Why cant I just do this (VENT)
miller0438
Posts: 72 Member
Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there
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Replies
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Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:
You have to want it.
Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.
Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.
Once it clicks, there's no going back.
My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.0 -
2 things:
Most of use felt exactly the same as you.
And yes you can do this.
My recommendation, stop thinking about the end. Think about today. And the more "todays" you think about, they add up to your goal.
Just remember this too, you may leave one day behind, and think you will get it next time. Then there is that temptation for another day to go by, and then another...and then you get to the point you are at in your post. A lot of us were there. I was.
My recommendation - start with smaller goals. I see the 76 lbs which is great! But its a big goal. How about giving up soda permanently, or 10 lbs by Labor Day. Something manageable.0 -
I don't have advice, in fact, I'm looking for some myself right now, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am having a lot of trouble right now, too. I cannot break this habit of stuffing my face with carbs and bad crap everyday. I'm going through some health problems which just makes things depressing which just leads to this emotional eating BS. I agree with above poster, that we have to want it, and I DO want it but I cannot get my head on straight enough to DO something about it. I feel your pain, sister!0
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I think the suggestions both of you made are great. I think I needed to hear some of those things as well. Baby steps. I can do that. So can you miller! We can do this. No fast food is my first goal. None. Just done with it. Well, maybe a chick fil a chargrilled chicken and fruit salad. Does that count as bad?0
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Thanks for the comments/suggestions. I think I do have to really take a good look at why I fail and to really be ready for change.0
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Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:
You have to want it.
Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.
Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.
Once it clicks, there's no going back.
My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.
^^^ !!! So True !!!
I kept making excuses. Had a hint of what it would be like to to have diabetes when I was pregnant with my youngest being told I had to be very careful and having to track everything I ate and had a point system I had to follow with my food intake. It sucked! I was a woman who could chow down a whole pizza, a whole tub of snickers ice cream, I put 8+ TBS of sugar in my coffee and tea, I didn't drink an ounce of water, and the list goes on. No, I wasn't extremely over weight, but with my confidence level I might as well have been and I did nothing about it. It took my seeing a friend who introduced me to mfp, and her progress, to really grasp what I could do to really change my life. I started slow, but I surprised myself with how quickly I jumped in my progression. I don't remember the last time I drank pop, I can eat a few pieces of pizza or whatever it may be and be content with stopping. I DON'T use ANY sugar in my coffee or tea, I eat healthier small meals for the most part, I'm losing weight, getting stronger, and feeling great! My confidence goes up every day.
You will go through hard times, you will go over in calories, it will be slower than you would like, but you have to just start doing. If you don't start making changes and taking control you will be in the same boat you are now in a few months wishing you would've started.0 -
Start with one new habit and that's it...change is hard and if we pile too much change it just causes an enormous amount of stress.
One step at a time for 21 days...you can totally do that. Maybe you want to quit a soda drinking habit ( just an example) replace the pop for flavored carbonated water with no additives. That way, you still get the bubble feelings with out the extra chemicals. Stick to that for three weeks and then add another change.
Yes this is a slow way and you won't see results super quickly. But you will feel changes and a lot of little successes really do add up!! Good luck
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I think the suggestions both of you made are great. I think I needed to hear some of those things as well. Baby steps. I can do that. So can you miller! We can do this. No fast food is my first goal. None. Just done with it. Well, maybe a chick fil a chargrilled chicken and fruit salad. Does that count as bad?
Baby steps are good! I really need to just stop trying to change it all at once. I hear over and over only make changes that your willing to stick with forever, maybe its time to put that into practice. Im gonna friend you so maybe we can help each other stick to it 0 -
I think my biggest problem with staying motivated is that I find myself saying "Oh, look! Cheesecake! I can always start tomorrow" and tomorrow, of course, never comes. I lack the sense of urgency which goes along with what some people have already said.
I want to want it! I want to want to be urgent!0 -
Yup, it's not easy. So many of us have lost weight, put it back on.... over and over.
For me, the difference has been accepting that I can't see "dieting" as a short term solution, I have to make changes that I'm going to stick to for the rest of my life.
That means making small changes, reducing my calorie intake, but not dramatically. Exercising, but not excessively.
I think it's human nature to get really enthusiastic about the latest thing - diet, music, hobby, food, anything - but once the initial excitement wears off, it's hard to maintain that enthusiasm.
I have a great book called "Changing Habits, Changing Lives" by Cyndy O'Meara (I think I have her name right).
I don't agree with everything she says, but I do like the underlying premise - which is that if you change one habit a week then those small changes will eventually add up to a much healthier lifestyle and a healthier you.
