Vent, and help with a husband that "can't" cook

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  • lelstar
    lelstar Posts: 374 Member
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    ask him to find crock pot recipes that he thinks he and the kids will like and make a list of what is needed for it.
    set it before going to work with instructions of what to do with it next. I don't think men were programed to come up with a meal on their own. :ohwell: thats just from my corner of the world.

    Oddly enough my Dad taught my Mum to cook and now she's a chef...
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    I can't cook at all. My husband does the majority of cooking. When I got married, I not only got a husband but three kids. Teach your hubby the rule of 3: a starch, a protein, and a veggie make a meal. We always keep chicken, hot dogs, mac & cheesefrozen veggies, noodles, rice, etc... My hubby taught me how to make the basics that way I can cook when he can't. Now they are all in HS which is easier. I keep stuff for them to make their own lunches and they can also cook dinner in a pinch now.
  • AZnewme
    AZnewme Posts: 228 Member
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    Your husband may just have "chefs block" kinda like writers block only with food! I would suggest having a plan. If he can actually cook, then having it written out may help- "chicken thawed in fridge, stirfry veggies in freezer, rice and sauce in pantry and when you're done - text me and I will tell you where the dessert is!, <3".

    Good luck!
  • lelstar
    lelstar Posts: 374 Member
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    TEACH HIM HOW. Not enough people learn basic kitchen skills. Invest in some good all-around cookbooks (America's Test Kitchen, BH&G, etc) and help him learn. Easy, awesome dinners don't ever have to be brown (and you can usually make the brown ones much cheaper than their bagged and pre-prepped counterparts).

    Oh you just reminded me!! Some of my best and easiest recipes come from a kids cook book! it's by Bay Books and it's called The Best Of Kid's Cooking
  • Livingdeadgirl44
    Livingdeadgirl44 Posts: 264 Member
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    My partner can't really cook unless it's putting a pizza in the oven but mainly because he has never had to learn (mum or whoever has always cooke for him) I'm happy to do most the cooking but for days when I may be late at work or such I have pasta and sauces which he can do for us.

    I would like for us to cook together one day a week so he picks up some new skills but that isn't always possible.
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    If you want them to eat what you want them to eat then lay it out for him ...ie the chicken in the fridge already marinating, make the frozen veggies etc easy to see etc. I learned that if I want things done my way I had to make it clear before hand, not be irritated afterwards.

    Some easy dad meals...someone mentioned brown dinner...I make yellow dinner....scrambled eggs, some fruit...ie apples, sliced bananas or peaches, mac and cheese....

    Quesadillas - there are precooked grilled chicken or leftover pork roast, ham slices etc that can be added to the quesadilla....have quacamole and salsa as sides.

    start a crock pot or something yummy...

    or ... be content with what he makes..or do like you said and prep over the weekend
  • tadpole242
    tadpole242 Posts: 507 Member
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    Buy a slow cooker, one with a crock that will fit between the shelves in your fridge. before you go to bed, put all the stuff you need for your slow cook meal in the pot in the fridge. Before you go to work, put the slow cooker on.
    Not everyone can cook, not everyone likes to cook, not everyone should be made to cook. If like me you love to cook, but work long hours, cook over the weekend and freeze in meal portions. if your husband won't help get your kids to help (if they are old enough) teach them to cook at an early age and they will shame him by the time they are teens
  • bug1114
    bug1114 Posts: 268 Member
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    My husband tried to feed our four kids raw (cooked on the outside, bleeding on the inside) hamburgers last night. He only cooks once in a blue moon and this example is why. I'd rather prepare something in advance, stick something in the crockpot, or buy a frozen meal that he can put in the oven then let him feed raw meat to the kids. He is also one to say that there is "nothing" in the house to cook even if we have a freezer full of stuff. I just suck it up and do one of the above mentioned things to save my sanity and to keep from arguing.
  • carreen
    carreen Posts: 175 Member
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    Maybe he really doesn't know how to cook. Take a Sunday afternoon teaching him how to cook 3 or 4 dishes. You'll have your dinners cooked for the week, and he will at least have a handful of items he can make. Keep it simple though; they can't handle too much info at a time :) Good luck!
  • stfuriada
    stfuriada Posts: 445 Member
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    1. Pre cook tons of meals on the weekend or marinade
    2. Freeze
    3. Have him microwave during the week.

    Things like chili, spaghetti, stews. Or make him bake/fry marinated meat.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
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    My partner doesn't cook either and is a fussy eater when it comes to anything healthy. We don't have kids so it's only himself he's harming by only eating pizzas/frozen meals/potato waffles etc. I can't even get him to make himself an omelette.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    I hate husbands/fathers like this that give me a bad name.

