To call/text him or not to call/text....

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Replies

  • PHATmommy68
    PHATmommy68 Posts: 112
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Red Flags! Red Alert! Honey what are you thinking??!! Hellooooo...Bad man!! Barring the fact that maybe he's lying in a ditch dead somewhere........he has no excuse for disrespecting you like that! I mean really, get a backbone!! This is a toxic relationship. And while your messing around with it for how many years?!?!??!?!? ...mister right is going unnoticed. You could be in a mature respectful relationship with someone who will not take you for granted and vice versa!!! Take it from someone who has been down that road before life is too short and too precious to waste on someone who is going to treat you so disrespectfully!!!

    This is one of my favorite quotes. "Don't make someone a priority in your life when you're only an option in theirs."

    And no....you DO NOT owe him an apology. **** him is right!!!

    Grow a pair girl!
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Simple solutions...

    Drop him like wood to a fire. Then date me. Just know you get to travel lots and experience total awesomeness
  • gaspass
    gaspass Posts: 1
    Don't even think twice about this guy. Most of your responses are from women on here, but the guys also are saying run! When you are in you "off times" with him, are you waiting for him or looking for someone else? Is he the one that always comes back when he doesn't have another option? Just think back to all the times you have gotten back together. Is it because he had no one else at the time and you easily accept him back? Did he go home with someone else the night before the race?

    No one, guy or girl, is worth this. Do not apologize. You really should move on and find someone that treats you with respect. There are a lot of nice guys out there. Next time he comes running back, say NO. By the looks of your picture you are about my son's age. I would hope he would not put up with this if the situation was reversed. You deserve better.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    ^^^As much as reading this makes my skin crawl for all the women out there who put up with guys like this, the man speaks truth.

    Now on to my thoughts - OP, do you want to call/text him or not? I hope the answer is no, honestly. You need to put the on again-off again boyfriend in the past and leave him there. Find it in yourself to have enough self-respect to not allow another guy disrespect you in this way.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    Simple solutions...

    Drop him like wood to a fire. Then date me. Just know you get to travel lots and experience total awesomeness

    dude, someone took a crap in your sandwich...
  • PHATmommy68
    PHATmommy68 Posts: 112
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.


    Very true but don't make false promises just to get some either!
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.


    Very true but don't make false promises just to get some either!

    I never have, never will. I keep it real.

    I'm just keepin' it real with the original poster too. The description of your relationship dictates his behavior. Your off-and-on, so are you really surprised this happened?
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I think he's trying to give you a big "hint, hint" that you shouldn't rely on him and you should move on.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.


    Very true but don't make false promises just to get some either!

    Sadly, guys like him don't usually make false promises. They do say they just want sex and there are always women who think *she* will be the one to change him. Then, when she isn't, heartbreak happens and he says, "I told you so".
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Simple solution.....call and txt me.
  • EyeLikeTacos
    EyeLikeTacos Posts: 324 Member
    You should sext him
  • YaBoiMUGS
    YaBoiMUGS Posts: 237
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.


    Very true but don't make false promises just to get some either!

    Sadly, guys like him don't usually make false promises. They do say they just want sex and there are always women who think *she* will be the one to change him. Then, when she isn't, heartbreak happens and he says, "I told you so".

    THANK YOU! Finally somebody gets it!
  • anewmeforever
    anewmeforever Posts: 36
    You don't show that you are better than someone who is disrespectful by being disrespectful yourself. I do understand the desire to be when you are angry though. Apologising for your rudeness is the right thing to do even though he may not deserve your apology. It is about maintaining your integrity, not his.

    Let's be honest. There was no relationship. He was not really your boyfriend. Not in any real or committed sense. Therefore I don't think you really owe it to him to say it is over. If you want to do so then more power to you.

    I think this is more about a missed race. It is about what you believe you want and need from a relationship, what you believe you are worth and what you think is acceptable behavior. You get the relationships you accept, good or bad.

    If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got...
    ^^This!
  • amsohs85
    amsohs85 Posts: 166
    Calling him or not isnt even the issue...nor is it whether he should apologize or not.

    The question is what do YOU want?? To stay stagnant? Waiting for him to call or show up? Waiting for the next time it breaks off. Waiting for the next time he comes floating back to you on the river called "She's still here and i don't have anything better to do"?
    Because thats sort of what it sounds like...

    When you give all of yourself and make it easy for him what will you get in return? Exactly what you just expierenced. Now to give him the benefit of the doubt maybe he over slept...maybe it wasnt an act of intentional disregard. Only you know for sure deep down inside. And that is ultimately what matters... if you respect yourself you will know exactly what to do here!!

    Best of luck!!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    If anyone I was planning to run a race with told me they were going to a bar the night before I wouldn't expect to see them at 7am ready for the race :laugh:

    Join a running club, meet a new social circle and a hot, new runner boyfriend. All angles sorted :flowerforyou:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Don't.

    The ball is in his court. Regardless of your comment back, he does owe you an apology.

