How old were you when you had kids?

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Replies

  • Daisy_Cutter
    Daisy_Cutter Posts: 774
    Get an education before having kids. You never know what might happen between you and your boyfriend/husband. And, tragedy can strike even the happiest family. Make sure you are in a position to care for that baby before you have it.
    yes, yes yes yes yes.....
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    We were married as teens but waited 10 years before biting into that green apple.
    We have 5 kids now, and it's been great!
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
    I was 31 almost 32 when I had my boys and was 33 when I had my little girl. I'm 37 now, and, although I am sometimes the "oldest" mom at my kids' events and am the oldest mom at my daycare, I couldn't imagine being a younger mother. It's hard work, and I wasn't ready in my 20s. I'm glad I was done with school and had my career going. And, as a divorced mom to 3, I'm not sure how well I would have handled it at a younger age..I'm quite self-sufficient nowadays.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    I was 19 with my daughter 26 with my son. I would have actually preferred my son closer to my daughter. Both are a blessing. I had a hard time getting pregnant with my son. I'm done having kids.
  • ElviraCross
    ElviraCross Posts: 331 Member
    Im 24, I have an 8 month old. I feel like I was ready to be an amazing mommy to her! I think it just depends on the maturity level or where you are in life.
  • rosalie_g
    rosalie_g Posts: 71
    I was 24 when I had my first daughter and looking back on it I wish I had waited longer to start having kids. Please don't feel pressure to have kids because everyone else is having them and it seems normal to do it by a certain age. Looking back on it I was so young at 24. You are right, you are very young still. Do it when you feel ready to do it :)
  • maggiemay365
    maggiemay365 Posts: 181 Member
    I was 40 ..my husband was 50 when we had our son! He is now 4! And I wouldn't change a thing!
  • latinahada
    latinahada Posts: 168
    I had my daughter 2 months after my 19th B-day & my son when I was 24...I wouldn't change anything about it, I love my kids more than anything...However, having kids is life changing and I just advise that you be as prepared as possible before having them!!
  • Donnacoach
    Donnacoach Posts: 540 Member
    I was 19, in college, not married, and very very inexperienced. Do what you want to do before you have children. I didn't even know how to hold a baby and was a wicked tom boy at 19. When my daughter was born, she was born with complications, which made it even harder for me. If you aren't sure that you want kids yet, then I would say that you just aren't ready yet. You are so young. Enjoy each other first and let yourself grow up. As much as I love my daughters, I am telling you, that once you have them they really tie you down. Your needs come last. it's just the way it is.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    19 and 20. sometimes i regret. sometimes i don't.
    i'm glad i got it out of the way i guess. but now if i want another, there will be such an age gap.
    my sister and i are 10 years apart.. and my kids are 10 and 11.
  • momof4ts
    momof4ts Posts: 118
    I was 23 had been married two years by the time he was born, but seriously there is NO RUSH!! Enjoy life just the two ofyou!! I wish my husband and i had waited a little longer, did more just the two of us. Because when kiddos come they are here to stay! :noway:
  • feydruss
    feydruss Posts: 349 Member
    I think it depends on your ambitions. Personally, I recommend going to school first and establishing some kind of career that you find challenging and fulfilling. But then when you marry/meet the right person, spend some time on YOUR relationship before bringing little people into it.

    DH and I have been together 18 years, but our twins are 18 months old (I had them at nearly 37). So we did a lot in between. Multiple degrees, living around the world, interesting jobs, friends, experiences. We have a lot more to share with our kids, including financial security.

    Unfortunately, we discovered that even when you say "Okay, now I'm ready to have kids," it's not really up to you. Your body does weird and wacky things, and you have to expect that anything can happen. You could get pregnant in a month, or you could have to consider years of expensive and invasive fertility treatments. Some of those things are difficult to handle when you're younger, at least psychologically.

    IMO, you should build your life and partnership, then share it with your children. Not build your life and partnership around your children.
  • sophie_wr
    sophie_wr Posts: 194 Member
    ahah i'm happy to see people that have been waiting !!
    I have a combination of PhD program (well it's over) and moving from Europe to USA, long relationship in my 20s brutally over, and then couple of single life years (with lots of fun though !). we'll see....
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    I was 24 when my daughter was born, and i think its a pretty good age. I think i wouldnt have waited much longer than that. My husband and i want to enjoy life later, so we have a cut off. No kids after 30.
  • SkinnieFinnie
    SkinnieFinnie Posts: 145 Member
    I was 21yrs old when I had my daughter & 25yrs old when I had my son. My husband & I have been together since we were 16yrs & 17yrs. The only thing I would change is the gap between the two. I wanted them 2yrs apart or less. I had 2 miscarriages between my daughter & son.. heartbreaking. Other than that, I wouldn't change a single thing. I'm an amazing mom. I was then & I am now. Yes that's me tooting my own horn, but it's true :bigsmile:
  • NanaB2011
    NanaB2011 Posts: 50 Member
    26 & 29 -- perfect age

    Same here! Two boys ages 4 and 7...My family thought I wanted too long, but I was not ready any earlier...
  • Expialidojess
    Expialidojess Posts: 441 Member
    23 & 25
  • motherheather
    motherheather Posts: 11
    I was three months shy of being 19 with the first daughter and two months shy of 20 with my second daughter.

