"I'm sorry, your spouse is going to die...

245

Replies

  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I have heard those words, 12 years ago in april I lost my first love and the father
    of my children to cancer, he was 38 yrs old.
    What did i do ? I honestly don't remember I saw everything thru a haze and pondered
    why my neighbors were mowing there grass why kids were playing basket ball and
    laughing and birds were singing Didnt they know my Bill was dying ! I remeber a pic nic
    and a butterfly exhibit I remember screaming into a towel in my bathroom for god to
    take him cause i couldnt do it anymore and the guilt I still feel for that request.
    Fast forward almost 13 years my kids are grown and parents, my husband of almost 10yrs
    will be 44 and after surgery Chemo and Radiation over the past 10 months I now await those words again
    What if ? I hope you never get your answer........

    so sorry you had to go through this. i'll keep you in my prayers that you don't have to again!!
  • BeautifulArtemis
    BeautifulArtemis Posts: 641 Member
    I lost my first love that way....within 3 days of diagnosis....just gone...I would be devestated if my husband now of 10 years was taken away....no words...I still haven't fully accepted the 1st death....
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I lost mine last year in a car accident, the unexpected loss left so may what-ifs and made it so hard. I'd def prefer to never again deal with this loss, but I think knowing time is limited, you could at least say the things you needed to. :sick:

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you're right, that at least this way there would be a chance to say it all... ((Hugs)) for you!!!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Celebrate that I get full custody of the kids!

    Is your spouse an actual danger to your children? Or do you just not like him/her? Because saying you would celebrate the fact that your children would have to grow up without a mother/father sounds pretty effed up to me..

    Some of the answers on here... smh :noway:
  • amuchison
    amuchison Posts: 274 Member
    Depends on why? and if there is anything that can be done to prevent it? I.E. a health issue,losing weight whatever and then man controls nothing God controls everything so I would be on my knees saying the Serenity Prayer and then move on and live life:)
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    ask my mfp crushes if they wanted to go on a date a week from now.
  • BeautifulArtemis
    BeautifulArtemis Posts: 641 Member
    I have heard those words, 12 years ago in april I lost my first love and the father
    of my children to cancer, he was 38 yrs old.
    What did i do ? I honestly don't remember I saw everything thru a haze and pondered
    why my neighbors were mowing there grass why kids were playing basket ball and
    laughing and birds were singing Didnt they know my Bill was dying ! I remeber a pic nic
    and a butterfly exhibit I remember screaming into a towel in my bathroom for god to
    take him cause i couldnt do it anymore and the guilt I still feel for that request.
    Fast forward almost 13 years my kids are grown and parents, my husband of almost 10yrs
    will be 44 and after surgery Chemo and Radiation over the past 10 months I now await those words again
    What if ? I hope you never get your answer........

    so sorry you had to go through this. i'll keep you in my prayers that you don't have to again!!

    I didn't have any time to prepare, they diagnosed him on Feb 17, 1997 and he was gone Feb 20th 1997...I was so damn angry that the world kept going...I remember making some bad mistakes and everything was a haze for me as well...
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I lost my first love that way....within 3 days of diagnosis....just gone...I would be devestated if my husband now of 10 years was taken away....no words...I still haven't fully accepted the 1st death....

    I'd wish this on no one. I'm sorry.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    I don't want a spouse... but I had to play this game with my mom... last year... not a game I want to try to define
  • kepete
    kepete Posts: 268 Member
    I could only pray that I'd be able to fulfill his every want and dream. I'd pray to have a relationship like my friend who tragically lost her husband at 30 years old. She left nothing on the table with him before he passed on.
  • thebaconbeast
    thebaconbeast Posts: 560 Member
    Can I at least meet her first?
  • JuneBPrice
    JuneBPrice Posts: 294 Member
    Get a second opinion, since I'm not married.
    ^^This
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    Some of the answers on here... smh :noway:

    Some? I think most of them are, ether they are taking this as a game... or really don't know what it feels like to have their heart ripped out of their chest at a loved one's last breath
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
    Please say this is not a serious thread?

    agreed...

    double agreed... why would anyone want to think about that... death of a spouse/family member- whether ex or not- isn't something to take lightly... sorry for being a total prude about this, i'm usually laid back, but come on...
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
    First, we'd say a prayer together as I tell her how much I love her and how much our life together has meant, then set up my eharmony account and gather the life insurance information.

