Not looking to be judged, I just need help.
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I know eating 1200+ calories sounds scary-it was for me too. I had a hard time no trying to stay under 1000 calories a day. BUT once I started eating more calories I'm not going to lie I did gain a few pounds (like 3), but I was told not to despair and to keep on with it-so I did. What it seemed like was my body was hoarding the weight unless I started eating under 1000 calories again. After eating 1200+ a day for about a week I felt better. I had more energy! I was less moody. It was a break through for me.
By daily calorie intake is about 1310 per MFP and I do my best to meet it. Find some healthy food you LOVE eating. Mine is corn on the cobb- I don't know what I am going to do when it gets out os season again. I also found out I LOVE greek yogurt0Chobani's fruit on the bottom is wonderful.
When you eat more your body isn't afraid to lose the weight-it is happy again.
While I may never fit into a size 0, if that is a reasonable goal for you then go for it. I agree people freak out when they see you mention wanting to fit a 0, but if it just won't buckle then you need to make those small changes your body is craving.
Also, drink TONS of water. When I would hear people talk about Water Weight I always thought it was weight from the water they drank-don't laugh, I know it sounds silly, but it was never explained to me. One week I was sick with a stomach bug and drank water like it was going out of style and did my best to keep my calories up-in that week alone I lost 3 pounds. Who knew!
If you want to talk, feel free to friend request or message me. I wish you the best of luck!0 -
Whether or not a size zero is healthy is totally up to your body frame, and none of us are in a position to judge that. What is very obviously NOT healthy is your self-image. Don't worry, though! It's totally fixable.
Breathe. I got tense and stressed just reading your posts. Do you find that your muscles are clenched or tense when they don't need to be? In addition to being downright unhealthy, stress boosts cortisol, which makes you retain fat. So there's triple motivation to relax -- emotional health, physical health, and fat loss. Easier said than done, I know, but there are a couple really easy steps you can take.
First, it sounds like you care more about the jeans than the scale anyway, yet it's the scale you're using to beat yourself over the head. So toss it altogether, or bury it in the dark recesses of a closet or hard-to-reach cabinet and only pull it out once a week, on a pre-designated morning, to check your weekly update. That's it -- no more. It's just adding stress to your life.
Second, deep breathing is totally easy and totally free. Try 5 minutes a day -- even if it's just in bed right before you go to sleep. Breathe in through your diaphragm -- it's your belly that should rise and fall, not your chest. 5 seconds in, pause for a second, 5 seconds out. If plus or minus a couple seconds feels better, that's cool too.
Try yoga. Don't approach it as a workout or a weight-loss mechanism -- it doesn't matter if your heart rate goes up, or if you master the pose. What matters is stretching your body, really paying attention to how it's feeling and what it's doing, and learning how to relax all those muscles. I have never been so relaxed as when I learned to let go in yoga and really FEEL my body. If it makes you cry, that's okay.
I'd talk to your doc about your calorie intake. It seems really low to me. You'd mentioned not knowing how to boost it; a handful of healthy, nutrient-rich nuts a couple times a day would do it. Nuts are powerhouses (and so tasty)!
What is it that concerns you about seeing a therapist? Now's the best possible time to do it -- odds are, you're covered by your school insurance, and right now is when you are establishing the patterns for the rest of your life. Therapists are there to help, and they've got some pretty great tools. If you broke your leg, you'd go see a medical doctor, right? Well, an emotional injury is just as real, and they have the training to help you heal it. Go back and read the post you wrote, but pretend it's your best friend or sister telling you that was how THEY felt about themselves. Would you let them talk that way about themselves? Or would you help them get help? If you can approach an Internet site full of strangers for help, you can go see your school's therapist. You can do this. You are so much better and stronger than you're giving yourself credit for.0 -
Oh, and one more note about clean eating -- don't be a perfectionist about it, and you'll see it can be a lot cheaper and easier than you think. Like another poster said, eggs & beans are really easy, cheap and healthy. Personally, I love soup. You can make a huge pot of fabulous soup that is chock-full of veggies & beans for super cheap, and eat it for a week!
(and if you'd like some help with recipes, I can share!)0 -
Whether or not a size zero is healthy is totally up to your body frame, and none of us are in a position to judge that. What is very obviously NOT healthy is your self-image. Don't worry, though! It's totally fixable.
