I feel stupid but...

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245

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  • JessieArt
    JessieArt Posts: 275 Member
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    It's extremely hard, isolating and lonely. And, women can be cruel, catty biatches. It's hard to find someone nice to be friends with.
  • arojas1227
    arojas1227 Posts: 56 Member
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    I agree :(
    I thought I would make friends in college, but it's way harder than I thought. Although Feed_the_Bear has a point. There is a thing called the proximity theory that says when you spend more time with people, you are more likely to develop some kind of relationship with them.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I find, and my daughter does too, that it's easy to make superficial friends if you yourself are superficial and enjoy stabbing your "friends" in the back. Those of us that truly treasure a friendship may have a few close friends that are true friends. I would rather keep my small circle of true friends that I know I can count on. They all know they can count on me too. I lost a lot of trust in people when I realized how shallow the majority of people can be. :angry:
  • ironmom77
    ironmom77 Posts: 45
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    I have met a ton of great new friends by joining a running group. It seems like its easier to make friends as adults if you are participating in an activity that you can bond over. After runs, some of us would have drinks or dinner. We always had something to talk about: running. After a while, we discovered more things in common, and spent time together outside of running.

    Maybe you just need to find an activity you really like and join a club. Could be kick ball, knitting, a book club, or a volunteer group. Its a great way to be around other like minded people without the stress of having to walk up to a complete stranger and introduce yourself.
  • clioandboy
    clioandboy Posts: 963 Member
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    I am similar, returned to this country then found myself single and with only a couple of friends in the area, at work Im the boss so dont socialise there, have found a social group which i started at on fri - we will see, they arent exactly my type not too many 40-50 year old psychobilly punk monsters out there in suburbia! have started zumba, we shall see. join a club or two, find some activities. good luck
  • Jaidee1979
    Jaidee1979 Posts: 83 Member
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    Aside from friends from work I really don't have many either. All the friends I grew up with married after high school and moved away and I find that the older I get the more selective I become when it comes to who I want as my friend and who I don't want.
  • seandcarey
    seandcarey Posts: 7
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    Vested interests are the best thing to do. If you like football, snowboarding, ect. Easy to find people who care about the same things and share your ideals. Don't be afraid to open up to people. I find it as part of a development as a person to talk to 5 people a day. Regardless of sex, age, ethnicity, ect. Everyone comes from somewhere and you'll find out soon the world isn't so small.
  • DrJackson6
    DrJackson6 Posts: 156 Member
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    yes, I feel the same way.
  • Emv79
    Emv79 Posts: 245 Member
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    I suck at it too. But see if your area has a "meetup" sight were you can find people with similar interests. www.meetup.com

    This. It's not a guarantee you'll make friends Day 1 of participating in an activity, but we all need to get out there if we're ever going to possibly develop friendships. It was soooo easy when we were kids! :)

    I've had a tough time finding friends after being relocated for work (I'm a 6hour drive away from my friends and family). But, I'm getting out there (gym, indoor rock climbing, hiking) and meeting people. There are 2 girls that I met while hiking that I really get along with and with whom I now keep in touch. Friends? Not yet, but getting there!
  • BOATS52
    BOATS52 Posts: 46
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    Texting and computers not making this any easier in the old days had to rely on friends and neighbors so much for modern Man and Woman.....KINDA LIKE THE SONG IN THE YEAR 2525 BY Zager and Evans Give it a listen if you have never heard it !:brokenheart:
  • Phoenix1401
    Phoenix1401 Posts: 711 Member
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    I met my friend last night he's REALLY angry though :/ I guess its the duct tape, rope and chains bothering him also the roofies are wearing off.
    sadpanda
  • Ellem86
    Ellem86 Posts: 204
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    I used to have the exact same issue of not meeting new people or making friends and I decided to finally do something about when it when I realised that not only is my current friendship group small but I rarely ever see my friends anymore because they have such busy schedules. I set myself the following goals to meet new people and they really have worked for me and I am happier now than I was a month ago:

    1. Join clubs - This is an easy way to meet people with shared interests and makes it easier to talk to them as you instantly have something in common. I joined a book club. We meet once a month and I really love it, although I haven't met any of the other book club members outside work.

    2. Accept every invitation that comes your way - I've stopped assuming I won't like something and started going to everything I am invited to even if I won't know anyone other than the person who has invited me. I'll be honest though and admit that I have so far needed a drink to stop feeling so shy. My boyfriend introduced me to his ex-colleague's wife, we hit it off and I met her and some of her friends for a lunch a week later. I am now going to her hen party next wee.

    3. Look for online websites/groups designed for meeting new people - I found a website called City Socialising which basically arranges socialising events for people who want to get to know other people in the city. I've made some great friends on the site already even though I only joined a month ago and would highly recommend it. CS organises events around the world so just see if your city is listed.

    I am soooo shy so if I can do the above (basically out of desperation!) then you can too!

    On that note, any London girls send me a message and we can meet up for a coffee or something :)
  • Ekoria
    Ekoria Posts: 262 Member
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    I have a very small circle of friends (a few of which are on here) and I try to just make sure I have enough time to hang out with them.

    I agree it is nearly impossible to make friends the older you get. I would suggest to seek people with similar interests OR see if there is any one here on MFP that lives close by that would like a friend to get coffee with?

    Good luck :)
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    I agree, as an adult I haven't made a new friend since university (and that was almost 20 years ago!). I have people I talk with at work but we don't really do anything outside of work. I've always felt like a bit of an outsider anyways, which I think makes it harder. The poster with the advice about asking them questions has a good idea! People always like to talk abouit themselves!
  • calalily77
    calalily77 Posts: 240 Member
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    I find it very hard to make new friends now that I am older. When I moved to this town it was tough because all the other moms at school had their little groups just like in high school. Its frustrating. My best friends were pretty much my sister in laws and mom for awhile. Finally i met a few people that became really good friends, then it dwindled and now i am lucky to have 2 really awesome girl friends and thats enough. Any more then that is just too much drama for me. Good luck. The good part is that here on mfp you can make friends that you can become pretty close to since you have things in common. Feel free to add me if you want to add another girl friend here.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
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    Im too much of an introvert. If I meet new people, ill just listen rather than say much.

    *stands around awkwardly*
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    I swear if I didn't have a sister I don't know who I'd talk to about things!

    It's very hard as an adult to make new friends.

    my friend I spent the most time with moved 12 hours away and my other 2 friends I used to hang out with quite often I don't anymore because they are quite a bit younger than me and every weekend is still about the bars and boys and i'm married and like to be in bed by midnight at the latest lol.
  • suzzann666
    suzzann666 Posts: 334 Member
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    Glad to know I'm not the only one!!
  • mes1119
    mes1119 Posts: 1,082 Member
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    I have the same problem.

    I honestly feel like I have NOTHING in common with people my age (lower 20s). They are all either pregnant, moms, engaged, married, etc.

    I just graduated and I'm more focused on having a career and such before I settle down. I mean I have a long term boyfriend but still. It seems like people in their 20s are all growing up too fast.... sigh....
  • cutiekaylaa
    cutiekaylaa Posts: 70
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    I wasn't even good at making friends when I was little, lol.
    Best of luck though.

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