When to get Married...

BabyLeila23
BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
in Chit-Chat
Does anyone else have their ENTIRE family bugging them to settle down? Just curious lol.

BTW I'm only 23 :)
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Replies

  • thatTASHAgirl
    thatTASHAgirl Posts: 8
    Yup! Im 30 and it still happens. It gets easier to ignore until the emdless stream of weddings will start with your friends in the next few years.
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
    My family has never mentioned anything of the like to me and I'll be 33 next month. Though last month my mother did mention something that made me think she has long written me off as ever having kids.
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    Lol that endless stream started years ago for me. My older sister is married, most of my friends and relatives around my age are too. I just haven't found Mr. Right yet and don't want to settle for Mr. Right now.
  • kateanne27
    kateanne27 Posts: 275 Member
    I had the opposite, when I got married, I was gaining a stepdaughter, and my mom had a little freak out that she wasn't ready to think of herself as a grandmother (at 55)
  • thatTASHAgirl
    thatTASHAgirl Posts: 8
    I hear you on settling. I refuse to do the same. But ill be honest, i enjoy the hell out of all the mr right nows.
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    I hear you on settling. I refuse to do the same. But ill be honest, i enjoy the hell out of all the mr right nows.

    hahahaha
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    N e v e r.
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    N e v e r.

    this? is why we're friends.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    My mom goes back and forth on it. One minute, she doesn't want me to get married because I'm the only child she doesn't have to "share" with another family on holidays (my brother and sister are both married). The next minute, she's telling me how worried she is about me because I'm about to be 30 and I'm too picky and blah blah blah.

    My dad doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

    My brother and sister never mention it, but my brother's wife, who is very much like a sister to me, mentions it constantly. It's less of a "when are you going to get married?" thing with her and more of an "I just have a feeling you're going to be married by the end of the year!" thing. Um, no.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Only get married when the little stick turns blue.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Ask them...is it your life or theirs you are living?
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
    I got married at 21 to my High School sweetheart. My son has just gotten married at 18. Yes, I will be a grandfather soon (in November).

    I think the most important thing to remember about getting married is that you need to find someone who will be willing to submit to. And someone who is willing to submit to you. If you are both in a role where you are looking out for the others best interest, your marriage will flourish. If you are just getting married because society say's you MUST, then I would recommend that you don't. You'll probably just end up another divorce statistic.

    Marriage is a sacrifice of your self to include another person as a part of you. It's that whole 2 become 1 flesh thing. That's when it works best.

    It's not 'when' to marry, but 'why' to marry.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Only get married when the little stick turns blue.

    snort.
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    My husband asked my parents when we were 20 years old if he could marry me and they told him no, we were too young. Months later we ended up running off and eloping. So no... I had the opposite of this problem! LOL
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Nah, I did what I want. We waited til we were ready mentally and financially.

    Course now every time we see any family they ask "when you getting knocked up?"
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
    My cousins and friends are all getting married and having kids and we're all around the same age (25). I've been with my other half on and off for 9 years now, and I get questioned on a daily basis about when the two of us are going to get married. It's up to us and not up to anyone else, so we'll get married when the time's right - although with the constant nagging from family members, we might as well elope!
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    I got married at 21 to my High School sweetheart. My son has just gotten married at 18. Yes, I will be a grandfather soon (in November).

    I think the most important thing to remember about getting married is that you need to find someone who will be willing to submit to. And someone who is willing to submit to you. If you are both in a role where you are looking out for the others best interest, your marriage will flourish. If you are just getting married because society say's you MUST, then I would recommend that you don't. You'll probably just end up another divorce statistic.

    Marriage is a sacrifice of your self to include another person as a part of you. It's that whole 2 become 1 flesh thing. That's when it works best.

    It's not 'when' to marry, but 'why' to marry.

    Agree!! =)
  • docdrd
    docdrd Posts: 174 Member
    I think it is partly a geographic thing. In the Northeast, people tend to get married later than in the South. I never got any of that grief, but I did get asked when we were going to have kids once it had been a couple of years (and that I understand more). Do NOT settle. I have watched many friends get divorced and it is just AWFUL!! Much better to wait and find the right person. Cheers!
  • TadaGanIarracht
    TadaGanIarracht Posts: 2,615 Member
    Get married when it's something that you AND your significant other want. If it's forced, if you do it just because it's the right thing to do for whatever reason, chances are your marriage will fail.

    As for family pressuring me, nope. Pretty sure they're hoping we break up so I'll move back home.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    When you feel like it's time. I don't see why it's necessary to be at a certain point in your life, such as out of college or having a stable career. People get married while in college all the time. In my case, we aren't at a super stable point but we already live together, share bills and live like a married couple and just want to make it official and be able to call each other husband and wife.

    All I know is to stay away from the forums on TheKnot.com when you start planning your happy day. It's full of hateful women that want to give you millions of reasons you shouldn't get married, troll your posts and ruin your happiness.. Strangers tell us a year isn't long enough dating or we shouldn't get married until we are more stable in our finances or careers, I don't see why people should hold you to standards if you both know it's what you want, you both know you are ready and happy..
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    Well, I'm settling down in September with a man I have been with for 7 years (I'm 24), but I'm getting the "When are you having kids?" talk already.

    Families are annoying. Stuff will happen when you're ready for it to happen, and that counts with everything in your life, from a career, to marriage (if you choose to marry or just to stay common-law or even single), to whether or not you're having kids...it's all going to happen when you're ready for it.
  • LazyDaise
    LazyDaise Posts: 48 Member
    I'm 23 and my mum called me 'on the shelf' the other day!
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    once you do get married, it doesn't just stop there.. then they are on you to have children...
  • lglg11
    lglg11 Posts: 344 Member
    Only get married when the little stick turns blue.

    Even then its a crap shoot .. trust me , I knows
  • twinsanity
    twinsanity Posts: 1,757 Member
    :laugh: Nope, mine are telling me NOT to do it! Not because of a specific man or anything, but I've been there, done that, bought that t-shirt...I'm in no rush to do it again. IF, and that's a big if, I ever do it again, it will handled a whole lot differently than my previous marriage.
  • willnorton
    willnorton Posts: 995 Member
    never never never never never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • bethmakesmusic
    bethmakesmusic Posts: 164 Member
    Nah, I did what I want. We waited til we were ready mentally and financially.

    Course now every time we see any family they ask "when you getting knocked up?"

    We get this ALL the time!!!! I'm about to turn 30. I still have a couple of good years left, right??
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
    Only get married when the little stick turns blue.

    snort.

    haha did that.....didnt really work out so well.

    I say get married when YOU feel ready. 23 is quite young in my oppinion. You have your whole life time to go for it:)
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 664 Member
    I have some in my family like that and I gotta say nothing wrong with getting married BUT I rather not give away half my stuff when it doesn’t work out
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    Haha thanks guys. Thats definitely what I was thinking. I figure when I'm ready I'll know it :)

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