I NEED SUPPORT FEELING ON EDGE

124

Replies

  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    where's the beef?
  • MtnKat
    MtnKat Posts: 714
    Find something else to eat.

    My husband sabotages me all the time. It piss*s me off. He smokes right next to me and even leaves lit cigs alone in the room with me (I quit smoking a pack a day 4 years ago). He does not care because he is selfish,,,my weight loss journey is about me, not him,

    He buys all kinds of sweets....even tries to bring me home candy bars.

    I simply do not smoke or eat them. Period. Be selfish too....eat your own foods....she certainly isn't twisting your arm or putting a gun to your head.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    She could be fearful if you will leave her or want to if you succeed. Talk to her though, she won’t know how you feel unless you do. She may have no idea what she is putting you thru.
  • lisamck67
    lisamck67 Posts: 5 Member
    BECUZ IF HE LOSING AND SHE IS NOT— SHE IS JEALOUS ! - EAT UP:smokin:
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Eat them up.
    Have you heard of Alli? I suggest you might want to try that. It will help your with excess fat you are consuming.

    6-2.jpg
  • Joanneyoud
    Joanneyoud Posts: 1
    Get a grip! Nobody forces you to eat. Take yourself out or just man up.
  • hopper65
    hopper65 Posts: 1
    I sympathize. I was told that tonight is pizza and movie night. It is beautiful outside and I don't want to eat pizza and sit around on my butt. I suggested an alternate plan that includes getting out of the house first then doing something fun (shopping). The reply was a little hesitant, but when I suggested there was something in it for her, she agreed. I also get a lot of food presents that are hard for me to resist: ice cream, chocolate, etc. I've asked her to stop and she still hasn't. It is not intentional sabotage but fear that you are changing and she is not. Maybe she worries about what that means over the long term as you continue to change. No one wants to get left behind but only she can take the first steps to change.

    As for the gifts of food I'm just going to have to make a statement by throwing them away. It will make her mad but I bet it will also stop her behavior because she hates to waste food.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Eat them up.
    Have you heard of Alli? I suggest you might want to try that. It will help your with excess fat you are consuming.

    6-2.jpg

    Seriously? I know its hard but you really really need to pluck up the courage to talk to her. Its not acceptable. My partner eats rubbish all the time. Its hard to always say no. It is sabotage and its not fair. You really need to talk to her. If she loves you she will understand. If she doesn't I think that tells you a lot! Good luck!
  • seetherslave
    seetherslave Posts: 8
    Maybe it's your profile picture causing her to make an attempt on your life with fried tacos. Just a thought.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Find something else to eat.

    My husband sabotages me all the time. It piss*s me off. He smokes right next to me and even leaves lit cigs alone in the room with me (I quit smoking a pack a day 4 years ago). He does not care because he is selfish,,,my weight loss journey is about me, not him,

    It also sounds like he's trying to burn the house down.
  • beccas27
    beccas27 Posts: 200 Member
    I want a taco!
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    You should heap on lots of extra onions and refried beans. Then breathe heavily in her face while she's sleeping. If she rolls over, light the cannon. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.
  • xcrmonger
    xcrmonger Posts: 22 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    You live with a saboteur. You need to sit down with her and tell her that part of loving someone is supporting them in all they endeavor. In sticking with them for better or worse, but doing all they can to make the better parts memorable.

    I lived with a saboteur, and I was nearing the end of my rope. And then one morning, about a week ago, he woke up and decided he wanted to change, too. And now I can barely keep up with him at the gym, and he is my partner in healthy eating.

    It makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to try to survive despite your spouse, you should be able to live with her, happily and healthily.

    It's time for a big talk, sweetheart. For serious.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    You live with a saboteur. You need to sit down with her and tell her that part of loving someone is supporting them in all they endeavor. In sticking with them for better or worse, but doing all they can to make the better parts memorable.

    I lived with a saboteur, and I was nearing the end of my rope. And then one morning, about a week ago, he woke up and decided he wanted to change, too. And now I can barely keep up with him at the gym, and he is my partner in healthy eating.

    It makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to try to survive despite your spouse, you should be able to live with her, happily and healthily.

    It's time for a big talk, sweetheart. For serious.

    whoooooooooosh
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    You live with a saboteur. You need to sit down with her and tell her that part of loving someone is supporting them in all they endeavor. In sticking with them for better or worse, but doing all they can to make the better parts memorable.

    I lived with a saboteur, and I was nearing the end of my rope. And then one morning, about a week ago, he woke up and decided he wanted to change, too. And now I can barely keep up with him at the gym, and he is my partner in healthy eating.

    It makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to try to survive despite your spouse, you should be able to live with her, happily and healthily.

    It's time for a big talk, sweetheart. For serious.
    I can't imagine her wanting to do any of that. I'm so very scared.
  • xcrmonger
    xcrmonger Posts: 22 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    You live with a saboteur. You need to sit down with her and tell her that part of loving someone is supporting them in all they endeavor. In sticking with them for better or worse, but doing all they can to make the better parts memorable.

    I lived with a saboteur, and I was nearing the end of my rope. And then one morning, about a week ago, he woke up and decided he wanted to change, too. And now I can barely keep up with him at the gym, and he is my partner in healthy eating.

    It makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to try to survive despite your spouse, you should be able to live with her, happily and healthily.

    It's time for a big talk, sweetheart. For serious.
    I can't imagine her wanting to do any of that. I'm so very scared.

    That begs the question of are you still together out of love, or for comfort and safety?

