"you don't need to lose weight"

KaidaKantri
KaidaKantri Posts: 401
in Motivation and Support
I keep getting told by almost everyone I know things like: You don't need to lose weight, your fine. Lose weight? where? There's no way you need to lose that much weight. You look fine as you are. Your skinny, what are you talking about?

Anyone else have these issues? It's not that they are REALLY meaning to make me feel bad, but It's frustrating having people think I'm an idiot for trying to lose weight.

I also have a lot of bigger family members that keep telling me I'm super skinny as it is, which isn't true at all.

Just wondering how everyone else is handling these kinds of situations. I'm losing the weight for myself, and I know I won't be happy until I get down to my goal weight, so I really don't care that they think that stuff. But it does get kind of motivational when I hear these things.
«1345

Replies

  • BabyGrl726
    BabyGrl726 Posts: 102 Member
    I understand. In my culture/background/family it is not cute to be skinny or as thin as I am aiming to be. Women in my family have hips butt thighs and boobs for days...so for me to want to erase all of that from my body is absurd to my family and some of my friends.

    Again, you are in this for the right reasons...yourself. You just have to remember that everyday. Plus some people may just be saying it to thwart your efforts toward you goal. I have had that happen to. This is why I keep MFP separate from fb. Everyone on here is working towards the same goal. They may not be where you are and that is why they would be happy with the body you have....but ultimately if you are not happy then only YOU know what you need to do to get there.

    Good Luck with your efforts and goals! GET HAPPY!!!!
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    stop telling people. its none of their business.
  • KiltFuPanda
    KiltFuPanda Posts: 574 Member
    I get a different form of this all the time: "You don't need to lose weight - you're all muscle, not fat."

    I just think to myself, "If you think I'm good enough now - wait until I've reached MY goal. Then look again."
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
    I am just starting to get this...and it's usually from my super fit, thin friends...I have NEVER been thin, and at least 20 pounds away from being my target weight...I think people have good intentions in general..but having never seen us thinner...they have a hard time dealing with the changes.

    I think you look AMAZING now...but if you want to lose more, go for it!
  • DivaJadelyn
    DivaJadelyn Posts: 280 Member
    Quote from a Coworker (granted this is a cultural difference but I still found it rude) "Your weight suits you. You don't need to lose weight" I even tried explaining it's not just about looks but about health for my future with my kids but he just refused to listen to me.
  • RachelVon
    RachelVon Posts: 66 Member
    I just started to get this, only from one person so far, but she was like "how much more weight are you trying to loose" in a tone that made me think...oh crap, I hope this stuff isnt going to start coming from everyone! I just barely got into the healthy bmi range but the healthy weight range for me is between 118-159.6 & I would personally like to be towards the lighter side of it, not to mention I'm still a good 30 lbs heavier than I was in high school

    So don't listen to people who say that, it usually stems from Jealousy because you are doing such a great job!!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    You are young....i wish i would have come to some realization sooner.
    Good for you. Do for your health and be true to yourself.
    Wish the best!!!
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    stop telling people. its none of their business.

    QFT. In my experience, people don't respond well when others decide to change their lives and get healthier, because it makes them reflect back on their own life choices. Think of their responses as them actually talking to themselves. 'You don't need to lose weight" means "I don't want to work at diet and exercise right now"
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
    people that say it to me are...

    1. fat
    2. lazy
    3. want me to go out with them that day/night

    I generally just say.. umm, but I do. Thanks.

    Hezz
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    stop telling people. its none of their business.

    It may not be their business. But as friends and family I want their support. Most of this is from the family, and they are bigger. My main problem is that they say that stuff, and I keep getting offered junk food, and I keep saying no and they keep going "But I don't want it" I explain to them that I'm on a diet so I don't want that food. that's usually when I get the Oh you don't need to lose weight crap. It helps to make them aware of the weight loss as it HAS helped the offers of junk food. Just not the other stuff
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I understand. In my culture/background/family it is not cute to be skinny or as thin as I am aiming to be. Women in my family have hips butt thighs and boobs for days...so for me to want to erase all of that from my body is absurd to my family and some of my friends.

    Again, you are in this for the right reasons...yourself. You just have to remember that everyday. Plus some people may just be saying it to thwart your efforts toward you goal. I have had that happen to. This is why I keep MFP separate from fb. Everyone on here is working towards the same goal. They may not be where you are and that is why they would be happy with the body you have....but ultimately if you are not happy then only YOU know what you need to do to get there.

