Husband is skeptical

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Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I was having problems losing weight etc my Trainer said I was either sneaking food in or just plain up cheating. I got so damn pissed off at her I went to the doctor found out what was "wrong" Ive lost 34 pounds without exercise and changed my diet completly! I cant wait to tell that Trainer she dont know wtf she was talking about ;)!
    '
    That's awesome!
  • jmcdaniel0
    jmcdaniel0 Posts: 130 Member
    This is what i told my wife.

    "I would love for you to join me on this lifestyle change, I am going to lose weight and be healthy for me, not you. If you want to join me, I will encourage and help you along the way, but if you do not. Then I will will do this by myself. Likewise, the food you choose to eat, is your choice, I will make my own choices. I will do this because I want to, not because some person said I was fat. I will succeed, because I have to. Failure is not an option. So, are you in or out."

    BTW she is out lol... BUT, she will start when she is ready. I am hoping my examples will bleed over to her, eventually.

    So, my best advice, is to have a heart to heart with him. explain how hard it is to make these changes, and tell him to support you, or just keep his mouth shut. I don't mean to be blunt, but that's just the way it is.
  • needamulligan
    needamulligan Posts: 558 Member
    Why not? What do you have to lose besides bad habits, poor health & extra weight? AND! MFP is free! I can't see a single reason not to do this. Proving your husband wrong is an extra perk!
  • KSCarnivore
    KSCarnivore Posts: 37
    My husband and I were in a place that was nutritionally very different. He like to eat fast food and to eat very late at night. I had to "nutritionally divorce" him. Now, I prepare my meals on my schedule and he is left to fend for himself. My husband likes to watch t.v. at night and I go out and walk five miles. I'm down 40 lbs and the feel like a million bucks. But, I realize that I cannot reconcile my lifestyle with my husband's I will have to stand alone with my choices and my schedule for the rest of my life if need be. You can't wait for anyone else to do this with you. Reach down deep and find the strength within yourself to persevere. You're worth it.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Nothing motivates me more than someone telling me i can't .... Anyone can do Anything... Watch Amazing Life Transformations on ABC. That show motivates me and shows me all the time anyone can do anything they really want to :) You can change your lifestyle

    I do have lots of inspiration. I have two cousins that are sisters that were even more obese than me just a few years ago, and now they are at maintenance and look so good. I knew that if they could do it, so can I.

    I used to play sports as a kid....soccer, basketball, volleyball, softball, track, bowling, etc. In high school, I ran 3-5 miles three days a week and lifted weights on the days that I didn't run. I just let myself get lazy.

    Hubby will come around. He is used to me adding 5-10 pounds a year and eating everything in sight. I amazed him the other day when he and the kids were eating cookies, and I chose not to eat any. Honestly, I bought the cheapo Dollar Store cookies, so it wasn't as tempting as yummy homemade ones. :laugh:

    Once I get hubby behind me, it will be time to work on the kids. They are both overweight. I take responsibility for that too. I set a very poor example for them. It's going to take some time, but my goal is for the whole family to be healthy. It will take a year or two, but we will get there. :smokin:

    Thanks again, everyone, for your encouraging words. :heart: :love: :flowerforyou: :happy:
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    who cares what he thinks? men suck.
    you have everyone on mfp to encourage you. once you get all sexy you can dump his *kitten* for not believing in you =]

    Just...ugh.
  • dr_stacy
    dr_stacy Posts: 8
    You can do it! It doesn't matter what someone else thinks. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "Do in your heart what you feel is right for you will be criticized anyway". I am sure it is hurtful when it is your husband. Most people say those things more out of fear that you will accomplish your goal. Then they might have to look at their own lives and make a change.

    Anyway, you can do it if you want to. It is so hard to lose weight and keep it off. The worst part is just trying to figure out the right way to do it so that you can make a lifestyle. Hang in there and don't let minor setbacks throw you completely off course. If you fall off course for one moment, just hop back on there! It is never too late until we are six feet under!
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    This post makes me so grateful for my hubby. I can testify that NOT ALL MEN SUCK. It's unfair to lump them all together under a phrase like that. C'mon people. STEREOTYPES suck.

    I am very fortunate to have a husband that has supported me 100% in my weight loss journey and my continuing efforts to maintain. He touts my achievements to everyone we know (I've finally stopped blushing when he does it in front of me), helps me through rough days, shares my enthusiasm about overcoming little hurdles, and tells me he's proud of me for working hard at something I want. Having seen my results has motivated him to make some lifestyle changes of his own, even though he didn't really need to.