Breathe. I got tense and stressed just reading your posts. Do you find that your muscles are clenched or tense when they don't need to be? In addition to being downright unhealthy, stress boosts cortisol, which makes you retain fat. So there's triple motivation to relax -- emotional health, physical health, and fat loss. Easier said than done, I know, but there are a couple really easy steps you can take.
First, it sounds like you care more about the jeans than the scale anyway, yet it's the scale you're using to beat yourself over the head. So toss it altogether, or bury it in the dark recesses of a closet or hard-to-reach cabinet and only pull it out once a week, on a pre-designated morning, to check your weekly update. That's it -- no more. It's just adding stress to your life.
Second, deep breathing is totally easy and totally free. Try 5 minutes a day -- even if it's just in bed right before you go to sleep. Breathe in through your diaphragm -- it's your belly that should rise and fall, not your chest. 5 seconds in, pause for a second, 5 seconds out. If plus or minus a couple seconds feels better, that's cool too.
Try yoga. Don't approach it as a workout or a weight-loss mechanism -- it doesn't matter if your heart rate goes up, or if you master the pose. What matters is stretching your body, really paying attention to how it's feeling and what it's doing, and learning how to relax all those muscles. I have never been so relaxed as when I learned to let go in yoga and really FEEL my body. If it makes you cry, that's okay.
I'd talk to your doc about your calorie intake. It seems really low to me. You'd mentioned not knowing how to boost it; a handful of healthy, nutrient-rich nuts a couple times a day would do it. Nuts are powerhouses (and so tasty)!
What is it that concerns you about seeing a therapist? Now's the best possible time to do it -- odds are, you're covered by your school insurance, and right now is when you are establishing the patterns for the rest of your life. Therapists are there to help, and they've got some pretty great tools. If you broke your leg, you'd go see a medical doctor, right? Well, an emotional injury is just as real, and they have the training to help you heal it. Go back and read the post you wrote, but pretend it's your best friend or sister telling you that was how THEY felt about themselves. Would you let them talk that way about themselves? Or would you help them get help? If you can approach an Internet site full of strangers for help, you can go see your school's therapist. You can do this. You are so much better and stronger than you're giving yourself credit for.
I know it's the scale that causes me to feel this way but I just can't seem to let it go. I feel like I'm married to the scale, some days it makes me happy, some days it makes me sad, we fight to the point I take the batteries out but I love that scale so much I have to put the batteries back in. (excuses me weirdness) I'm putting the scale in the garage, trust me I'm too lazy and too scared to go in that garage to get it after I put it in there. I'm just afraid that when I do get rid of the scale I'm going to get addicted to something else that's not going to help me. & I love doing yoga, I just started doing it and I'm in love, I do have a problem with concentrating will doing it though but I hope I get better at it.0 -
To answer all of your question. Yes I am in school and yes my school does have a counselors, honestly I don't think I'll ever have enough courage to go and talk to her about something like this. My doctor is okay with my weight, I know when I went to her a couple months ago (I weighed more than) she told me to kind of watch what I eat because I was close to be in an unhealthy BMI range. I can almost fit into my size 0 pants they just won’t buckle. I was hesitant to post that one of my goals was to be a size zero because I know that a size zero is looked down upon and looked as unhealthy but I don’t think it is.
Darling, a size zero is not unhealthy.. esp if you are naturally there. At 5'9, and a size 4, I'm looked down upon by other women as a genetic freak who must be a walking stick. Instead I'm 151 pounds with a pretty nice *kitten* and muscle to boot.. so don't let others tell you what is healthy and what is not. Only you know what is good for you.
Secondly, You do not have to eat clean by no means.. only if you want to. As long as your calories are less then what you are taking in, then you will lose weight. Does eating healthy make you feel better and have more energy? For the most part, yes.. but if you can't do it, it's not the end all be all to weight loss.
As far as increasing calories go, start small.. like 100-200 calories a week and see how your body reacts. You may see a gain at first, but know it's water weight and not fat. When your weight levels off and you start to maintain, you know where your maintenance level is. From there you can deduct either 250 calories for half a pound a week loss or 500 calories for a pound a week loss and see how your body does.
While I'm in the process of increasing my calories should I exercise lightly or not exercise at all. I don't want to burn off any food that my body needs.
