How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

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  • dianer75935
    dianer75935 Posts: 186 Member
    4 months were married 2 years later been married little over a year and I love him more everyday
  • roeann53
    roeann53 Posts: 124 Member
    The following are just my thoughts - which doesn't mean they should be considered as anything of importance. My husband and I started living together after about 3 months.. he wanted to get married, I wasn't so sure about it, so we never got 'engaged'. But we finally did marry, and that was 34 years ago. If you are thinking about getting married to help you maintain and/or building a strong relationship - marriage doesn't give you that, that's something you need to work on achieving or maintaining every day whether you are married or not. Would I do marry again.. strangely maybe not, even after all of these years, I'm still not a big fan of marriage per se, I think its major value is for your children's security, and the surviving spouse, just in case something happens to one of you.
  • xxthoroughbred
    xxthoroughbred Posts: 346 Member
    I'm at the point with my SO that we're talking about marriage a lot. It's been almost 2 years but we're planning on waiting another year and a half. This is mostly because we now live 14 hours apart.

    I've always felt you should know within 1 year if you're going to marry that person. Not that you should get engaged right away or start asking them about popping the question, but 1 year is a pretty good time frame to go through the ups and downs and really know what the person is like.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    Four years.
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
    I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, but it hasn't been consistent. :-/ We broke up for like a year and then got back together, so this time around has only been a little over a year. IDK, I am kind of giving up on ever getting married. I don't think its ever going to happen in this relationship, but I love him and I don't want anyone else, so I guess my wedding dress dreams just need to die. I am 26 and it sucks seeing all of my friends getting married and my boyfriend telling me he doesn't believe in marriage. :-/ I guess I understand why he doesn't, though. Both of his parents have been married more than once and none of his family really has stayed in their marriages, so he hasn't had good examples... my parents, on the other hand, have been married for 27 years. My grandparents were together until death did they part. Only 2 people have gotten a divorce, one aunt and one uncle... so yea. I believe it works because I have seen it work, he believes that marriages are the end of relationships because thats what he has seen.
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
    I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have known each other our whole life (growing up he was my brother's best friend). He has asked me to move in, but I wanted to be traditional. I wanted a ring before that happened. Thus, I still live at home with my parents because I don't have a ring yet.

    Living together, buying a house together, being engaged, etc. is a huge step. Do not take it lightly. Don't feel pressured to do it because everyone else around is. I am the oldest of my girlfriends here are there stories
    *One was married, had a kid, divorced, had another kid, and engaged again she is literally 22 years old!
    *One is married and has been for almost 3 years now (she is 24)
    *One is married and has a kid and has been for 4 years (she is 23)
    *One has a kid and live-in boyfriend (not the dad)
    *One is single but owns her own home

    So believe me.. i understand the feeling! However, I have enjoyed taking our relationship slow. have you talked about marriage? Do you feel that you are 100% positive he is the one? Does he feel the same way!? do some talking with him!

    I don't feel pressured to get married because other people are doing it. I said in my post that it was merely an observation. We've talked about it yes. I actually got a text him about an hour ago with a picture of jeep that he wants saying we should get one together when we get married. I know marriage doesn't always work out how people expect it to, but it is a committment I'm willing to make and would like to do so.
  • SWEETS1234
    SWEETS1234 Posts: 243 Member
    Ah marriage ..... to each his own
    met and moved into together 5 months into relationship
    enagaged at 11months
    married a year after that, I was 25 and he was 23
    in two months will be celebrating 9 years and I love him more now then the day I married him.
  • artslady96
    artslady96 Posts: 132 Member
    We got engaged fifteen months into our relationship and then spent thirty-three months engaged due to my age because I was engaged at 20 years old. I agree with other posters, though, in that nothing ends well when you compare your relationship to other people's relationships. Every couple is unique. However, it may be appropriate for you to discuss with your SO your life goals, especially marriage and children. If you are on the same page on both counts, then don't worry about a schedule and, especially if you love him, don't give him an ultimatum.
  • rumpusparable
    rumpusparable Posts: 160
    2months, though we were talking about marriage within the first 3 weeks or so.
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
    We got engaged fifteen months into our relationship and then spent thirty-three months engaged due to my age because I was engaged at 20 years old. I agree with other posters, though, in that nothing ends well when you compare your relationship to other people's relationships. Every couple is unique. However, it may be appropriate for you to discuss with your SO your life goals, especially marriage and children. If you are on the same page on both counts, then don't worry about a schedule and, especially if you love him, don't give him an ultimatum.

    As I've said many times I'm not comparing my relationship to others it was just an observation. I know for a fact my relationship is A LOT different than anyone else's. I am not going to give him an ultimatum either because I'm not going to lose the guy I love if he isn't ready yet, and we are on the same page with what we want in life as this has been discussed. I just WANT to be a different place than we are, not because anyone else tells me I should or because I'm comparing my life to anyone elses. I'm ready for next steps because I feel like that is what is best for US. Every relationship has natural progression it should follow, for us to be at the same status of boyfriend and girlfriend as we were when we were 15 seems insane because we're so much different than we were then and our relationship is stronger than that, I feel like our level of committment to each other should reflect that.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Six years. Then it was another few years until we got married.
  • ElviraCross
    ElviraCross Posts: 331 Member
    6 months
  • kburns0709
    kburns0709 Posts: 297 Member
    two years
  • Wouga
    Wouga Posts: 145 Member
    We got engaged 6 days after our first date, married exactly one year after that, and this October we'll celebrate 11 happily married years together. Our friends and family thought we were crazy, but we knew.