    Good Luck with your efforts and goals! GET HAPPY!!!!

    Actually most of the people who do say this are bigger than I am and are jealous that I'm not obese, and they are. But I've heard of some cultural backgrounds where men like their women huge. I don't get it, and I think it's super unhealthy to be like that, but I understand that it's a cultural thing. I would assume that it would be tough if your in a cultural that is somewhat like that. Good luck to you and thanks for the support!
  • Lisseth03
    Lisseth03 Posts: 518 Member
    yep, been there. in the end it isn't about whether you NEED to or not, it's about being active and living a healthy life. I guess people just don't understand that really. idk?
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I get a different form of this all the time: "You don't need to lose weight - you're all muscle, not fat."

    I just think to myself, "If you think I'm good enough now - wait until I've reached MY goal. Then look again."

    I love the way you think! :)
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I am just starting to get this...and it's usually from my super fit, thin friends...I have NEVER been thin, and at least 20 pounds away from being my target weight...I think people have good intentions in general..but having never seen us thinner...they have a hard time dealing with the changes.

    I think you look AMAZING now...but if you want to lose more, go for it!

    Yeah, I do look pretty good for my weight. But my biggest issue is that I like a lot of the tighter clothing, and I can see the fat sticking out plainly, and it bothers me. In my profile pic It doesn't show as much fat as the dress actually does show because I have a what do you call them.. Thing that smooths out the fat and makes you look thinner on. Thanks though, I appreciate it ^^
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
    I used to hear that all the time! And here I am two years later and 24lbs lighter, and no one has told me I'm too skinny after losing that much! :tongue: My answer was always that I just wear it well - which was fairly accurate I guess - most of my fat is on my midsection, easy to hide under my clothes as long as I was covered from the knees up! Haha! All my shorts were longer, just above the knee at the shortest. No dresses, and I was beginning to shy away from tank tops.

    Just ignore those who say that. If anyone says anything to me now (which is rare since I've been at it for a couple of years now, so they're used to it), I make sure they understand that this is no diet - this is my healthier lifestyle, choosing to be fit and healthy, and I say I'm trying to lose the fat rather than the weight - seems to go over better somehow.

    Of course there's always the shock value method, and it crossed my mind once or twice when someone asked where I needed to lose weight - "want me to strip down and show ya?" :laugh:
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    I just started to get this, only from one person so far, but she was like "how much more weight are you trying to loose" in a tone that made me think...oh crap, I hope this stuff isnt going to start coming from everyone! I just barely got into the healthy bmi range but the healthy weight range for me is between 118-159.6 & I would personally like to be towards the lighter side of it, not to mention I'm still a good 30 lbs heavier than I was in high school

    So don't listen to people who say that, it usually stems from Jealousy because you are doing such a great job!!

    Yeah, I get that too! My healthy weight is 112-149lbs would be anywhere in the normal. However, I feel that if I drop below 120 which I've decided to use as my overall goal weight, it would be unhealthy. But I may end up stick around 135lbs because I like to have a little bit of fat left around my tummy.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    yep, been there. in the end it isn't about whether you NEED to or not, it's about being active and living a healthy life. I guess people just don't understand that really. idk?

    I really don't think they do. I've looked around the area I live in, and I swear finding someone who is not overweight is like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm not joking. I just think it's crazy, and it does help to motivate myself to go further.
  • delonda1
    delonda1 Posts: 525 Member
    I get told everyday that I am going overboard or need to stop. And well usually i am like whatever but it does bother me especially when people try to swear to me I dont eat. I EAT ALL THE TIME. I loss weight because I made healthier eating choices and my workout schedule is different.

    Have to remember most people in the US and well the world are overweight so the ideal of healthy and skinny are twisted. Take it with a grain of salt and when you are comfortable in your own skin it will be fine
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    stop telling people. its none of their business.

    It may not be their business. But as friends and family I want their support. Most of this is from the family, and they are bigger. My main problem is that they say that stuff, and I keep getting offered junk food, and I keep saying no and they keep going "But I don't want it" I explain to them that I'm on a diet so I don't want that food. that's usually when I get the Oh you don't need to lose weight crap. It helps to make them aware of the weight loss as it HAS helped the offers of junk food. Just not the other stuff

    you can't change people. you can't make them give you support. just say no and be happy you are making the right choice.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    people that say it to me are...

    1. fat
    2. lazy
    3. want me to go out with them that day/night

    I generally just say.. umm, but I do. Thanks.