Good luck in finding the way of life that works for you long term -it's not easy, I know!0 -
My baby step was to do at least 30 minutes of some sort of moving my body every day. EVERY day. Whether that meant going for a walk or putting on loud music and dancing around my living room or vacuuming the house from top to bottom -- no matter. I've held to it (except for seven consecutive days when I had the killer cold from hell) and it's been good for me. It's my thing and became my springboard.
You need to find your thing.
You'll get there.0 -
I think the suggestions both of you made are great. I think I needed to hear some of those things as well. Baby steps. I can do that. So can you miller! We can do this. No fast food is my first goal. None. Just done with it. Well, maybe a chick fil a chargrilled chicken and fruit salad. Does that count as bad?
Baby steps are good! I really need to just stop trying to change it all at once. I hear over and over only make changes that your willing to stick with forever, maybe its time to put that into practice. Im gonna friend you so maybe we can help each other stick to it
Sweet! I need a supporter friend. We should make some sort of calendar that we both adhere to and make those baby steps like everyone is suggesting. We should check in with each other like once a week (or more/less-whatever is good for you) and just hold each other accountable for our actions. It is a lot easier to make a change when you have someone other than yourself to rely on.0 -
Both times that I have ventured to lose weight and ACTUALLY stuck with it for more then a week, something had just "clicked" in my brain that made me really really want it. There is a huge mental aspect to losing weight. You can't force it, but you can motivate yourself in other ways. Try to read something about weight loss/fitness/success stories everyday to motivate you. You could also try writing down your goals and hanging them somewhere that you will see everyday (like on your mirror or fridge). Stay focused on the journey, and don't worry about days where you slip up. Weight maintenance should last a lifetime, so don't let one day or even one week of "falling off the wagon" mess up your entire mindset.0
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I agree with taking baby steps. I'm also wondering if a little therapy might be helpful? It helped me!
I recommend reading Do the Work by Steven Pressfield. It's about setting and working toward goals; not specfic to weight loss, but it certainly applies. Its an easy read and a free download on Amazon.0 -
You have to want it!! A few years ago I did it because every told me I needed to, I lost 20 lbs then gained it all back, this time I realized I wanted to do it not for everyone else, but for myself. Take small steps to do it, start by throwing out anything bad that's in your house, even if it's snacks for your girls, throw out the bad ones and get good ones. Instead of munching on sweets, or whatever, try carrot sticks or something healthy, even sweet stuff has a healthier alternative.0
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Oh my goodness!! Thank You for postings this. I was just thinking the exact same thing today. I feel exactly the same as you do and currently weigh the same. I feel horrible that my son is gunna grow up with these habits if I dont change things and I really miss feeling sexy for my fiance. I have been having a terrible time losing the 70 pounds of baby weight that I put on (my son is 6 months and I haven't lost a pound). Its been awful. I just don't understand why I cant find the will power to stop eating crap. I have lost weight before and never had a hard time committing to working out or eating better. However when I was pregnant I totally blew out every good eating habit I ever made.0
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Now that summer is here and the kids are out of school i am having a hell of a time with this as well. i stay home i eat i feel like a failure most days if i go over calories or i find some excuse like omg i am pmsing and i needed that stupid chocolate bar or that cookie. I have a sweet tooth and just cant get past it. I am also finding that i am not drinking enough water in a day so instead of grabbing a bottle of the wet stuff i grab an apple or a handful of strawberries or something to stuff in my mouth. I feel like i need to be reminded every hour to drink water so i set up an alarm on my phone but that seemed to only work for a few weeks. I have been going to the gym but i look at calorie burn and think i shoulda done better but i did what i could when the kids are swimming in the pool by themselves cause they are not old enough to stay home and too young to work out with me.
so heres to new beginnings and leaving the past where it needs to be... in the past.
im gonna wake up tomorrow morning with a smile on my face and tell myself i an worth it. if i dont believe that i am then it will be a struggle in itself to over come and i know i am worth it.
motivation comes from with in. You have to want it and constantly be reminded of why you want it. I want it becasue i want to be healthy i have my life back (i have crohns and have been in and out of hospitals so much then had surgery and it seemed to have helped but for how long i dont know). I think i need to be reminded of how bad i felt
live in the now.. cause we never know how long we will have... take one day at a time and dont beat yourself up if you fall off just dont give up for the whole day. easier said then done i know cause i am having the same issues too. remind yourself why you are doing this and change 1 thing each week. thats a start in the right direction..
