Worst Date Ever

I went on a date with a guy who spent the entire time bragging about his band. I said I was hungry and his response was "I already ate." Then he checked out a girl right in front of me... and not just a glance. He actually turned his body to stare at her butt.

That's messed up!! Ugh. Men.

I met this dude online ...when i was 23. We hit it off really well and he lived out of town ( this was when i was in Canada). So he came to meet up with me and the first date went really well, except that after everything, he had forgotten his wallet...the bill was 10$..we just had coffee so it wasnt a problem and i paid it.

Then the next date he said he was going to take me to dinner at the revolving restaurant up in the CN Tower..so i was excited and the date went awesome again....then there it was again...he forgot his wallet.

the bill was 73$....and i didnt have a choice. I had to pay.

:sad:

I hope there wasn't a 3rd

Once I went to meet a guy I had been texting. I was with a friend, as was he, it was casual.
Then he texted me, said, "look behind u" and he was there and said literally, this is all he said, "Hey, I'm gonna go buy some weed." So I was like...okay.

So I waited there with my friend for a couple of hours, then the guy came back like "hey you down to smoke?" I figured, why not, so then he led me up this enormous hill, and I had an asthma attack and had to suppress it because I was embarrassed. And my friend, who has the same name as me, was there too, but she was totally not down to smoke.

...so she told him she had lung cancer.

So it was like this.
Guy: -smoooooooooooooooooke-
Me: -failsmoke-
othersarah: i have lung cancer
Guy: so...
me: yeah... how bout that kanye west
guy: i don't know anything about him
me: he's a *kitten*
guy: i knew that
me: that's all you need to know

So then I only got slightly high. Like, I'm easily amused and artistic-minded enough that the only effect was I wanted frozen yogurt. And it wasn't that fun, and the guy just stayed up there on the hill when my friend and I left.

I was wearing a corset for maximum tits, and I came home with a corset-shaped sunburn.

And that's how that went.

funny stuff!

mine is short and sweet. was on a date with a guy and thought it was going well, until he asked the ice cream girl out on a date. yep, right in front of me. booo!

these are great! ok

also the online blind date thing - guy wants me to meet him at his local pub because 'his car's in the shop'
The 'pub' was a DIVE I wouldn't be caught dead in - the guy is VERY large (he lied) unkempt and wearing dirty sweats .. looked like he had not bathed in DAYS.
So I tell him ... I gotta go, I can't drink in this place, (I don't drink beer & dives don't serve wine) and tried to politely explain I expected him to at least wash his face & comb his hair - mind you, I was dressed to impress for a 1st date.

so then he 'begs' a ride home ... cause his car's in the shop u know (didn't he walk there?) so I reluctantly agree. we get to his house and suddenly, out of nowhere he gets me in a headlock saying 'gimme a goodnite kiss'

bad move. cricket doesn't play that - went immediately into rape self-defense mode & punched him in his throat. he's hacking & choking while I went around & dragged him out of my car & drove off. I think the date's over right? no. 2 mins later I see flashing blue lights .... he called the cops & told them I ASSAULTED HIM! I got arrested

That sucks!! but I am cracking up.

It was a blind date, and I was about an hour late or more. On my way there, an elderly couple asked me for directions. They were lost and from another country. I kinda saw my parents in them who also aren't from here and had to rely on the kindness of others to get around, when I was little. So I finally arrived to the date with an elderly couple in tow. They were with us the whole time going from museum to museum. She actually asked me out on another date afterwards.

these are great! ok

also the online blind date thing - guy wants me to meet him at his local pub because 'his car's in the shop'
The 'pub' was a DIVE I wouldn't be caught dead in - the guy is VERY large (he lied) unkempt and wearing dirty sweats .. looked like he had not bathed in DAYS.
So I tell him ... I gotta go, I can't drink in this place, (I don't drink beer & dives don't serve wine) and tried to politely explain I expected him to at least wash his face & comb his hair - mind you, I was dressed to impress for a 1st date.

so then he 'begs' a ride home ... cause his car's in the shop u know (didn't he walk there?) so I reluctantly agree. we get to his house and suddenly, out of nowhere he gets me in a headlock saying 'gimme a goodnite kiss'

bad move. cricket doesn't play that - went immediately into rape self-defense mode & punched him in his throat. he's hacking & choking while I went around & dragged him out of my car & drove off. I think the date's over right? no. 2 mins later I see flashing blue lights .... he called the cops & told them I ASSAULTED HIM! I got arrested

Seriously???? Sticking up for yourself wasn't your fault!!!!!