    Oh, and I should probably also tell ya, we had been friends for about a year and a half before that first date happened...so it wasn't like we were perfect strangers. ;)
  • egarcia83
    egarcia83 Posts: 11
    We were together for 7 years before we got engaged. We already had a 5 year old and had bought a house together. We were 25 and 26 when we finally got married and now have 3 children. We waited so long because we were so young when we met and were not ready to get married. I know that in a sense we were married since we were living together and had a child together, but taking that next step was a big step for us. Every situation is different and you will know when you are ready. I finally told my husband one day that I deserved the happily ever after and wanted to get married and he proposed to me that night, we got married a year later.
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet.

    Welcome to my life, you sound JUST LIKE ME!

    My bf and I are 23 years old, we've also been together for 6 1/2 years. We bought our first house when we were 20. Still no engagement ring on my finger, and it looks like everyone else I know is tying the knot... :grumble:
    Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
    I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet.

    Welcome to my life, you sound JUST LIKE ME!

    My bf and I are 23 years old, we've also been together for 6 1/2 years. We bought our first house when we were 20. Still no engagement ring on my finger, and it looks like everyone else I know is tying the knot... :grumble:
    Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

    Thank god I'm not alone! Good luck on tying the knot! Hopefully it will happen for you soon :)
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet.

    Welcome to my life, you sound JUST LIKE ME!

    My bf and I are 23 years old, we've also been together for 6 1/2 years. We bought our first house when we were 20. Still no engagement ring on my finger, and it looks like everyone else I know is tying the knot... :grumble:
    Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

    Thank god I'm not alone! Good luck on tying the knot! Hopefully it will happen for you soon :)

    Thanks, and best of luck to you as well! :)
    The time will come when you're both ready. I also have a very unique relationship with my bf, we're not traditional in any sense!

    And ETA: We've been living together for the past 5 1/2 years. Aside from the fact that I don't legally have his last name, we pretty much have been acting like a married couple since we were 17, and my family seems to think we got hitched years ago LOL
  • AngieWood611
    AngieWood611 Posts: 38 Member
    5 years, then 2 years engaged (in that time we bought a house). I thought he would never ask, i even complained to him the week before he proposed saying "Where is the relationship going?"
  • puggleperson
    puggleperson Posts: 740 Member
    Almost 9 years! Our 9 year "anniversary" is coming up on Friday and we got engaged in OCtober! I never once questioned where the relationship was going. I knew and know he is crazy about me!
  • andreamkelly
    andreamkelly Posts: 169
    I knew my husband 5 weeks when we got engaged and about 6 weeks when we got married. We remarried in the church later that year. We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary (the 1st one) in May.
  • Beccatink
    Beccatink Posts: 27 Member
    We got engaged after 4 years and already had 2 kids together. It's been a long engagement and we are finally getting married on our 10th anniversary of being together next year.
  • Tranquil_Miche
    Tranquil_Miche Posts: 66
    7 years and we married a year later. We lived together the entire time, so we acted as though we were married prior to the paper. We waited so long because we started dating at ages 18 & 19, and just weren't ready. We finally married at 26 & 27 After the wedding for some reason times became A LOT tougher. Many times I didn't think our relationship would survive, but now I think we have even more of an appreciation for one another. We've been married almost three years now.
  • mrsknash
    mrsknash Posts: 47 Member
    We were engaged within 3 weeks of meeting, we'd bought our first home within 3 weeks of the engagement and married 8 months after that. We'll have been married for 8 years next month, and we now have 3 beautiful children aged 4 years, 2 years and 3 months.
    When the time is right, you'll know it!
  • paulaviki
    paulaviki Posts: 678 Member
    We'd been together 4 years and I was 28, got married last August and have now been together 6 years and are heading towards our first anniversary. :)
  • jenbridges
    jenbridges Posts: 213 Member
    we knew each other in high school but never dated (graduated 20 yrs ago). we reconnected in July 2008 and had our first date Sept 2008. We moved in together in Feb 2009 and got engaged Nov 2009. Married Nov 2010. He had always said he was never going to get married, and people still tease him about this. But he says he just hadn't gotten together with me yet :love:
  • disneydreamer61605
    disneydreamer61605 Posts: 23
    I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet. **Edited to include that this is merely an observation, not that I think we should be at the same point or compare our relationships to other people. I know that ours is much different than others and I respect that I just feel like it is time for us to be taking next steps.

    So, how long were you with your SO before getting engaged?

    I am 23 my Husband 24 We got engaged when I was 21 he was 22 engaged for a year got married we were together 5 yrs at engagement 6 at our wedding I felt like you did Even though your young thats a long time and age doesnt matter!
  • tameejean
    tameejean Posts: 197 Member
    7 years. I was 16 and he was 17 when we started dating, we got married when I was 23. That was 12 years ago :-)
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I was browsing profiles one night in july 2006 and wrote to him. He wrote me back the next day. We added eachother on our instant messengers so it would be easier to talk. We eventually started talking on the phone when he asked me to marry him in April 2007. We met first met eachother in person in July 2007 (a year after we met online) and before I had to go back home he gave me a copy of his dog tags and gas money (he lived in Indiana and I lived in Arkansas). We continued to talk on the phone when his sister-in-law was telling me lies so I broke up with him for a day til he called me and we talked things over. I went to Indiana in November 2007 and we got married in a court house. We barely knew eachother in person and didn't have much so we didn't give eachother rings. I almost ran out of the court house cause I was petrified being a wife to this man I hardly knew but he was holding really tightly to my hands so I went stayed and married him. Our 5 year wedding anniversary will be in November. We have been together for 6 years next month :heart:
  • childofArtemis24
    childofArtemis24 Posts: 334
    6 months

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