Asking a guy out

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Replies

  • TheRUBENone
    TheRUBENone Posts: 20 Member
    I would say its ok to do the asking. he may never get the hint that you want him to ask so you may need to drop some helpful hints his way, like leading a horse to water but not forcing him to drink.
  • Techn0mancer
    Techn0mancer Posts: 46
    For me, I like if a girls asks me out. In a relationship, my confidence is pretty much fine.. outside of one, not so much
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    My husband and I met becuase we both started working with a company about the same time, (different departments) and although we talked, joked, emailed and he'd go out of his way to come by and see me... he NEVER asked me out.

    Finally one day I said "Man, it's been a long day, I think I deserve a margarita at the Mexican resturaunt, wanna come?" and that's all it took. Turns out, he was just a little worried that I may not want to date someone I worked with. He stepped up and took the lead from there on out.

    I'd go for it, nothing really to lose..
  • Anomalia
    Anomalia Posts: 506 Member
    I wouldn't do it personally but if you feel comfortable doing it then I don't see why you wouldn't.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I'm 26 now and I've been single for almost a year.
    I haven't asked anyone out, and I most certainly wouldn't know how to if I wanted to......lol
  • afigueroa_pr
    afigueroa_pr Posts: 344
    When I was single, I honestly would've loved for a girl to take the first step. Before I was 22 I was super shy and didn't go out on many dates because I was such a loser.
    Thank God that's not the case anymore and I have a beautiful wife and daughter!!
  • derek0311
    derek0311 Posts: 31 Member
    Me personally I am very flattered when a girl ask me out. Im usually pretty shy and can take a while to build up the confidence to ask a girl out.
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    Been out of the dating game for a while... Guys, how do you feel about a woman asking you out? Do you like it, or do you prefer to do the asking? Wanting to ask someone out, but everyone is telling me to wait and let him ask.

    Ask him! Don't sit there pining over the guy, that's just wasting time you two could be off having fun together. Or you know he's not interested and move on to finding another guy you like. Just my opinion, but I'm a 36 yr old bachelor so it might count for something.
  • jnh17
    jnh17 Posts: 838 Member
    I've asked out every guy I've been in a serious relationship with. They've all been alpha males. Strong men that don't like strong women aren't for me :).


    I asked my husband out (he was at work when we met so it wouldn't have been professional to ask me out) the day we met (right after I told my coworkers I was going to marry him).
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    I don't ask guys out. If a guy is interested, he will ask you.

    I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with asking a guy out, I'm just old fashioned in that way.
    I'm the lady, I want to be courted.
  • spoonful
    spoonful Posts: 200 Member
    No. Ask away. But signal your intention before you actually ask though so he knows what's coming. Otherwise he might get confused and say something dumb then regret it afterwards.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    I would be very flattered if a girl asked me out. I don't see anything wrong, go for it.
  • cohophysh
    cohophysh Posts: 288
    Thanks everyone. Guess I have a phone call to make :)

    Hey look, now you know what us guys feel like, we don't like rejection, however, I say go for it. The worst that can happen is he says no thank you.
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    But be prepared to catch a lot of lazy beta males and not many alphas.

    If a guy knows you are interested, he will ask you out if he's interested in you. If he doesn't ask you out, he's either not interested or he's missing a pair of testicles. In either case, he's not really someone you should waste any more energy on.
    I agree 100%!!!

    Because everyone knows that Alpha Males love meek women lacking in self confidence....

    More bro-science to the rescue at MFP. Sigh.

    --Prahasaurus
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Why not? He will say yes or he will say no. You will have your answered without waiting around wasting time wondering if he's just too shy or doesn't like you or whatever.

    To anyone says it is turn off for a woman to ask them out -- that's fine and dandy. I think you have to decided what kind of person you are hoping to be with.

    Personally, I would not want to be with somebody who found that to be a turn off. I want somebody who values my strengths: I'm direct, I'm honestly, and I am upfront. I don't play games. I don't want to be treated like a special little princess simply because I have female genitals. I want to be treated with respect and admiration for who I am, not what I am physically.

