I Feel the Need for a Rant
Replies
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I would wager a guess that many of the posts you've been responding to are originally made from new people to the site who have yet to gather the wisdom of those who have been here long enough to read through the forums and learn what we have learned. Also sometimes it is all about the manner in which you present the information to the person in question.
(And this doesn't mean I am not saying you're not being supportive, I've not read the posts you are talking about.)0 -
Because she's a teenage girl, going with friends. Totally understandable.
Totally NOT understandable. I have 3 teenaged sons, with minds of their own. As a matter of fact two of them work at Mcdonalds. One of them has worked there over a year and NEVER eaten the food once. He WORKS there 5 days a week and is able not to eat there.
Well good for them.
Frankly, you sound like a jerk and really judgmental. I am glad that this girl, who for whatever reason felt she had to eat there, was at least trying to find decent options.
Unclench a little, dude.
Judgemental, Maybe. Honest, yes, TO A FAULT.
Although I agree with a lot of what you said, until YOU are perfect, you shouldn't judge other people. Yes, when you decide what other people is doing is wrong that is you judging. Being honest doesn't mean saying every thought that comes into your head when you think it.
People come here to learn and get support. Granted, there is a lot of nonsense. But, being harsh and nasty will only turn them away -- and don't say they should be stronger, because we all have our issues and weaknesses. We are all learning. Offer support, be kind, if they don't take it it's on them.
Part of learning to be healthy and fit is learning how to make better choices -- like what to eat when you go out with friends. People will figure it out when they are ready, or they won't, but it has no effect on me (or you) until they do. It's not about you.
I wish we had an unclench icon. :indifferent: :huh:0 -
I so do agree. Regardless if people say. "If you don't agree don't say anything." Because, if WE DON'T SAY A WORD the person will fail! Then their life is in danger.
Then dong found it. How can anyone eat only 1200 calories? I would faint!
As to the McDonalds...I had to laugh at that slightly..
I would think it would only be Taco Bell! With them being 4th meal and all.0 -
Because she's a teenage girl, going with friends. Totally understandable.
I have a teenage daughter and her friends go to McDonald's all the time...... she does to, but she does not eat that crap! she will buy a bottle water and eat at home! this is NO excuse for crap!
Thats great for your daughter. I am glad she can do that. Not everyone has the same experience. As a secure adult i still find it difficult going to restaurants with friends who dont "get" my diet and continuously encourage me to eat with them. I have had coworkers taunt me with food. Its not always easy to say no, especially if you are trying to "fit in". I cant imagine how hard it would have been for me as a teenager if this were the same situation.0 -
I get it... it's frustrating when people are supporting people with really unhealthy or dangerous habits.
I saw one who was telling another girl that eating 500 calories a day and exercising wasn't bad at all, and that she should just ignore everyone else posting that she needs to seek medical help .
Point being... the girl saying that *thinks* she's helping.. and the person who posted the initial topic doesn't WANT to believe what everyone is saying... and is looking for that ONE nugget of support. People see what they want to see.
Doesn't matter how much you want to help, you can only help the people who are honestly willing to listen and accept the help.
Some people on here at ready for it, a lot are on their way, and some are not.
It's just the way it goes in forums unfortunately.0 -
This is ridonkulous! I don't imagine that a 15 year old girl going to mcdonalds and asking what the best choices might be REALLY considered whether she should have said " I'm going" instead of "I have to go" because someone might be anally retentive enough to get their knickers in a twist about the fatalist implications of the phrase!
Really? And also does anyone really have a problem giving advice on best options for them personally when eating out?! On a board meant for the open sharing and discussion of that kind of thing?
Also the people whose teens never eat at McDonald's need to get out of the house now, because there is some alien infestation going on and those things will be bursting out of chests and fighting predator all over the shop which can get quite messy0 -
Maybe it's the way you phrase your advice? Not having read your posts other than this one, I wouldn't know. I'm going to assume this post sounds the way it does because it's a rant. And some of the items - I agree. But not all of them. The 1200 calories? According to charts, I'm morbidly obese. When I put my goals in MFP, it tells me to aim for 1200 calories. I tried that. I failed miserably, so I adjusted. But the poster probably put in a goal weight, and a goal date, and MFP said here you go. The Lean Cuisine? Again, didn't read the whole thing, but seriously, I have never understood where the outrage comes from when a frozen meal is mentioned. I eat them sometimes. It's quick, it's cheap, and stays in the freezer forever (that last point may not be a good one). It's convenient when I've had back to back meetings, unexpected appts, and my choice is skipping a meal or zapping something. And I never knock a SAHM and say she's got plenty of time to cook, grocery shop, etc. SAHM is a job in itself, so in her context, she may need that convenience factor.
