Overwhelmed - I have so much weight to lose!

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  • gatorflyer
    gatorflyer Posts: 536 Member
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    Hi there! Don't give up. It's really easy to get discouraged when folks say things like that. The important thing is that you realize that whatever happens, you need to be happy with you. Sounds like you are in a place now where you would like to make positive changes. Set small goals and as you reach them, set bigger ones. I think you will find that as you progress, you will get the desire to do even more. Keep a positive attitude and remember there will be setbacks, just put them behind you and move on. GOOD LUCK!
  • melb2003
    melb2003 Posts: 198
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    Seriously take this from someone who has hardly ever been focused on loosing weight. I don't look at the overall picture of how much I have to lose. I take things ONE DAY AT A TIME! When I first started this change in my life, I was so overwhelmed that I had over 130 lbs to lose. I always tell myself, for everyday that I do well, I'm another day closer to my goal. I initially started with a small 10% goal, now, 6 months later, I've lost 52 lbs and I have about 80 lbs left. Even when I have those really, really, really bad days, I just start over the next day and try to do my best. Please don't get discouraged at all, it's a long term commitment.
  • patchesgizmo
    patchesgizmo Posts: 244 Member
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    basically are you ready to do this for your? I am totally hyped, I have lost 18 lbs, this is the most I have ever ever ever lost. I still have a long way to go, but I lost 18 lbs, omg I am so excited. I can do this, I feel successful for the first time in my life. I have a little goal of 40lbs to lose, and a big goal of 138 (now 120) lbs to lose. I finally feel like I might just be able to do this.

    I know you can if you break it down into small chunks for you. You cannot help you body shape, but you can begin to feel good about yourself.

    Teresa:bigsmile:
  • findfan4ever
    findfan4ever Posts: 153 Member
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    You know, insensitive husbands can really destroy a woman. I am so sorry for what you have gone through and wish you had a husband at the time that was supportive and caring enough to help you.

    As a local doctor that oversees a medically screened weight loss program close to where I live, he states to take foods in moderation and to eat several small meals per day. I have seen all too often individuals who completely change their diets that they feel guilty and mentally beat themselves up if they have a piece of cake. When this starts to happen their diet goes by the wayside.

    As I would advise individuals starting out when I was a personal trainer was to make small changes in what they eat to make the transitions to healthier less fatty food easier to adjust to. For example, if someone was using whole milk to change to 2% and then eventually to skim. Simple easy changes.

    Your body is better able to break down smaller meals throughout the day. There is only so much that your body needs and the rest is stored in body fat. The "3 squares" per day should be 4 - 6 smaller meals. It may seem like you are eating all day long, however it does work.

    Also, as your program yields you better and better results, and as your fitness level get better, and you start feeling better about yourself you will start to make better food choices and still be able to have that piece of chocolate cake or candy bar you want without the guilty feelings.

    Feel free to send me an add request for support and exercise help if you need it.