    I see where some suggest a "sink or swim" method - that could work. Is it feasible to plan out the meals on Sunday for the week? Just tell him that the kids will have X,Y, and Z on each particular day.

    If that's not enough - send him or print out recipes for each
  • vjrose
    vjrose Posts: 809 Member
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    I just buy straight up protein like chicken, steak, ground turkey, etc, then steamfresh veggies and baby potatoes or steamfresh rice, and fresh veggies and fruit. I have 4 other adults at my house, all of which will resort to take out if I don't leave a list of what to do for dinner so I just say: here's what you are fixing and a short description, dinner gets ready, and the mild direction seems to work. Anyone can cook these days, barbecued chicken, baked potatoes (lol, microwaved) steamed veggies and starches, etc, Endless variations on healthy easy peasy meals. Otherwise they too just stand there looking in a full freezer going "there's nothing to eat"
  • AuntThelma
    AuntThelma Posts: 4,500 Member
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    Help me find a way to get my husband to cook. We have 3 kids. I work later hours than he does. Tonight I'm going to the gym right after work. He has to feed the kids....he text's me to say there is no food in the house, when what he means is there's nothing quick like mac & cheese or frozen pizza, chicken nuggets etc. Our fridge is full of food and so is the freezer.

    I'm livid, he is 35!! The kids can't keep eating junk because he is lazy.

    What do others do for situations like this? Am I to spend my entire weekend making up casseroles and stocking the fridge with frozen crap so he can "cook"??

    Plan and organize. We plan a week's menu at the start of the week and I mark a simple recipe and point it out to him. He starts dinner using the recipe I marked. Start simple - baked chicken is chicken parts in the oven at 350 for45 minutes. He can do that. Add boxed rice and a veggie and the kids are fed. Next night, hamburgers. Next night, BLT sandwiches.

    The key is the daily menu listed on the 'fridge. And starting simple. We did that when my husband lost his job and found himself home while I worked. He now is the best cook in the house, but it didn't start out that way.
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
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    Yes.

    I'm not sure getting livid is exactly the best reaction. I happen to cook 99% of the time ... and domestically keep the house up better too. Yet my wife has her strengths too ... I am glad we have different strengths. While at times I wish she would "do more around the house" I realize that she is an awesome wife and mom in other areas.

    So if it's that important to you, and you are making this situation make you 'livid', I suggest taking one step at a time. Figure out a few simple meals to start him with, buy the ingredients, and teach him the methods. I find when you meet someone at their level and stop assuming they can process things like you, communication is much more open (and effective). Good luck ... and don't let this become a bitter point in your relationship.
    Maybe he really doesn't know how to cook. Take a Sunday afternoon teaching him how to cook 3 or 4 dishes. You'll have your dinners cooked for the week, and he will at least have a handful of items he can make. Keep it simple though; they can't handle too much info at a time :) Good luck!
  • missym357
    missym357 Posts: 210 Member
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    My husband made me dinner one night in 1997. He also made breakfast with the kids for mother's day 2 years ago. I feel your pain. I think the batch cooking could work.
  • Mandino788
    Mandino788 Posts: 226 Member
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    Have you shown him how to do this? I was thinking about it after reading your post and I kind of feel the same way. My mom and sister know how to cook, I know how to bake and microwave. I was never shown how to cook. I mean, I could follow a cookbook but it wouldn't be easy for me. It's also not an easy thing for me to plan a dinner, like picking out what to eat. My natural instinct is like someone else said, brown. Growing up we either had quick food or ate out. On rare occasion my mom would cook dinner, like for a holiday or something or if she was having company over.

    Everyone is saying "just give him a cookbook." It's not necessarily that easy for some people.
  • HisPathDaily
    HisPathDaily Posts: 672 Member
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    This whole idea of "don't communicate with him and let him fend for himself and figure it out" is a bit childish, I wouldn't take those suggestions to heart at all as it can create defensiveness and dissension ... find fun ways to come together, not ways to create walls.
  • Gurmo
    Gurmo Posts: 2 Member
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    Teach him how to grill real food like steak. If he can't grill, make fun of him.

    HAHA Nice!

    Have you thought about taking a cooking class together? Men like a challenge and a cooking class can become competitive.

    To be honest, this guy sounds like he was spoiled by his mother. Does he do laundry? Clean? Have him read this article:

    http://www.newser.com/story/149012/chores-make-men-happier.html
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
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    I agree with the crockpot........if he didn't cook before you married him, chances are he won't ever do it.......my husband likes to learn how to cook new things and I have introduced him to all types of spices. He will either cook up some chicken (chicken breast tenders) or something on the grill or just order a cheese pizza - all fine. But if you want them to have vege's and such....just stick something in the crockpot early in the morning and problem solved.......

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