How tacky is this? Vow Renewal / Giant Party

PinkEarthMama
PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
in Chit-Chat
Quick Background :

Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

Thoughts?
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Replies

  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
    I'd just call it an anniversary party and then surprise everyone with the vow renewal. That way, you can tell everyone not to bring gifts--just a note in the invitations that says something to the effect of : Please, no gifts. Your company on our anniversary *is* your gift to us!

    Btw, congrats and have a wonderful time!
  • NikkiLS28
    NikkiLS28 Posts: 43
    I think it sounds like a great idea. You're celebrating your marriage and the health of your family - great reason to party! :)
  • Noki1024
    Noki1024 Posts: 302
    No that is not tacky. You have been through a lot it sounds like and now you are finally able to celebrate with those you love and cherish the most. My hubby and I did this for our 10 year anniversary.
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    not tacky at all.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?
    Sucks that they have no joy in their life. Don't let it rub off on yours. Marriage is a great thing that should be celebrated however you feel best.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    I heard there was drinking at your party. . . .


    Sounds like a great idea. Do eet.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I really don't think it's tacky at all....you didn't get the party you were planning for obvious reasons...why not have it now?!?!? Call it a vow renewal and just love it....

    if anyone calls it tacky they are either jealous or not listening to you...

    what on earth is wrong with celebrating your love a second time? or 8 million times for that matter?
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    Tacky would be asking for gifts. Have a big party for your friends and family. Renew your vows and have everyone together to celebrate that life is good.
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Not tacky at all!

    A) I think wedding vow renewal ceremonies are sweet and romantic.

    B) It sounds like you and your husband have been through a lot. You deserve to celebrate with your family and friends!!!
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    Honestly I think you are the best.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Not tacky, how could renewing your vows ever be tacky.

    Go for it, enjoy it, and have a great time.
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member
    I think it sounds amazing :) Enjoy your vow renewal!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Well, you couldn't really help the situation you were in, and you're giving your family a chance to experience the wedding. I've always been told that the wedding isn't just for the couple getting married, but also for their families. Your family probably wants to share in this experience with you and share your happiness. I don't think it's tacky what so ever. Now that your daughter is better I'm sure you guys can have no other worries during your wedding. :flowerforyou:
  • MDawg81
    MDawg81 Posts: 244 Member
    It's your occasion, no one else can decide if it's tacky or not. It may be tacky to them, but thankfully they aren't the one involved.
  • k011185
    k011185 Posts: 320 Member
    pfft, I don't think it sounds the least bit tacky, I think it sounds great!

    We know a couple that has a vow renewal every 5 years, they throw a full on wedding. Big white dress, bridesmaids, gift registry... I have to admit that gets old fast. (especially the gift registry, lol). Maybe that was what the person was thinking of when they told you it was tacky?
  • mcmdazy
    mcmdazy Posts: 5 Member
    Are you kidding? Tacky? No way its great! Yes wear a dress of some kind! Feel like a bride! Do what makes you happy! Congrats in advance!!!!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    I think it's great. For my 5th anniversary I'm thinking of doing something similar. A couple of days before our wedding we had to postpone it because my husband's sister needed emergency surgery. None of our friends were able to make it for the new date and it was a big bummer. So for our 5th anniversary I want to have a big party and maybe a vow renewal with all our friends.
  • lissymae11
    lissymae11 Posts: 71
    I think it sounds great! People should be happy for you - and who doesn't love a party? :)
  • jamm2000
    jamm2000 Posts: 79
    I don't think that's tacky at all. Lot's of people celebrate anniversaries. And with just the history of what you've been through, surely your guests will understand what you are doing and why. Don't invite whoever said it was tacky, LOL.
  • zoegator
    zoegator Posts: 165 Member
    Not tacky! Celebrate your marriage with your family and friends! As well as celebrating your (hopefully doing better) daughter's health!
  • faithstephenson
    faithstephenson Posts: 280 Member
    It is not tacky at all! Go for it:) if they don't want to be a part of it, so be it, but plenty of people do this kind of thing, when either they didn't get to do the big ceremony in the beginning, or they've gotten through some really tough times, and want to acknlowledge their journey.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    Somehow, I knew this was a post from you. Probably because it's the same thing you've posted on every thread I've seen you on. Maybe you should write a book with this being the thesis, maybe make some money off of it.
  • angelicarubi
    angelicarubi Posts: 148 Member
    Not tacky at all.... go for it and have a blast you deserve it and so does your family sounds iike you have all been through so much.
  • sun33082
    sun33082 Posts: 416 Member
    I don't see how this is tacky at all. Even if you expected gifts, it's a milestone anniversary and you didn't have a wedding/reception the first time anyway. If I was invited, I'd bring a gift whether you said to or not. It sound like you deserve it. But maybe I'm tacky lol
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
    It's a beautiful idea and you and your family deserve a celebration!
  • Awake_Alive
    Awake_Alive Posts: 261 Member


    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    ^^^This for SURE! Do it. Phuck the haters ;)
  • mamamudbug
    mamamudbug Posts: 572 Member
    Go for it. People in my area do it all the time.
  • CCJ13
    CCJ13 Posts: 165 Member
    Not tacky at all. Forget about the ones who say it is tacky & don't invite them ;) I had a wedding but I just got a reception at the church. I would love to do a vow renewal & have a big party. Maybe for my 20th anniversary......
  • starcatcher1975
    starcatcher1975 Posts: 292 Member
    My brother is getting married for the second time and they are having a small ceremony. They are dressing up for it (wedding gown, tux, etc) but on their invitations they put something along the lines of "We are fortunate enough to have everything necessary to start our lives together, so we sincerely request no gifts." This is a second marriage for both of them and they are both established in their careers. If you send out invites/evites/whatever, maybe you can do something like that. Just let people know you just want them to share in your joy, not give you stuff.

    I say have a party and have fun and who ever said it was tacky is a little strange. Why is is tacky to celebrate your anniversary and want your friends to join you? I'd leave that person at home, they don't sound fun anyway. But I'm tired, so maybe I missed something. I'll have to read it again :laugh:

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