Little Kids Telling You That You Are Fat

gemini0007 · June 2012

Maybe I'm strange, but it doesn't really bother me when a child tells me I am fat or asks if I'm pregnant. I just don't get upset about it, because I AM fat and I look like I could be pregnant. The child is not being mean. There's no malice there. He or she is just being a child, curious about the world.

Kids are kids.

Edit to add: The connection between this thread and my story is fat often = well endowed. Sorry if it wasn't obvious.

NO you are not strange - the kids are telling the truth - yes they will need to learn to mind their manners, but really if you are fat you are fat - I never told my kids off for telling me I was fat because I WAS FAT and I knew it - it was up to me to do something about it, not them. I did tell them that it's okay to be brutally honest with your family and very close friends, but it was not polite to say that to anyone else.

wookiemouse · June 2012

Best thing you can do is let them know it's not appropriate and just accept the truth. My kids went on for years about how I "looked like there was a baby in my tummy!" (no, wasn't pregnant). Just more motivation, they don't say that to me now.

a2902c · June 2012

I teach first graders. I love children and the elderly because they are so honest. Children accidently hurt your feelings because they don't think about how they would feel if someone said the same thing to them. The elderly on the other hand feel they have earned the right not to hold back anymore. As I read the various comments made by your niece I wondered if she might be angry with you. Perhaps you disappointed her and she has not forgiven you, so she is hurting you back. She does have to be taught not to hurt others, but if she were my niece I would reach out to her. Good luck.

Me and another family member have tried teaching her that saying things like that are mean. She just laughed and walked away. She's told my mom before that she hates ugly people, and if people are ugly they should know (like me!). I don't know. Her parents aren't the greatest role models...

monicamk1975 · June 2012

My husband's son (5 yrs old) from a previous relationship said, "Wow- look a blanket!" This was in response to my opening a gift that was a blouse on my birthday last year. It was a hideous shirt and it was an XXL, I laughed and so did everyone else but I was super embarassed.

We correct him when he makes fun of people who are heavy, since his mom hasn't instilled manners in him.

Older kids are just products of their parenting...or lack there of. The little ones don't know any better so they can get away with it

lydialen · June 2012

I was swimming with a bunch of little kids at my friends house and the cutest little girl told me "your legs are really chubby". Even from little kids, it still hurts.

Jellyphant · June 2012

kids call it like they see it. i love that they don't lie.
it's a nice wakeup call to kickstart weight loss!

Parents should be more responsible and teach their kids that they only way to be accepted in society is to lie to people and tell them only what they want to hear.

I understand that kids are honest, but that is just making me feel worse. If that's the case, I look like a whale, with fat man legs, and am very ugly (according to my niece). I'm not asking for them to tell me things I only want to hear. I just don't need to hear that I'm ugly and then be told on MFP that it's true.

EDIT: Blah, whatever. I shouldn't let this thread get me down. :P

You really shouldn't let it get you down. Some people just think kids are precious little rainbow farts with no faults and try to defend them to the death. Some kids just need some damn discipline to not insult people, innocent or not.

aNEWuNme · June 2012

Once, a kid at work asked me if I was pregnant (and this was a few years ago when I was thinner). I gave the shirt I was wearing that day to good will.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, again at a work event, kids followed me around all day singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie" obviously referring to my big butt. I just happen to be built with an *kitten*. Oh well. Some people digg it. No matter how much I workout, that *kitten* will still be there.

It's never nice to hear, even if it's said by an innocent child

You look beautiful in your profile pic.

korsicash · June 2012

My kid told me I had a fat butt the other day, I told him that was not nice and mommy exercises and works hard. He told me to work harder and try more. I told him time out.

wookiemouse · June 2012

Her parents aren't the greatest role models...

Obviously. Bless you for stepping up. She's going to need all the help she can before she says something nasty to the wrong person. A lot of times kids do this because of low self esteem as well - so make sure you catch her saying the right things when you can. If a kid sees herself as a "bad kid," she'll feel justified in keeping it up.

MissyMastery · June 2012

My 7-year-old niece grabbed my thighs, and said "These are bigger than my mom's and dad's combined. Your so fat." I've also had kids run up to me and grab my belly, with their parents looking horrified. Seriously, it's humiliating. Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention when my niece said, "You have the body of a fat man." Nice.

I'm sorry...but your niece is rude and your family should be ashamed that she says things like that. I don't think it's cute or acceptable.

lausa22 · June 2012

Luckily I've never had anyone in my family tell me that I'm fat. I've actually had my grandmother tell me I'm too skinny!
I couldn't imagine anyone in my family being that blunt, you always expect your family to support you and be kind.

Yes2HealthyAriel · June 2012

My oldest son tells me I am fat. I am not all that offended by it because I am fat. But my reply to him is that I am working on it. What does get to me though is he tries to tell me I need cheat days and that he cant tell that I have lost any weight, that I look the same to him.

Growing up I was offended daily by my father. I wasnt fat at all yet he would pat mine and my sisters tummy area and ask us if we had gained any weight, telling us we looked pregnant. Totally gave us a complex about weight.

alikrorp225 · June 2012

My daughter was in the 5th grade and her body was changing. Another kid asked her if SHE was pregnant?!

Kids are both blunt and jerks sometimes. However, my kids are very sensitive to others' feelings and thankfully, have never had the problem of making inappropriate comments to others. They are now, 17, 14, and 11.

