Successful showoffs??Sick and tired of this.

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  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
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    Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

    I find it a little weird when I get a friend request without any accompanying message. If you want to be my online friend, at least say hi first. If it's a name I see on the forums I may accept their friend request without a message, but I generally decline without a message. What's the point of an online friend if they don't communicate?

    As for being rude.....well, a lot of people are rude and inconsiderate in real life. Throw in that these forums are basically anonymous and it seems to let people feel they can say whatever they want without consequence. Sarcasm doesn't come across well in the written word, and people end up taking something that was meant humorously as very literal. You also get a lot of "this way worked for me so it must be the only right way" opinions. With so much bad information floating around and so many different right ways, that leads to a lot of arguments.

    It's also a little irritating when every couple of days you see a new thread pop up asking the same old question. Irritating only in that people pose the question seemingly without having tried searching first. I will try to help whoever I can, but I don't feel bad in expecting someone do some homework for themselves. To make MFP really work, it takes personal accountability.
  • HMVOL7409
    HMVOL7409 Posts: 1,588 Member
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    I am sorry you feel this way. I love helping people and encouraging people as much as I can. I don't always have the time but I've made every attempt to respond to messages as best as I can. I post my success on my personal profile bc it's away for me to journal what I've accomplished bc I can be my worst critic and I am in the process of changing that so it helps me stay positive. I would say I've encountered some rudeness but only on threads that there's quite a difference of opinion. Some aren't tactful in the how they state it. There are many supportive members who've helped me and I enjoy my FL even if we have different goals.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Haven't run across this issue myself.

    Me too.

    I'm sorry that you have to undergo that experience but sometimes people have other reasons why they decline friend request & its not because they think they don't need any new friends. I don't decline any friend requests & neither can't see why I should do it but anyway I respect the decisions of those people who would rather have a very few friend list. But there are a lot of people here who are supportive & are glad to have you as a friend. Although I already reached my goal weight but I don't really consider myself a successful yet & I feel that I can still improve my body more.

    You can add me if you like :flowerforyou:
  • soulynyc
    soulynyc Posts: 302 Member
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    i haven't had this issue.. negative. :(
  • luvinmefirst
    luvinmefirst Posts: 160 Member
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    I have experienced the same thing here on MFP and vow to not be like these individuals once I get to my goal. However, have met a lot of A W E S O M E people as well :)
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I've lost a lot, not yet to my goal but I never reject a friend request. I don't understand a lot of it either. Not all of the successful people here are like that :) there are a few of us that are nice and willing to try and help others out. I do show off my progress a lot, and I do it because I'm proud of me. I never thought I could ever do it till I started doing it.

    I hate rejecting FR's. It makes me feel bad they are reaching out and I turn them away. I did one time by accident and I felt bad about it. I messaged the person right away and they laughed and accepted my FR. For the longest time I never deleted people either. The number of friends started getting outta control so I had to start making cuts. It's usually the people who have not logged on in over 1 month. I also try and be supportive as much as I can with any advice or questions people have but it's difficult with my strange hours. I am active but mainly during the night and then during the day I'll be asleep and miss out on a lot of peeps. As for showing off abs or something, lol. Nah too embarassed to probably ever have a shirtless pic on here. :embarassed:

    As for the arrogant successful people the OP talks about? I haven't really noticed it.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

    Ummm, how about because they are? Whether it was 5 lbs or 300 lbs, struggling with the mental and physical issues that come with excess weight is a huge challenge and if one reaches their goal; they've accomplished a huge feat in life by working hard and they DESERVE to flaunt it! Not only that, but for many here, it serves as encouragement, motivation, and help on our own journey.

    As far as ignoring someone for help or declining request or being "rude", there could be a million reasons for it. MFP has many glitches; they've been fixing a ton of them all weekend. I can't tell you how many times I get a friend request or an e-mail that doesn't show up for days. Or, someone comments on my feed and I don't get notified of it right away and it's weeks later before I see it. At this very moment, I have a friend request that I've approved 4 times and yet I still have the notification bar pop up telling me that I have a friend request; it seems to be stuck in some kind of MFP friend limbo.

    And some people just don't want to add any ole internet stranger to their friends list either; imagine wanting to get to know someone a little better before just letting them be your "friend." Now that's real uppity; the nerve! Good grief...please someone tell me that this topic doesn't really exist and that I'm delirious from too low a carb intake. BTW...should I be eating back my exercise calories? :laugh:
    Seriously your arrogance is the number one reason that this topic was posted. Get off your high horse.

    Really? Really? - There was absolutely nothing arrogant about that post.