    That said, not all men act in the same way. I'm sure her husband does other wonderful things for her, which is why she married him. I'd give him some credit for that while still saying don't worry about what he thinks in this area. I'm sorry you don't have his support (it would make your journey a little more pleasant) but you aren't doing it for him anyway. You can still get to where you want to be!
  • Jenny111372
    Jenny111372 Posts: 87 Member
    My biggest motivation is someone telling me I can't do something!! Oh really?? Wanna bet sucker???!! You just watch me!! :) That being said..I'm sorry he's not as supportive as I feel a spouse should be but my hubby honestly didn't think I'd stick with this either..6 months later and 38.8 pounds lighter I've proved him wrong! :) He never doubted I COULD do it..just doubted I WOULD do it! You can do it!!!
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    You can do this! Shame on him for not being supportive! You know, there's nothing I enjoy more than proving my boyfriend wrong ;)

    ^^^YES. What she said!!!!
  • raeleek
    raeleek Posts: 414 Member
    I need this site for motivation and support. My husband thinks I won't last long and will give up, but I can't do that! I have to change my lifestyle or I will have a heart attack before I reach 60!

    First, smack him. That's just rude. He needs to get on board. That's part of what a marriage should be about. Cheering each other on!
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    I had tried multiple times to lose weight, so my fiance was the same way when I started this time around, 50 lbs later he's incredibly supportive!! You'll get there and he'll come around, just remember you're doing it for you, not him :)
  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 438 Member
    I need this site for motivation and support. My husband thinks I won't last long and will give up, but I can't do that! I have to change my lifestyle or I will have a heart attack before I reach 60!

    You can do it! You're in the right place! You have a great community here, an easy way to track and ask questions, and people who will cheer you on. Good for you for taking charge of your future!
  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
    Love it!
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    write really big on a piece of paper: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! and stick it somewhere your husband will see it.... Then get it back and keep it, stick on your fridge or something

    YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!!
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    My husband was skeptical when I first started on MFP. He had every reason to be, because I never stuck with any attempt to lose weight. One I hit around 30 days of logging in every day, he knew for sure that I am in it for hte long haul. He said he's very proud of my determination this time around and is happy I found something that works for me. He is also trying to lose weight. We will work out together sometimes, but I think it works best with us doing it in our own way at our own pace.
    Once he sees your commitment he will be happy :smile:
  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
    It's nice to know that I'm not the only one with this issue. It is at that point where he will have to fend for himself because I will not be able to do it. Now if I could just work on his mother with her sending snacks to the house it would be an easier feat.
  • Rockmyskinnyjeans
    Rockmyskinnyjeans Posts: 431 Member
    I agree with the above posters; prove him wrong! My husband is very supportive. He was doing it with me for a while, but slipped back into old habits and he regained. I am trying to encourage HIM now. I hate to hear with someone isn't encouraging!
  • SPBROOKS68
    SPBROOKS68 Posts: 561 Member
    Get rid of all the junk food in the house - look at other people's food diary's for healthier eating ideas and bring those foods into the house and only cook that - NOT only will he see that you are serious, He will lose weight too. Remember to drink lots of water - I LOVE mine with fresh squeezed lemon.

    YOU CAN DO THIS :wink:

    If you need more support add more friends who have similar interests & amount of weight to lose!
  • czuniga03
    czuniga03 Posts: 99
    You go this! Nothing better than proving critics wrong..Feel free to add me I'm on here everyday & try to be as supportive as possible :)
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    turn that into a positive energy
  • whamann1
    whamann1 Posts: 40 Member
    You have been given tons of support and encouragement! I hope you feel lifted up. My husband does not say those things out loud but he must be thinking it sometimes. And for good reason. I have made so many unsuccessful attempts to loose weight over the years. This is different for you and for me! Our biggest enemy isn't our husbands but the fear of failure. There is a verse in teh Bible that says... "do what is right and do not give way to fear." Focus on doing what is right today, right now and you will be one day closer to your goal!
  • slim_photographer
    slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
    you can transform negative energy into something positive.
    You won't make him the reason for your success. In fact you are already clear about it, you don't want to have a heart attack but by all means use what he said to motivate you.
    I bought a bike 2-1/2 years ago and my co-workers rallied around it, I do my workouts during my lunch break from the office, and one of them said "Now, let's see how much dust it collects!" ouch! and then it was on, baby!
    She probably doesn't even remember she said it but I've been riding my bike 150 miles a month on average since. I don't do it for her but I will not allow their prophecy to become true.
    YOU CAN DO IT!
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
    It would not surprise me when OP reaches goal, hubby says "I knew you could do it!".
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Just an update you guys! Hubby told me this weekend that he is really proud of me for sticking with this. He said he didn't think that I would, but as he watched me turn down desserts and walk right past the beer aisle at the grocery store, he knew I was serious. He also stated that he is ready to start walking again. He is still skinny, but flabby in the legs.

    Corollary NSV: My daughter, who is also overweight, calculated her BMI, and we had a discussion about portion sizes and exercise.

    Great weekend for the family!
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    Just an update you guys! Hubby told me this weekend that he is really proud of me for sticking with this. He said he didn't think that I would, but as he watched me turn down desserts and walk right past the beer aisle at the grocery store, he knew I was serious. He also stated that he is ready to start walking again. He is still skinny, but flabby in the legs.

    Corollary NSV: My daughter, who is also overweight, calculated her BMI, and we had a discussion about portion sizes and exercise.

    Great weekend for the family!

    That's awesome! I'm so glad he's being supportive.
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