Why so much hate....

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  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.

    You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.

    EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
    I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
    it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"

    You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?

    That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.

    I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.


    <
    Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?

    Pretty simple.

    I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.


    You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
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    towards women that are thinner? Or women that don't want to be a size 14?
    I mean, seriously, what is the whole issue with this? I am truly curious. There is thread after thread bashing smaller women, calling us "anorexic", "sticks", etc.

    We're all here to better our health and lives, and to see such horrid threads is really sickening and hurtful.

    Even better question is why those threads do not get taken down when threads like this one will surely be gone within a few hours.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.

    You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.

    EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
    I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
    it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"

    You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?

    That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.

    I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.


    <
    Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?

    Pretty simple.

    I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.


    You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.


    my apologies, I really thought you were offended, then I was like maybe it was for who I quoted... but, yes we should all support each other to get healthy, whatever size that may be for each individual. And, thank you. :bigsmile:
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    hmmm. i haven't seen any threads about that at all. Maybe I"m looking in the wrong places.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Everybody judges...some people have more tact about it than others.

    There's always going to be people putting you down. You can either let it get to you, or you can rise above it.

    Of course if that fails, you can just give them a swift, firm kick in the **** (the word changes depending on the gender of your assailant).
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.

    no, that's not at all confusing. It's when people say "ewww, gross!" or "dude looks like a MAN!" or things of that nature ALL too often. True, threads get pulled after reported, but it still does happen too often.
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
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    Em, you handled yourself with grace and dignity. I would have gotten my own thread locked down from sending out death threats and giving just enough info to make them scared I actually knew where they lived.
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    i was once told I needed to eat a cheeseburger.

    what's up with the cheeseburger???

    I'm a vegetarian!

    Why not a burrito? Or cheese pizza? Or a donut? Or chocolate cake? Those are all things I would eat!

    Haha.
    But wait, now that I think about it, when that was said to me, I thought she was telling me I was fat...like i must eat cheeseburgers all the time. I didn't get that this was the thing you say to "skinny" people.

    And honestly, when I realized that was what she was saying?

    IT MADE ME HAPPY.

    They hate because they are jelly, I suppose. And who cares?
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.

    You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.

    EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
    I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
    it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"

    You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?

    That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.

    I don't see many posts where OP's are saying "oh, I'm so skinny, everyone hates me, I think I'll go cry..." I've been THAT girl whose been told to go eat a cheeseburger or that I needed to be force-fed sammiches or that I appeared to be on drugs (of which never happened). Its JUST as hurtful and wrong as someone telling a bigger person to lose weight. How are we to know what stage of fitness someone else is in? When I was being told all those hurtful disgusting things, I was actually actively TRYING to gain weight. But, did that matter? No. But, it sure was ok to bash the small girl, right? No. Bashing anyone's size is wrong. Period. There is NO excuse that will EVER change that. Ever.


    <
    Wow you are a class act! I would and am about to go h a m. I have been a size 2 and a size 12 but I am not about to rake a fork down my face b/c someone wants me to be unfortunate looking in anyway. I would never wish that upon anyone and I hope (but know ti's not likely) that others don't wish the same for me. I think this thread is disturbing and causing wayyyy too much drama. Why don't we all focus on our goals and stop taking each other's inventory?

    Pretty simple.

    I'M a class act? Because I gave a real life example of a smaller person getting bashed explaining that is why no one deserves to be bashed? Maybe the person I quoted, but DEFINITELY not me. You may want to re-read that. I didn't bash anyone and would not.


    You mistook what I wrote. I apologize, I was applauding you for how well you handled yourself. Nothing more or less. I think this is all ridiculous and we should be here to support each other and not tear each other down. No one, not matter what needs or deserved to get bashed. Ever.


    my apologies, I really thought you were offended, then I was like maybe it was for who I quoted... but, yes we should all support each other to get healthy, whatever size that may be for each individual. And, thank you. :bigsmile:

    My pleasure, glad we cleared that up! I agree! :flowerforyou:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Em, you handled yourself with grace and dignity. I would have gotten my own thread locked down from sending out death threats and giving just enough info to make them scared I actually knew where they lived.

    Bahaha, I was honestly just taken back by it all, I couldn't even come up with valid insults lol.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Why be objective? Why care? Why not...just keep your opinions (unless asked), self-prejudices, and perceptions to yourself?
  • xPOOKiEx
    xPOOKiEx Posts: 156 Member
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    HATERS GONNA HATE!
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    Quit whining, thin women are the privileged group.

    You're the ones in magazines, you're the ones who can fit into clothes, and if a couple people are prejudiced against you, it's nothing compared to the hate that big women get.

    EDIT: to clear up, I don't mean to be a *****. I actually am skinny, and wear a size 12 because I'm really tall, and that's life.
    I just get annoyed when women say, "oh, I'm too skinny, everyone hates me!"
    it's sort of like when white people say, "Oh, they hate me cause I'm white!"

