Friends in the RED - to delete or not to delete??

Options
1235

Replies

  • miracole
    miracole Posts: 492 Member
    Options
    I tend not to delete friends at all, I mean if they are in the red I figure at least they're being honest about logging their calories (after all they could easily just log in half of what they're eating) and if they end up taking a break? as some people have said, life happens. For example, last week my entire house flooded due to a crack in an upstairs toilet and now I am living off the charity of dear friends while my entire house gets gutted and rebuilt. I'm still logging but I'll admit that I have been stress eating and my intake is not nearly as well thought out as normal. Sometimes a day can just be so ****ty that chocolate and fried food is a mandatory. If my "friends" on MFP judged me for it or got rid of me I'd be better off without them, after all a weight-loss journey is a personal thing, the friends option on here is for us to lend support and make contacts/share ideas, not to judge each other!
  • jzaz903
    jzaz903 Posts: 306 Member
    Options
    I delete people when they're not IRL friends, and haven't logged for about 2 months. Even IRL friends, I talk to them and if they have no plan on coming back I delete them.

    One time, a MFP friend that I had deleted requested my friendship again. She wrote a little note with her request about how she was getting back on track, and wanted my support again. I gained a lot of respect for her then, and I've supported her since. It took a lot I lady-balls to come back, and I have major respect for her.
  • chrystee
    chrystee Posts: 295 Member
    Options
    i wish I had the option for MFP for me to just uncheck the "so and so hasn't logged in for XX many days".
  • ji225
    ji225 Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    Wow!

    I am amazed that you would even think of deleting them for being in the red, or for not doing enough exercise or whatever??? as long as they are not offending you or saying bad things you dont agree with, why would you delete them??
    Seriously , you are making it sound like it all 'friends' dont confirm to your strict rules then they are out! perhaps you shoudl have aske them to sign somethign that told them the MFP friendship rules when you first friended them??
    Maybe they need to eat more and the low clas set here on MFP are not enough? Jeez they may be your friends on here, but clearly mean nothing to you really if you can be so fickle.

    I'm a bit shocked by this discussion to be honest!
  • KiwiKim25
    KiwiKim25 Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Are you at your cap for number of friends allowed? If so, that makes sense to delete people if you feel you need more support. If you still have room for more friends.. I don't see how it would matter that they're in the red... Unless you feel bad for not helping them?
  • sweetheart03622
    sweetheart03622 Posts: 928 Member
    Options
    I just chopped half my friends list yesterday. Now, I'm done to only those that are supportive and I'm able to better support them. It's a win-win!
  • helencita13
    helencita13 Posts: 76 Member
    Options
    lol the misunderstandings are cracking me up - People, she doesn't mean those that aren't achieving their goals! She means those that are not logging in for a noticeable amount of time.

    I was wondering the same thing myself a few days ago. My problem is, the majority of my friends who haven't logged in for 2-3 months (I've only been here 3.5), are my real life friends!

    For others, I take it on a case by case basis. My time frame is 2+ months of not logging in and after I have messaged them for encouragement in effort to bring them back - also depends on the type of friend when they were here. If they didn't return the support then I chop them. While I'm sensitive to the possibility they might need support now more than ever, I'm confident I've given it a reasonable amount of time. Besides, it's not like we REALLY know each other, and I need supportive friends too.

    18580408.png
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    Options
    If I got derailed for months I would probably want to start fresh with new friends anyway. I wouldn't want to have to explain myself to an old set of fit pals who have stuck to it and lost tons while I was wasting time.

    But that is just me.


    I agree with this, too.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Options
    lol the misunderstandings are cracking me up - People, she doesn't mean those that aren't achieving their goals! She means those that are not logging in for a noticeable amount of time.
    Your lack of reading comprehension is worrisome. Did you not see the title of the thread and the first paragraph of the original post?
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
    Options
    Wow!

    I am amazed that you would even think of deleting them for being in the red, or for not doing enough exercise or whatever??? as long as they are not offending you or saying bad things you dont agree with, why would you delete them??
    Seriously , you are making it sound like it all 'friends' dont confirm to your strict rules then they are out! perhaps you shoudl have aske them to sign somethign that told them the MFP friendship rules when you first friended them??
    Maybe they need to eat more and the low clas set here on MFP are not enough? Jeez they may be your friends on here, but clearly mean nothing to you really if you can be so fickle.

    I'm a bit shocked by this discussion to be honest!