The thing is that unless the kids have heard the word "fat" used and saw an overweight person to whom it was being referred to, I don't think they know the difference on their own. In other words, it's a learned behavior. Just like the differences in race. I distinctly remember the day I heard someone use a derogatory remark towards a person of another race. It was a racist relative in town for a visit. It shocked me, because I'd never thought of the differences before. It was a sad day. Thankfully, even at age 6, I made the choice not to let it matter to me. A person's a person, no matter the size or race.

I'll say it again: A child who makes a "fat" comment learned that somewhere, either home or school.

kayemme · June 2012

why not let kids just be honest and all of us take it as the only honest criticism we are likely to hear?

bricktowngal · June 2012

Yeah, I can relate My grandkids pictured, tell me I'm fat too! But of course, they call their mother fat as well and she is 5'4" and weighs 108. Brats! all of them!!

2012asv · June 2012

Aside from the fact that parents need to remind their kids about politeness and how to talk to others, kids don't usually have a good perception of the world around them. What's big to them at that age- at our age is normal... Not to mention lack of vocabulary!

Sorry you have to deal with that! Hopefully as she gets older she will gain some insight and good manners. And judging by your profile pic you are NOT huge or whatever she said by any means- at least not to me. And' I'm not 7

a2902c · June 2012

why not let kids just be honest and all of us take it as the only honest criticism we are likely to hear?

So I'm supposed to just sit back and let a 7-year-old continuously tell me "You're ugly" and ask me "Why are you so fat? You are the fattest person I know"? Great.

c0untingsheep · June 2012

Tell them they're adopted. Ha.

wftiger · June 2012

They don't understand what they are saying. When I was a kid I thought 30 was dang near dead and was aghast when I found out anyone was over that. At that age they don't understand that weight is a sensitive issue with people. Unfortunately some will never learn but those are a bit harder to forgive for their comments (at that age it is just stupid and insensitive).

My friends 7 year old made a comment to me when I first started this change in my life that has stuck with me. He looked at me and asked why my arms were fat like Popeye's. My friend was mortified and almost in tears but I used that as my motivation. In my case he was right and without the social consciousness of an adult he wasn't afraid to say it.

amoffatt · June 2012

My 8 year old son would ask me why dont I join the Biggest Loser.... Then one day tell me I look skinnier...then tell others "fat like mom." It is a wake up call, but my 11 year old has weight issues and knows bad food and good food and exercise but I can tell when it gets to her....that is when it gets to me and I hit the exercise twice as hard or break down because all the hard work doesnt seem to be paying off (the give up state). I have to remember to not let her see this side because she refused to eat for a day.:frown:

incfighters · June 2012

i know how you feel! when i was in junior high, i'd hang out with friends to pick up their little brothers and sisters from the elementary school. and one kid nicknamed me "seal". and would always call me seal whenever he saw me.
i didn't get it at first because the nickname came out of nowhere, but soon figured out what he was talking about.

alikrorp225 · June 2012

why not let kids just be honest and all of us take it as the only honest criticism we are likely to hear?

So I'm supposed to just sit back and let a 7-year-old continuously tell me "You're ugly" and ask me "Why are you so fat? You are the fattest person I know"? Great.

Nope. I don't agree with that poster at all. It's one thing to be honest. It's another to be rude. It goes with the old adage: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." They need to be taught to be sensitive to others' feelings.

sydnisd183 · June 2012

why not let kids just be honest and all of us take it as the only honest criticism we are likely to hear?

So I'm supposed to just sit back and let a 7-year-old continuously tell me "You're ugly" and ask me "Why are you so fat? You are the fattest person I know"? Great.

this sounds like a 7 year old who has much deeper issues going on than just teasing someone. I wonder how her parents talk to each other, or even worse, to her. Hurt people hurt people.

PandaCustard · June 2012

why not let kids just be honest and all of us take it as the only honest criticism we are likely to hear?

Because one, criticism is worth nothing if it's not asked for, and two, they're children that need to be taught some manners. Do YOU go up to random strangers and say, "Hi, I think you're fat and ugly. Have a nice day!" No. It's not cute or funny to be told that by a kid, unless maybe perhaps it's your own kid.

For what it's worth, OP, I honestly think you're very pretty. It really hurts to hear those things (heard them EVERY DAY 5th grade-11th grade in school), but shrug them off and keep going. Especially if it's from a dumb kid.

amoffatt · June 2012

Kids in school told me I looked like I weighed 200 pounds while only at 150-155. My current profile picture is me at that weight. I weigh 139 now... I'll show them.

Exactly! I love seeing how those who were thin in school "chunked out" while I am sliming down.:bigsmile:

shygur · June 2012

In reality most of us can tell the difference between a child making an honest observation and one being deliberately rude. It sounds like this child is being deliberately rude. I liked one person's comment though that the child may have her own self esteem issues. Certainly she should not be allowed to treat you this way, you have rights as well as a human being. She can be given a time out or sent to her room until she is willing to apologise. She needs a lesson in good manners but also noticed for being good. She may only get attention when being bad. The reality is words do hurt us, no matter what the old saying about "sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me". I am sorry she has been hurtful to you, no one deserves that.

qtiekiki · June 2012

Sometimes they just don't really understand what they are saying (well depending on their age). My almost 4 years old daughter told me that I have a big belly the other day. She was comparing her size to mine, so of course I am bigger.