    Unfortunately he is avoiding the confrontation and that is sad. You deserve so much better. :brokenheart:
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    If an off-and-on chick tells me to f**k myself, I'm a go hit up my other shorty until she calms down. Then we can be on again. But that's just me.

    I'm guessing you've been told to "EF off" a number of times!

    Yup, but that was their fault. If I tell a girl all I want is a sexual relationship, don't get mad when you realize that I was serious. That's your fault. I told you ahead of time. Don't try to change me.


    Very true but don't make false promises just to get some either!

    Sadly, guys like him don't usually make false promises. They do say they just want sex and there are always women who think *she* will be the one to change him. Then, when she isn't, heartbreak happens and he says, "I told you so".

    THANK YOU! Finally somebody gets it!

    Lucky for me, I got it at a pretty young age and learned that it only takes about 3-4 dates to weed out the dudes that are just looking to get laid. If they hadn't gotten it by then, they gave up and I kept my dignity. :wink:
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    If anyone I was planning to run a race with told me they were going to a bar the night before I wouldn't expect to see them at 7am ready for the race :laugh:

    Join a running club, meet a new social circle and a hot, new runner boyfriend. All angles sorted :flowerforyou:

    This post wins the thread! Spot on. :)
  • HeatherHoskins
    HeatherHoskins Posts: 157 Member
    Do not call him, let him go. If the race and you were so important to him he would not have gone out drinking the night before. It was not his clocks fault, it was his hangover! The longer you let him get away with this stuff the more time you will have wasted. If he was truely invested he would have been there for you. I hate to say it but It sounds like he is using you. He has no job and no respect for you.

    Your response was justified, not a bad idea at all. Don't be afraid to be honest about how you feel. You were pissed and hurt and there is nothing wrong with that. Do not call him, if he loves you he will call you. If it takes him awhile to get back to you don't answer his calls. You will feel so much better about yourself if you say "I am worth more then these game" I know this from experience, you will love your self 10 fold for walking away.
  • ComicBookGeekGirl
    ComicBookGeekGirl Posts: 202
    If he cant understand that you were upset because he was irresponsible, then there is no point in who communicates first. You paid for the race, you offerred to help with transport, and you even provided wake up service. This guy has it made with you and he probably knows it.

    Unless you like that kind of treatment, don't bother reaching out.
    This.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    Your worthy of someone better... More considerate.... And don't feel bad about your mad txt back to him... That sounded good to me.. :wink: Please move on from this guy.... Your not a doormat.... Your a running fit princess. Don't call or txt him. Block him out, or you will set yourself up for the same irresponsible flakey treatment from him.
  • spynoodle
    spynoodle Posts: 404
    I want to text him just to tell him to "F**k off!??"
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 928 Member
    I'm sorry but texting "just to apologize" is BS. you know you are looking for a window to start a dialogue. just move on. he didnt care enough to text you and tell you what was going on, he didnt care about your feelings to apologize, and by his behavior he doesnt really rate your relationship a priority if he's going out with friends drinking and staying out all night, not calling or texting, and ignoring your calls and texts. you're just going to make yourself look pathetic if you contact him any further. you had the upper hand when you texted him to F off, leave it like that and walk away with some dignity.
  • christopherr9
    christopherr9 Posts: 2
    I can see you are struggling to hold things together. I want to inform you that there is help out there. I have been through similar situations with my current girlfriend to the point where I thought there was no way around the problems we had. I was at the maximum level of desperation to save my relationship. I learned a lot through surfing on the web about the conflicts that my girlfriend and I were facing. One example would be wrongfully dealing with constantly fighting situations about pointless things. I also learned important information such as:

    - Tips and tricks to create and maintain an everlasting “spark” for you and your soul mate

    - Why problems in a relationship at a certain stage arise as often as they do

    - How to avoid these problems and being able to get over them with ease

    - What it takes to know that both you and your partner are putting in 100% effort into a successful relationship

    In reality, most of the mistakes occurring in relationships are not as serious as one or the other partner can make them out to be. Don't let you mind fool you into thinking there is no hope in salvaging your relationship; it will take sacrifice and willingness to move forward from both parts.

    Source: http://relationshipsforum.org/
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
    H*ll NO!
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
    Time to move on down the road.

    And he most likely intentionally skipped out on that color run.
  • Renee253
    Renee253 Posts: 16
    ...You sound so much like me and how I acted with my ex for over 10 years. He would step on my toes again and again and it was ok but I better not say "ouch" I feel you are a good-hearted person and he has provoked you beyond your limits. I'm sure this behavior is uncharacteristic of you, otherwise you would not feel so badly about it. I'm glad that the run was still good for you but I have to wonder if it was overshadowed by more than a little sadness at his not being there? Look back at your history with this guy...has he done this to you in other situations? If I were to guess, I bet he has. Don't let false guilt make you contact him. He knows what he did was wrong and he had it coming to him. I just can't believe he would blow you off for 4 days and not call to apologize when you invested all that time, money and energy in him. Either he is very confident that you will eventually call him back and he can turn the situation around on you and make it your fault and/or he just doesn't care. Either way the prospects for the future with him seem pretty grim. Remember that without respect, there is no love.

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