You can exercise to any intensity that you want.. but know that you should prob. eat at least some of the exercise calories back then if you are worried about not eating enough.
I wouldn't say that you have to cut out cardio.. you can do cardio, yoga, strength training... whatever you choose.
Just listen to your body and if it says hey, i'm hungry! then feed it. That's what it really boils down to.
Thank you, I'll try my hardest. I just have to remember that food is not the enemy. ( easier said then done)0 -
I wasn't going to judge you, but damn you wrote so much.0
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I wasn't going to judge you, but damn you wrote so much.
Because I wanted help (I see that not what you came on this forum to do) and I wanted people to understand where I was coming from. I included details you know all of that, Oh wait am I writing to much?......I'm just so sick of the arrogant people on here I seriously am. Go make jokes somewhere else!0 -
Well for starters, don't be so hard on yourself. There are so many millions of people that struggle with weight loss and all they need is that push, that motivation, to keep them on track. Unfortunately I am one of those that have struggled - I hated going shopping for clothes, I was obsessed with the scale and watching the numbers go up, I was depressed, I knew I was overweight, but I just wasn't ready to make the changes.
In January of this year, I was looking at pictures of Christmas, and came across a really awful picture of me...and as I kept looking through the pictures, I realized it wasn't just one picture, it was all the pictures...I was disgusting myself looking at them all, but I'm glad I did, because it gave me the motivation I needed to begin changing myself - but I wasn't sure where to begin. My friend directed me to this website, My Fitness Pal, and it's really helped me a lot, I've met a lot of awesome people, and they've been a great help. Also, we have a 3 1/2 year old that's getting ready for T-Ball, and I don't want to be a sit-on-the-sideline chubby mommy! I want to be chasing him and playing with him without running out of breath, without falling over my fat self! It sounds bad, but that's just how I felt.
What got me where I am (I'm down 35lbs), is taking every milestone "5lbs at a time". I would set a 5lb goal for myself and see if I could do it. Once I got there, I'd set another 5lb goal, and so on and so on. I've found the Insanity workout now and have been doing that for 4 weeks and have really built up some awesome muscle, so although my scale isn't moving, I'm down 8.5 inches since I began 4 weeks ago. You have to remember, the scale is not always the best way to gauge your progress too. When I plateau'd by doing Insanity, I got really upset, but once I began my measurements and all my clothes were noticably baggy, I realized I was making some great progress.
You need to start at square one: Change your eating and set a goal. Set a 5lb goal for your self and start with small changes. Change out your potato chips for banana chips. Change out your soda for diet soda (later you should avoid soda completely but to begin just start with small changes), begin incorporating water into your diet, just start small. If you think "Oh I have to lose 80lbs and I have to do x,y,z to get there" you'll never make it....I know because that's why I always used to fail. This is the first time I've put my mind to losing weight and getting healthy since I was first married - when I got married 16 years ago, I was 102lbs and my wedding dress was a size 2 - now all these years later I found myself comfortable at 183lbs and a size 16??? No way!!! That's ridiculous!! I just made a few small changes to start, I didn't decide to plow into a "diet" because a "diet" means a temporary thing, and I have made a lifestyle change. Do I cheat every once in awhile? Absolutely!! BUT...as with everything...moderation is the key. I eat healthy 99% of the time now, and for the first time in 6 months, this past weekend we went to my favorite mexican food restaurant to celebrate my 35lb mark. It was great, but I could feel the crappiness setting in after I ate - especially considering how good I eat now - you'll really be able to feel the difference.
Wishing you all the best of luck!!!!0 -
Hey There!
The main thing I have done is cut out processed foods. I hardly ever eat chips, drink coke, eat fast food, or mostly anything from the store that you can't prepare yourself.
Now for snacks, I eat almonds, I have had beef jerky which I need to start steering away from but I like the protein, a peanut butter sandwich. Right now I'm doing weight training to lose weight and gain muscle so I do use a couple protein shakes. I eat a lot of grilled chicken and veggies.
From January to March, I cut out chips, coke, fast food and I lost 30 lbs without working out, mind you I was quite overweight. In april, I started exercising, first with the Insanity program and now p90x and I have lost SOO many inches off my chest/stomach/waist/hips plus I've lost 12 more pounds through that.
