How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

We got engaged 7 months after we met, and married 14 months later. When we got married, I was 21, he was 30, and our son was 5 months old. :P We're celebrating our 10th anniversary this September, and are very happy!

I don't put too much stock in marriage - it is a piece of paper given to you by the government approving your relationship. I don't need someone to approve my relationship and I've gotten used to the "why aren't you two married" comments. I'm not a religious person, so that doesn't come into play. Besides, there was always an expectation in my family that marriage = kids and my Sweetie and I decided early on that we would not be having children. So, as of July 1st we will have been together for 19 years and we're not engaged yet! Although we've talked about marriage recently simply so I can add him to my health insurance. My employer doesn't offer coverage to "domestic partners" and we're not getting any younger.

Actually, the purpose of marraige in the legal sense isn't so that the government can approve the relationship. It is actually more like a business partnership. The marraige contract protects you the same way a contract does in any other sense. I would never dream of going into a business and purchasing a building, hiring employees, taking out a line of credit and signing letters of guarantee with a business partner unless I knew that I had some legal protection in case my business partner/s decided to just walk out and leave me financially ruined.

I always wonder why couples are willing to move in together, purchase homes and cars, have children and pool their money into one checking account and then don't see the need to get married. At least with a marraige contract, while divorce is possible both parties have the protections a contract provides.

Not very romantic, but you're absolutely right!

No actually your not right, in many states all of that equates to being "common law" so it doesn't matter if they walk out and leave they still have to pay for the divorce.

Granted there are a few States that have "common law" however each State still has specific tests for what provides protection and what protection it provides. However, assuming that there is a State that after a specific time period determines you are "legally married" in the eyes of the law without having received an official marraige license my question is out of curiousity. Why not get married then? No need to answer since this wasn't the original point to this thread, just throwing it out there as a alternate point of view.

2.5 years.

7 mos. before engagement, and then married 4 months later.

HOWEVER, we were 32 and 44 years old, and each already had well-advanced careers, lived around the wolrd, and owned property on our own. We have now been married 12 years and have 4 kids.

I still think people should not live together or make significant purchases together until both have made the greater commitment of getting married. This is because it adds significant pressure to relationships that have skipped an essential foundation step. Typically, living together or buying a house imply different degrees of commitment to each party, which eventually wears on both partners, when one is not ready or willing to make the final step. Often, children are then added to the mix (intentionally, or not--sometimes intentionally only by 1 partner), and BAM, it's put-up or shut-up time. This is never a good thing.

Next is the big meltdown of "you pushed me, you pressured me, I resent you, I deserve more, our child deserves more, etc, etc.

Call the lawyers, start writing the checks and it's over before it ever began.

Of course married people get divorced, HOWEVER if one or neither person ever intended to get married anyway, there is much less chance of success.

Hubby and I were together for 4 months before we got engaged.

4 months were married 2 years later been married little over a year and I love him more everyday

I'm at the point with my SO that we're talking about marriage a lot. It's been almost 2 years but we're planning on waiting another year and a half. This is mostly because we now live 14 hours apart.

I've always felt you should know within 1 year if you're going to marry that person. Not that you should get engaged right away or start asking them about popping the question, but 1 year is a pretty good time frame to go through the ups and downs and really know what the person is like.

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, but it hasn't been consistent. :-/ We broke up for like a year and then got back together, so this time around has only been a little over a year. IDK, I am kind of giving up on ever getting married. I don't think its ever going to happen in this relationship, but I love him and I don't want anyone else, so I guess my wedding dress dreams just need to die. I am 26 and it sucks seeing all of my friends getting married and my boyfriend telling me he doesn't believe in marriage. :-/ I guess I understand why he doesn't, though. Both of his parents have been married more than once and none of his family really has stayed in their marriages, so he hasn't had good examples... my parents, on the other hand, have been married for 27 years. My grandparents were together until death did they part. Only 2 people have gotten a divorce, one aunt and one uncle... so yea. I believe it works because I have seen it work, he believes that marriages are the end of relationships because thats what he has seen.

Ah marriage ..... to each his own
met and moved into together 5 months into relationship
enagaged at 11months
married a year after that, I was 25 and he was 23
in two months will be celebrating 9 years and I love him more now then the day I married him.

2months, though we were talking about marriage within the first 3 weeks or so.