    I want somebody who isn't concern with fairytales, because I live in reality. That's just me though.

    I think the key is just knowing what you want in a mate and life, and that is your answer.
  • Niekon
    Niekon Posts: 2
    The guy who says it turns him off when a girl asks him out is a creep weirdo and this never happens to him anyway, so don't listen. The girl who says it would be a problem later down the line because she wants a fairy tale story to tell her family is a... well, I won't say.

    Ask him out. It's a completely awesome thing to do and any male with a personality will love it. Even if he isn't into you, it will make his day and possibly at least pave the way for a friendship.

    Now grow a pair and go for it. ;)

    I completely agree with this sentiment. I actually find it rather complimentary for women to come up to me randomly... I'm sure it's because of my stand-offish attitude ^_~
    But asking the guy out can be a boost to his ego... or the start to an interesting conversation.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    Wow, I had no idea people had so many "rules" to dating. Or how to ask someone out.

    The Alpha Male comment really cracks me up. Really dude, get over yourself. Part of being an Alpha Male is having your own thing going on, and if you have your own thing going on you don't always notice women that aren't on your radar. If she wants to explore a relationship with this guy she needs to put herself on his radar. Ask him.
  • katevicks
    katevicks Posts: 5 Member
    go for it!!! i do it all the time its great! makes you feel alive! :) but i usually dont ask them out on a proper date, ill just say me and a few mates are heading to the pub (or where ever) if your keen to join and they usually do, if they're busy they usually suggest meeting up another time. i say keep it casual! and let him organise the second date if theres going to be one. goodluck! :)
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    If you want to ask a guy out, do it. But be prepared to catch a lot of lazy beta males and not many alphas.
    If a guy knows you are interested, he will ask you out if he's interested in you. If he doesn't ask you out, he's either not interested or he's missing a pair of testicles. In either case, he's not really someone you should waste any more energy on.

    ^^ Amen to this sister! Every guy I ever asked out, yes it worked and we did go out! BUT, not a one of them had the right interest level or motivation, so ultimately, I didn't end up respecting him. I'm not saying that'd be true for all, but it's all I've seen (the whole 3 guys I've asked out, haha)...if a guy doesn't man up and ask, he's generally not REALLY interested (or I'm not giving him enough signals to know that he should make a move).
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member



    I'm not offended by what he said. It's the truth. The differences between men and women are not just physiological. Refusal to acknowledge this very basic fact is the reason dating has become so dysfunctional and one out of every two couples to get married will end up getting divorced.

    If you want to ask a guy out, do it. But be prepared to catch a lot of lazy beta males and not many alphas.

    If a guy knows you are interested, he will ask you out if he's interested in you. If he doesn't ask you out, he's either not interested or he's missing a pair of testicles. In either case, he's not really someone you should waste any more energy on.

    I couldn't disagree more. Firstly, I prefer beta males. Alpha males are in general not very interested in actually being friends with women, which IMO is the most important step in a relationship. Mostly, they are douchbags. Beta males may be less charismatic, but they make much better husbands, laziness has nothing to do with it. It's not lazy to be too shy to ask a girl out. And why should we put it all on the men anyway? Are we so weak and pathetic as a sex we can't just ask for what we want? One of the most common complaints men have about women is that we sulk and make them guess what is wrong, why is the dating scene any different? Why should we make them have to guess whether we are interested or not? We need more honesty in the world. If you like someone, tell them and save you both the hassle of farting around and second guessing?

    ^^This...to some degree. Often, regardless of gender, the issue is either a shy personality or confidence issues (for a variety of reasons). I don't think that apprehensiveness about approaching the opposite sex necessarily has anything to do with having weak or lazy character. I think that's an unfair generalization. SOMETIMES that may be the case, and it may be the case in your own personal experience, but to say that's true in general is not only completely unfair, it's absolutely ludicrous.
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
    No, let them ask you out. If a guy is interested they'll ask....but not sure if I'd take my advice because I'm still single.....

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