Strength training is GREAT for losing inches off your body. The thing is, you need to fuel your body with good nutritious foods in order to help. You don't have to be a bodybuilder to lift weights. A lot of women strength train and get great results without looking like a man. They look like a fit woman!
I eat about every 2 to 3 hours whether it's a pbj sandwich, a shake, or an apple and if I don't, my stomach starts yelling FEED ME because it needs energy.
Listen to your body, not your scale. If you get obsessed with the scale then you can't properly maintain good nutrition because of your mental attitude. I don't think this is something that a school counselor needs to hear unless the problems go deeper then that but just need the mindset to say, I'm tired of where I am and I'm going to do something about it. You'll feel so much better accomplishing something that you set your mind to.0 -
I have battled some ED issues in my lifetime. I refuse to own a scale for this reason. I only weigh in at the gym and only the once particular branch of the gym...I use my clothing to make sure I am on track. If my clothes get too tight I need to make changes.
Also I reiterate the message about saying positive affirmations to yourself each day. Start with one or two each morning. I think finding a few that are fall backs for days you are feeling self critical...ie you feel bloated but notice you have kick *kitten* eyes....it helps....
I have recently gone through an effort to have a healthier attitude toward my food. I am tired of feeling like I need to earn my right to eat. I added 75-100 cals to my target calories every two weeks until I got to my maintenance calories. After a few months I changed my perspective again and went for more of a TDEE approach. I have to admit it has been healthier for me.
Fill your house with great foods, nuts, beans, quinoa (lasts forever etc), eggs, veggies, frozen veggies are cheap and work well...and fruit ..yummmm0 -
From me to jump from how much I've been eating to eating over my BMR or even over the 1200 calories that MFP set me at is beyond scary, I have my diary public now ( I though it was before but I made my profile public not my diary opps) so can someone tell me how I can start increasing my calories so I don't gain
For some odd reason my diary won't show up so here's the link http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/SmallBodyBigHeart
When you first increase your calories, you *might* gain a slight amount of weight. Don't freak out about it. This is just your body's way of holding onto what it needs. After a couple of weeks, your body will accept this as your new normal, and reset itself, and your weight should start dropping again.
While this is happening, it is best to not weigh yourself often. Judge instead by how your clothes fit. Also, you should notice things like better mood, more energy during the day, and sleeping more soundly at night. These things should give you good motivation to keep going.
As a side note, with all the exercise you do, if you are eating correctly you may actually *decrease* in size but actually *gain* weight. This would be excellent, as it is a sign you are gaining muscle mass. A pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same amount, however the muscle is more compact and takes up less space. Having more muscle means you will be able to have a higher metabolism (burn more calories) while at rest.0 -
Hun I struggle to... It has been slow for me . I started in March and I am only almost to my first goal of 20 pounds... One thing I found helpful though is taking my measurements .... I have lost 5 inches so far and that makes me feel better than loosing the weight :-)0
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I have battled some ED issues in my lifetime. I refuse to own a scale for this reason. I only weigh in at the gym and only the once particular branch of the gym...I use my clothing to make sure I am on track. If my clothes get too tight I need to make changes.
Also I reiterate the message about saying positive affirmations to yourself each day. Start with one or two each morning. I think finding a few that are fall backs for days you are feeling self critical...ie you feel bloated but notice you have kick *kitten* eyes....it helps....
I have recently gone through an effort to have a healthier attitude toward my food. I am tired of feeling like I need to earn my right to eat. I added 75-100 cals to my target calories every two weeks until I got to my maintenance calories. After a few months I changed my perspective again and went for more of a TDEE approach. I have to admit it has been healthier for me.
Fill your house with great foods, nuts, beans, quinoa (lasts forever etc), eggs, veggies, frozen veggies are cheap and work well...and fruit ..yummmm
Thank you so much for posting this. I want to throw the scale out so bad but until I get courage to do so I'll just keep it in the garage. I'm going to start increasing my calories every two weeks, I think that would help me to not gain.0 -
It sounds as though anxiety is in control, not you. You need to figure out whose voice you are listening to in your head. It doesn't sound like yours. The voice that's saying you're not good enough is in control and this probably makes you lose your balance - it's either all or nothing.