    And are you as a person worth more?
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    You live with a saboteur. You need to sit down with her and tell her that part of loving someone is supporting them in all they endeavor. In sticking with them for better or worse, but doing all they can to make the better parts memorable.

    I lived with a saboteur, and I was nearing the end of my rope. And then one morning, about a week ago, he woke up and decided he wanted to change, too. And now I can barely keep up with him at the gym, and he is my partner in healthy eating.

    It makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to try to survive despite your spouse, you should be able to live with her, happily and healthily.

    It's time for a big talk, sweetheart. For serious.
    I can't imagine her wanting to do any of that. I'm so very scared.

    That begs the question of are you still together out of love, or for comfort and safety?

    And are you as a person worth more?
    I dunno. I mean, I love her cooking. It really brings us together. Nothing is funner than eating fried foods or ice cream in bed at night while we watch movies. I love eating with her. It's the last thing we have in common, and she wants to turn it into my death.
  • xcrmonger
    xcrmonger Posts: 22 Member
    Health isn't just about having low cholesterol and low body fat. Your mind and your heart have to be in the right place, too.

    I wish you luck, OP. But keep in mind - compromising the values you want to follow is a slippery slope. Eventually you will compromise away everything you truly want.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Health isn't just about having low cholesterol and low body fat. Your mind and your heart have to be in the right place, too.

    I wish you luck, OP. But keep in mind - compromising the values you want to follow is a slippery slope. Eventually you will compromise away everything you truly want.
    :cry:
  • happythermia
    happythermia Posts: 374
    Have you actually sat down with her and talked to her about it?
    No. She intimidates me.
    Is she thin/fat?
    She's skinny fat.
    Does she feel threatened?
    I don't know.
    Is she scared she may loose you?
    I think that she wants to loose me for good, like in a grave.
    Have you asked for her help?
    No.

    Uh? if you really feel that way, it's time to move on. Not to sound rude or anything, but "I think that she wants to loose me for good, like in a grave." doesn't sound like the basis of a happy relationship
  • tgriffin12
    tgriffin12 Posts: 1
    I completely get where you are coming from. My husband has done this from time to time. I finally just asked him straight up "are you wanting me to fail at this" He told me of course not that honestly he doesn't think about it. Now wether that is true or not I don't know. But with me coming forward and confronting him and letting him know that he was also a big part of my success in this that he to needed to think about it he has made the adjustments to our meals that fit my eating style. For example if we have potatos he will pull out a portion for me that doesn't have cheese, butter etc. Califlower is steamed and his is boiled in butter and then somothered in cheese. Maybe just try being up front with her about how it makes you fail. This is a hard thing to do and you for sure need the support of your family on your side 100 %. Good Luck!
  • dawn2313
    dawn2313 Posts: 125 Member
    Not to sound negative, but from all the comments you're making... why are you with your wife?!
    She only asked you to go get them, you could have told her no point blank haha. I get where you're coming from and it is definitely a struggle and I commend you for thinking it over! You don't sound like you're very happy with her... unless your sarcasm just isn't recognizable to me haha, but regardless good luck with your journey! and take it easy on the wife! just talk with her about it
  • GaidenJade
    GaidenJade Posts: 171
    It's hard, when you reach a point in your life when you decide to make it better. When you are no longer happy with what you have, when you want to improve instead of being stagnant all the time. Thing is, it scares those we love, because they are used to the "old" us. They watch us drift further away.

    I completely get where you are coming from. And I agree with nearly everyone here. You do have to think over your life, but seriously, this is something you and your wife need to work out. YOU need to decide what you want to do. Don't give up on your marriage just because it's hit hard times or because you are in the middle of the river with her on one side and your dreams are on the other. Don't give up your journey to become the man you want to be for her, because then you will resent her for it anyway.

    Take time and talk to her about this.
  • Zkinkel
    Zkinkel Posts: 13
    The world is filled with distractions and temptations with food. Unfortunately it is your journey to take alone. People who eat badly want partners, people who eat well and workout want partners. You may have to go without a teammate in your journey to a happy healthy you and she may have to go without her partner in crime for greasy food. I eat a paleo diet (low carb) but cook my fiancee pasta and make him sandwhiches, it sucks sometimes but I am stornger for it. You are in control of what you put in your mouth, and you are the only person that can sabatoge themselves. Your a grownup and you can do it!!!!!
  • redcat17
    redcat17 Posts: 267 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    Hmm...is it a gas oven? Oil and oven cleaner should make for a fine explosion. Just sayin'.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I went and got the oil. She asked me to get oven cleaner too, then laughed. It wasn't her typical laugh, like when we're intimate. I don't know how to take it.

    Hmm...is it a gas oven? Oil and oven cleaner should make for a fine explosion. Just sayin'.
    Oh my... now I'm really freaking out.
  • tmd0521
    tmd0521 Posts: 6
    1. you need to talk to your wife about it.
    2. you do NOT have to eat it.
    3. go to the damn store for the oil, JUST to be helpful :)
  • sunflower3
    sunflower3 Posts: 1
    Make your own meal thats what I do. If it's something I won't eat I get my own. Solves the whole problem.
  • AmyS1975
    AmyS1975 Posts: 143
    Tell her fine, but that you will make your own. STEAM the tortillas, add what YOU want to the taco, no cheese, sour cream, that kind of stuff. Onions, cilantro and hot sauce is the way to go.

    You guys can share meals, but you can make your own healthier version of the meal for yourself.

    Great idea! And since you're going to the store, pick up fresh lettuce, tomatoes fat free sour cream, 4% Allegro cheese and small whole wheat tortillas. Top with salsa and enjoy!
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