Anyone else have a mentally ill parent?

I have a mentally ill son.

My father was bipolar and he died of an overdose. I cut ties with him about a year before he died though.

My mom is a severe diabetic. She has had several surgeries, she had strokes, heart attacks, she's going blind...the list is just never ending with all her conditions. She refuses to take her medicines. She comes up with every excuse not to. To me, she's acting no different than my dad did. I recently cut ties with her. I'm not gonna sit around and watch her kill herself, everything that is wrong with her, is her own doing.

Hey. I live with a mother who is a hoarder & who displays boredline personality disorder symptoms, something that I have as well. It can get very frustrating living with her, as she has never sought mental help & doesn't even believe anything is wrong with her. If your parents won't respect your boundaries, then you just have to distance yourself. You can't control your mom or dad's actions. You're mom may be an enabler, but don't let yourself be one. Hold your parents accountable to the boundaries you respect. For instance, if you say don't call me after 8pm & he calls you after that constantly, then you tell him hey dad, i can't have you doing that. Until you can respect my boundaries I will not be answering any of your calls. Eventually he may come around and realize in order to have you in his life he may need to take his medication. I'd say stop worrying about your parents, and focus on yourself. They will come around eventually if you stay strong.

my sister has schitzophrenia...she also rents a house from us and is always calling cuz someone has broken in, broke her foot, trying to poisen her, she sets out traps to trap her robbers, its a dailey grind, she has very little support syustem, she does take her meds but continues on her paranoia, rants, voices, and is continually afraid someone out to get her. It does no ggod to set parameters, its easier just to change her locks every other month or so...its the same locks we use...she just doesnt know it! took her on a 3 week road trip recently...not the wisest choice but it will probly be her last one and she got to see family she hasnt seen in years. It was very challenging she also has physical disabilities as well. Her daughter has recently moved in with her and it has gotten better in regards of her constant calling us for something but then there is new issues with her daughter living there. We just keep plugging at it and try our best. Only other option is placing her in group home but I think that would make it worse. she does like her yard and gardening and loves to sew at all hours. she couldnt do that in a group home. so we pray a lot and hope we can make it through another day!! Patience is a must with folks like this! hoping for the best in your situation!

Oh gosh yes, my biological father was epileptic,suicidally depressed,paranoid infused abusive alcoholic who killed himself when i was 11 (granted my parents were in the middle of a divorce and living in two separate states so it didn't effect me like everyone thought it would) My mother is/was ( she insists she isn't drinking, i totally know she is) an alcoholic with bi-polar disorder and Socialized Anxiety Disorder. She takes her meds but doesn't admit to having a problem with her drinking. I, like another person on here, cut all ties for awhile but then found myself feeling too guilty to let her go. As far as boundaries are concerned you have to take a step back and do your best to realize that if someone won't help themselves then there isn't going to be much you can do to help them either. Especially when it comes to our parents, being set in their ways just comes with life experience. I wish you the best of luck in trying to set boundaries and break down the wall to gain understanding. Don't forget you're not alone in dealing with this and if you ever want to talk you can message me. I know exactly how you feel!

Is it really enabling behaviors by your mom or is it just a deep founded love for her husband that is very difficult for her to pass up and admit to herself that he has a problem?

Schizophrenia is a very elaborate and often confused disease, I am sure you are well aware of that. If you have clearly shown her what the problem is you are having and she is not correcting it it may be time to move on.

I just wanted to give you a virtual hug and urge you to see what options are available to you in your area (residential facilities, home health visits, etc.). I work in a mental health correctional facility. The majority of our residents suffer from schizophrenia and were ordered to our facility after trying to harm someone (usually a family member). A person suffering from schizophrenia and non-compliant with medications can escalate into violence very fast. For example: My best friend's grandfather was schizophrenic, and her grandmother was an enabler. He pulled a gun on her one day. Her solution was to empty all of the hunting rifles and remove all of the ammunition from the house. He ended up attacking her with a knife.

Schizophrenia is one of those things that's very hard on the families of those suffering from it. I wish you a lot of peace, calm, and strength. Just do what you can and encourage your mother to be careful.

I do not have a parent with a mental health illness, but I do have a husband with a severe TBI. His brain damage has left him essentially with bioplar, ADHD, anxiety, severe depression, and mood disorders to name a few. It is very hard and I give all of you hugs to the moon and back. He suffered a gun shot wound through his left eybrow that went through almost to the back of his skull in January of 2011 (after we were married and had a 1.5 year old). He has come a long way from not feeling/moving anything on his right side and brain damage to the point where he could not follow 2-step commands or know anything was missing up there. I was an enabler. The person that helped us/me the most was the neuropsychologist. He helped me to see that I was not helping him by doing everything for him, giving him everything he wanted when he had a "tempertantrum", etc. It has been very hard to set bounderies, but if I didnt/do then he will never get any better. It was recommended that I put him an inpatient neuropsychology facility, but I refused...looking back a year later I probably should have for at least 30 days. Every day is hard. I am raising 2 children, one 3 and one 32. Every day is a challenge. Eating healthy is a challenge. Feel free to message me...I could use some good motivators/listeners/just people who understand.