Find your voice. You are so young. Work on the underlying issues. What's happening with the scale is only the outward manifestation of something that's telling you you're not worthy.
You are. Listen to you.0 -
Hun I struggle to... It has been slow for me . I started in March and I am only almost to my first goal of 20 pounds... One thing I found helpful though is taking my measurements .... I have lost 5 inches so far and that makes me feel better than loosing the weight :-)
I take measurements but sometimes I hate doing it because I don't know if i'm pulling the measuring tape to tight or what.0 -
I'm not as good with my words as some of these other people so if this doesn't make sense I apologize. There is no magic formula. If you feel like you can't give up your scale just yet, try putting a piece of duct tape over the display. You can stand on it all you want but you won't have to see what it says. Now a bit of advice about a therapist....there is nothing---NOTHING--that you can say to her that she has not already heard. I know it's scary and hard to open up to a complete stranger but you know what? You can do it. Just remember....
Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.0 -
Interestingly I just had an issue today with someone only eating 500 calories a day. She is crash dieting and doesn't want to see what that will do to her body. I provided her enough information to scare anyone with common sense, lol, but now it is up to her to decide for herself that it isn't healthy. So it makes me happy to see someone else trying to improve a similar situation.
It might be hard to raise the amount of food you eat at first, but maybe try to pick one or two calorie dense foods and incorporate them into your diet. Cheese sticks are great, as are nuts, nut butters...just a small amount of these foods can really make a difference.
In the end it isn't your size that makes you unhealthy, but what you put into (or don't put into) making you that size. I'm not unhealthy because I'm fat, I'm fat because I'm unhealthy. I put a lot of bad, unhealthy foods in my body. You, on the other hand, are unhealthy because you don't put enough into your body. When eating so little it is almost impossible to get enough of the proper nutrients your body needs to function properly and in a healthy way. Both of us are going down a road for heart disease and other similar health problems even though we have completely opposite problems. So crazy when you think about it.
Interesting fact: my lazy 20 lb cat maintains his weight on 250 cals a day. While humans and animals are not directly comparable, it is enough to help put into perspective what kinds of calories a much more active person five times his size should eat.0 -
It sounds as though anxiety is in control, not you. You need to figure out whose voice you are listening to in your head. It doesn't sound like yours. The voice that's saying you're not good enough is in control and this probably makes you lose your balance - it's either all or nothing.
Find your voice. You are so young. Work on the underlying issues. What's happening with the scale is only the outward manifestation of something that's telling you you're not worthy.
You are. Listen to you.
I'm trying, I'm searching for myself. I' am guilty of allow other people and other things to label me. I know I have to find who I really am; I have to learn to love myself.0 -
Step #1: Every day, say 5 things you love about yourself and 5 things you are grateful for.
Seriously. Your mind set is likely holding you back. You see yourself as a failure and your situation as hopeless. It's not. Start changing your mind set to that of a victor, not a victim.
Agreed^^^ I did 10 things to be grateful each day for when I was in the middle of a deep bereavment period. I never had success in the 7 years since my little brother died. I was miserable! I started small with gratitude over even the little things and within weeks it "just clicked" for me (I also did music therapy on myself and meditation). I grew so much!! Now I have patience and persistance in my weight loss journey, even when I broke down in a dressing room last weekend I was momentarily saddened but not discouraged or distracted from my goals, where in the past I would have said screw it and stopped at the Panera across the street. I was surprisingly logical and pep talking myself into sticking with my current plan of calorie counting/exercising for at least 6 more months and get a metobolic test in the mean time.0 -
I would LOVE to go to a therapist I honeslty would, I'm dealing with other problems besides this whol eating thing, but I just can't. It's kind of scary,0
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I'm trying, I'm searching for myself. I' am guilty of allow other people and other things to label me. I know I have to find who I really am; I have to learn to love myself.
Learning to love one's self is a lifelong process that begins with small steps. It doesn't happen overnight. For now, the acknowledgment that something doesn't feel quite right to you is a positive step.
Ultimately it comes down to choices. Take it on a daily basis. Tomorrow, choose not to step on the scale after work. Choose to spend one hour less on researching food/exercise. Choose to add one extra vegetable to your food diary.
