"you don't need to lose weight"

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  • midge69
    midge69 Posts: 22
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    I get told the same thing.. I am 4'11 I weigh 187, wear a size 18/20 in womens and everybody says well you don't look it. You don't need to lose weight and my husband says if you think you are fat go look at so and so they make two of you I find that cruel. It is unhealthy to be over weight. It takes you energy for one when you pack the extra.. Not to mention there is so many diseases in my family I worry about it
  • daddymoofle
    daddymoofle Posts: 12 Member
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    KaidaKantri: I keep getting told by almost everyone I know things like: You don't need to lose weight, your fine. Lose weight? where? There's no way you need to lose that much weight. You look fine as you are. Your skinny, what are you talking about?

    If it's any consolation, I think you look damn good now, and don't need to lose anything; but, I understand that some people may have goals that I might not understand - totally respect that - and wish you nothing but the best of luck in your trek! Worst case scenerio: the people here can be your support group, because most of us are nice and we all want to ultimately achieve the same thing. :)
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, you definitely need to lose weight...

    But sorry I have to say this: you don't really need to lose a lot. You actually look pretty good already...

    --P
  • StaceyZombie
    StaceyZombie Posts: 69 Member
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    Ugh!!!!! This drives me crazy. After recently having twins, I am working on getting back to my smallest, upon telling people that I get the response "you were too skinny". Ummmm NO. And I get the "you look great already" BLAH BLAH BLAH.

    Not to mention, I had a work meeting which included dinner with the region at PF Chang's....I declined the greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers....I declined the plethora of mini cakes for dessert....I ate lettuce wraps and drank unsweetened tea. At lunch the next day, I declined potato chips...to which I get the comment that it's great I have so much dedication to losing weight, but I'm borderline "neurotic" about it (says my territorial vice president)...WTF.

    Shut up and let me be healthy.

    I feel better. /end rant
  • daddymoofle
    daddymoofle Posts: 12 Member
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    midge69: I get told the same thing.. I am 4'11 I weigh 187, wear a size 18/20 in womens and everybody says well you don't look it. You don't need to lose weight and my husband says if you think you are fat go look at so and so they make two of you I find that cruel. It is unhealthy to be over weight. It takes you energy for one when you pack the extra.. Not to mention there is so many diseases in my family I worry about it

    Well, your husband doesn't count - if he's so much as half a man, he loves you for who you are, not what you "could" be. Also, what the hell man in his right mind tells a woman she's "fat" anyway? No no no. *laugh

    If you have the goal, do it for you - and F everyone else who says different. As long as it's a healthy goal, there's nothing wrong with working to better yourself!
  • MSimm62385
    MSimm62385 Posts: 227
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    I HATE when people tell me this, especially when the critic is in equally bad or worse shape. My own father tells me I'll be way too skinny if I reach my goal of no longer being classified as "overweight" by my BMI. When people I'm closer with tell me this, I'll usually lift up my shirt and grab that handful of flab at my belly as proof that I could stand to lose more.
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    stop telling people. its none of their business.

    It may not be their business. But as friends and family I want their support. Most of this is from the family, and they are bigger. My main problem is that they say that stuff, and I keep getting offered junk food, and I keep saying no and they keep going "But I don't want it" I explain to them that I'm on a diet so I don't want that food. that's usually when I get the Oh you don't need to lose weight crap. It helps to make them aware of the weight loss as it HAS helped the offers of junk food. Just not the other stuff

    You might not get their support but you can train them to stop offering you junk food. Just keep saying, "No thank you." You don't have to explain that you're on a diet...or that you're eating better, or anything. (My friend's father has a saying, "Don't complain, don't explain.")
  • brittany17love
    brittany17love Posts: 66 Member
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    Yea my mom and everyone says that. But if I am not happy with my body I am going to fix it. It's all about how you percieve yourself. If I don't like the way I look I am going to change that regardless of what people say. I have also heard that I am fat from people as well. I have heard it all.
  • daddymoofle
    daddymoofle Posts: 12 Member
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    StaceyZombie: Not to mention, I had a work meeting which included dinner with the region at PF Chang's....I declined the greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers....I declined the plethora of mini cakes for dessert....I ate lettuce wraps and drank unsweetened tea. At lunch the next day, I declined potato chips...to which I get the comment that it's great I have so much dedication to losing weight, but I'm borderline "neurotic" about it (says my territorial vice president)...WTF.

    People don't like it when you judge them indirectly. Saying things like "greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers" means that your TVP and anyone else who may have heard you is suddenly a glutton and you're better than them. I'd take offense, just sayin'. From what it seems, you probably also said something to the effect of the above about the potato chips too - and yes, getting called "neurotic" about your weight loss goal was the normal response.

    Just saying "I'm trying to eat healthier to better myself" or hell, lying and saying "I'm not really in the mood for chips" is better when in a social situation with people not doing the same thing as you. :/
  • clairabell2024
    clairabell2024 Posts: 194 Member
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    I've had this too, but now i have lost some weight i got the other day. ''why did you wa nt to lose all that weight?'

    Grrrr!!! What do you mean WHY??? Because i wanted to? Because i felt ****ty about myself? Because my close didnt fit? Because i wanted to feel good about myself? EFF OFF thats why lol

    My friend said this girl saiod it out of jealously, but just keep stum in future!

    xx
  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 623 Member
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    I just started to get this, only from one person so far, but she was like "how much more weight are you trying to loose" in a tone that made me think...oh crap, I hope this stuff isnt going to start coming from everyone! I just barely got into the healthy bmi range but the healthy weight range for me is between 118-159.6 & I would personally like to be towards the lighter side of it, not to mention I'm still a good 30 lbs heavier than I was in high school

    So don't listen to people who say that, it usually stems from Jealousy because you are doing such a great job!!

