Advice please...guys point of view as well

13

Replies

  • riddellr
    riddellr Posts: 23
    Run...


    Run Far...


    Run Fast....
  • Establishedn1986
    Establishedn1986 Posts: 306 Member
    I say at lease he's being honest with you and letting you know where he at. Now you have a choice either to give in or keep doing you and take all the time you need. That's one of the things that you have to give him credit for is he's honest. so many women and men say after the fact that if they would have known they would have did something different .... Here is your chance!!!!

    :smile:

    Ps. Sex should be something that you are clear and up front about. Yes it does take time sometimes to get it right. But if your needs are not met or your being something your not. It won't last long anyways

    I agree. I would be glad that he is honest. This puts the ball in your court, and where it goes from there is up to you!
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    Like it was said before, there is no such thing as ~bad~ sex. Only sex and great sex. The only way 'Sex' becomes 'Great Sex' is when the couple really really dig eachother and they work together in both a sexual and interpersonal way.

    You can be inexperienced in sex, but the person that cares for you will help you become better at it and vice versa. The fact that he has put out to you and asking if you make great sex just shows that he doesnt seem to interested in making the effort to make casual sex turn into great sex. Unless you are paying for it, sex isnt gonna be instantly great. Especially when its something he is asking for rather than having it mutually come up together. If he is lookin for a booty call, then he can get one from a sex website.

    One does not simply ask for great sex. One earns it.

    Casual sex comes from someone with spread legs and someone else with a boner
  • ladyfox1979
    ladyfox1979 Posts: 405 Member
    Tell him he can go f@ck himself or get him one of those blow up dolls and jerk off to that. But before you tell him off make sure he takes you out to a nice dinner or an activity that YOU enjoy . You might as well get somrehing out of this since he is wasting your time.
  • kaylasue_mustlose
    kaylasue_mustlose Posts: 27
    Sounds to me like you should RUN. What kind of REAL man would say that to a woman that he respected? A real man wouldn't have time to think about "how good the sex is" because he would be trying to get to know you. I would have laughed in his face. But that is just me! Sex with me is a privlige...not a "tryout"! You can do much better.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Sexual chemistry is a very important part of a lasting relationship. I would want to be sure the sex was gonna be at least 'something to work with' before I tried entering in to a long-term relationship with someone. Doesn't make him a pig or shallow.. he's being honest and practical and sharing with you how he feels.


    Honestly, if someone has more stock in the sexual chemistry of their relationship than you do, then it won't last forever anyway. You have to be on the same page about a few key items, and I believe this is one of them.
  • ryanpayne4
    ryanpayne4 Posts: 64 Member
    Run
  • TiffanyWasmer
    TiffanyWasmer Posts: 190 Member
    I would pass him a bottle of lotion and say "Get to it and then you tell me if it was good cause that's all the sexin you gonna be gettin"

    Best answer ever! Seriously, tell him to kiss it...and then RUN as fast as you possibly can :)
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    The guy is a jerk for saying it, and you're better off without him.

    However~ For those who haven't had it, let me assure you there *is* such a thing as bad sex.
    I've dumped men because of it.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Maybe he would settle for a mouth hug?
  • deepfuture
    deepfuture Posts: 35 Member
    That statement from him is enough for you to know what kinda guy he is .. RUN !!!
  • capricorn0120
    capricorn0120 Posts: 109 Member
    He's a big jerk. You've been on 2 dates and he wants to have sex to see if you're compatible in bed? Are you physically attractive to him? How well did the previous dates go, is there any depth to him or is he shallow and full of himself?

    I think that if there's an attraction sex will happen naturally. He seems desperate and in a hurry. Why not date for a while longer and see if there is something there?
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    I hope this guy is history already. I know people are praising his honesty but I still think he was disrespectful.

    Anyway, be glad he was upfront about it and you only wasted two dates on him. He must have been really hot if you still felt some attraction to him after that.
  • hallmanm
    hallmanm Posts: 6
    Ew, what a JERK. Run fast and run far, my friend. There are much better fish in the sea.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    I don't see the issue here. You want one thing, he wants another. Time to say goodbye.