    I'd like to buy a boat....:drinker:
  • achvr
    achvr Posts: 21 Member
    When i was told I was going to die, I focused on embracing every moment and living life to the fullest.....and proving that no doctor could dictate my time on earth!!! I did everything I could to get healthy. As far as what I would do if I was told my spouse was going to die, I don't know....because I am not married.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    I never got the luxury of these words...my bride passed 4 1/2 years ago....3 days before her 32nd birthday...That final day haunts me still.
  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 324 Member
    wait till he is not around then cry myself sick... then wash my face and suck it up and face.... i dont know what else i could do and i pray i wont have to face this for a long time
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    Whatever the hell he wants.

    ~shakes my head~

    We were lucky. His form of leukemia is a treatable one, though not curable.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
    I'm not married, but if I lost my love of six years I would be beyond devastation.
    I would spend the week trying to do anything I could to make his last days memorable for us both.
    I would forsake everything to be with him until his last moment.
    I'd probably lose my mind. :frown:
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,324 Member
    I have heard those words, 12 years ago in april I lost my first love and the father
    of my children to cancer, he was 38 yrs old.
    What did i do ? I honestly don't remember I saw everything thru a haze and pondered
    why my neighbors were mowing there grass why kids were playing basket ball and
    laughing and birds were singing Didnt they know my Bill was dying ! I remeber a pic nic
    and a butterfly exhibit I remember screaming into a towel in my bathroom for god to
    take him cause i couldnt do it anymore and the guilt I still feel for that request.
    Fast forward almost 13 years my kids are grown and parents, my husband of almost 10yrs
    will be 44 and after surgery Chemo and Radiation over the past 10 months I now await those words again
    What if ? I hope you never get your answer........

    so sorry you had to go through this. i'll keep you in my prayers that you don't have to again!!

    I didn't have any time to prepare, they diagnosed him on Feb 17, 1997 and he was gone Feb 20th 1997...I was so damn angry that the world kept going...I remember making some bad mistakes and everything was a haze for me as well...

    I remember the anger and the careless bad choices, i know exactly how you felt
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I never got the luxury of these words...my bride passed 4 1/2 years ago....3 days before her 32nd birthday...That final day haunts me still.

    I'm so sorry.
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
    .
  • Deedsie
    Deedsie Posts: 348 Member
    It would be the first week that I didn't sleep at all. I wouldn't close my eyes. Then, if he didn't die which is wonderful like you didn't, I would sue that doctor out of practice. That's a big mistake to make.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    wow those first two comments are horrible!
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Unplug the internet and make every minute count.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    It's super sad and annoying to hear all you people say rejoice, and be happy,and booty call and crap. If you don't love who your with why stay with them? Why marry them in the first place? People take marriage super lightly these days, like it's a joke. -_-
  • lauleipop
    lauleipop Posts: 260 Member
    Some? I think most of them are, ether they are taking this as a game... or really don't know what it feels like to have their heart ripped out of their chest at a loved one's last breath

    Or they aren't defining their existance by their signficant other. Seriously, if my partner died, I would say goodbye and move forward. Everything in life is seasonal, ya'll, and nothing is guaranteed. It would hurt, but it sure as **** wouldn't shatter my world. Life and the world doesn't stop for grief or heartache, and I'm not going to stop for it either. Feel it, embrace it, let it go.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
    To those joking about it (i.e. buying a stupid boat), karma is not a fun thing to play with and this is a good exercise to bring you to a point of realization as to how important that person is to you if you are not already acutely aware.

    If they're not important to you to the extent that you can joke about it, divorce and move on so that they can find someone wonderful that doesn't make such childish, foolish and tasteless jokes and can appreciate them fully. :mad:

    Some people are SO socially unacceptable.

    To the OP, I'm sorry your husband had to hear those words and I'm glad you're still here. :heart:
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    I have heard those words, 12 years ago in april I lost my first love and the father
    of my children to cancer, he was 38 yrs old.
    What did i do ? I honestly don't remember I saw everything thru a haze and pondered
    why my neighbors were mowing there grass why kids were playing basket ball and
    laughing and birds were singing Didnt they know my Bill was dying ! I remeber a pic nic
    and a butterfly exhibit I remember screaming into a towel in my bathroom for god to
    take him cause i couldnt do it anymore and the guilt I still feel for that request.
    Fast forward almost 13 years my kids are grown and parents, my husband of almost 10yrs
    will be 44 and after surgery Chemo and Radiation over the past 10 months I now await those words again
    What if ? I hope you never get your answer........

    Your posting to this thread floored me, it really did.

    There are no words to say, not that I can think of anyway, that would even come close to being a sensitive reply to your situation.

    My heart really does goes out to you and I wish that you never have to hear those words again. xxx
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