How tacky is this? Vow Renewal / Giant Party

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  • emirror
    emirror Posts: 842 Member
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    Just a thought about the gifts thing...

    If you really don't want gifts, you could tell anyone who asks that you don't want gifts, but if someone feels compelled to give something, that any cash will be put towards a (family?) honeymoon.

    A lot of couples who have been living together don't really need stuff for the house anymore, so I like this option because it lets gift-givers do something (like me, I like to give gifts), but doesn't weigh people down with a million crystal olive platters.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
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    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    Well, if it's tacky, then my hubby and I are going to be tacky, too. We got married by a Notary (good friend of mine) on the beach with barely anyone present. Our plan is to do a vow renewal at our 5 yr anniversary, have a reception and take the honeymoon we never took. It's your life - do with it what makes YOU happy and if someone thinks it's tacky, they don't have to be invited or attend.
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    What she said!

    I'm a "he," for the record.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    What she said!

    I'm a "he," for the record.
    That's clearly a bald wig. Don't lie.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
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    Not tacky at all.

    I say go for it.

    Congratulations btw.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I fail to see how this is tacky. Terrible circumstances prevented you from celebrating your wedding so you're doing it now. How in the heck is that tacky? Get your party on and celebrate your love. Congratulations and have fun.
  • lindseym1983
    lindseym1983 Posts: 209
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    I think it is a wonderful idea. Have a great time and whoever told you it was tacky remember to not invite and send some pictures of you having a blast to them! :D
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    My wedding gift to you:

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now go party.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    What she said!

    I'm a "he," for the record.
    That's clearly a bald wig. Don't lie.

    It's the lipstick that gives me away, isn't it...
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
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    Quick Background :

    Hubby and I were supposed to get married in February 2007. Three weeks beffore the wedding, our daughter needed emergency heart surgery. We canceled the wedding with just 2 weeks to go. We didn't want to get married if she was dead, dying, or in the hospital. A few weeks later, we had a quickie no-guests-legal marriage. No one sent gifts or checks. We didn't register anywhere. We told everyone we'd have the reception during the summer.

    Almost five years have gone by - for a long time, our daughter was too sick for us to think about throwing a party. People are STILL asking us when we get to have our " wedding ". Now that our anniversary is approaching, we have been thinking about doing a vow renewal / giant party.... basically a night of dinner and dancing.

    No wedding dress. No wedding party. No gifts. Just a 10 minute " ceremony " where we exchange public vows, then a fancy, formal dinner & dancing, degenerating into drunken splendor.

    Someone told me that it's tacky to have any sort of anniversary party, reception, vow renewal, etc. We aren't doing this as a re-do. We aren't asking for gifts. All we are asking is that our friends / family get to celebrate with us.

    Thoughts?

    I say go for it. I don't see anything tacky about what you're doing at ll :)
  • marywanoKC
    marywanoKC Posts: 176
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    Psh, screw that. My husband and I just celebrated our tenth anniversary a couple of weeks ago, and we rented a gigantic $4 mil, 8 bed, 9.5 bathroom cabin on top of a mounting in the smokey mountains and invited 30 of our closest friends. It was magical. We had everyone sit on picnic blankets around us, and in the evening sun read our letters to one another and promised another few years to each other.

    The nice thing about being an adult is that you can do whatever the hell you two want! It's a big celebration of two people who love each other. If there are nay sayers, cross 'em off the list of attendees, and move on. They clearly have issues, and they aren't yours to deal with or delve into.

    Congrats, btw!
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Five years is "the hump" you make it that far, and you deserve to party cause the rest is much easier! Given everything that you all have been through with your daughter, not only is it totally awesome, but not in the least bit tacky!! You had to cancel your wedding to make sure that your daughter was taken care of...take a few hours to take care of that hole that is left from not getting a special day. Anyone who thinks it is tacky needs an anal sticketcomy
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Psh, screw that. My husband and I just celebrated our tenth anniversary a couple of weeks ago, and we rented a gigantic $4 mil, 8 bed, 9.5 bathroom cabin on top of a mounting in the smokey mountains and invited 30 of our closest friends. It was magical. We had everyone sit on picnic blankets around us, and in the evening sun read our letters to one another and promised another few years to each other.

    The nice thing about being an adult is that you can do whatever the hell you two want! It's a big celebration of two people who love each other. If there are nay sayers, cross 'em off the list of attendees, and move on. They clearly have issues, and they aren't yours to deal with or delve into.

    Congrats, btw!

    <---hey...I recognize that dress!!
  • ElectricMayhem
    ElectricMayhem Posts: 214 Member
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    Five years is "the hump" you make it that far, and you deserve to party cause the rest is much easier! Given everything that you all have been through with your daughter, not only is it totally awesome, but not in the least bit tacky!! You had to cancel your wedding to make sure that your daughter was taken care of...take a few hours to take care of that hole that is left from not getting a special day. Anyone who thinks it is tacky needs an anal sticketcomy

    Word!! ^^^^ :wink: Celebrating your love and marriage should never be considered tacky!! You seem to have an amazing little family who deserve a little party, right?!:drinker: :heart: BTW make sure you leave those haters off the guest list..you wouldn't want to expose them to your "tackiness" :laugh:
  • Mel0516
    Mel0516 Posts: 1 Member
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    I'm in the same place my husband and I married almost 10 years ago. He just retired from the Army as an 11bravo and anyone that is associated with the military knows this MOS kept him from me most of our 10 years. When we married it was us a judge and a friend then he deployed a month later. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him again. Of course I said yes, I kinda like him, and he wants the hole shebang even my dad giving me away. Something he said he stole from me when he asked me to marry him a month before he was to deploy. So here I am 10 years married to he love of my life renewing our vows and having a wedding. I also had a friend call it a fake wedding...but to be honest I don't care just because she thinks its tacky and fake does not me we don't deserve a special day...more power to you! Have fun!
  • Showmm
    Showmm Posts: 406 Member
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    Not tacky at all. We got married where we lived, which was on a different continent to both families. We had a party for the wedding, but since most people couldn't make it, we then had a party with my husband's friends and family in Australia and then another for my friends and family in Canada. Absolutely NOBODY had a problem with this. Or if they did, they certainly were smart enough not to share it.

    If anyone tells you it's tacky, just say, "If you feel that way, don't feel under any obligation to come. I just want the fun people there."

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