    Hezz

    Haha yeah, I can see that! I think that is what happens with the people i know too.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    My roommate started doing that to me after I had lost 25 pounds... it was crazy because for the first 25 pounds she said she could never tell the difference, and it wasn't worth all the work. Then it really started showing after 30 pounds, and she kept saying that she supported me, but I looked great. She is about 50 pounds heavier than me. However, I handled her differently. I invited her to join me. She was very resistant at first, but I told her about how easy it could be, and started teaching her how to play tennis. In the first month she lost 10 pounds, and now she is almost 20 pounds down and is just as excited to be losing as I am. Sometimes the best defense is a good (positive) offense!
  • YungBuck
    YungBuck Posts: 50
    I hate this too! It's from all the people who feel threatened by your success with weight loss. Whether it be because they are jealous, don't like change, don't culturally understand, or your loss makes them realize their bad habits, whatever the reason. When it happens to me I just smile and say thank you, silently getting a little more excited that I'm getting closer to my goal.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    yes im getting this. some of my friends on here even! its hard because they cant see the fat rolls or the cellulite on my thighs and bum. it has to come off, which means weightloss! And im still overweight on the chart right now. I know what my body feels like at a certain weight so im just trying to get back there. im just trying to feel good in my clothes. i have ones that i used to fit into, theres no reason why i cant fit back into them for sure! do what you need to do. unless you are having problems not eating I say go for it!
  • spicypepper
    spicypepper Posts: 1,016 Member
    My come back has always been to thank them and to let them know that I'm toning up. That way the weight loss isn't as much of an issue.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
    Just lift your shirt up and show them your belly. Should set them straight.
  • heathercicle
    heathercicle Posts: 91 Member
    I guess I'm lucky. The only times I've heard it are from people who are just trying to make me feel better about myself. I have a good friend (who happens to look like a twig, lol) who constantly tells me I'm not fat. I tell her, "Trust me. I hide it well." haha Her and I have talked about it before and I think she sees me differently because 1. I have a skinny face/neck and this is generally where she looks at me, 2. I'm proportionate. I have a pear shape so I carry my weight in a nice way but I'm still fat. My @$$ goes on for days. LOL I'm in the "morbidly obese" range and I have another 50ish pounds to lose to reach my goal. That's a small child hiding in my clothes (and I don't even have children!)...

    This is slightly off topic but I do know a few people who try to guilt me into eating poorly but are not my friends. They usually tell me "it's ok to eat sweets every once in a while" and instead of explaining my situation, I usually say thanks but I'm not in the mood for it (which is a LIE). Sometimes, people ask if I'm dieting if I turn down certain foods. I usually say, "I'm not on a diet. I'm eating healthy." No mention of my weight loss goals tends to make it easier for me, I think.
  • Dollface_Mama
    Dollface_Mama Posts: 20
    I just think to myself, "If you think I'm good enough now - wait until I've reached MY goal. Then look again."

    Amen! When I started this journey I was 158.9 and I'm at 138.6 now and when I tell people that I'm trying to get to at least 130 they think I am insane, but for me its all about being more comfortable in my own skin. I don't like the way I look, I'm starting to finally but I want to be able to love myself fully!
  • subcult
    subcult Posts: 262 Member
    Just lift your shirt up and show them your belly. Should set them straight.
    loo done that myself I even let them jiggle it:) to get dead Center of my ideal Bimini would put me back to my 7th grade weight I'm not sure if ill take it that far but ill wait and see.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    I keep getting told by almost everyone I know things like: You don't need to lose weight, your fine. Lose weight? where? There's no way you need to lose that much weight. You look fine as you are. Your skinny, what are you talking about?

    Anyone else have these issues? It's not that they are REALLY meaning to make me feel bad, but It's frustrating having people think I'm an idiot for trying to lose weight.

    I also have a lot of bigger family members that keep telling me I'm super skinny as it is, which isn't true at all.

    Just wondering how everyone else is handling these kinds of situations. I'm losing the weight for myself, and I know I won't be happy until I get down to my goal weight, so I really don't care that they think that stuff. But it does get kind of motivational when I hear these things.

    __________________________________________________________

    In my view, your reply should be: "I'm not trying to lose weight. My goal is to lose fat."
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    People have told me to stop losing weight, that i am too skinny. I am aiming for aroud the middle of healthy weight for my height. I am happy as a size 6, i'm not aiming to be a size 0 or 2.

    I will stop trying to lose when i am happy, and i will never stop improving on myself.

Categories