    The post is not about eating a certain amount of calories... lol
  • PlumeriaTattoo
    PlumeriaTattoo Posts: 21 Member
    Options
    What exactly does it hurt to keep friends that are inactive? I don't even understand why this is an issue. If they aren't active now, they're just a name on a list, right? But if you are truly interested in supporting them, leave them as friends and if they come back you'll be there.
  • gostumpy
    gostumpy Posts: 156 Member
    Options
    Wow at everyone thinking that this post is about deleting people that don't reach their goals!

    Click My Home, then click Friends. You'll see anyone that hasn't logged on in over a week have their last login date in RED.

    THAT is what this is about!
  • kcragg
    kcragg Posts: 239 Member
    Options
    I cull my list every now and again. If someone hasn't logged in for three weeks or over (I leave it three weeks in case they are on holiday . I send them a message asking if all is OK, if I get no response then I delete. You cannot support someone if they don't login.

    I would expect the same if I decided not to login for 3 weeks or more.
  • Cat_from_Chicago
    Cat_from_Chicago Posts: 95 Member
    Options
    Every once in a while, I delete friends who have not logged in for a particular time... I don't need a list full of people just for the sake of saying I have X amount of friends. I'm ok with have one or two friends if their the only people who are dedicated to logging & supporting. In fact, it's be easier that way rather than having tons of ppl I can't keep up with, lol

    As another poster said, I'd expect the same. If I fall off the wagon & I can't be supportive why hold my friends hostage?
  • DMUND
    DMUND Posts: 299 Member
    Options
    Too funny! Yes he is my hubby. I got him started, but he's not real good with the computer. He has been doing better, just not logging. I will have to get on him to get with the program!!! HEHE....love that you pointed this out!

    It looks like your husband ( I assume) hasn't logged in 8 days, this just got interesting!:laugh:

    Just playing around.:tongue:
  • engodwin
    engodwin Posts: 516 Member
    Options
    If they don't contribute positively to you then dump 'em. :)

    This is my motto for life!
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    Options
    The only reason I've ever deleted anyone is that I found them offensive or incredibly annoying. Heh. I don't even have the time to review my friends list.. I've probably been deleted by some and don't even know it. Oh well!
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
    Options
    I hate to point out the obvious, but if you have been eating at your cal goal and then decided to reduce it even 100 cals, all your previous entries will show in the red. MFP does not keep each diary to the days cal goals. All diary entries are compared to the goals you have set for today.

    Having said all that, this is why my diary is closed. What a judgemental twatt.
  • rchupka87
    rchupka87 Posts: 543 Member
    Options
    I hate to point out the obvious, but if you have been eating at your cal goal and then decided to reduce it even 100 cals, all your previous entries will show in the red. MFP does not keep each diary to the days cal goals. All diary entries are compared to the goals you have set for today.

    Having said all that, this is why my diary is closed. What a judgemental twatt.

    AGAINNN - this thread has NOTHING to do with the number of calories you eat. Go to your friends list. If they haven't logged in in a few days - they're name is red. THIS is her question. Do you delete someone who doesn't participate in the site. They don't log in, haven't for a week, month, whatever.
  • DMUND
    DMUND Posts: 299 Member
    Options
    OK...time for some clarification. Thanks for all the comments, however, things seem to have gotten side-tracked. To me, "in the RED' was when a MFP friend hasn't been logging in for an X amount of weeks/months. When I would send a message and get no response. This tells me that they are not active with MFP. Are these the ones you delete??

    I'm sorry that many of you misunderstood my intentions. I will support everyone and anyone who is consciously putting forth the effort for a healthy lifestyle.

    I do not consider myself judgemental or picky. And no, my MFP pals do not need to sign a contract with me. I'm here to support the ones that are on here on a regular basis and in return I am getting support back. This is how it should be.

    The ones that keep their diary closed tells me they have something to hide. Why not open it so you can get feedback?? Are you embarrassed, ashamed, not being honest with your journal??? There has to be something not quite right if you don't have it open. I started with mine closed and found that opening it up has helped me tremendously. I appreciate all the feedback I get, both the positive and the negative. This is what will help to make me successful.

    Ok...enough is enough. :D
    Hope everyone has a great day!!!

    And, after all the criticism, if you still want to be my friend, feel free to add me.
    I hate to delete anyone from my friend's list. However, there are getting to be quite a few that are in the RED....a couple days here and there, ok...I'm fine with that. But "months", do I let them go and make room for new, supportive friends??

    I would love to have lots of supportive friends. I am also torn as to delete the inactive ones, maybe they are going through a rough patch and will need the support when they get back on?? What are your thoughts??

    Also, I'd love to support more people and have more people support me....so, if you like to join my "circle of friends", please send me a short message as to why you feel we'd make a great support system for each other.

    Thanks! :D

Categories