Long distance relationships.

Long distance relationships are the story of my life, being a military brat. I moved around all my life, bounced from schools around the world, and went to college in one state with family in another. My boyfriend and I met while he was stationed here, then he was stationed in another state, and now he is deployed and my family is also stationed overseas.

It is incredibly tough, not going to lie. There will be days where you just can't fathom going on. Trust is a major thing. Talking as often as possible helps. My bf and I flew to each other whenever we could during four days or when he had leave. We texted each other constantly every day and reminded each other of all the reasons we loved each other. Make every second together count. Now that he is deployed, we do what we can to support each other during this hard time. Loving notes, mailing a box with fun things and reminders of home.
Stick with it. Communication and trust will help you get through it. And I know some day I will be able to wrap my arms around him again.

My husand lived 2 hours away and we only saw each other at weekends I would travel to him one week and he to me the next. It was difficult but also it was nice as seeing each other so little made it special.

As for the jealousy issues that was difficult but we never went down that road and gradually the trust overcame them. It was nine years later that he decided to move to my part of the country and we bought a house together. We lived together for 8 years and just got married 2 years ago.

Long distance requires patience, a great deal of trust and a lot of hard work but they can work out happily

Good luck to you :flowerforyou:

I have been in one twice. the first time with my now ex husband we were divorced a year later. the second with a guy in WV. He was very insecure and whenever I was out he always accused me of dating other guys when the reality was I was either at the store, taking my daughter to 4 h, going to church or out with my mom.

It can work my friends are in one they trust one another and communicate regularly. I would love to have a relationship like that. they are both willing to work together to make it work. most of the time I found one person was willing to make it work and the other was not.

I do have a awesome long distance friend though.:)

When my wife and I met, I lived in Ohio and she was on Ontario, Canada. Bout a 6 hour drive for visits at first. Later (after we got married, but before I finished the immigration process to come to Canada), I lost my job in Ohio and wound up having to move out to Boston, so the drive was more like 9+ hours. Bleh!

It's hard, but you can make it work if both people really want it. Kier and I are both computer gamers, so we were able to spend a lot of time having fun together that way, voice chatting with wireless headsets and Google Talk. We would also do things like rent or download the same movie and watch it together.

I stopped reading the thread as soon as I hit this post. It nails it. I'm in Ontario, and my boyfriend is in Indiana (next to Ohio!). We are also gamers, we burned through a LOT of headsets from talking on Skype and other chat programs, and we've watched movies simultaneously too!

We've been together for 3 years now, and it really is the same as any other relationship: there's great days, there's really bad days, and there's days in the middle. It's hard, takes dedication and trust, and personal strength. The immigration process has thrown us under the bus once already, but we know we want to be together forever, so we're trying again. If there is someone you truly want to be with, you will make it work.

I would suggest the site "love knows no distance" for long distance relationship advice. Fair warning it has its own drama but at least there you're with people in the same situation and the entire site and its forum are geared toward helping you.

That aside I'm currently in one, it'll be 2 1/2 years in August and aside from monetary problems on both sides and his job hindering a lot of communication in any form it's been going well. It's a whole other ballpark to work in and you NEED trust and communication more than if you were down the street from one another because it's easy to assume things or not know everything because you're not physically there. Basically, if it's enough to bother you it's enough to talk to them about. I've seen too many go down the toilet because the women become the psycho girlfriends all men dread when it comes to what they're doing with whom and for how long and was there anyone with a vagina in the room and did they look at them, etc.

I am in a long distance relationship now. (Georgia - California). We were together for 1 year and then I moved about 9 months ago. We rarely left each other's side the entire year we were together so the initial adjustment was really tough. I have to say, my boyfriend is incredibly sweet and supportive. I barely deserve him. He loves to talk on the phone, we watch movies together using netflix and skype. We read books together. All of these things make it a lot easier because we can still enjoy things together.

My boyfriend is in another country than me. I currently live in Australia, and he lives in America. If anything, it's brought us closer than I have ever thought. We trust each other 100%. It's amazing how much this time apart has made our relationship grow so much.

Im in america, the boyfriend in in australia. Im originally from australia. We've been together 7 years, and this is our first year apart. To be honest, if you get in a routine, its not as hard as people think it is (however, for the past 3 years we have both worked FIFO jobs, so we never saw each other much anyway). everyday we talk on skype, or facebook, but we have that hour or two where we will both be online. That time is ours an nothing gets int he way of it.
Yes its hard, and its not for everyone, but knowing this is a short term thing (only a year) makes it bearable. I could not do it if it were a permanent thing. I'm out here training for my dream job, he understands that, but if it were a permanent thing, if I HAD to be here for the rest of my life, I would rather go back home and be with him. Work isnt everything.

It helps that we have 100% trust in each other. Neither of us is the jealous type. which helps.... but without that 100% trust, it wouldn't work.

