How tacky is this? Vow Renewal / Giant Party

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Replies

  • hoppinglark
    hoppinglark Posts: 213 Member
    I assume that anyone you care enough about to invite, would already know your story.
    So the "problem" takes care of itself.
  • bewitchinglife
    bewitchinglife Posts: 167 Member
    I think you should do whatever your heart desires.

    My aunt had a BBQ at her house for friends and family and threw a surprise wedding for herself and her longtime beau. It was a shocker for even her children. Totally fun, and not awkward gift things to worry about.

    Do what makes you happy. Hubs and I have thought about doing something similar as we had a private ceremony and wish we had a chance to celebrate with our friends. If people think it's tacky, they don't get it.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    i don't think it is tacky at all. it is your party, you can do whatever you want.
  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
    That sounds lovely!!!! Take lots of pictures!!! :flowerforyou:

    And, you know, if you want to start a thread to help you pick out a dress, I'm sure LOTS of us on here would just love to help out. :bigsmile:
  • StrawberrySt
    StrawberrySt Posts: 235
    I think you overwhelmingly have your answer! You deserve a special day and having a big party with your family and friends sounds awesome.

    Just don't invite whoever said it was tacky!!!
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
    Thank you all for the great responses! I feel much better.

    We won't specifcally say NOT to give gifts.... we just won't mention it at all!
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    Somehow, I knew this was a post from you. Probably because it's the same thing you've posted on every thread I've seen you on. Maybe you should write a book with this being the thesis, maybe make some money off of it.

    I'm having it printed on t-shirts. And my left butt cheek.

    Somehow, I don't think you want your butt to stop giving a s***."

    Excellent point.
  • wurgin
    wurgin Posts: 241 Member
    i love it, it is your turn. have a great time!
  • Kandygirl
    Kandygirl Posts: 249 Member
    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    this man know what he's talkin about
  • runlorirun
    runlorirun Posts: 389
    Not tacky at all! You deserve to have the reception you missed out on.
  • tessgolden
    tessgolden Posts: 5
    I think it is a great Idea. Go for it and have a wonderful party for friends and family.
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    NOT TACKY!! Sounds like a nice idea!! Do it and enjoy it :flowerforyou:
  • Kirabelly
    Kirabelly Posts: 60
    Not tacky at all. I think it's fabulous and you go ahead and do it up however you want, girl! You deserve to celebrate your marriage with friends and family, even five years later. God bless.
  • Stutz77
    Stutz77 Posts: 113
    I don't think it's tacky at all. In fact me and my hubby are going to be doing something similar. We were planing on getting married in October of 2003 when he found out that he was getting deployed. So we got married a year earlier in October 2002 and did the same thing as you and our hubby. Then I found I was getting deployed and the next thing we new almost 10 years have gone by. We are looking at doing a small renewal at a beach and then having a party with our family and closest friends. Same as you not asking for anything, just to finaly share with everyone. Plus I feel you had a very valid point and your life was going through so much at that time. Who gives a crap what others think! Party on!!!
  • WestCoastRed
    WestCoastRed Posts: 18 Member
    There's nothing tacky about what you're doing. People who have suggested it would be tacky - don't have to come. It's beautiful when people share their love with family and friends and celebrate the longevity of a relationship. Good on you!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I think it's a beautiful idea, one that celebrates you, gives you what other people get when they are getting married, and hopefully symbolizes your daughter's improved health (I didn't read the whole thread.)

    I also think what would be tacky is people NOT giving you gifts. Do whatever makes you happy, including sending out engraved wedding invitations and bridal party if you'd like those things.
  • Altarian
    Altarian Posts: 230 Member
    I say those who say this is tacky need to be kicked in the face with a steel toed stiletto heel. If i would have had my way with my second marriage, after all the bs that was my first marriage, it would have been this way. But because it was her first marriage we did it her way so that it made her happy.
  • sawebber
    sawebber Posts: 15
    That's not tacky at all. Whoever said that is a straight b word or just plain jealous! Have the wedding you never had the time for.It's never tacky to renew your vows or show the world how much you love one another. People will probably bring gifts anyway,hehe.
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I don't see how that is tacky. A lot of people do that. Hell we were planning on doing the same for our 5 year next year.
  • engodwin
    engodwin Posts: 516 Member
    DO IT! Doesn't sound tacky or cheap or stupid or any other negative thing people might say - People are mean - do what your heart desires. :) Me, personally, I love the idea!
  • Neahpata
    Neahpata Posts: 322 Member

    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    Definitely not tacky at all. Especially since you are not asking for gifts. I think though if you do get gifts from people you should graciously accept instead of arguing.

    I actually think it sounds like a great idea. Go for it and have fun! :drinker:
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    Lol! Yes^ +1
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,064 Member
    We did a 10 year anniversary vow renewal in December. I think in your situation it is completely acceptable - we did it, not for the party and not for any other reason than our marriage has had a lot of struggle together - and we wanted to draw a line in the sand and say publicly, we've done the "worst" now lets move on to the best (we've struggled with infertility and were hoping that that portion of our life was behind us....it's not unfortunately).

    For you guys - the last 5 years have represented a lot of struggle too. You didn't have an opportunity to allow your friends and families to properly celebrate your marriage and I think it's really nice that you want to renew your vows and invite them to celebrate with you the love and strength that have gotten you this far. It's not a re-do, but a long overdue reception.

    I think you're on the right track about the celebration - no big white wedding dress (although some people do). I found the website idotaketwo.com (http://www.idotaketwo.com/vow_renewal_etiquette.html) a big help in terms of helping me come to an understanding of what I was going to want. Just before dinner, we stood up front, had a family member go through our vows with us again (no need for an officiant, since it's not legally binding) and then had the dinner. We said no gifts, but most people brought one, friends and family helped with the decorations and the cake. We had a ceramic plate done and all the guests signed it and it's now hanging in my home office and I remember the fun every time I look at it.
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
    I looked at idotaketwo.com and I am horrified that the moderators are so nasty. Pretty much everything is : It's not a wedding. No one will bring gifts. Do a private celebration.
  • Mel2626
    Mel2626 Posts: 342 Member
    Tacky?!? Some people are clueless!! Celebrating your lives together! What's tacky about that? Nothing!! Have fun and don't give a crap what anyone else thinks!!! Congrats!!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • keenercam
    keenercam Posts: 321 Member
    I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that, and I'd bet your family and friends would love the opportunity to celebrate your marriage and happiness. Of course, this is coming from a woman who did a full-blown vow renewal in our 25th year, complete with an extravagant, gorgeous wedding gown, tuxes for the men, our son (15) as best man, our daughter (20) as maid of honor, and a huge party. All of this was through Disney Fairy Tale Weddings at Walt Disney World, so there was even more for criticism if anyone was going to complain. Fortunately, all of our friends and family loved that we finally had the wedding of our dreams, and we were so excited to have an excuse to spoil our guests rotten and have a huge party in such a beautiful setting.
  • Spice_4_Life
    Spice_4_Life Posts: 225
    don't listen to anyone!!! Do what you guys want! I think it's a great idea :))))
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Tacky? It sounds wonderful, especially since your kids was in the hospital. I watched my son nearly die at age 4 due to autoimmune disease, it's terrible.

    If anyone *****es about sending gifts, send me a message and I'll chip in.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    ther person who said that is an idiot.
    thats my thoughts
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