Confession
Replies
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I'd cancel the card, cut it up, get the most recent card statement, and try to get a plan on how you are going to get the funds together to pay off the card...
Perhaps you can sell stuff on Ebay, or find a part-time job (not sure of your employment situation)?
Mostly, be sorry, don't try to defend keeping the secret. Don't try to blame others for your actions. The very best apologies are unconditional. No "I'm sorry if" statements. Just, "Honey, I'm sorry. I messed up, and I'm very embarrassed. Please forgive me."
Good luck!0 -
No matter how you break it to him...you're fooked.0
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Anyone keep a secret from their SO? I have a credit card that I have racked up over $1600.....my DH knows nothing about it as it's in my name. I'm coming clean tonight....it's gonna get ugly. SIGH. Any advice?
Nevermind, read it again to check. Uh, my parents were in the same spot. My dad was in charge of paying the cc bills. He would hand my mom a cc and she would spend max $500 on it. And then what ever, well they started getting collection calls. Mom had no idea. well daddy wasn't paying and she flipped out. Since she thought he had it under control. They were like probably close to $10,000 in debt.
Edit to add: I'd see if you can pay it off little by little, or if you are really strapped for cash and need help. If you can pay it off without telling him, I wouldn't. If you can't I would.0 -
Is it bad that my advice is to figure out how to pay it off yourself without having to 'fess up????0
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Meh... just be honest about it. My DH and I both have our own credit cards that we both use at our descretion.... We just are honest about how much is charged to them... especially if one asks.0
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Is it bad that my advice is to figure out how to pay it off yourself without having to 'fess up????
PATTI!
You're doing the best thing by owning up to it. The dread you're feeling is the worst part. And while it's no small amount of money it's also not the end of the world. A few months of being dedicated and you'll get it paid off.0 -
Is it bad that my advice is to figure out how to pay it off yourself without having to 'fess up????PATTI!
You're doing the best thing by owning up to it. The dread you're feeling is the worst part. And while it's no small amount of money it's also not the end of the world. A few months of being dedicated and you'll get it paid off.
What??!!! It's not like he asked about it and she lied. He doesn't even know about it. If she can pay it off, why tell him? Now, if she can't pay it off on her own, she's going to have to tell him. Maybe I only like confessing to priests, Brett. Ever think of that?
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eek I hate to say it but it sucks to be you lol.
No I don't keep things from my husband because I wouldn't want him to keep things from me. My husband is my best friend and I tell him everything.0 -
DO NOT cancel the card.
Pay it off as quickly as you can. If you're worried about spending that much again, give it to your SO to just buy gas with once a month.
But canceling a card puts a black mark on your credit report.
If it makes you feel any better, I have 116,000 in student loan debt and 5k in credit card debt.
1600 isn't really that much. Just tell your husband, and come up with a plan to pay it off. No biggie! 0 -
Is it bad that my advice is to figure out how to pay it off yourself without having to 'fess up????PATTI!
You're doing the best thing by owning up to it. The dread you're feeling is the worst part. And while it's no small amount of money it's also not the end of the world. A few months of being dedicated and you'll get it paid off.
What??!!! It's not like he asked about it and she lied. He doesn't even know about it. If she can pay it off, why tell him? Now, if she can't pay it off on her own, she's going to have to tell him. Maybe I only like confessing to priests, Brett. Ever think of that?
Patti I simply adore you. And I can only imagine the walk in closet of skeletons you must have...0 -
Why tell now? What has changed? If nothing has changed and you just feel guilty then pay it off and say nothing.
Why make him doubt your honesty in other areas if its not essential?0 -
Why tell now? What has changed? If nothing has changed and you just feel guilty then pay it off and say nothing.
Why make him doubt your honesty in other areas if its not essential?
Thank you! I say this especially because she said it's going to get ugly.0 -
Patti I simply adore you. And I can only imagine the walk in closet of skeletons you must have...