As for McDonalds, she didn't say someone had a gun to her head and she had to eat there. And she was asking for the best choice in the situation. You've never been a 15 yr old girl. While it may be sad and a reflection on society, for a 15 year old girl, fitting in and feeling like part of the group is as important to her as your need to rant about what you feel are wrong choices by others.
I don't get all ticked off by people's questions. There are some that I laugh at. Some that shock me. But it boils down to - there is no ONE way to lose weight. There's a thousand different opinions on this site. Some work for a person, and some don't. If I were to try giving up potatoes and bread for the rest of my life, I wouldn't make it a week before I was binging. But for many others, that is the way to go. I don't knock them for it. I don't rant about it. I don't even go around saying that's wrong. I just say it doesn't work for me. Why put that much energy into getting ticked off by something that isn't even directed at me? It's not worth it.0 -
Eating McDonalds has not stopped my progress.. I shall continue on with my weekend delight of soft baked cookies & ice cream :drinker:
ETA: If you’re going to capitalize a word make sure it’s spelled correctly.. I’m just saying.0 -
Some people don't want to hear/accept knowledge that will require sustained willpower and dedication to carry out. I'm largely in the camp of doing it the "honest" way — sensible diet and frequent exercise. But let's not forget that all of us are at different points in the weight-loss journey. People usually make mistakes while trying to accomplish something new and unfamiliar, and for people who are morbidly obese, I don't blame them for wishing there were a quick fix — being massively overweight must truly suck, regardless of the cause. BUT, as you say, quick fixes in the weight-loss world are fool's gold, and people need to take responsibility for their health before they will see real, sustained progress. I don't think it's constructive to mock them, as some are less informed on matters of nutrition, but I do think they need to accept accountability, stop making excuses and start making better decisions for the sake of their own health.0
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This is ridonkulous! I don't imagine that a 15 year old girl going to mcdonalds and asking what the best choices might be REALLY considered whether she should have said " I'm going" instead of "I have to go" because someone might be anally retentive enough to get their knickers in a twist about the fatalist implications of the phrase!
Really? And also does anyone really have a problem giving advice on best options for them personally when eating out?! On a board meant for the open sharing and discussion of that kind of thing?
Also the people whose teens never eat at McDonald's need to get out of the house now, because there is some alien infestation going on and those things will be bursting out of chests and fighting predator all over the shop which can get quite messy
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
one of my friends is over weight and getting heavier. She does my head in constantly complaining but does no exercise and dsnt want to and eats nothing but take aways!!!!
She calls me too skinny (because im not her size) when I eat healthy and tells me how rotting all healthy food is lol
Its just really starting to bug me I love her but ffs stop eating *kitten*!!!0 -
Maybe if you encouraged these people they could learn a better way. Negative responses just don't get anywhere. As for McDonalds, I'd go hungry before I ate there.0
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you can get a salad at McDs like0
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Some people only want support if it supports what they want. My example when I read an article about coffee being good for you, I think "whoopee." When I see one that is negative about coffee, I don't read it!0
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3. Another poster, self admitted, morbidly obese, was upset and asking for ways to keep her calories under 1200. Instead of people trying to explain to her that she is probably not using the site properly and probably SHOULD be eating more than 1200, they are trying to help her get under 1200.
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When I spoke up in these threads, I was told I was not being SUPPORTIVE. I am not being SUPPORTIVE? Encouraging morbidly obese people to eat less than 1200 calories? WTF is that? Certainly not support.
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Please people. STOP making EXCUSES for not eating right.
I completely agree with you on this point; however OP maybe people aren't being very *nice* to you in the threads because they feel like you are trying to shove something down their throat that you aren't practicing yourself. Pardon my snooping, but your diary shows that you regularly net an average of about 850 calories per day; and there was only one day in the past week where you netted above 1200 calories. Hey - if that works for you, great. I won't be one to get on here and say that's the wrong thing for you to do. But if you yourself are telling other people that they need to eat more than 1200 calories per day - but you're not doing it yourself - pot, meet kettle...0 -
It seems utterly absurd on an open forum of feedback and discussion that operates on the principle that some people here do know what works and what is right; to tell people not to "judge". Every time someone says not to "judge" it makes me want to punch a dolphin. It has become one of the most inane and utterly obnoxious things to hear or read since the moment I could form friggin thoughts.
We all judge. We form conclusions. Sometimes something can be completely *kitten* backwards and it NEEDS to be pointed out. This is natural, this is okay. To say otherwise is completely assenine and makes you look like you are are some kind of thoughtless, gelatenous blob of a personality that can really just be swayed any which way because they shall not form a definitive judgement on anything.