    You guys are the privileged group, you don't get called fat pigs or the N word, the prejudice you face is miniscule compared to that of the non privileged groups. See what I mean?

    That's not to say that it's acceptable to hate on you because really it doesn't matter all that much what your body looks like, we're all more than that.

    I actually "get" what you are saying here. Privilege is a hard thing for some people to understand, though.

    But I do understand it. And I agree that when skinny ladies are getting hated on, it generally comes from a place of jealousy and that it's all tied into that privilege...
    The privilege is societally based and I think that what we need to agree on is that the PRIVILEGE is the enemy, not women, be they large or small. The enemy is the societal expectations, standards, and weirdness.

    I was technically obese, and I hated my body because it wasn't skinny.
    Now i'm skinny and I dislike that I haven't any breasts like your average hooter girl.

    But my bf thinks I'm a sexy MF no matter what size I am. If only we could all be that awesome.
  • histora
    histora Posts: 287 Member
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    I'd like to point out that sometimes people assume they are being hated on for their size (whatever size that may be) when really, they're hated on because they have a crap attitude.
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I could write a book with the nasty, hate filled, evil trash thrown my way for being fat.

    People hate typically because they hurt. It's not justifiable by any means. But to get to the point of hurting where it turns to hating on someone or a type of people, one typically experiences a level of humiliation, embarassement and ridicule that cannot be fathomed by words alone.

    That's a good portion of why there's so much hate. Being fat in today's world is the same as having leprosy. The good thing is that being fat is a condition that you can change. That doesn't erase the evil ****e that is said or tossed your way though.

    If you've never really been fat before, praise whatever gods you happen to follow, or the flying spaghetti monster as it pleases, and keep staying thin and/or fit. I'd rather chew on glass then to ever be fat again.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.

    no, that's not at all confusing. It's when people say "ewww, gross!" or "dude looks like a MAN!" or things of that nature ALL too often. True, threads get pulled after reported, but it still does happen too often.

    I don't think its confusing but I do see people taking offense to those sorts of comments a lot.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I'd like to point out that sometimes people assume they are being hated on for their size (whatever size that may be) when really, they're hated on because they have a crap attitude.

    I don't know, a lot of the hate I've seen whether it's on bigger girls or smaller girls, had nothing to do with their attitude.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I think the most part people mistake things like "I don't want to be a size 2, that's too small for me!" With "hate". Same things goes for people saying "I would never want to be that muscular" as an insult to muscular women. Or guys saying "I'd prefer skinny women" as insults to all non-skinny women. I see very few examples of true body bashing on this site, and when there is an example of it, the person gets called out very quickly by a lot of people.

    no, that's not at all confusing. It's when people say "ewww, gross!" or "dude looks like a MAN!" or things of that nature ALL too often. True, threads get pulled after reported, but it still does happen too often.

    I don't think its confusing but I do see people taking offense to those sorts of comments a lot.

    I don't even know what to say to those people, then.... but to those who've been the victim of being called "gross" or "manly" yes, that makes sense to think it was hate or bashing.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    The one thing we all need to remember is that no matter what shape we are on the outside, I would hazard a guess that there isn’t a single person here who is 100% happy with what they see in the mirror! (If they were 100% happy, why would they be here, tracking calories and logging exercises?)

    Coming from personal experience... when a lot of people look in the mirror, they see their flaws. They don’t always see the amazing parts of them… instead their attention is drawn to the cellulite on their thighs, or the armpit fat, or flabby triceps, beer gut, baby pouch, saggy boobs, moobs, ugly toes… or any piece of their body that isn’t what society would call “perfection”.

    People stereotyped as “super skinny” often want to be curvier. People stereotyped as “overweight” often want to be thinner. Straight hair wants curly, curly hair wants straight, hairy men want smooth, and smooth men want a carpet… etc. Very few people seem completely happy in their own skin – so try to remember that when you look at a person and think they’re perfect (or privileged) the way they are and should just quit their whining.

    Based on what I’ve seen thus far, a huge number of us have been abused mentally for our shape – whatever shape that is and has been! We operate out of a foggy view of the world as a result, and oftentimes our reactions and posts emerge from our own pain. Let us not abuse others and inflict the same kind of pain on them!

    Myself, I was always the fat, ugly, stupid, sasquatch growing up. I know in my head that I didn’t fit any of those descriptions… well ok, maybe at 6’1 the sasquatch one kinda fit… but they still became my identity. For years, when I looked in the mirror, all I could see was fat ugly stupid. I STILL struggle when I look in the mirror. Taking pic after pic after pic and destroying them all because they didn’t pass the quality check.

    I admit, I have a lot of mental growing up to do, but wanted to encourage the size 0’s and 44’s and every size below, in between, and above – to learn to accept yourself first… once you do that, accepting others becomes much easier.