Lost weight and now I NEVER get hit on?!?

Moniqua1
Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok, so far I've lost almost 15lbs (i lost weight before joining mfp). When I weighed.131lbs, I would go out and would be approached several times, now, I go out and NOTHING! I don't understand! I think I look better and have more confidence, but maybe losing a little bit of weight made me less attractive?! Ugh, I don't know, it's a little discouraging. just needed to vent. Has anyone else had this sort of thing occur?!
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Replies

  • oldscratch57
    oldscratch57 Posts: 71
    could be youre more intimidating. but beauty is beauty....15lbs heavier......30lbs lighter.....whatever. dont wait for us, see a guy u like , and approach him! :) he'll probably pee his pants
  • ryno0618
    ryno0618 Posts: 361
    Wow, that is discouraging, but its got to be some weird coincidence as you look phenomenal! Don't stress on it. I'd totally approach you! :) Keep up the good work!
  • Ayirela
    Ayirela Posts: 204 Member
    You're absolutely gorgeous! They are probably intimidated by your awesome looks! Maybe even worry that someone smokin' like you would turn them down. Keep your head high because you're lovely!
  • Jenncoc86
    Jenncoc86 Posts: 203 Member
    all kidding aside there was a study that showed men who knew the girl use to be over weight is less likely to be attractive to her.
    That sucks.
  • josenichols
    josenichols Posts: 8
    One of two things may be happening...Perhaps you have gotten so hot that men are intimidated...Or sometimes when women lose weight their faces get gaunt, and though their body is nice they tend to look a little older, and thus haggard...
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    You may have put yourself out of most men's league.... :smile:
  • Spice_4_Life
    Spice_4_Life Posts: 225
    It's true, they are probably thinkin, she's so hot and she would never go for me. Then again, some guys just like a woman with a little meat on her. Not sure, But I think you look great!
  • IllianaIman
    IllianaIman Posts: 131
    You look awesome; I really think they are intimidated by u.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I lost 40 pounds and trying to get back into the dating scene and I figured I'd get many more looks, but it's not the case. I think I get less attention now that my body looks good than when I was heavier. But then again, I'm 5'11 and have been told I'm intimidating as hell to approach, so maybe the weight loss made that more so. I'm not a cute, 5'2 blonde that's easily approachable...LOL
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Maybe you are just so hot now that the men are intimidated and too shy to approach you?

    I know - it sounds ridiculous - but I used to rarely get hit on during highschool and university, and I always wondered why. I was thin, took care of myself, etc. Years later I was talking to this guy that I knew from highschool and he told me that he and several of his friends used to think I was so hot, but they thought I was intimidating. I was baffled... little old me? Intimidating? Not really! LOL

    Just continue to do what you are doing...be confident, smile a lot, and I am sure the men will start falling all over themselves to get a chance with you. You're gorgeous. :)
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    I'd have to agree with the others. After looking at your pics I'm thinking guys are scared to approach you for fear of being rejected.
  • thetrishwarp
    thetrishwarp Posts: 838 Member
    If I'm going to be honest, if you go out expecting to be hit on, you may give the impression of being self-righteous or stuck up. I'm by no means saying that you actually are, but sometimes people misconstrue confidence as something less flattering. I find that this is largely because people suck.

    BUT you are gorgeous, and you've done a great job, so don't let it get to you!
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    One of two things may be happening...Perhaps you have gotten so hot that men are intimidated...Or sometimes when women lose weight their faces get gaunt, and though their body is nice they tend to look a little older, and thus haggard...
    This is exactly what I'm afraid is happening!
  • GermanicKnight
    GermanicKnight Posts: 445
    Judging form your picture, I think you are a stunner. You look like you are fun to be around.

    My ex gf (whom I still talk to every now and then) lost 40lbs and is now 5'2" 115lbs. She looks much better than she did a few years ago. However, the two guys I know who dated her one time (a piece) said she was VERY intimidating, physically. One guy said it made him feel self-conscious. To me, that is HIS problem, not hers.

