huge rant!

That is a very strange friend. Thats not a friend if shes doing that. I would tell her up front that your upset with her.

If u know ur getting used put a stop to it. Theres always ppl in this world that will climb all over you to get there own way and manipulate you. Trust me I know. I used to be a bodyguard and that world is full of spiteful, sneeky, greedy men. I'm in the UK. Bodyguard work used to pay £1000+ per week but I decided to stand my ground, grip the a**holes and work for far less. Beleive it or not I'm way happier now. Don't be so submissive to her, stand ur ground. She might not like it the first time but she'll see you mean it and odds are she'll also respect u more.

I try to see the GOOD in her but everyday it seems to fade. I did tell her all this and it ended up with a huge fight ...

Honey, I had a best friend exactly like yours. She was my best friend for 9 years, someone I considered a sister. She was tall, blonde and blue eyed, and thinner than I was even though she was still chunky. She was outgoing, unafraid to flirt regardless of age or relationship status. She let her boyfriends hate me because of jokes she'd put me up to. The only guy she dated that tolerated me ended up a psycho. She envied my relationship with my mother, she envied my drawing talent and was constantly trying to copy my work and style.

She would cut off a conversation with me with no warning to talk to 10 other people, mostly guys, and return to me hours later. I was always her shoulder, she was barely ever mine. I spent hundreds on her in gifts, driving her places, paying for concerts and events and food, and she'd return it with used stuff she got on eBay when she made more money than I did.

Long story short, when I began dating and she wasn't at the time she tried to sabotage my relationship, she never wanted to hear my problems because I "had a man who could do the listening", and she still took up my time with her problems even though she wanted a man to fix them. The last two years I spent with her, if she was in my house or I was with her physically at a place after a few hours I was ready to kill her because she was so self-absorbed that personal property and time wasn't her problem. The last thing we ever did together was go to a concert of her favorite band. I ended up having an asthma attack because it was smoker-friendly (which I didn't know) and, this is the kicker, after the concert I had every band member that was out on the floor signing stuff looking for ME. Why? They wanted to see if I was OK and apologize about the venue. All she wanted to do was eye-hump a band member and make cutesy eyes at him, then she went and spilled coffee in the back seat of my car, didn't tell me, and I found out when I realized after I got home there was an empty Starbucks cup on the floor.

I kicked her out of my life. The night I did she posted all over Facebook that she was going to get sloshed because of me. She, two years later, managed to grab another old friend and made her contact me and basically call me a heartless cow because I was no longer their friends.

People like that are cancer. They're toxic. Their crap consumes your life more than your own problems do because they shove it right up your nose and into your brain. That's not a friend. A friend can be concerned about your relationship if there's visible problems, but they don't just demand you leave them because of their opinion. A friend doesn't want their SOs to hate you because it's funny, that's sadistic. I don't know what she was when you began being friends, but she's not a friend anymore. She's a cyst, a tumor, a clot in your arteries ready and willing to kill you and all you enjoy/love in your life at any moment.

Please tell her to hit the pavement and keep going. You don't deserve that crap. I put up with one of her kind 9 years longer than I should have just because I deluded myself things could get better if we talked about her behavior, if I did more than what was necessary of me as a friend for her to show her what a friend really was. None of it worked. People that far into themselves and their twisted sense of humors and opinions can't be reached that way, they probably can't ever be reached and in the end what they give us is not worth us trying.

Sometimes it easier to blame others for our failures than ourselves. I should know. I'm the one who puts the food in my mouth. I'm the one who made myself a diabetic. I'm the only one to fix me. No éxcuses. You allow her to manipulate you.

oh honey she needs to grow up! find someone new! that is not worth the headache

I agree and I also think the OP needs to grow up as well.

this so called friend must have some self esteem issues of her own so she tries to drag you down to make herself feel better about herself. Personally, I would tell her to stop with the BS or the friendship isn't gonna last much longer. Friends should be there for each other and supporting each other. Myself, I don't give a rats *kitten* what people think of me or what I do with my life. If they have an issue I bid them farewell. Hope you have a great weekend and best of luck at reaching your goals and with your situation.