This is a really heavy thread, sounds like everyone has been through a lot. Sending love and hugs to each and everyone one of you. My mother has schizophrenia, my father left her when I was a baby and raised us on his own. Thankfully, this spared me from a lot of her illness, however I grew up without a mother because of it. We have a sort of "happy ending" story though, as many years later my Aunt got my mom involved with a mental health organiZation which has helped her pull her life back together. They would do private meetings with her at her apartment and provide her medication that way to start. Now she goes daily to get her medication and they keep her "in check". She has a wide social life, has hobbies, keeps busy and is back to being a well functioning person (which she wasn't for many many years)

So, I highly recommend looking into an mental health organizations like this in your area. That said, people with illnesses like this absolutely cannot be reasoned with. You need to think of yourself, and remove yourself from any harmful situations.

I believe my mum is undiagnosed bipolar. Only in the last few years did I realise that's probably the case, though I'd cut ties with her a few years beforehand.

She also appears to be a compulsive liar, but if I'm honest I haven't ever worked out if she knows she's lying, or has genuinely forgotten the things she's lying about.

Cut almost all contact with my mum over three years ago, though in reality I'd lost who she was long before that. I have good memories of her from very early childhood, but she's not been that person in a long time.

My mother is bipolar I and refuses to get treatment. She acts like we can't tell (despite our father asking her to get help) but I really wish she would. There have been times that I just totally want to desert her because she is acting like a child and taking everything as a slight against her "immaculate self". This has been a battle ever since I was little, and I only recently began to see the signs. She actually told me about her being bipolar but she doesn't like medication because the few of them she's tried haven't been great... nevermind that they gave her antidepressants that make bipolar worse, it's not the doctors fault! All medications are terrible, you see! And it's not like there aren't a bunch of other medications out there for her to try. I don't even think she *wants* help.

(ALWAYS see a psychiatrist for brain meds. General practitioners don't know as much and are quick to prescribe antidepressants even when a patient isn't even depressed, which can really mess people who are actually bipolar up. Doctors do the physical body, psychiatrists do the mental body.)

I'm mentally ill as well, but it is under control and I don't refuse help for it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I understand how hard it is. Because people don't realize the toll that years and years of putting up with this takes. And they don't understand the guilt or the confusion or the shame or the resentment which often causes further guilt. You cannot explain to someone what it's like to grow up with a parent who does not value their own life, or who will get angry over tiny things and break things and punch a hole in the wall. And they're your caretaker who is supposed to shelter you from these things. Or who is too depressed to get out of bed and would rather eat garbage, watch bad TV, chain smoke, and have all sorts of health problems than do anything else. And who, despite not seeming to care about anything, is still so completely selfish. And what it's like to realize that your other parent and your aunts and uncles and grandparents don't want to deal with it either so you just have to keep your head down, grow up, and then get the hell out of there.

I tried to be understanding. I tried to have an adult relationship with my father and my mother who stays because she is a martyr and co-dependent. And then last year I'd just had enough. I couldn't watch him try to passively kill himself anymore and I couldn't let her verbally abuse me because she won't say anything to him anymore. So I asked for some space. Even then they pushed back because they hate boundaries. But I started seeing a therapist to work through my issues with them and she helped me to hold my ground. I once said to her, "I don't like being around them because I don't get anything out of a relationship with them. They're crazy and I don't trust them." Her perfect response was, "That's not true - you don't get nothing. You get anxiety and guilt and you feel terrible. Don't minimize that by calling it nothing." I was feeling really good about having no contact because I felt like their issues and demands and feelings took up so much space that there was none left for me. Then in March my father finally made an attempt at his own life. And afterwards it was really difficult to decide what to do. And the best course of action for me was to say, "I'm not talking to them right now." You don't have to make some big declaration regarding forever and ever - just take it one day at a time and decide what you want to do for now. Because it's too much to think about if you go past that, you know? Decide what is best for you and your health and your sanity (Remember you? They may not be considering you but you should!) and go from there. Try finding a therapist who can help you if you're able to. I was very resistant to therapy for a long time because I felt like that was something THEY did. THEY were crazy and dysfunctional and need therapy but I was different and I was stronger and didn't need it. Nonsense. You grow up in that environment you need someone to help you through this - I don't care if I have to pay someone to be in my corner every week, she's in my corner and that's what matters.

I'm sorry this is so long and rambling and word-vomity. Just know that I think you're amazing and brave for posting this and reaching out for help because that is something I really struggle with. Feel free to send me a message or a friend request or anything at any time because those of us who "get it" need to stick together.