Good luck and thank you for letting me know i am not the only one who is feeling this way.
Leanne:embarassed:0 -
WOW all of these responses are wonderful!
I agree with the each and every one of them.
YOU DO HAVE TO WANT THIS
it's very tough to do it - believe me read my profile I'm an expert at losing and gaining.
it does get easier though I promise!
I'm gonna send you a friend request and maybbe you can go thru some of my friends for some motivation and inspiration. They have all inspired me and make me want to do this.....again!!
Good luck
LET'S GET THIS S**T DONE....again
Heather0 -
I have been at this for 3 weeks now and having lost 7 lbs, I only have 93 more to go. At the moment, my mind is set to reach this goal and have given myself 11 months to get to it. The most difficult part of it are the on-going temptations: you see, there are 3 persons in my house and I'm the only one trying to lose weight. So while others eat "normally", I restrain myself and at times it most certainly is not easy. The temptations I have resisted so far are huge, or huge at least to me: hmmm this slice of pizza looks good, hmmm this cupcake seems delish, wow this brownie is calling to me, hmmm a scoop of ice cream would taste so-o-o-o good right now....I figured out that if I eat just one Yoplait yogurt for example, I have to walk about 1.5 miles at a brisk pace, say 3.4 mph, to offset the calorie gain. A slice of pizza is twice that. Eat 10 unsalted almonds and that'll set you back some 150 to 170 calories, though almonds are supposedly a food that helps you combat fat. It really doesn't take very much to set you off your daily goal. So far I have not flinched and have not succumbed. There is actually nothing wrong with eating a yogurt or almonds, its the quantity I need to be careful about. I want to lose weight. Period. As of 3 weeks ago, I was 100lbs overweight, and I got to that over many years of sloughing it off. It's not easy to lose in one year what may have taken me 15+ years to pile on my bones. God help me, I'll stick to my plan of reducing my food intake and exercising. Once thing I am starting to notice, is that it doesn't take me as much to feel full now and I take that as a good sign. --- I sincerely wish you luck and success. As someone else said in the responses to your post, "you have to want it". As of this moment I want it.0
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Baby steps, I felt the same way! I was never able to stick to any diet or exercise. I lacked motivation. I was 225 just 6 months ago. I started small, I swapped my bag of sugar for a bag of Stevia in the Raw. I use it in everything, that requires sugar now. I swapped my extra butter popcorn for simply salted. I stopped buying junk food, reg potato chips are now rice cakes or veggie chips. I swapped soda for crystal light, I started eating veggies and fruit.(meat and potato girl, born and raised) I began eating breakfast. I began walking the moment I got off walk, then going home and eat/relax. I knew if I went home, I wasn't going to follow though with exercise. I have gone from a size 20 to a size 14 and lost 28 pounds, in just 6 months. It sure feels great, I just started running too, believe me I have avoided running my whole life! So yea just change one thing a week and find something to motivate you. My motivation is my dad almost dieing last year, heart attack, had to have quadruple bypass. It was very scary for me, seeing him in the hospital, all the pain he was in and all the therapy he went though. Also learning about all the other family health issues. I don't want to be the next one with diabetes, heart issues, blood pressure, thyroid, etc. I refuse to relapse, when I plateau or gain back a few pounds, I step up my game a notch. You can do it girl!!!0
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Start by logging everything. This will help you see where those calories are going.
If you are anything like me and hungry all the time, more small meals a day helps, I've been known to order something and eat half and save half, that way you get some and 3 hours later, Hey! More food!
Drink alot of water, it helps with hunger.
Just do it every day and, I know this is hard, be patient!!0 -
Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:
You have to want it.
Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.
Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.
Once it clicks, there's no going back.
My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.
This is exactly how I got started about 20 years ago. And if that girl could have seen ahead to this girl, she would not believed it. My first goal: Eat one piece of fruit or veggies a DAY.
My second goal: Walk around the block once a day.
My entire journey, I've given myself to take it at a slow pace if that's what I need and to take breaks, but never give up. And, when I have the willpower and energy to do something impressive, don't second guess myself.
You can absolutely do this!0 -
I wasn't motivated til my husband left me... for other reasons (some mutual)... I wish I had been motivated for my health (and many other things) long before. But it is what is.