Apparently you do not understand how the priestly confession works. Clean slate, skeletons all removed! (for any of my Catholic friends who may see this, I'm totally kidding!!!)0 -
We really don't keep secrets because they only hurt us both in the end. This is something I would confess right away and probably ask for his moral support on.
I'm terrible with money. My husband knows this. So, we keep our finances separate, and he helps me think through my thought process when I feel like blowing all of my money on stupid ****. Because we are so understanding of each other's particular struggles, he never gets mad at me for being bad with my money, etc. When he buys a cool new toy, he does remind me (in a respectful way!) that I too could have the new Sony tablet if I hadn't spent all of my monies on shoes and purses last month.
Which burned especially hard last month because my laptop battery is now fried.0 -
Anyone keep a secret from their SO? I have a credit card that I have racked up over $1600.....my DH knows nothing about it as it's in my name. I'm coming clean tonight....it's gonna get ugly. SIGH. Any advice?
It's better to come clean while you CAN make payments, than box yourself in and be forced to admit it when you can't make the payments anymore.
Take Dave Ramsey's FPU class and stop working at cross-purposes about money for good.0 -
Don't spend money you don't have and you won't have that problem again.
In the meantime, tell the truth and figure out how to fix it. Don't expect him to fix it for you.0 -
sounds like you will be working nights. Sorry about the debt.
My wife didn't pay a cent on her student loans for two years and didn't tell me. I had to shell out thousands of dollars and beg my parents for money to help out. All because she wouldn't tell me. it was so bad that she was a month away from getting money taken directly out of her paycheck.0 -
I'd cancel the card, cut it up, get the most recent card statement, and try to get a plan on how you are going to get the funds together to pay off the card...
Perhaps you can sell stuff on Ebay, or find a part-time job (not sure of your employment situation)?
Mostly, be sorry, don't try to defend keeping the secret. Don't try to blame others for your actions. The very best apologies are unconditional. No "I'm sorry if" statements. Just, "Honey, I'm sorry. I messed up, and I'm very embarrassed. Please forgive me."
Good luck!
This!!0 -
One word: oral.
Make sure you tell him face-to-face, and not in written form.0 -
Honesty is the best policy, even if it will cause a bit of a tiff. Life will go on...0
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Performing sex acts usually helps.0
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No matter how you break it to him...you're fooked.
:laugh: I came on here to say this!0 -
I'm incapable of keeping secrets from my husband. I just have this irrational need for him to know all the good, the bad, and the downright ugly about me. That way, when he continues to love me, I know he loves all of me.0
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Just tell him, and start a plan to pay it off.. that's not a whole lot, so it won't take long. Just take all your extra money and put it toward it every month. It will be gone in no time and you can move past it.0
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Cancelling a credit card does not put a black mark on your credit report. Some companies may think it looks funny if you start and cancel a bunch of cards within a year....but it doesn't hurt your credit at all.
How do i know this? I've cancelled cards I don't want to use anymore and check my credit yearly. All's well, and I have great credit.0 -
can you pay it off by at least half and then break it to him if you still want to? It won't sound so bad then...*shrugs* I don't know0
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Send him a text message that says "Honey, I'm sorry I racked up lots of money on a secret credit card. My bad :-( Ill make it up to you! :-) LOL"
The :-( and :-) and LOL will make him forgive you.0 -
That's not that big of a deal. Usher had a bigger Confession than that.a few years ago.0
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My husband kept his card a secret from me right until the point that they cancelled the card and started calling the house... it was almost divorce and I love him more than anything. His money is mine, my money is his. We are in this TOGETHER. IT didn't matter that the card was in his name only... Marriage is 50/50. Just my opinion..0
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Wait a sec - is this something your SO has (or has had) a hand in paying off (or at least the monthlies)? If not, come up with a plan to pay it and go about your business. While my SO and I keep most of our finances separate, I surely don't give her reports on my spending habits (though she can probably guess from all the Amazon boxes that come to the door) :blushing:
eta - oops, I just saw you refer to him as DH so you very well may combine $..0
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