Some people are wrong, and some people are willing to admit they are wrong on these forums. Quite a few people though do not want to be wrong, or refuse to hear anything that is not an enabling statement or comes with the proper amount of coddling and pampering lest they feel any bit of emotional discomfort. Yes there ARE stupid questions, we live in an age where quite a bit of information can be readily obtained from authoratative sources instead of coming to an open forum to ask a question or for input and then argue down people that aren't verbally fluffy enough.
To OP, I heart you.
To everyone else, stop reporting me for cursing. You make the mods sad because they all like me.0 -
Not everyone is going to so things YOUR way. That is just the reality of an open site like this.0
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3. Another poster, self admitted, morbidly obese, was upset and asking for ways to keep her calories under 1200. Instead of people trying to explain to her that she is probably not using the site properly and probably SHOULD be eating more than 1200, they are trying to help her get under 1200.
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When I spoke up in these threads, I was told I was not being SUPPORTIVE. I am not being SUPPORTIVE? Encouraging morbidly obese people to eat less than 1200 calories? WTF is that? Certainly not support.
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Please people. STOP making EXCUSES for not eating right.
I completely agree with you on this point; however OP maybe people aren't being very *nice* to you in the threads because they feel like you are trying to shove something down their throat that you aren't practicing yourself. Pardon my snooping, but your diary shows that you regularly net an average of about 850 calories per day; and there was only one day in the past week where you netted above 1200 calories. Hey - if that works for you, great. I won't be one to get on here and say that's the wrong thing for you to do. But if you yourself are telling other people that they need to eat more than 1200 calories per day - but you're not doing it yourself - pot, meet kettle...
TRUE THAT!!!0 -
I'll just rant about this board ...which I love, but hate the following:
1. thread titles that are intentionally ambigious/vague , e.g. I'm so done!!! or "What am I doing wrong??"
2. repeat threads ... you know what I'm talking about. those should get deleted quick.
3. any thread title that has "mommy." just gets under my skin
4. threads that intentionaly exclude people, like, "only for people under 5'5" or "Real Women with Curves Only"0 -
It seems utterly absurd on an open forum of feedback and discussion that operates on the principle that some people here do know what works and what is right; to tell people not to "judge". Every time someone says not to "judge" it makes me want to punch a dolphin. It has become one of the most inane and utterly obnoxious things to hear or read since the moment I could form friggin thoughts.
We all judge. We form conclusions. Sometimes something can be completely *kitten* backwards and it NEEDS to be pointed out. This is natural, this is okay. To say otherwise is completely assenine and makes you look like you are are some kind of thoughtless, gelatenous blob of a personality that can really just be swayed any which way because they shall not form a definitive judgement on anything.
Some people are wrong, and some people are willing to admit they are wrong on these forums. Quite a few people though do not want to be wrong, or refuse to hear anything that is not an enabling statement or comes with the proper amount of coddling and pampering lest they feel any bit of emotional discomfort. Yes there ARE stupid questions, we live in an age where quite a bit of information can be readily obtained from authoratative sources instead of coming to an open forum to ask a question or for input and then argue down people that aren't verbally fluffy enough.
To OP, I heart you.
To everyone else, stop reporting me for cursing. You make the mods sad because they all like me.
You need an excuse to punch a dolphin? I just hate their smug attitude and their demands for cash to frolic in some holiday snaps0 -
Your points are well made. I don't think your being rude, you care. Trouble is each person is unique in life, goals, and how they handle challenges. I am a Mom of five and finally getting it. No matter how much you want to make someone understand immediately, knowledge comes over time and practice. You sharing your knowledge and experiences is not wasted.
I like your post. I sometimes need to hear exactly what you wrote. A mind is a funny thing, when you have your thoughts going in a good direction sometimes they get away from you. Diet pills have tempted me, weight loss is hard work and very difficult for some, I understand and sympathize with this. Having to eat a type of food, yes oh YES has this tempted me. I have kids and I have battled with them to eat right, done all the tricks in the book. I make two meals now, one for myself and one for the rest. I am tempted very often to eat their food I know I should not and am looking forward to when this stops.
People get worn down, they get mislead, they are new to the weight loss experience. Saying the same things over and over can get tiresome. Your comments are good and needed even if the recipient doesn't respond to them. We lose the support system when people tire of doing what is right.
Good job! Keep caring.0 -
"Why do you care what other people eat? Mind your own business!"
If people wanted to lose weight privately, then they wouldn't be posting their nutrition diary on a public forum and giving advice to others.
"You're JUDGING PEOPLE!"
Of course, we all are. But there's also a difference between criticising someone's weight loss methods, and judging someone's character as "good" or "bad". That's what judgment is - An assumption of someone's character.0 -
Frankly, you sound like a jerk and really judgmental. I am glad that this girl, who for whatever reason felt she had to eat there, was at least trying to find decent options.
Unclench a little, dude.