* His family showed up when he came to pick me up, armed with cameras. I was NOT informed that would happen. I'm sure I looked like a frightened baboon in every photo.
* Introduced me to everyone in the room, none of whom seemed to actually be his friends.
* Took photographs of people at our dinner table while they ate even after they angrily told him to stop, then proudly and loudly told me that he was like a nature photographer and wanted to take pictures of people when they weren't expecting it so they were "natural". Again, none of these people were his friends.
* Kept arranging my purse with some flowers and silverware into some weird architectural arrangement on the table literally every time I put it down (and took it out of my hands to do it when I didn't).
* Asked to go steady. I politely said no.
* Told me he loved me. I said....thank you?
* Grabbed my head and forced it onto his shoulder.
* Touched my thigh about 600 times
* Crossed his leg over mine - uh, what?
* Kissed me
* Grabbed my head and forced it onto his shoulder a few more times
* Fell asleep on me

At one point I started guzzling water every time the waiter would put some in front of me just so I could fill the awkward silences and have a chance to escape to the ladies' room just to get away from him (he spent the whole night breathing-distance from me at all times). So what did he do? Comment on the fact that I sure had to use the restroom a lot. Loudly. At the dinner table. Yeesh! :laugh:

I could write a book on bad dates.
I usually tell the horror story date but I will tell you guys a funny one. Crazy as hell actually.

So I had been seeing this guy for a while and we really liked each other. Apparently a little too much on his end. We decided to take the relationship to the 'next level'. I would say about 30 secs to a min. Into it he yells like he is in pain, falls over and is out completely cold on the floor. I start freaking out like....omg this dude just had a heart attack. I hop up..check his vitals and start trying to wake him up. I get up run to the kitchen for my purse to find my cell phone and dial 911. Before I get the phone he gets up and says ' no no no I'm ok'. I am straight panicked and confused at this point. And he admits to me that he faked passing out so that I wouldn't know he was 'done' so fast.
I couldnt stop laughing. I picked up my things and left still trying not to pass out myself from laughing so hard.
Never saw him again.

Oh.

My.

GOD.

That is so effing hysterical. I'm dying.

* His family showed up when he came to pick me up, armed with cameras. I was NOT informed that would happen. I'm sure I looked like a frightened baboon in every photo.
* Introduced me to everyone in the room, none of whom seemed to actually be his friends.
* Took photographs of people at our dinner table while they ate even after they angrily told him to stop, then proudly and loudly told me that he was like a nature photographer and wanted to take pictures of people when they weren't expecting it so they were "natural". Again, none of these people were his friends.
* Kept arranging my purse with some flowers and silverware into some weird architectural arrangement on the table literally every time I put it down (and took it out of my hands to do it when I didn't).
* Asked to go steady. I politely said no.
* Told me he loved me. I said....thank you?
* Grabbed my head and forced it onto his shoulder.
* Touched my thigh about 600 times
* Crossed his leg over mine - uh, what?
* Kissed me
* Grabbed my head and forced it onto his shoulder a few more times
* Fell asleep on me

At one point I started guzzling water every time the waiter would put some in front of me just so I could fill the awkward silences and have a chance to escape to the ladies' room just to get away from him (he spent the whole night breathing-distance from me at all times). So what did he do? Comment on the fact that I sure had to use the restroom a lot. Loudly. At the dinner table. Yeesh! :laugh:

sorry but :laugh:

Wow. I'm scared that I'm unexpectedly single after 5 years now. :laugh: