Anyone else have a mentally ill parent?

Is it really enabling behaviors by your mom or is it just a deep founded love for her husband that is very difficult for her to pass up and admit to herself that he has a problem?

Schizophrenia is a very elaborate and often confused disease, I am sure you are well aware of that. If you have clearly shown her what the problem is you are having and she is not correcting it it may be time to move on.

I have a mentally ill son.

My father was bipolar and he died of an overdose. I cut ties with him about a year before he died though.

My mom is a severe diabetic. She has had several surgeries, she had strokes, heart attacks, she's going blind...the list is just never ending with all her conditions. She refuses to take her medicines. She comes up with every excuse not to. To me, she's acting no different than my dad did. I recently cut ties with her. I'm not gonna sit around and watch her kill herself, everything that is wrong with her, is her own doing.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I understand how hard it is. Because people don't realize the toll that years and years of putting up with this takes. And they don't understand the guilt or the confusion or the shame or the resentment which often causes further guilt. You cannot explain to someone what it's like to grow up with a parent who does not value their own life, or who will get angry over tiny things and break things and punch a hole in the wall. And they're your caretaker who is supposed to shelter you from these things. Or who is too depressed to get out of bed and would rather eat garbage, watch bad TV, chain smoke, and have all sorts of health problems than do anything else. And who, despite not seeming to care about anything, is still so completely selfish. And what it's like to realize that your other parent and your aunts and uncles and grandparents don't want to deal with it either so you just have to keep your head down, grow up, and then get the hell out of there.

I tried to be understanding. I tried to have an adult relationship with my father and my mother who stays because she is a martyr and co-dependent. And then last year I'd just had enough. I couldn't watch him try to passively kill himself anymore and I couldn't let her verbally abuse me because she won't say anything to him anymore. So I asked for some space. Even then they pushed back because they hate boundaries. But I started seeing a therapist to work through my issues with them and she helped me to hold my ground. I once said to her, "I don't like being around them because I don't get anything out of a relationship with them. They're crazy and I don't trust them." Her perfect response was, "That's not true - you don't get nothing. You get anxiety and guilt and you feel terrible. Don't minimize that by calling it nothing." I was feeling really good about having no contact because I felt like their issues and demands and feelings took up so much space that there was none left for me. Then in March my father finally made an attempt at his own life. And afterwards it was really difficult to decide what to do. And the best course of action for me was to say, "I'm not talking to them right now." You don't have to make some big declaration regarding forever and ever - just take it one day at a time and decide what you want to do for now. Because it's too much to think about if you go past that, you know? Decide what is best for you and your health and your sanity (Remember you? They may not be considering you but you should!) and go from there. Try finding a therapist who can help you if you're able to. I was very resistant to therapy for a long time because I felt like that was something THEY did. THEY were crazy and dysfunctional and need therapy but I was different and I was stronger and didn't need it. Nonsense. You grow up in that environment you need someone to help you through this - I don't care if I have to pay someone to be in my corner every week, she's in my corner and that's what matters.

I'm sorry this is so long and rambling and word-vomity. Just know that I think you're amazing and brave for posting this and reaching out for help because that is something I really struggle with. Feel free to send me a message or a friend request or anything at any time because those of us who "get it" need to stick together.

My mother suffered from severe depression since I was 3, she had electro shocks lost her memory etc. I looked after my sister and brother and was always called the difficult child, maybe cause I stopped being one at the age of 6 to become an adult.
It looks to me that here we have something in common and no wonder we all over eat, maybe is related to what we go through in daily basis. My mother got better with time but she was never completely normal. Totally dependent personality till the day she died., she was an other child.

Good luck to eveyone and is important to detach a little from their lives to live our own.

Liz