Friends in the RED - to delete or not to delete??

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  • Caitlinhappymeal
    Caitlinhappymeal Posts: 185 Member
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    delete! IMHO 78 friends are too many to offer genuine support too, i have 30 and its manageable and we all interact, if anyone goes into the red i send them a message asking if everything is ok and offer support and encouragement, some respond saying thanks it was just what they needed, and some don't, those that fall into some don’t category are deleted and this gives me a vacancy for somebody more worthy of my time and support xx
  • clairyfairy247
    clairyfairy247 Posts: 425 Member
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    I personally delete them. If they are new to MFP, go on it for 3 days and then haven't been back on for 3 months, I get rid.

    Saying that, if it is someone who has been supportive to me or someone I chat to regularly and then they are inactive for 3 months, I would probably keep them. It doesn't do any harm to keep people around. It's not like there is a limit to how many friends you can have!
  • sisterlilbunny
    sisterlilbunny Posts: 691 Member
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    I don't care if someone goes over red on their daily diary. I'm not their mom or the diet police. They're here for a reason. I'm not going to judge, just support.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    have you clicked into their profile?. I had one guy I had been supporting & getting comments on my profile from who didn't log in for a few days, I clicked into his profile to see if he has made a note about going away & his profile had been deactivated. Needless to say I cleared him off my list. Maybe do the same, see if they have made note about going someonwhere or being busy but generally I give everyone 7 days without notice.
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
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    78 friends...How many do you need for support? Not trying to be a jerk, but I have trouble keeping up with the dozen or so I have.
  • solarpower03
    solarpower03 Posts: 12,160 Member
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    I delete inactive friends and those who don't comment, leave constructive feedback and I continue to do so for them. So, no non-reciprocating friends are on my list.
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
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    Delete
  • cloggsy71
    cloggsy71 Posts: 2,208 Member
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    I delete 'most' red friends... but some long term ones I keep, I do a MFP cull every so often to.


    Feel free to add me


    PEACE

    Ditto!

    P.S. Come on England!!!
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    This may sound cold, but the people you add to your friends list are supposed to be as much of an example and support network for YOU as you are supposed to be for them. IMO you are allowed to friend or defriend anyone you want to from your list, especially if you know they aren't trying or are doing things in their diet that you totally disagree with. (IE someone weighing in at 270 setting their calorie goal for 1200 a day just to lose weight faster as opposed to in a more healthy way.)

    Going in the red once in a while happens to all of us. If people are constantly in the red (day after day after day, for 7 days straight let's say..) and they are griping about inadequate weight loss, then to ME they aren't serious about losing weight, and no amount of input is going to change the numbers for them.

    I feel that if you have left a message or two over the course of time encouraging them to drink more, or make better food choices, etc and they persist in doing it their own way and you don't feel good about it, then drop them. You are by no means obligated to babysit any adult on here or be upset with yourself for wanting to surround yourself with better examples that you hold yourself to.
  • TamaraGraceS
    TamaraGraceS Posts: 273 Member
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    I love this! I don't delete for that reason. We are here to support and feel what kind of friends are we if we only think of ourselves. Those are the people who one day might give up cause there was noboby there to support them. My luv for my MFP girlfriends is unconditional.
    Just a thought... Maybe its your friends in the RED who really need more support.
  • myf1101
    myf1101 Posts: 99
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    I have a cull every couple of weeks and if someone has been in the red for more than 2 weeks then I delete them, unless they have previosly said they are away.
  • wwoelbel
    wwoelbel Posts: 23
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    Do you know them outside of MFP? If not, what purpose does maintaining a friendship without any communication serve? Tossing someone that you regularly chat with if they dont show up for a few days maybe a bit premature but ditching Bob565 (sorry Bob if you are a real user) who you have never directly communicated with and has not logged in for a month is no loss and without some level of communication, there wasnt a supportive relationship to begin with.

    Executive summary: Maybe.... It depends....
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I love this! I don't delete for that reason. We are here to support and feel what kind of friends are we if we only think of ourselves. Those are the people who one day might give up cause there was noboby there to support them. My luv for my MFP girlfriends is unconditional.
    Just a thought... Maybe its your friends in the RED who really need more support.

    Again, I repeat the question... how can they be supported if they do not use the website?

    Oh... and support goes both ways... if they aren't using the site, then they aren't supporting me.
  • KBGirts
    KBGirts Posts: 882 Member
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    I'm in the red almost everyday.... and still losing. What difference does it make?
  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
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    I love this! I don't delete for that reason. We are here to support and feel what kind of friends are we if we only think of ourselves. Those are the people who one day might give up cause there was noboby there to support them. My luv for my MFP girlfriends is unconditional.
    Just a thought... Maybe its your friends in the RED who really need more support.

    Again, I repeat the question... how can they be supported if they do not use the website?

    Being in the red means they have gone over on their calories. They ARE using the site...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I'm in the red almost everyday.... and still losing. What difference does it make?

    The OP meant in the red with days logged in.
  • balddonnie
    balddonnie Posts: 32
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    Consider each person as an individual, make your choice based on the person not the fact that they are in the red.
  • KBGirts
    KBGirts Posts: 882 Member
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    I'm in the red almost everyday.... and still losing. What difference does it make?

    The OP meant in the red with days logged in.

    Oh.... nevermind. Okay!
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    ^^^ wrong kind of in the red!
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I think you and all the other users who have posted the same question today should friend each other then you won't have to worry about friends who don't log on. How many times can a question get posted in a day?

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