    I don't think he is being a douche by telling you right from the get go what he believes is important to him. Personally, I had the same viewpoint when I was single. Whilst I would have expressed myself differently I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with and I would have preferred to have found that out sooner rather than later.
  • Here2GetFit
    Here2GetFit Posts: 292
    In my opinion, he clearly isn't interested in you. No guy that REALLY liked a woman would make such a bonehead statement like that. It sounds he is just looking for some action.
  • hallmanm
    hallmanm Posts: 6
    That statement from him is enough for you to know what kinda guy he is .. RUN !!!

    Amen to that! :smile:
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
    tell him you ain't a car - which he needs to test drive before buying, then after you can let him know that when ever and if he ever decides to be a real man and understands that a woman is to be respected you might, just might, consider going out with him again (that is if you like him a lot)
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    I don't see the issue here. You want one thing, he wants another. Time to say goodbye.

    I don't think he is being a douche by telling you right from the get go what he believes is important to him. Personally, I had the same viewpoint when I was single. Whilst I would have expressed myself differently I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with and I would have preferred to have found that out sooner rather than later.


    If you really liked a girl (as much as you possibly can after 2 dates) would you really risk turning her off by discussing sex so soon?
  • moosetrap
    moosetrap Posts: 18
    I'd say take a pass on this guy. He's obviously a dyed-in-the-wool jerk. There will be better men out there who will treat you with more respect than that. Guarantee it.
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    From a guy's point of view, even bad sex is good. He's just trying to get you in bed. Things have to move at a pace you are both comfortable with for a relationship to develop. Don't compromise on that. If he says goodbye, he was only in it for the sex and you're better off. If he says ok lets keep dating, he knows you have a backbone and will respect you for it.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    He's being a jerk. Not only does it sound like sex is the only thing he wants from the relationship, it sounds like he is saying if the sex isn't good the first time he's not willing to work at making it good.

    Good sex, like a good relationship, is give and take and sometimes takes a little time to know your partner's preferences.

    This. If it were me, I wouldn't give him the time of day ever again.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    Perhaps one of his relationships failed and he didn't find out till later that one of the reasons was because he was bad in the sack. Tell him you'll answer him when you find out?
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 909 Member
    Tell him you can provide references that vouch for how good it is :laugh:


    hahaha i like the way you think!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    I don't see the issue here. You want one thing, he wants another. Time to say goodbye.

    I don't think he is being a douche by telling you right from the get go what he believes is important to him. Personally, I had the same viewpoint when I was single. Whilst I would have expressed myself differently I wouldn't enter a relationship with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with and I would have preferred to have found that out sooner rather than later.


    If you really liked a girl (as much as you possibly can after 2 dates) would you really risk turning her off by discussing sex so soon?

    I wouldn't "discuss" it per se but I would be straight forward and let it be known that sexual compatibility was an important part of a relationship to me right from the start.

    But yes, I would take the risk in that turning the women off and the relationship going no further. If two people aren't fundamentally on the same page on certain key issues what is the point of stringing something out which won't really work? I was never desperate enough for sex to pretend to be something I wasn't just so I could get it further down the line due to false pretenses.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Maybe he would settle for a mouth hug?

    ^^^^Ya see what he did there?^^^^^
  • melissab6968
    melissab6968 Posts: 56 Member
    Total jerk! His attitude toward sex is demeaning and toxic!
  • Cander1
    Cander1 Posts: 3 Member
    Ask him if the 50lbs that he lost was between his ears, and move on. You deserve respect and if sex is the first thing he thinks of well I believe that respect is a ways down the line,,,,,don't waste your time. Life is too short to waste it on idiots. : :flowerforyou:
  • ccarre81
    ccarre81 Posts: 134 Member
    Give him the best night ever, then kick him to the curb and tell him it wasn't good enough! :devil:
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
    Of course good sex is important, if not crucial to a good relationship. But he's an arrogant a**hole. Not only is he pressuring you into it (a totally presuming you WANT it in the first place!), he's pressuring you to be "good". As though he has no responsibility to make it good as well. Yeah, good luck with that, buddy! It's a set up for failure. What a d**k!
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