I read somewhere, "Do something today your future self will thank you for". Think about yourself in 6 months, a year. Where do you want be, how do you want to feel and what do you want to accomplish. And if you don't pursue your goals, imagine that in a year. That sort of visualization does help me to get going since time just keeps passing by.0 -
Ok so I have dieted myself all the way up to 240lbs. Ughh I try almost everyday to stick to any diet plan and I fail every single day. Ive tried it all. I fail if its too restricting and I fail if nots outlined and planned for me like counting calories because I just eat junk food and sugar and go over my calories. I have two daughters who I DO NOT want to inherit my weight problem and I feel so gross and fat that it affects my marriage in a very negative way. I want to change my life but I just dont know what its gonna take for me to do so..... I cant believe im putting all this out there
First off you have to quit looking at it as a diet. Look at it as a total lifestyle change. Secondly never give up!0 -
I so agree with wanting this will make you push on! Girl....I also have 2 girls who I DO NOT want to be self conscious about their weight like I have ALWAYS been. I got up to 265lbs with my last pregnancy and she is now 18 months and I have been on here since she was 3 months....lost 58lbs.....slowly very slowly. But I refuse to fail. I am gonna get to goal if it takes another 18 months! I suffer with food choices....I got the exercise thing perfectly...I work out 5-6 days per week BUT I love food and this is so hard for me! How one can only eat 1200 calories per day is beyond me! With MFP....meeting some awesome people who struggle with the same stuff you struggle with you WILL be motivated. When I look at others busting butts and eating clean this makes me re-evaluate what I do. You can do this if you REALLY want it! You have to have the willpower to want this change! I am here for you if you need support and motivation!0
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IT also really helps to have supportive friends who are likeminded in their goals and take it seriously. I don't know many people outside MFP that are really into being healthy (My stepsister Heather, and my Sister Sandy... my sister Erin also). Everyone else is kinda like... "fat is sexy!".. lol. I don't want to live like that.
I'm just saying that you can find a lot of support and friends here. :flowerforyou:0 -
Instead of some lame patronizing comment (there will be many to come), all I can really say is this:
You have to want it.
Yes, everyone WANTS to have a model or a gymnast's body. Or a bodybuilder's body or whatever. But 99% of people just don't have the dedication and willpower to put in the hard work.
Until you're really ready it's going be next to impossible. It's like quitting smoking or drugs. You have to really want it or you're just going to keep relapsing.
Once it clicks, there's no going back.
My only real suggestion is to try baby steps. Don't try to uproot your whole way of eating or exercising. Do one thing. Cut out sugary drinks and/or soda. Just try that. In a month, try walking for 15 minutes a day, every day. Everyone's got 15 minutes right? Keep progressing and slowly substitute crappy snacks for better snacks, crappy meals for better meals, and sitting on the couch for meaningful exercise. I'm 14-15 months in and I'm still making improvements to my diet and exercise every week. Baby steps. No one just changes their entire way of life in a day.
Great advice!!!0 -
Oh my goodness! I completely understand where you all are coming from. I've been wanting to loose weight and change my habits for about a year now, but it's only been the last month where I've really wanted to try. Motivation is my main problem. I'll get myself all worked up and ready one day, and it's like I've spent all my motivation in one fell swoop. I just can't seem to stick with anything. It's frustrating to say the least and it makes me feel like I'm in a downward spiral everyday when I know I failed to do what I said I would do.
It's comforting to see though that I'm not alone. I'll keep trying. Just need to reduce the giant leaps to baby steps. Maybe that might help. Thank you so much for posting this! And thank you everyone for the great comments! 0 -
Thank you for posting this. Like many of us, I have gone up and down in weight. The difference is that I don't have children, which sometimes makes me feel worse because I don't have baby weight....just lazy weight.
It is one day at a time and the desire to want to change. Seeing the good in the small challenges and really defining why I want to do this. There are so many of us out there coping with the same issues...and for that I am thankful.
The only one holding us back is ourselves.0 -
I think the main problem is how to get yourself to want to do it. My self esteem was shot and I hated myself every day.... I couldn't get motivated and just kept feeling worse for every day I couldn't get myself to start so I was willing to try anything... So I got these 'hypnotism for weight loss' CDs... It sounds odd and I'm not a huge believer but every night before I go to bed I listen to it, it's about 20mins... At first it didn't do anything other than put me to sleep but over about a week it's filled me with positive affirmations about myself and attitudes to food etc. I realised after a week that it was less about the goal and more about the journey, that it's okay to not lose all the weight in week, that it's going to take time and I'm surprised in myself that I actually believe that now. It was so subtle but I think it pulled me back into a positive state, and it's much easier to get started when you're feeling positive about the future and starting to look forward to working for it.
I'm not sure how everyone else feels about it, but I was surprised at how well it worked for me. Hope this helps! Bec0
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