    What I suggest is use that newly found self-confidence you have and go up to guys and ask them out. Unless they are blind, gay, or married, they will say yes. You are stunning.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    The majority of fit beautiful women I have worked with hardly got hit on. And I believe it's because many males didn't think they had a chance. Lol, so I used to hit on them. Till I got married. Now I just flirt with them.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • MariaMariaM
    MariaMariaM Posts: 1,322 Member
    Too hot to handle now! I agree with some of the posts. You might be more intimidating now that you lost weight and put yourself out of the the avg men's league. You need to find the one that is just like you confident and not intimidated by a beautiful woman.
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    moves eyebrow up and down illl hit on ya buh babbbby
  • CaseRat
    CaseRat Posts: 377 Member
    Well, you're gorgeous so I'm surprised you don't.

    It's true what everyone else is saying, though. If there's amazing girls at the bar, it's a lot more likely you won't get hit on because most men simply don't have the balls to try.
  • Easywider
    Easywider Posts: 434 Member
    Maybe you're not standing in the right place? I dunno...I don't really go out of my way to hit on women. I'm busy and prefer convenience...It's been working out well.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I wouldn't look at it as such a bad thing really....most women complain about being hit on....but yeah I did read somewhere that men are inclined to go for the not as attractive and not as smart woman....aka the sure thing....as opposed to the incredibly hot and intelligent....so you may be on to something there.....um, sorry for your apparently new hotness???? \m/ :wink:
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    You all are really sweet! I'm about in tears! thank you for being so awesome.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    You are gorgeous! Is it possible that now with your improved confidence that you appear more aloof, less approachable? Maybe now, guys are more intimidated by your beauty?
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    Look at it this way.....now that you've improved yourself so, you have the opportunity to go out and get what you want.....instead of waiting for mr. right to come along....and you have the confidence as well as the look to get it....\m/
  • flyingv555
    flyingv555 Posts: 15
    This one's easy. Now you intimidate people. If you're a good person and a kind person, it will shine through. Don't worry!
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 476 Member
    One of two things may be happening...Perhaps you have gotten so hot that men are intimidated...Or sometimes when women lose weight their faces get gaunt, and though their body is nice they tend to look a little older, and thus haggard...
    This is exactly what I'm afraid is happening!

    Honey, I looked at your pics, and there is NO way you are looking "older and haggard". You are beautiful.... It's GOT to be that they are more intimidated by your confidence. I agree w/ the person who said you should approach the guy, instead of waiting for him to come to you. :) You might just be surprised... :flowerforyou:
  • specialkyc
    specialkyc Posts: 384 Member
    You're beautiful. Since losing weight, you have more confidence. Well, confidence is intimidating to a lot of people. I know it sounds strange, but it's the truth. Just be yourself and people will see that you're a good and confident person.
  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
    Maybe you're not standing in the right place? I dunno...I don't really go out of my way to hit on women. I'm busy and prefer convenience...It's been working out well.

    Hahaha! I will try standing in various places next time. Maybe it's the light.....yeah, that's it. Maybe I'll stand by the door so by the time they leave I can be like, "hey, hey, talk to me!" they'll be drunk, so either one of two things could happen: 1. Liquid courage or 2. Beer goggles!
    I'm not talking about bars in general, though. Gas stations, grocery stores, concerts, ect.
  • pinthin87
    pinthin87 Posts: 296 Member
    I have to agree with everyone else...guys are probably just more intimidated now. They see a hot...fit chick and they no longer know what to say!
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    yep you're beautiful. guys are just intimidated out of fear of rejection. I'd be too. but in my case I am also shy.
  • weathergirl320
    weathergirl320 Posts: 331
    I noticed the same thing! I was 170 and now I'm 125 and I get hit on less. My husband said its because I'm intimidating hot now. Where guys are scared to talk to me lol. I think he is full of bologna haha. Not that I care about talking to other men, but its nice to get free drinks when I'm out!!!! Lol

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