Is total abstention easier than moderation?

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londoneye
londoneye Posts: 192 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
"A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
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Replies

  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    I have keep chocolate out of the picture... I wish I was one of those people who could just have 1 square... but until I am the willpower will keep helping me say no thanks
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    i'm definately an abstainer. I need to stay completely the hell away from everything I don't need/want in my life. If I have just one, it's a slippery slope....always. When I quit smoking, it took me 5 times trying over a period of years. The last time I tried, I quit cold turkey, although I did keep a pack in the very back of my refridgerator that I used as my "security blanket". I felt like it was my only option left and it worked. I've eliminated a lot of stuff from my daily diet also. This seems to be the only way that works for me. Although I can have a "treat" while i'm out and about, I can't keep it in my house on a daily basis. Wish I could change that, but right now? not happening. Guess i'm just an all or nothing kinda girl.
  • B_Running
    B_Running Posts: 158
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    "A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

    I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

    For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

    Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

    I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

    There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

    So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

    For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    I no longer believe in moderation. I have tried coutless times, but it's just not something that agrees with me. It REALLY DOES require "enourmous self-control" when I attempt to do something in moderation. As opposed to completely eliminating something (or the opposite - doing it all the time), it becomes easy -- as if there's no pressure.

    And I mostly certainly cannot "treat" myself to indulgences because all it does it make me what more and more (in that moment, as well as days/weeks/months later).

    I also tend to question those who claim they do/believe in "everything in moderation." I've witnessed far too many people proudly claim this mantra, when in reality, their extremism only surfaces in different areas in their life. ...maybe I'm just a little jealous that they can enjoy a small treat; meanwhile, if I attempt to do the same, a war is raged inside my head, lol.
  • stephanj
    stephanj Posts: 898 Member
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    Yup yup yup! I am an all or nothing kind of girl with an addictive personality. Abstinence is so much easier. When something is just off the table, not an option, I can find alternatives. When I have just a bit of something I crave it even more!
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
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    I think it is. Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn of the Cleveland Clinic, famous for curing patients of heart disease with proper diet, says "Completely remove this phrase from your vocabulary: 'this little bit can't hurt'"
  • Ravenesque_
    Ravenesque_ Posts: 257 Member
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    I do moderation because it's harder. Anything to help me improve self control :)
  • emilylacey1010
    emilylacey1010 Posts: 69
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    I have to say no way none zero zip! A little is good and a lot would be way better! I don't want to even taste anything that might mess me up! JMO
  • mhoward685
    mhoward685 Posts: 129 Member
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    I think there are trigger foods that must be abstained from and others that can be enjoyed in moderation and that is what makes this so difficult.
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
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    most of the time i do find that true. a little can so easily turn into a lot. i'd do bettter to make a healthy version of things i want so i don't get crazy with wanting more like a feeding shark.
  • Howbouto
    Howbouto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    It depends what it is, but mainly I think abstaining is easier for me than moderation. Especially if its a red light food, (especially sugary foods). I have found that if I have a little bit of sugar I really crave it the rest of the day, if I just stay away for it I can deal with not having it. However, pizza is something I have to have occasionally, I still have trouble with moderation but if I don't have pizza every couple of weeks I'll order a large and eat it by myself! Its easier to control by abstaining but I don't always think abstaining is the answer for a life style.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    I do moderation because it's harder. Anything to help me improve self control :)

    I actually believe this helps too and have been recently trying it with bringing Cool Whip back into my house. Eh, not working. The first tub lasted 3 weeks, the second tub lasted 1 week, this last tub? 2 days. It just takes sooooo much mental energy for me to NOT use it, that it's just not worth the struggle for me. So when this tub is gone....no more.
  • pants77
    pants77 Posts: 185 Member
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    Most people simply don't have the self-control to completely deny themselves all of the unhealthy delicious foods they love. We can hold on for a certain amount of time but the rubber band eventually snaps and a binge results.

