Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED

Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.

I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!

I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.

Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.

Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?

Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.

It is hard to know that you will gain that much weight, and sometimes more if there are issues or a multiple pregnancy. Please, get yourself to an even better place before you consider pregnancy. Pregnancy is very hard on your body physically and mentally. If you are still purging on such a regular basis, it is going to be even harder. Please work with your doctors to figure out when the best time will be for you. Also - have you considered adoption? That could work out so great for you here. I wish you all the best.

Edited to add: when I was pregnant with my first, I had just lost a lot of weight. I was trying to lose more. I knew I needed to gain weight to have a healthy baby. I just stopped watching the scale. I completely got rid of mine and I asked the doctor to not tell me what my weight was when I went in for my appointments. It was very hard, but ultimately, I was willing to do anything for him, anything at all. I ended up with pre-eclampsia and gained 70 pounds. A month later, I was 2 pounds down from pre-pregnancy weight without any diet or exercise at that point. The weight comes off. I do stick with my previous comment that pregnancy is very hard emotionally and physically, in ways that others cannot prepare you to understand.

I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.

Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.

If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.

your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.

And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.

What the hell are you talking about? Do you have children? She doesn't want to g er t scared, but supported. I have six children and i never peed or pooped on myself, my hair is waist long and never was falling out. Good lord, what is wrong with you

I didn't read all 5 pages of replies, so forgive me if this has been said already...

Keep in mind that after the birth, breastfeeding will (in addition to being insanely healthy for your baby) burn calories like you've never seen.

The one thing my wife lamented most after breastfeeding was over was now she'd have to regulate her diet again. Imagine eating for two - only the 2nd one is more than 6-7 lbs!

Hello,

I hope that this isn't too personal on a public forum but it is important that you get professional help if you are not already. Regular counselling can help you and it is good to continue this even when you do feel recovered.

This is very good advise very nicely given. I would add that you should continue therapy throughout your pregnancy and after so that you are not overwhelmed by the weight gain. I also agree that at least 20-25 lbs is from the baby, fluid, placenta and extra blood needed for the baby. Most of that comes off within the first 2 months of having had the baby. It would only be a small gain that you really have to worry about and through proper diet and nutrition you should be able to take that off quickly. Good luck.

You aren't ready to be pregnant - you are sick. Get better first.

Also - I put on over 100lbs when pregnant. So yeah you will gain weight. You might even be fat.

I have been pregnant six times (yikes) and of that had four singletons and two sets of twins (eight babies). You will gain weight. If you don't the baby will be small but even worse, their brains do not develop fully if you don't eat well. I usually gain around 20 pounds each time (40 with twins each time). It is very possible to lose it after. I'm 40 and 5'6" and I weigh 135 after all those pregnancies. It can be done. Make sure that what you eat is healthy, don't just load up on junk. I would have to agree though that it does not sound like you are in a mental place to be considering pregnancy.

I did reply earlier in the thread but I assume it was missed so here it is again.

Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

well to be fair, your thread title and most of the original post was all about getting pregnant

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

Unfortunately where you were willing to admit that you still purge (doesnt matter if its 1, 2, 3 or 4 times), people are going to say the first thing that is genuinely the truth - you truly are not well thus not even classified in recovery by clinical standards. Personally speaking, I work in healthcare and that includes clinicians who specialize in working with ED patients.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

There are many of us who are mirroring your comment here of "we all know that I shouldnt have children yet"

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

No one has really gone as far (in my opinion) as you feel you think they are. People have made it known about your original inquiry of the pregnancy weight and such by answering it. Clearly the subject of weight gain-in general is still a horrible thing in your mind hence your original post but you have to sit back and understand - you did post something on an open forum on a weight-loss/fitness website. Everyone who posts something will risk either some really good posts (which you really did get alot of great posts) and unfortunately you will run into some who are just down right nasty (honestly speaking, I didnt see any here).

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

Anyone with ED whether they are truly recovering or those who, like you who still are actively afflicted with their ED are going to automatically feel like targets on websites like this where its for weightloss/fitness - its going to feel like you are being attacked no matter what, but I truly believe you were not attacked - I truly believe that where you let your guard down and willingly admitted to still purging, and then asked for feedback about the weight gain and pregnancy, that lit a big red light for all of us. And I am guaranteeing if you were to bring a printout of all posts from your thread to your clinicians, they would have some great feedback for you.

The one thing you do need to understand though, in my humble opinion, this thread did very well to maintain honesty and integrity with you without coming out in full verbal-bluntly put attacks... I know that might not feel the same way in your mind but, speaking as someone on the side of the clinicians and where I see this quite often, unfortunately your sensitive side with regard to ED can tend to heat things up where you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. I do think its COMMENDABLE that you risked coming here... but the reality kicks in. ED related topics are not going to be as productive as a therapy session with your clinicians- and yes, your thread encompassed ED - the fact this thread was able to remain active is VERY surprising - but its because people werent getting nasty with you is why the thread remained open (IMHO).

Everyone who has posted a relating answer to this with your current ED issues, are in fact correct. Even if you were to overcome the act of purging, you still have a very poor psychological tie to the negativity that surrounds the typical weight-gain issue all on its own, sans pregnancy. You would still have an extremely long road to travel on still once you stop purging.

Weight gain in pregnancy - women who get pregnant generally dont think too much into the weight gain because they know they have a baby growing inside of them and that is all they think about, and then at the end its "GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" LOL!!!!

. I wont discuss the medical complications of my pregnancy but, I did gain 75lbs thanks to being misdiagnosed with gestational diabetes and leave it at that. But, in developing more medical problems after having her, relating to the misdiagnosis, I do have problems with weight loss, but I am 53lbs down and Im half way there. Do I let the weight issue get to me? NOPE...

dont forget the stretch marks and problems peeing after having an epidural!