    I have always been a very maternal person and always thought being a mother had to be the most amazing job in the world. It all depends on you. Not everyone has a strong maternal instinct and no one knows what they are in for when it comes to kids until they actually have them and then there is no going back so be sure.

    Personally, I know I have a lot of learning to do as a young mother but most things have came naturally for me whereas couples I know that did decide to wait are just as clueless (if not more) as me.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    I'm 34. I had my daughter when I was 23 & my son when I was 26.
  • AuddAlise
    AuddAlise Posts: 723 Member
    Had my son at 20, 1st daughter at 23, 2nd daughter at 24 and 3rd daughter at 27.
  • littledeak
    littledeak Posts: 17 Member
    Dear you do not have a child for your friends nor for your family. You have a child because you are ready to be a parent. Please don't forget that.

    I was 29 when my son was born. Both his dad and I had established careers, traveled the States and Europe. We bought our house and were comfortable with our income. . When we had our son we both felt we had done everything we wanted to do except have children. The birth of our son was wonderful
    I frequently say the best gift God gave our son was that I was 29 not 21. I wish you well.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    29, 33, 35, 39.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    18 and 21. The older was a surprise. I was barely 14 when i met my husband, otherwise things would have went differently. We have plans for when our kids are grown, as we will still be quite young when they are adults and (hopefully) moved out.
  • lexidell46
    lexidell46 Posts: 143
    I was 29 when I had my daughter and 30 when I had my son. I am so glad I waited. I had a lot of fun before then I think it made me a better parent. I could enjoy them more. I also had more patience.
  • Shelgirl001
    Shelgirl001 Posts: 477 Member
    I had my first baby when I was 18, but he was stillborn. The next child I had was when I was 27. My youngest was born when I was 34. I am glad I waited to have the second and 3rd, because I had so much more to do before I was ready at all to be a Mom, and even then I am still not sure I was ready. I guess it just happens that way sometimes. Wait as long as you want to, and then, if you decide to have them, it is your choice. It's a huge leap and an even more huge responsibility.
  • RunsAround
    RunsAround Posts: 24 Member
    I had my first at 27 and my second at 29. These things are totally regional! I just read a statistic from the country where I live, that the average age in 2010 for birthing mothers was 31. It went on to state that the vast majority of children are born to children who are 30-34. The article was a focus on a family who was a teen mom. She was 18 when the child was born. In the country where I live, there were...wait for it...550 teenage mother births in 2010 in the entire country. That's nothing!

    Seriously, I enthusiastically recommend waiting. I certainly don't think I was too young, but in hindsight, if I were promised the exact same kids a couple years later, I would have gone for it. It's not that you can't pull it off. Many people do it and do it well all the time. But why not enjoy a bit of your youth more. Travel some more. Get to know your boyfriend some more. Get to know yourself some more. Yes, you can do all these things with kids, but it changes the dynamic in ways you can never fully expect. Having kids is hard, HARD, HARD work. They are cute and give you so many wonderful moments, but you work really hard for it.

    There's no rush. Really. I have plenty of friends who had their last child in their 40s.
  • missymuffet459
    missymuffet459 Posts: 162
    I was 17 when I had my son, then 22 and 25 for my daughters.

    I say wait until it feels right to you. Kids are a huge responsibility. Don't let your friends pressure you. I say have fun while you are young. They will be home with babies and you can travel!!!!
  • bowiechick
    bowiechick Posts: 2
    Never. I don't want kids, and my husband and I don't see the purpose in having them to be honest with you.

    I just witness a lot of people having kids because it's what's expected of them or peer pressure. Many people I know that have kids STILL aren't actually ready for them, but it's too late to change their minds now!

    I would say that people need just just be 100% sure first. It will change your life and if there are ANY doubts, don't do it. It wouldn't be good for you or the child.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    By all means, this is really a personal decision... If you know you are not ready yet, you have plenty of time. As for the answer to the question (yes, I know I am NOT a lady), I was 42... My wife was 35. Our daughter is our heart. She came out just fine and it was probably best that we did not do it earlier... But everybody is their own person.
  • jenbridges
    jenbridges Posts: 213 Member
    So this is probably personal but I'm curious as to if I'm the only one who is holding out! I'm twenty one. My boyfriend (future husband) is 22. My mom was 20 when she had me. She's an amazing mother. All of my friends are pregnant and/or having kids. Literally, everyone. I feel like I should NOT have a kid at 21! I feel like I am still a kid...but then there are those moments when my maternal clock starts ticking and I really want a baby.....(that only happens when I'm drunk....haha.)

    Seriously, ladies, how old were you when you had a kid, and was it worth it? If you could go back and wait would you? Or if you could go back and do it earlier would you? I have a job that I really love and it's my main focus.....I just feel like I'm kind of old fashioned and want to wait until we own a home, have a nicer car, make good money, settled down somewhere permanent, gone on vacations and partied without a kid....I feel like we just haven't lived enough yet, and having a kid would throw it all away....am I wrong??

    (I know it's a matter of personal preference in the long run but I'm just curious :)

    I had my kids very young- starting at 22, 23, 25, 28. I would recommend waiting and living a bit first. however-- when you feel the ttime is right, don't say "we don't own a house yet" or "we don't make enough" (unless you really don't!) or something like that. there will always be a reason not to if you limit your thinking that way, and then it can become too late. this happened to some friends, and they have always regretted waiting too long.

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