    For people who can abstain, that's great. It's certainly ideal to not eat those unhealthy foods.

    For the rest of us, it's just building up pressure that's bound to explode sooner or later. It's much easier to keep your head balanced if you plan for the occasional treat and keep it within the boundaries of your diary and goals.

    I work in a lunch every couple weeks where I have a couple slices of pizza. This prevents me from spending a month thinking about nothing but pizza, and eventually caving and eating a whole pie.

    For some people, I'm sure abstention is easier. I am of the opinion that those lucky folks are the minority.
  • SARgirl
    SARgirl Posts: 572 Member
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    I'm definitely a moderator. If I try to abstain then that's all I think about and then eventually I fall off the wagon! I'm able to count out a serving size and be happy (usually) with that amount and satisfy my craving.
  • nurserae7
    nurserae7 Posts: 43 Member
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    "A piece of advice I often see is, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

    I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they try to make moderate changes, when they avoid absolutes and bright lines.

    For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

    Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

    I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often, two and even three times a day, I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

    There’s no right way or wrong way–it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. "

    So, what about you guys? Are you moderators or abstainers?

    For the rest of the article: http://happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2012/05/quiz-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

    THANK YOU!!!!!! I am so glad to hear someone else share this same thing. Though I have tried all of the "expert" advise, I still cannot be moderate. Especially with my sweet tooth. To partake in a little ALWAYS leads to more. I've often thought, that it's a good thing I don't drink or use drugs because I'd probably be an addict there as well. So, abstaining has been the only thing that has worked for me in the past. Sugar is my addiction and I have to stay away from it in order to lose weight. Thanks again for the post. It encouraged me that I'm not alone!! :smile:
  • sanjoparolas
    sanjoparolas Posts: 557 Member
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    This is a great question and discussion. I would put myself in the abstainer camp. I have a hard time having moderate amounts of sugar, but if I can have none then that's just the way it is (not currently limiting sugar though as my diary will confirm). I am super happy with my plant-based diet. I do occasionally have other foods when out with friends (like at high tea yesterday) but it works for me to think, "what is the most awesome plant-based food that sounds good right now?" and then to enjoy the heck out of that!
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    I'm definitely a moderator. I have no problem eating one scoop of ice cream or 2 slices of pizza. Having kids makes it easier because you always have someone to share with. When I was younger and I would eat something "bad", I thought "Oh well, I may as well eat 2000 more calories now." I am so glad I have gotten past that, because now I can have anything I want, and just eat a little of it.
  • kikilieb
    kikilieb Posts: 118 Member
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    I also tend to question those who claim they do/believe in "everything in moderation." I've witnessed far too many people proudly claim this mantra, when in reality, their extremism only surfaces in different areas in their life. ...maybe I'm just a little jealous that they can enjoy a small treat; meanwhile, if I attempt to do the same, a war is raged inside my head, lol.

    Oh yes, I think you're on to something here. I live by the, "everything in moderation" mantra regarding my food diary, however... i end up totally obessing about ridiculous things, like, "is my paper folded EXACTLY square at the corners."

    It's totally nuts!

    The only thing i've ever had to quit cold turkey is cigarettes. If I have one of those babies, it's over!
  • cuddyfanone
    cuddyfanone Posts: 4
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    It really is this simple. Don't buy it. It won't be there. The choice is made because there is none to be made. Btw, you people kick butt. You're all encouraging with what you have achieved. Congratulations. :drinker:
  • boggsmeister
    boggsmeister Posts: 292 Member
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    I am a moderator on most things. There are other things I simply can't have in the house. My biggest weaknesses are lemonade and limeade. If they are there I will drink them. So, I don't buy them at the grocery store.
  • MrGonzo05
    MrGonzo05 Posts: 1,120 Member
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    If I want to avoid a food, I don't keep it at home. Guess I'm not a moderator. :smile:

    Not the perfect solution but it helps.

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