about gaining weight. Her baby made it about 7 months into the pregancy before dying. Please wait till you are completely healthy!! Please?
exactly what i was going to say.
if it is even possible to concieve. http://www.fertilityfactor.com/infertility_female_infertility_eating_disorders.html
alsooooo
Getting pregnant while suffering from an eating disorder increases the risk of:
•Gestational diabetes
•Preeclampsia
•Labor complications
•Needing a c-section
•Postpartum Depression (bulimics are especially vulnerable to this)
•Infant death within the first month after birth
•Baby being born with a low birth weight
•Jaundice
•Low APGAR scores
•Low amniotic fluid
•Placental separation
•Birth defects, especially blindness and mental retardation
i work in a childcare center in a college and can see some of the effects that things have on children. life altering effects.0
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