Would you move anywhere for your lover?

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  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    I think if you are asking the question you know the answer deep down.


    But yes within reason I would move if my husband wanted to, but it would have to be well thought out and planned. Just as he would for me and has.

    Now would I move for my lover, probably not, my husband would get mad.:laugh:
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    oh and love is supposed to be unconditional right?
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    Hmmmm.....

    Dont know then....sounds like you 2 have opposite tastes in environments. If you wont be happy going where he wants to go, I dont know if just the relationship alone is enough to keep you 2 together. But if you DO go with him and find you cant do it, have a backup plan so you arent stuck somewhere you dont want to stay.
  • arickim
    arickim Posts: 137
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    Hubby is military and I have moved 5 times:) in 13 years
  • zgdsmith
    zgdsmith Posts: 114 Member
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    I would but hubby would have to be willing to do the same for me. It sounds like he isn't willing to stay even if that's what makes you happy....
  • nakedsun
    nakedsun Posts: 115
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    I'm kind of in the same situation as you (except he didn't say hed leave the relationship if I didn't move.. I'd be extremely hurt by that).

    I was living in a town about an hour away from where he works. When his lease with his brother was up he convinced me into moving to the town where he worked thinking having no commuting would be awesome. I agreed since I wasn't happy with my job and my family didn't live in that town.

    Now i'm here, and secretly pretty miserable. I don't like the job I got here, haven't met people, am far from friends and family. He finally came out saying he hates it too cause he knows I'm unhappy as well. We talked it over and agreed to wait a year (for our rental lease to be up) and then will move closer to friends and family.

    I would tell him to wait a time before moving. Having money saved up is a good idea.
  • darylinny
    darylinny Posts: 146
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    To most places yes, but if we're talking Afghanistan or something, no way.

    ^^This...or somewhere really cold with lots of snow so Alaska is totally out!
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    Within reason I'd move for him. Together I think we'd communicate and weigh the pros and cons of moving... We would work together to do what was best for us as a family.

    There has to be a give and take for both sides of the relationship. Your husband needs to listen to your thoughts and feelings on the subject too. He has to be willing to stay for you just as much as you should be willing to move for him.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    He convinced you to move to CO...and now he wants to go back to Austin..."take it or leave it". Hmm.

    Why can't you compromise...he doesn't like small towns, you have a very valid reason to not go back to Austin...?
  • MileyClimb
    MileyClimb Posts: 414 Member
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    This!!
    Unless there's a ring on my finger, I'm staying where I am.

    Where did he get this idea that you wouldn't move for him?
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    Different situation for me, as my relationship is currently long distance... So, there was always that, "if we're really going to make this work, one of us will have to move." He had hoped it would be me, but, since his daughter all ready lives on the other side of the country, he is coming to where I am, as my son is only (almost) 14 and I share custody of him with his dad. Once he's graduated in 4 years, though, we can go... It will be weird not living in Ohio, but I love him and want him to be happy, too, so if leaving Ohio does that, so be it.

    (Side note, I did tell him, at one point a while back, that we needed to figure out what we were doing and on what time table sometime soon because I couldn't continue like this indefinitely. We've been together almost 16 months, he lives in Louisiana and I'm in Ohio. We've known each other 4+ years. I told him that, probably 5 or 6 months ago. It wasn't that I wanted to end things, I just couldn't keep on with long distance with no end in sight. He'll be here by September.)
  • CoCoBean14
    CoCoBean14 Posts: 107 Member
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    I would absolutely move with my boyfriend if it worked for both of us. We were going to move to Louisiana because it would be easier to find a job. But we didn't want to move if we didn't have something set up for both of us.

    We try to think about which situation would be best for both of us.

    I personally don't think it's fair to say "You have to do [xyz] or we're through"

    Yeah, I sure as hell didn't like that either. I said, um, is this an ultimatum? He said "no, but you keep saying **** that makes it sound like we will be here for longer."

    Then I assured him that we could move when we have saved and more importantly found a place to go.

    He really wants to go back to Austin, but I have a great reason not to, as I was raped there and my rapist was free and I saw him at a store a year later and he laughed at me. I will NEVER feel free from him there honestly, but I will go back with the best of hopes if I have to.

    And he can't understand why you don't want to move back??? I'm kinda speechless as far as that goes.
    I'm sorry you had to go through that, I hope you're better now
  • fitpilatesqueen
    fitpilatesqueen Posts: 337
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    If I really truely loved that person and he loved me as much I would move with him but I would put limits for example I wouldn´t be willing to move to a country where war is like Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria....
  • Nikki_42
    Nikki_42 Posts: 298 Member
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    Yes I would and have, but by my own decision, not his. If I had decided not to come with him, he wouldn't leave.

    I would be SO incredibly hurt if he said he was going to move with or without me.

    ^^This. I would totally move, pretty much anywhere in the world minus obvious war zones, etc. But it would be because I wanted to for us, not due to a threat of his leaving me. And I know he would move anywhere for me too.
  • Ironman2be
    Ironman2be Posts: 140 Member
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    Yes I would...and I would move especially fast if you were in Hawaii, Tahiti, or south florida!
  • CoCoBean14
    CoCoBean14 Posts: 107 Member
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    He convinced you to move to CO...and now he wants to go back to Austin..."take it or leave it". Hmm.

    Why can't you compromise...he doesn't like small towns, you have a very valid reason to not go back to Austin...?

    This too. There are other big cities you can move to. Dallas? New Orleans? Denver? There are TONS
  • ohthatbambi
    ohthatbambi Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Moved my family from the South (where I spent my whole life) to NE Indiana. It was hard but it was for my husband's job and we all got through it. I was told it takes about 2 years to really feel like a part of a community and that is what I tell everyone I meet that has moved or is about to move.

    At about the 1.5 year mark I started feeling like I was fitting in by 2 years, I felt like I was at home.

    I say wait it out two years and see if he still hates it!
  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
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    WOW...It really depends on how long you guys have been dating(if that is the case).. I know with my guy we discussed the options and both of us are open to it ....We would have to be married though..no way I would move and we are dating..You have to consider finding another job, leaving your family, and friends....I feel like if you guys were married you would have already known where it stands on relocating.... Only thing I can suggest is talk about it...and then pray on it.....Then follow what your gut is telling you...
  • MLgarcia3
    MLgarcia3 Posts: 503
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    I've relocated to 3 different states in the last 3 years for my husbands career.. I'd follow him anywhere. Except when he retires, he better move to my home state lol! It's only fair.
  • Amcolecchi
    Amcolecchi Posts: 260 Member
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    I would move for my husband too! Anywhere! BUT you are not married so I think for him to want you to move he needs to marry you AND not move back to the same place your rapist lives! How can he even want to go back there knowing that freaking creep is not behind bars! Maybe convince him to move somewhere else?

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