LADIES HELP! a mother's struggle - what do MFPERS suggest?

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  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Do not put a child on a diet. Give her healthy foods, have her drink water, and increase her physical activity. That is all you need to do. Also, make sure you're making healthy food changes for everyone, not just the two of you.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    I'm going to agree with everyone who has said to get her to the doctor. There are reasons for weight gain... like kids' tendency to bulk up before a growth spurt, or less benign things like thyroid issues. Or it could just plain be too many calories in versus calories out, or any number of other things.

    Diet? No. Nutritional change for the whole family? (Even though the males don't have weight problems.) Yes. Get the whole family on board with something like a family walk or C25k, or just *anything*. By having just her do it, then it's going to seem like she's being punished for being bigger, but by getting everyone on board, then it's a family thing. It might be something she considers *lame*, but it's still something that everyone is doing, so she can suck it up and do it with them.
  • karen0214
    karen0214 Posts: 120 Member
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    Sounds like she has some hormonal issues. I don't see how a 10 yr old could eat enough to weigh that much. I'm sure you see what she eats and you would know if she's eating enough to put on that kind of weight. I would guess she is having some thyroid issues, but it could be something else. Definitely I don't think it's normal. You could take her to the doc and have some blood work done. You sound like a great mom and I'm sure you'll do what's best.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    At 10, your daughter is going to be going through puberty if she hasn't yet. A lot of girls put on weight in the midsection before puberty. My daughter did, and then in about a year, she grew 6 inches taller and is almost 5'7" now. She lost most of her tummy.

    I did not do anything to make her lose it. I tried to encourage her to ride bikes (I'd go for rides with her), but honestly, I didn't monitor her food.

    When I was a teen, I weighed 115 and was 5'7" and then gained until I was about 130. My mother would sometimes say I could stand to lose some weight. My brother called me fat, and a few kids at school teased me (boys, but in retrospect, they were probably trying to get attention).

    Anyway, the result was I felt fat even though I was a healthy BMI and very athletic build.


    So, try to build your daughter's confidence in herself first, then in sports and food choices. If she feels totally accepted and not as if her body is something to be critiqued and picked apart and the object of various diets, I bet she'll be okay.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    I just posted...don't make any foods forbidden...my friend at work told me about her mother wouldn't let her have candy or cookies growing up. My friend has a major sweet tooth now, and told me when she was a child, she would go to friends' and neighbors' houses...yes, asking for sweet treats!
  • jhigg11
    jhigg11 Posts: 121 Member
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    I think showing your child healthy food, and letting her experience/cook would be beneficial. Teach her about what her body needs for energy, and what it doesn't. You should teach how to read labels on food items and work on logging the food, and let her see how much she is consuming. When the school has people come in to talk about nicotine and the damages it can do to your health, my son comes home and pronounces that it is a disgusting habit and tells us all the information he was given, and that my in laws need to stop, because it will kill them. - That's an informed child. You can tell your child till she's blue in the face that something is bad for her, and she will continue to eat it, because she doesn't understand why. She needs someone to explain why! When you go through the label, you should tell her how much she should consume as far as calories, carbs, protein, sodium etc. Let her measure portions, so she can see how much the bag of chips they are actually saying is a serving. You should reward her with activities for doing some of these things they will benefit her through her life.
  • yustick
    yustick Posts: 238 Member
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    Never put a child on a diet. Provide healthy foods, set a good example, encourage activity and talk to her doctor. You can limit the junk food and sodas in the house to help, but do it for everyone, not just your daughter.
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
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    Talk to her pediatrician and see if they can help you come up with a meal plan for her. Whatever you do, do it NOW while she is still young. I have been obese my ENTIRE life. Well... as long as I can remember, anyway..... and I had a miserable childhood because I was fat and got made fun of all the time. It was horrible. And now here I am 24 years old and dealing with having to lose a HUGE amount of weight. And I feel like if my mother would have stepped in and done something when I was a child, I would not be in this position NOW. Take it seriously. Talk to her doctor. Do something!
  • suthrnladey
    suthrnladey Posts: 36
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    Honestly, as a mother of 3 myself....You lost me when you said diet and your child in the same sentence! You do NOT want to put your child on a diet at 10 years old, that is just going to set her up for failure and she could possibly go through the rest of her life struggling with body image. She is a child! She needs to eat the right things and stay away from the bad things like processed foods and sugary drinks. She needs to go out and play and not sit around. Take her to the pediatrician and ask him or her for their thoughts as well. My daughter has been big since the day she was born and she is 10 as well, right now she is 110 and very tall for her age. She always looked plump up til this year, she grew into it and really looks great and carries herself well! It will take some time for her...and you :) do not get discouraged, let her be a kid, motivate her and love her, compliment her and talk to her like a young lady because that is what she really needs right now, she doesn't want to feel like a little child or a disappointment. Good luck dear :flowerforyou: .

    THIS IS EXCELLENT ADVICE!!! My mom tried to force me to diet several times. I know she was trying to help, but she didn't go about it the right way. Please consult your pediatrician and a nutritionist. Don't let your daughter end up like me--a grown woman with horrible memories of my mom hurting my feelings over and over again because of my weight. I do not blame my mom for my problems with my weight, but I believe it was worse because of her.
  • jazzedorange
    jazzedorange Posts: 184 Member
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    Everyone will have a ton of different suggestions for you. This is my help for you and, as a mom of 3 kids that has had to make food changes.
    1. Dr. appointment
    2. Cut out fast food
    3. No sweets high in calories. Only things that are 100 calories or so. AND Fruits, fruits, fruits! fruits will fill them and last longer then candy!
    4. Teach your kids not to go back for seconds on food. Everything after the first plate is just for taste nothing more.
    5. Get her into a sport activity. If she doesn't like the first one, try another and keep going until she finds something she really enjoys! :)

    But this is all a life style change within your home not just for your daughter. If everyone eats like this and you talk about a change for the whole family, she won't feel singled out. And that is the last thing you want for her, or any of your children.

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