    I would like to say again how sorry I am that your ex hubby didn't do a lot to love and support you enough. Yes, there is a man out there who can and will appreciate the gem he finds within you. Don't give up. Not all men are complete buttheads.
  • milk_shakes
    milk_shakes Posts: 46
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    i have a lot to lose too but i think the important thing is accepting yourself throughout the journey not just when you've crossed the finish line. taking the step to gain control of your life and taking care of YOU is something to be proud of. whether you lose all the weight or not, you are becoming a healthier person and that's what counts.
    and IMHO big butt and hips is a GOOD thing! be proud of those curves they are a part of YOU as a woman. and any dude who tells you "oh what a pity..." is also IMHO a *kitten* who doesn't deserve you
  • milk_shakes
    milk_shakes Posts: 46
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    stay strong. my mom is your age and overweight and is miserable but doesn't do anything to change it. i would love for her to make her life and sense of self worth something to wake up and cherish instead of beind upset all the time. but she is not ready. take every day as it comes slow down and enjoy the ride of getting fit, take the compliments you'll soon start hearing and feel proud.
  • loadsandloads
    loadsandloads Posts: 353 Member
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    You've taken the step of bein here. That's the first .......keep on stepping!
  • Mishadijo
    Mishadijo Posts: 36 Member
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    Your are right. You do have a lot of weight to lose. Many of us here do and there are so many inspiring stories. There is no 'right or wrong answer' on how to lose that weight and then as importantly, keep it off. It is what works for YOU. I've struggled and battled this, as many of us here, most of my life. It is the battle of my life, and I personally refuse to lose that battle. I seriously began this renewed journey to a healther, happier, more active me, 50 days ago (at age 55). And decided then, that I was going to be real with myself and acknowledge that this is going to be one long, and often times very tough, journey. So i personally am not looking for quick hits, or sophisticated approaches. I personally am simply focusing on calorie intake, water intake, consistency and truly making this my number one priority above all else. So far so good, but I know it is going to be a very long road ahead and by taking it one day at a time, but being very persistent in logging in each day, tracking all my intake and drinking much water am hoping eventually that elusive goal will be realized. No matter how far ahead it is, or how challenging it will be I just need to persevere through it all and be consistent. Anyway, we are all different and are motivated in different ways. What motivates me now, is MY goal, and keeping it as my priority whatever life throws at me. So I wish you good luck and best wishes. Most of all I wish you the perseverence and tenacity to stick with this and keep this as your top priority. I know you will feel so amazing throughout the journey as you see that slowly but surely, your goal comes more and more within reach. All the best!
  • amolenda70
    amolenda70 Posts: 1
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    Robin...stick with it! Look at each day as an opportunity in and of itself to take strides toward your goal. Don't get cuaght up in teh failures...celebrate the victories - you've lost 15 pounds! Depending on your circumstances, I would highly recommend a resource I have been using for 2+ months. It's an organization called Retrofit. They offer support and a TEAM approach with a behaviro therpaist, exercise physiologist, dietician and program coordiantor. I've lost almot 30 pounds in nine weeks and have struggled and had the yo-yo effect for years as well. Check them out at www.retrofitme.com
  • lcarr60
    lcarr60 Posts: 30 Member
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    First, off the A**hole who started your down fall on your success by mentioning about your hips being too big should be dealt with! You are trying hard to overcome all of the sadness you have had to deal with in your life over the years. You go Girl! We all get overwhelmed at times in our life with the diets we are trying. Just get healthy. The weight loss will come - it will be slow - believe me but on the otherhand, you will notice you feel better about yourself and when that happens others see that too. Good Luck on the dating arena and keep strong! You WILL succeed! In fact, you already are succeeding. Welcome to MFP.
  • nsalerno90
    nsalerno90 Posts: 68
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    First, guy was insensitive but I doubt he even realized it. So many people don't. However - you are already doing this -- 15 lbs is a lot of lbs. Healthwise you have already made a positive change so celebrate that. Sorry about the date disaster -- I think that is normal and you can certainly save up some funny stories. I have a lot to lose too -- about 60 lbs - and I do what you do. I sit on the sidelines of my life instead of living my life, waiting to be thin enough to enjoy it. Well the hell with that. You stick with this -- take care of you - and begin living. The weight will come off. Anything you do positively is far better than what will happen if you stay on the couch! I love this site - and avoid the people who ***** about needing to lose 5 lbs or want to go from size 4 to size 0. Pick and choose your support and it is possible.
  • robin68562
    robin68562 Posts: 116 Member
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    First, guy was insensitive but I doubt he even realized it. So many people don't. However - you are already doing this -- 15 lbs is a lot of lbs. Healthwise you have already made a positive change so celebrate that. Sorry about the date disaster -- I think that is normal and you can certainly save up some funny stories. I have a lot to lose too -- about 60 lbs - and I do what you do. I sit on the sidelines of my life instead of living my life, waiting to be thin enough to enjoy it. Well the hell with that. You stick with this -- take care of you - and begin living. The weight will come off. Anything you do positively is far better than what will happen if you stay on the couch! I love this site - and avoid the people who ***** about needing to lose 5 lbs or want to go from size 4 to size 0. Pick and choose your support and it is possible.
  • robin68562
    robin68562 Posts: 116 Member
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    Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Those whiners irritate me, too. They have two ounces in invisible fat on their hips that they need to lose and I'm sitting their looking like the Michelin Man's wife. But I suppose perception is reality to the person who is perceiving it, so I guess we should have a little more compassion.
  • ichellebereel
    ichellebereel Posts: 55 Member
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    I would kill to be 261. Keep up the good work! I have so much to lose as well but I have determine in my mind and heart that I'm going to do this! We are in this together!
  • bspolk
    bspolk Posts: 16
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    Hi overwhelmed,

    I can relate to so much of your story. I am 49 and have never been thin or even close, I understand the addiction to sugar and believe I am an addict. I have been divorced for 17 years. My focus has been raising my children so I haven't had any significant personal relationships in all of that time. I am now an empty-nester and find it very lonesome. I have been on the dating sites ony to be looked over because of my weight. The men seem to only be interested in the young, thin and very athletic women and don't even give you asecond look if you don't fit that mold. Unfortunately I think they miss out on some potentionally lasting relationships because they are so short sighted. i think ladies like us have so much to offer but don't even get the time of day because of our weight issues. I have tried so many times to lose weight and actually lost 70 lbs in 2003. Of course I was still fat because I started at 274 lbs. Over the years I put 40 lbs back on and opted for lap-band surgery in 2009. I was successful for about the first year and lost 60 lbs. Again still fat because I still weighed 186 lbs. Once again I have managed to put 18 lbs back on and am currently 204 lbs. The lapband is a very useful tool but doesn't help with sugar cravings at all. Sugar and carbs go down with no problem at all.
    I think I am in a place right now to get serious about getting the weight off and keeping it off. I also know I can't do it on my own. It is too easy to do the "secret eating". Especially when I spend so much time alone. Somehow my brain says if no one sees me eat it then it must not count. Sound familiar?
    I just started using My Fitness Pal last week and would like to buddy up with someone or just a few people who can relate to where I am coming and I to them as well. Your message was the first one that I read and I felt like you might be one of those people. If you would be interested in buddying up maybe we can support each other. My username is bspolk.

    Let me know what you think and good luck!!
  • anna_b1
    anna_b1 Posts: 588 Member
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    Sounds like you're making so many positive changes already! It's not going to be easy (in the end, nothing that is truly worthwhile ever is), but you've got this. One pound at a time, one choice at a time.

    By the way, you sound like someone I would like to know. Sending you a friend request. :)

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