    I also think this comes from people are so used to seeing you heavier so as you lose weight it can become a shock to them to see you in a smaller version of yourself.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
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    I get it too. Nobody "apparently" wants to believe me that I gained 40lb when I was injured and tells me I don't need to lose that much...

    Well.... partly people are just trying to be kind, so when I went back to the gym and chatted to some old faces, when they say "where have you been" I explain and I am quite open about the fact that I gained 40lb... so they say "nooooo. never... where??" etc... but what are they supposed to say? LOL it's not acceptable in polite society to turn about and be honest and say "yeah I can see that, good luck to you!". :laugh:

    But there are other folk in the office who are much larger than me and who have noticed that I have made a lot of changes, no longer use the canteen but bring in my own food etc... and they can get quite funny when I say I want to lose 40lb... because effectively it unintentionally puts a mirror up to them which says to them "and you should be loosing at least 80!"

    Yeah, I've always been the type of person who doesn't want the whole crap about society just being polite and lying to you. If I'm overweight and don't realize it, I'd rather be told point blank. I think it's ridiculous that we have be careful about what we say and the way we say things around everyone these days. I think everyone in general tells people who are overweight that they don't need to lose weight because they feel like it would be rude to say otherwise. because in today's world, it would be. And I'm sick of that. >< I saw something posted on facebook the other day that said " I'm not fat, god loved me so much that he decided to supersize me" And it made me so angry. It also made me realize that most people want to make excuses so that they don't see the reality. I reposted it saying "This is why most humans are fat. They don't want to look at reality"
  • daddymoofle
    daddymoofle Posts: 12 Member
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    Brittany17lov: Yea my mom and everyone says that. But if I am not happy with my body I am going to fix it. It's all about how you percieve yourself. If I don't like the way I look I am going to change that regardless of what people say. I have also heard that I am fat from people as well. I have heard it all.

    Some people take it WAY too far. Being healthy and being anorexic, from what I've seen on this board, are damn near impossible to distinguish. BMI is somewhat a load of bull****. My wife is 5'7' and her "goal" weight by BMI standards is like 130 or some crazy number... seeing your heart beat is not healthy, it's concentration camp.

    There's a fine line.
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
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    I am getting "STOP running" ~ "You're perfect" ~ "Don't lose anymore" ~ "You're not going to lose anymore weight are you?" etc. etc. - and all this from people who used to enjoy telling me how FAT I was... can't win!
  • spartangirl79
    spartangirl79 Posts: 277 Member
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    Strangely it's my naturally thin and or very fit friends who tell me this. I clearly have 50-75lbs on some of them and my fitness performance level is nowhere near theirs. Yet it's always "you look great the way you are!" Um, clearly I want to look and feel better. And they are SO unconvincing in their arguments -- it's clear that they don't mean it.

    It's bizarre.
  • StaceyZombie
    StaceyZombie Posts: 69 Member
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    StaceyZombie: Not to mention, I had a work meeting which included dinner with the region at PF Chang's....I declined the greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers....I declined the plethora of mini cakes for dessert....I ate lettuce wraps and drank unsweetened tea. At lunch the next day, I declined potato chips...to which I get the comment that it's great I have so much dedication to losing weight, but I'm borderline "neurotic" about it (says my territorial vice president)...WTF.

    People don't like it when you judge them indirectly. Saying things like "greasy, calorie/fat filled appetizers" means that your TVP and anyone else who may have heard you is suddenly a glutton and you're better than them. I'd take offense, just sayin'. From what it seems, you probably also said something to the effect of the above about the potato chips too - and yes, getting called "neurotic" about your weight loss goal was the normal response.

    Just saying "I'm trying to eat healthier to better myself" or hell, lying and saying "I'm not really in the mood for chips" is better when in a social situation with people not doing the same thing as you. :/

    That's the thing!!!!! I DIDN'T say anything, I just said "no thank you"!!! I attempt to keep my calorie counting to myself where ever possible to avoid discussing my personal health choices, it's only when people probe or question me that I divulge the ever-boring details.
  • KC4800
    KC4800 Posts: 140 Member
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    I actually had my MIL tell me to my face that I was told old to care about how I looked and why the heck was I bothering to get into better shape??

    Just plug your ears and keep on, keeping on.

    Aw man, that was really ignorant. I cringed. That was really....grrr....bording on hateful. I am sorry your MIL is such a doofus.

    I have received a lot of positive suport from most of my family.
    My brother asks me frequently how much weight I have lost.
    Sometimes he'll ask if I am done yet? I chalk it up to he doesn't want me to be the families first anorexic male.
    I reassure him that according to my height, I am still in the overweight category by about 5 lbs.
  • DirtyOldLady
    DirtyOldLady Posts: 50
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    I would just take the comment at face-value, as an attempt to be kind or even complimentary, and move on. Odds are pretty good that your friends and family don't really wish for you to be unhealthy or unhappy, even if they're not supportive in the way you want them to be. You have your own goals and your own reasons for working toward them, and that is ultimately the only thing that matters.
  • rachael52
    rachael52 Posts: 86 Member
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    You are the one who knows your body and knows what will make you feel good. You can get a lot of support from this message board. Hang in there. And maybe find an offhand answer for people who tell you you don't need to lose (more) weight. Something like, "Oh well, just working on getting healthy," and then walk off, avoid a big debate. Good luck.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    people that say it to me are...

    1. fat
    2. lazy
    3. want me to go out with them that day/night

    I generally just say.. umm, but I do. Thanks.

    Hezz

    This. I notice it's always people who are either overweight or looking for someone to drink/eat with that say this to me. It drives me crazy.

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