Mom and Dad are NOT HEALTHY!

Being healthy, like getting an education or working at a nonprofit, is a choice and I think it's one you really can't make for other people.

Maybe try being concerned about their happiness instead. Are they content? Safe? Happy?

my mum and stepdad are the same. They lost a bit on Slimming World but gaind it alll back for the same reason. They cant stick to anythink and they dont seem bothered about my concern

All you can really do is Lead by example.

You can't force them to change unfortunately. Don't continually try to motivate them with talks about what they SHOULD be doing and WHY...they already know. All you can do is try to change your own lifestyle and then maybe they will see the benefits through you and make small changes themselves...

Are they supportive of your weight loss/getting fit journey? Telling them what to do won't help (do you know how many times I've told my OWN mother she needs to eat more than 800 calories a day?), so the best thing you can do is to feed them nutritious food. Offer to do some of the shopping, and volunteer to cook dinner a few nights a week if you can. That way you'll know that they're sometimes eating something more nutritious than a TV dinner!

u cant make anyone want to be healthy. maybe try cooking for them? go for family walks?

You can- its whether they see the reasoning for it! is it excuses stopping them or is it because they really dont want to? (rhetorical)

Most people who are unhappy (my example) want to be healthy but find easy excuses not to change that x


sorry cant spell!

My dad died when he was 59, my mom when she was 70. Neither was overweight, but both smoked their whole life. I am 76 and really healthy. When i was in my mid 40's in a stressfull jo and applied for life insurance, I was not even rated because of my lifestyle.

After mentioning it in a positive way with no attempts you'll just have to lead by example.
That really makes a huge difference for people to actually see it happen.

I agree with most of what others have said, but I do know from experience that little things can help. Just by you doing things in the house can help them. Odds are if you volunteer to cook, they're not going to throw a fit about what you make for them. Don't tell them you're feeding them the "healthy" option, don't make it a "hard sell" just cook some good food. They'll love, and you'll know that for at least that meal they're doing better. You can also buy some snacks that are healthier and offer them to Mom and Dad when you snack -- I hit on a vegan ice cream that I adore and when I wanted some I offered one to my mom. She didn't know it was vegan, she didn't care. She just liked it.

Lead by example. You may not change them completely, but every little bit helps.

Best of luck! :flowerforyou:

Ask them to think about their future. It could be that they consider YOU to be their insurance plan i.e be the one to take care of them when they are old and sick. maybe ask them what they think their health and their lives will look like in 20 years if they continue on in this way? in 10?

What has been the example for elderly years in their families? For example, did they have their own parents become sick and dependent?

It could also be that, like many people, they don't understand the connection between what they eat and their health.

Wow thanks for the advice. . . lol

I hope you didn't intend that to sound as snarky and hateful as it comes across. That was fair advice. "what you want to hear" =/="good advice".

I don't think anyone seriously thinks you're FORCING anything. It's obvious you're concerned about them, and it's natural to want to see someone else you care about feel as good as you do once you adopt healthy habits. You just have to be sure to keep in mind that your choices were made from your own mind and not because someone browbeat you about it. You should allow them the same.

That said, it doesn't mean you can't share the information you have available once in a while. Just try to do it in a non-confrontational way. I have a daughter who is headed on the fast track toward a very unhealthy lifestyle, but if I keep telling her "you need to do ---", she's going to dig in her heels even more. So I might offer to share a bite of a particularly tasty healthy recipe, or invite her on a walk with me. Sure, she might say no, but at least it gets her considering it, and, when she IS ready, she'll know who she can come to for help. Sometimes we kill more flies with honey than vinegar.

You can only model the healthier choices you make, and offer to let them try your food. You can also offer healthier alternatives, and offer to cook the dishes they love in a lower fat, lower calorie kind of way. Think baby steps and remember that old adage “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”. Try not to be too preachy or lecture them. That will make them feel judged and will be an automatic turn off. Good luck

There's been a lot of research about this, trying to help parents choose a new lifestyle - be it eating right, saving more money, etc. Dave Ramsey (financial guru) talks about the difficulty of changing parents' decision-making. He calls it the "Powdered Butt Syndrome." If someone has seen your butt and powdered it, it's nearly impossible for them to see you as the adult you are. Many recommend leading by example. If you're making the right choices and it's working for you, your parents may see the successes you're having and try to emulate you. Or, they might not. Unless you have a really great relationship that allows for an open exchange of ideas (and not many parent/offspring relationships do), they may take your attempts at helping them improve their dietary and exercise choices as criticism or as unsolicited advice from someone that hasn't been in their situation or had their experiences. I know how hard it is to see parents making unhealthy choices; but you have to ask, "Is it worth the strife it will cause?"

I realize that this sounds a little wishy-washy. But, a lot depends on the relationship you have with your parents. Have they responded favorably to advice you've offered them about any topic in the past? Do you think they're likely to be receptive? If not, despite your best intentions and for right or for wrong, they may not find your advice to be in their best interests.

Best of luck! I've been there - it can be done, but it's really hard!