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Why is it if someone isn't all Pollyanna about the advice they give, or all rainbows and singing happy birds they are called judgemental? A fact is a fact, why does someone have to wrap it up in a pretty little bow for it to be accepted?0 -
For the people that agree with me, Thank You.
For those that disagree and say I might be talking rudely or judgemental, isn't this forum about helping each other when someone asks for an opinion.
If you feel my opinion or judgement is taken as rude or judgemental, when you make a thread, in the title, please express that my opinion is not welcome.0 -
There are healthy - or at least, lower calorie - options at McDonald's that can certainly fit into your calorie goal for the day. There is no such thing as a "negative calorie" food, although some say celery may be it, because if you eat only celery, you may shoot a hole through your head and thus lose some body mass.
I have never seen an "Under 1200 calories?" thread that didn't receive several responses telling the poster that MFP usually sets your calorie goal way too low and to check http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/bmr/ and run your numbers for a more effective life plan for eating.
It's teh intarnet, people will not always agree with you. They will not always give the right answers. All you can do is give what you believe to be correct and not respond to negativity - and certainly don't create it yourself.0 -
Frankly, you sound like a jerk and really judgmental. I am glad that this girl, who for whatever reason felt she had to eat there, was at least trying to find decent options.
Unclench a little, dude.
Why is it if someone isn't all Pollyanna about the advice they give, or all rainbows and singing happy birds they are called judgemental? A fact is a fact, why does someone have to wrap it up in a pretty little bow for it to be accepted?
Very true. I always find it amusing that the people jumping all over someone for not being supportive can't see the irony in their own little rant.0 -
I feel frustrated too by many of the comments I see because people seem to be looking for a shortcut to fitness. Then I remember, that I once was one of those people. Each person has to do this in their own time and in their own way. Those of use who have lost weight just become another voice in the choir saying don't eat this and workout like that. I face this with real life friends and I do want to pull my hair out but I just hope that by continuing to lead a semi-normal life while improving my fitness others will see they can do it too.
THIS^ I totally agree. I have decided to limit my time on the forum reading success stories. On all the other posts, someone always ends up mad, arguments break out, or the OP gives up and moves on. So frustrating.0 -
It seems utterly absurd on an open forum of feedback and discussion that operates on the principle that some people here do know what works and what is right; to tell people not to "judge". Every time someone says not to "judge" it makes me want to punch a dolphin. It has become one of the most inane and utterly obnoxious things to hear or read since the moment I could form friggin thoughts.
We all judge. We form conclusions. Sometimes something can be completely *kitten* backwards and it NEEDS to be pointed out. This is natural, this is okay. To say otherwise is completely assenine and makes you look like you are are some kind of thoughtless, gelatenous blob of a personality that can really just be swayed any which way because they shall not form a definitive judgement on anything.
Some people are wrong, and some people are willing to admit they are wrong on these forums. Quite a few people though do not want to be wrong, or refuse to hear anything that is not an enabling statement or comes with the proper amount of coddling and pampering lest they feel any bit of emotional discomfort. Yes there ARE stupid questions, we live in an age where quite a bit of information can be readily obtained from authoratative sources instead of coming to an open forum to ask a question or for input and then argue down people that aren't verbally fluffy enough.
To OP, I heart you.
To everyone else, stop reporting me for cursing. You make the mods sad because they all like me.
Thank you. I read alot of your posts and you are way more articulate than I.0 -
Aaaand this is why I rarely post my own questions in the forums. Google doesn't judge.0
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It seems utterly absurd on an open forum of feedback and discussion that operates on the principle that some people here do know what works and what is right; to tell people not to "judge". Every time someone says not to "judge" it makes me want to punch a dolphin. It has become one of the most inane and utterly obnoxious things to hear or read since the moment I could form friggin thoughts.
We all judge. We form conclusions. Sometimes something can be completely *kitten* backwards and it NEEDS to be pointed out. This is natural, this is okay. To say otherwise is completely assenine and makes you look like you are are some kind of thoughtless, gelatenous blob of a personality that can really just be swayed any which way because they shall not form a definitive judgement on anything.
Some people are wrong, and some people are willing to admit they are wrong on these forums. Quite a few people though do not want to be wrong, or refuse to hear anything that is not an enabling statement or comes with the proper amount of coddling and pampering lest they feel any bit of emotional discomfort. Yes there ARE stupid questions, we live in an age where quite a bit of information can be readily obtained from authoratative sources instead of coming to an open forum to ask a question or for input and then argue down people that aren't verbally fluffy enough.
To OP, I heart you.
To everyone else, stop reporting me for cursing. You make the mods sad because they all like me.
Thank you. I read alot of your posts and you are way more articulate than I.
Let's be fair, usually I'm a smartass and I curse alot.
I'm short on patience with most things
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