I have been in a long distance international relationship for almost 3 years. My fiance is from India, we met in the US in 2003. In 2009 the US denied his visa extension (H1-B) and he returned to India. His employer filed an L1-A in October 2010 and we are still waiting for the US to approve or deny the application. I spent 5 weeks with him in India in May 2010 and we saw each other for 1 week in Seattle in April 2011 when he was there for work.

Long distance relationships suck, but we are committed to being together and getting married when he returns to the US. We don't get to Skype very often because the internet/electricity in India can be a little tricky. We talk on the phone twice a day, we text, and we email. I guess my point is, if you care enough about the person to make it work, you can make it work.

i dunno iam in the living room shes in the bedroom the distance is tough thank goodness theres a bathroom inbetween for a rest stop

I'm in Toronto and he's in Pittsburgh (currently in Seattle for work - which is worse!)

I feel blessed to have met him.

It'll be 6 months next month, and I don't remember one day he hasn't made the effort to stay in touch and keep me in the know.

Certainly agree with everyone here about trust and open & constant communication. Long distance is certainly painful, but if you know that this is it, you both work for it, and knowing that this long distance thing is only temporary keeps me going.

I met my boyfriend over an online video game. I knew him 3 years before we met in person. It definitely had it's hard times, but what was the hardest was when we finally met, and could only see each other once a month or once every two months, for only a week at a time. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, and I cried buckets the following days and didn't eat. That lasted 5 months and then I was fired from my job, and decided to move to Nebraska, to be with him. He has a little girl in NE, so the only option was for me to come here. It'll be a year in September since we met and things are better than I ever imagined they could be. A year ago, I hadn't even "met" him yet, and now I live with him!

I trusted him completely, but I talked to him every day for hours, we played our online game together, watched movies over Ventrilo (like Skype) and got as close as we possibly could while being two states apart.

He drove to UT (where I lived) from NE, which is a 14+ hour drive one way, once a month to see me. Not only did it cost $400 each time (he prefers driving over a plane since he's so tall, the seats are always uncomfortable) just to be with me. Oh, he is lovely. It was hard, but very very worth it.


)) Tip: Watch movies together! Use Skype or Ventrilo, so you can talk to each other, and download the same movie, open it and count from 3 so you both hit play at the same time. It's really easy and fun! I can remember our first movie.. The Notebook. My pick, ha! We also watched TV Series together: Prison Break, True Blood, Dexter, Sopranos etc.

)) Tip: Play games together! Pogo.com has a lot of board games you can play together, as well as Zilch which is a favorite we still play today (http://www.kongregate.com/games/gaby/zilch). You can also play MMORPG games if you're into that, and use vent/skype while you're playing (like WoW, Ultima Online)

I was in one for 10 months. It was great, he even said he wanted to marry me. Then one day, he just checked out. Made excuses not to call or skype when we had been doing so every day for months. And when we did talk, he was flat out rude and mean. He'd always been so amazingly sweet before and I felt completely loved in every way. It was like a 180.

Long distance made it hard because he was slipping away and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't make him pick up the phone, I couldn't make him see me face to face. When we did finally break up, he made it clear that it was the distance making it too hard. And he couldn't wait another year or two to be in the same place. He was just done, didn't want to try. Didn't think putting in the effort would make a difference.

I don't know how I feel about long distance relationships now. Mine used to be great. But now I'm questioning if they can really work. I just know I don't want to be in one ever again. I have some serious trust issues after that last one.

I'm in one and have been for 3 years There was some on again off again but the thing is if you really love the person then there's no way you can not be with them even if you're 1,300 miles away (That's mine and my boyfriend's current distance...) I have jealousy issues too sometimes but I'm pretty sure that's normal (I hope!) My way to deal with it is just listening to the reassurance because the fact of the matter is if he wanted to be out with someone instead of talking to you, he would be, he's not just talking to you because you're there.
The only tips I can give you are seriously lame ones, but they work for us. We see each other every day, whether it be a new picture or on Skype, we very rarely go a day without seeing each other. We've done long distance date nights (bare with me on the cheesiness of this...) where we go to a movie that is at the same time (or as close as it can be :P) and talk up until the movie starts and then as soon as it's over and then go eat at the same place. The other thing is just, talking. I know it's obvious, but seriously, talk talk talk talk.
I'd say ours has worked out so far since he's moving here for me in September

I think LDR's have at the base of them, the same problems as a right there beside you relationship...the only thing is those problems seem bigger and are exacerbated by the distance...

but the distance itself is never really the killer, it comes down to trust, doing the right thing, always communicating and surrendering yourself to the process completely...

(again...all things that normally kill a normal relationship too)

i think it does take a special dedication such as in communication and making time for each other....but it's still at the root, the same as any relationship...

trust and let it happen...if it's meant to be, it WILL happen and will be worth the miles, blood, sweat and tears...