    - Why shouldn't people post pictues of their abs - they work damn hard for them
    - I find the folks that are successful are incredibly helpful and motivating
    - why should someone accept FRs if they do not want to. For example, I will not accept a FR if I do not believe we have aligned goals and will delete if I find out later we do not. I want to be able to support my friends and vice versa - not just collect them
    - I am sure the folks with the success stories have a load of FRs and PMs a day - they do have jobs and lives to live and are not responsible for anyone elses success

    You really need to not take these things so personally as they are not about you
  • LynC33
    LynC33 Posts: 196
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    They feel like they are so much better than everyone else.

    How do you know what they feel? Dont assume the worst. They may be busy, be running around after kids, working etc...you dont know that they are ignoring you. And why shouldnt they flaunt it? They may have spent most of their adult lives being picked on and ridiculed for their weight and are extremely proud of their achievement. I personally dont like to put up pics of myself, but bravo to those that are confident enough to.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
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    The ones that get to me are the ones lacking common sense. "I am thirsty, what should I do?"

    My nose itches, what should I do?
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I deny lots of FRs, especially without messages. Even after I accept, I feel it out to see if we are compatible as friends. I just don't click with some people, and I wish them the best of luck finding people they DO click with.

    I am done with my "weight loss" but I still have fitness goals to work on (running, heavy lifting), and I log mostly to make sure I hit my protein macros.

    I don't have time to keep up with everyone I have, as it is, as much as I <3 them all.
    I always respond to messages (just not immediately).

    That said, I worked my booty off for almost a year now on this site, and I intend to keep working, but in the meantime, I will definitely "show off" what I've got. I've had 4 people from IRL tell me I "inspired them," and I hope my hard work would inspire people, not make them feel sad about where they are in their journey.
  • Sneakypeek1972
    Sneakypeek1972 Posts: 91
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    Why are there so many people on here that have lost weight, and succeeded, who act like they are big shots? They feel like they are so much better than everyone else. They decline friend requests, they're so rude, and when you ask them questions for help they ignore you. I am so sick and tired of these show-offs. Congratulations for your success, but seriously stop acting like you can step all over everyone else. If i ever reach my goal, I will make sure to help out anyone that needs me, but I cant say the same for everyone else.:huh:

    Yea i also noticed the ppl that have succeded dont accept friends requests ,, real weird, im also not going to be like this, once ive reached my goal, id want to keep inspiring people.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I don't understand why people get so frustrated by not using the search function. This site would be very boring if people only used the search function and read old threads. Why not just scroll past or ignore topics you are tired of reading about or with unclear subjects?
  • vanderandkarl
    vanderandkarl Posts: 89
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    i think its a personal choice to add people or not as for answering the questions thats what th forum is for x

    good luck with your journey
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

    I am writing this one down. Thanks for the post.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
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    I know exactly what the OP means. That is why I never send anyone a friend request. I'll accept it if someone sends me one because no one wants to be my friend anyway LOL. I think that some of the posts in this thread actually just prove her point. It's funny to me how some of you can't see how utterly condescending you're being. Whatever though, that's life. Some people are nice, some people aren't. There are some people here that are gems and have been SO helpful to me and there are some that have been poop heads. That's how it is everywhere, on the internet and off. Just brush off your shoulders!! :)
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
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    I feel like I am a success in the fact that I have lost 85lbs but I feel like I am still learning everyday about my body- my needs (food wise) and how to maintain it all. I still need help. I have no "this is 100% going to work this is how I did it" advise but I also have no problems with people asking me questions either because I ask them ALL THE TIME!
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
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    I decline any friend request that doesn't have a message unless I've just been chatting to that person on a thread.

    I don't see why I have to accept every request.

    I've had a bunch of people ask me questions via message, which I've spent ages responding to, and then not even had ONE person respond with "oh, thanks for your time". If you want random advice with no interaction why not ask on the forums?
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    I LOVE reading the success stories and find them immensely inspirational. Occasionally I'll fling off a friend request to a success story poster if something about their story particularly chimes with me or if I want more of an insight into their diet or workout.

    To be honest I'm not that bothered and, in fact, seldom notice if someone doesn't accept or drops me later. That's because I have a hard core of super-motivational friends who are always there supporting me, achieving their own totally awesome goals, and overcoming blips in their progress with the will of a Spartan day after day.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    Haven't run across this issue myself.

    same....


    to be honest i have lost through ALOT of hard work and all the bigger losers on here all want to help the same as me....personally! :flowerforyou:
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
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    Simple answer here is you use MyFitnessPal your way and other use it their own way, Yes, it would be lovely if user xyz answered your questions but they may have already answered 10 peoples queries that day but even if they haven't they are simply using this site in a way that suits them.

    Now the official bit...

    1. No Attacks or Insults and No Reciprocation

    a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.
    b) If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines

    Any further instances of attack will see this thread locked and/or deleted.

    Play nicely folks
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