As they say, love is a verb so your love for yourself will build as you keep doing little things and making small changes.0 -
What's your reward for not looking at the scale? Give yourself something -- not food related, because most of us are trying to get AWAY from using food as a reward, but something nice, nonetheless. A bubble bath? A foot soak? A pedicure? Whatever little indulgence you can give yourself as a reward for sticking to healthy behavior. And DO it, don't just think about it.0
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Your post just about broke my heart. You are so young and have so much to look forward to in life. Learn to love yourself.....you deserve it! You took this step (which is HUGE by the way) so now just keep going. But at some point, maybe consider making your goals things like, 'I want to be stronger", or "I want to have defined muscles" instead of "I want to be a size....whatever". As you get older, you will find that staying a 0 is very difficult. Your body changes...and when it does, having a healthier attitude toward yourself image will make those changes bearable and not put you back into a depression.
I would be happy to be your friend and help you on this journey. I may be almost 20 yrs older than you, but I am 5'0'' and my goalweight is 110.....I'm shooting for a size 2.
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What scares you about it? I've been seeing one for PTSD; if you want to message me, I'll be more than happy to chat about it. I might be able to set some of your fears to rest...and if I can't, then there's a good chance those fears need confronting.I would LOVE to go to a therapist I honeslty would, I'm dealing with other problems besides this whol eating thing, but I just can't. It's kind of scary,0 -
One thing to think about is get rid of anyone in your life who is verbally abusive to you. Meaning someone constantly telling you things that are wrong about you and never lifting you up. Get rid of the negative people and add positive people into your life. It makes a WORLD of difference.
Get a community of people around you who want YOU to be who YOU are and not what you can do for them.
Go to a new church, join a gym, whatever. Anything to get around people who are positive. Go to college and get a fresh start!0 -
Some much advice and feedback. Thank you so much, I don't even know where to start. I'm really thankful for everyone who gave me advice it means a lot.0
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Dispense with negative influences in your life whether that be the scale or 'friends' judging your weight and eating. Focus on what makes you a great person, rather than these little niggling things you worry so much about. Read about what happens when you do certain things; rationalise weight fluctuations and understand they're natural.
Best of luck.0 -
Hello dear, can I just say how brave I think you are for reaching out for help? You are incredibly brave for reaching out to make yourself better. Personally, I don't know you, so anything I say isn't backed up by science or whatever. First of all you have a whole community of people here that want you to be happy and healthy. We want what is best for you.
I took a peek in your food diary, and sweetie, you aren't eating enough to fuel your body. With all the activities you like to do, you should be eating more. I know you want to fit into your size zeros. I understand that. Hell, for a while I wanted to wither away into nothingness. But then I realized that I would rather be strong, fast and healthy than frail.
You need to change your mental aspect before your body will follow. You are worth SO much that I can't even put it into words. You are worth all the good things in this world, but you need to accept that you're worth it. You deserve to fuel your body with good foods, and keep your body running effectively.
Eating clean is not too expensive. Buy the foods that are on sale in the produce section, or buy the frozen bag of vegetables.
Sweetie, please make yourself well again. You are so young, and have so much potential. Please don't waste it. You might want to talk with a specialist to help you out, they help a lot.
If you want some help, or just someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me.
I wish you the best of luck.0 -
Have you asked yourself why are you so scared of a therapist (you don't need to answer to me)? So many people go. It doesn't have the stigma it once did. If you are worried that your problems are too much, believe me,they have heard it all and are there to help. I really wish you would reconsider going. The quicker you go, the quicker you can sort things out for yourself. I absolutely love the advice above about listing the 5 positive thoughts. I'm going to try that. I think we all have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. Especially when it comes to food issues. There isn't a person on MFP who isn't working on their food intake and exercise habits, you are in good company.0
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I would LOVE to go to a therapist I honeslty would, I'm dealing with other problems besides this whol eating thing, but I just can't. It's kind of scary,
I know that confronting things are scary. You're right, it is. But sometimes you can't go around your problems, sometimes the only way out is through. Are you able to talk to your school counselor? Or a trusted adult? A priest? An older relative? A good friend? A friend's parent? Your own parents? Someone on here? A police officer if necessary?
Once you start talking, the rest is easy. You can do it. We all have faith in you and we believe in you. If someone that doesn't even know you has faith in you, you should have some faith in yourself.
Once again, best of luck.0
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