Asians trying to lose weight
Replies
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I can totally relate to this thread. My parents are from the Philippines. My mom has a tiny, tiny build at 4'11 and around 90 lbs. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I took after my Dad's build so I have a much stockier frame. Looked it up and I'm considered a large frame. Growing up, I was always the chubby girl and there were always comments about my tree trunk legs, etc. Looking back, I find it funny because I'm not really all that big. It's a cultural thing and I wish I had taken advantage of my build by starting to lift heavy at a younger age. I would be so much stronger by now!0
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Yes! I'm Chinese, and my mother weighs less than me right now. I just recovered from a badly sprained ankle, and all I hear are comments about how I've put on weight. Even my mother's Asian friends who I barely know will say something! I'm going back to China this summer, and I'm terrified. The worst thing is that I'm not even overweight. I'm average, and my weight's slowing going back down to pre-sprain levels, but my stomach's not. All my Asian friends are really thin or really muscular, and it's a bit depressing.0
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I am giggling readin this thread. It is soooo true. We Asian girls all have a critical aunt or second cousin. Haaahaa0
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Yeah what sucks even more about gaining weight and being asian is that your weight gain is the first thing a relative will gladly point out to you when you they first see you after a long time. It bugs me. I don't go out and point out to them that they got old looking or that they gained weight either. So when I gained weight I try to avoid seeing relatives or people of my race.
Can totally relate!!! Got to love those relatives >30 -
Omg story of my life. Given that a large number of Asians are literally lie walking chopsticks it's so much extra crap that normal people have to deal with. I'm a similar height... I'm. 5'2" weighing around 126.5 right now and hoping to be 114-115 by the end of the summer. Not to mention I'm in Korea for the summer and makes things only more stressful! Whatever lets be healthy and work hard and look good
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Ugh, I know what you mean. I'm from Hong Kong and if you're not under 100 pounds, doesnt matter how tall you are, you are considered fat there. Everytime I go back, ALL my relatives and cousins call me fat *le sigh* my cousin pinched my fat once and was like omgg why are you sooooo fat like a pig=___= and people (mostly aunties) whom you've met less than 2 hours will criticize you as well! They'll be like "oh most girls who come back from western countries are always sooo fat! Unlike hk girls here who care about their weight.. People who study in north america dont care so they eat hamburgers and fries and turn so fat". LIKE wtf most hk girls are skinny because they starve themselves, just because i dont starve myself doesnt mean i dont care about my health.. and funny thing is.. one of the aunties who said that had an OVERWEIGHT son (double my size lol) sitting beside her, hypocrite much?
anyways currently I weigh around 123, going back to hk in a month and a half.. so I'm hoping to get to 115 by the time i go back.. I'm only 5'2 so even if I'm in the 120s, I actually look like I'm in the 130s.. I'm guessing cause I have a high body fat % and I rarely exercise..0 -
I don't understand the obsession to be thin over. I mean I look at some of the new young models and the Miss Hong Kong contestants, and they are skinny but flabby. I don't think it's attractive. JMO.0
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I'm not Asian but my kids are half Korean, and during the 8 years me and their dad were together I experienced a lot of things you guys went through.0
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I really enjoy the blog Thick Dumpling Skin. It's edited by an Asian-American woman who works in the entertainment industry (I think she does a mixture of acting and modeling?) and discusses the intense pressures on us to be terrifyingly thin. It's nice to know that you aren't alone.
http://www.thickdumplingskin.com0 -
Also, had to share this:
Margaret Cho: Being Mad on Twitter
http://www.margaretcho.com/2012/01/11/being-mad-on-twitter/0 -
oh hell yeah, you guys know...0
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I was just reading about a procedure in Korea to reduce the calf muscle so women's legs look thinner. It made me so sad. My daughter (adopted from Korea) is so beautiful and will likely be fairly tiny by American standards, but she's also got a butt and hips (at only 7!) so I expect others in Korea would view her as 'fat'. I do my best to teach my kids that healthy is what we strive for, not skinny, but she has asked me if her belly is fat. *sigh* The good thing is that she is the type of person that just stops eating when she's full. Unlike my oldest son.0
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You are doing right by her.0
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I'm so happy to find this thread! Solidarity to thick Asians!
I've been overweight pretty much all my life, at least post-puberty. Always the fattest Asian in the group. Honestly, growing up, living amongst certain people, I was never able to have many Asian friends because they disparage my weight.
Now that I'm living in Asia again, people are NOT secretive about what they think about me. Locals think I can't understand them, so they always comment about my weight with a lot of disgust. I know that sometimes people point out fatness in a matter-of-fact way, but this isn't a case of misunderstanding cultural difference. I understand EXACTLY what they're saying, I just pretend not to speak the language.
I've had people actively, physically avoid me as if I'm diseased. It's pretty disheartening. The particular Asian country I'm in views fatness as lacking in self-control, lacking morals, and being indulgent. It's really messed up.
I'm trying hard to be healthy and be okay with myself, though. Truth is, based on my diet and activity level, I'm way healthier than a lot of folks here. I'm just fat.0 -
This is my favourite thread. So much better than that "No Mayo" thread.
Tomorrow, I leave for my family reunion / cousin's wedding. I was always the big relative during my childhood and adolescence. My older relatives *always* love to tell stories of me never wanting some Asian delicacy because I wanted a Big Mac instead. Oh, my sides are splitting from all the laughter!
Although I started losing a lot of the weight 15 years ago (with some ups and downs along the way), I still think they view me as that fat kid.
Last year, I attended a family reunion and I saw relatives I have not seen before in a long time.
They all now think I am scarily skinny and keep wanting to feed me. On the day of my cousin's wedding, we will be having dim sum in the morning and then the normal 50 million course Chinese reception. I mean, COME ON!0 -
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Filos would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
EDIT: By the way this also applies in other Asian countries as well, not just in Philippines so I'm not just picking on Filos. Most Bollywood actors are also the same. Although I know that India is more diverse than any other Asian countries but still those Indian actors are by no means representing the majority of the population.0 -
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
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Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!0 -
I think it sucks being an Asian male in America. I've always been smaller than everyone else, including most of the women. So I always felt like everyone thought I was inferior due to my size. In fact, I'm average height for a Filipino...girl. Damn haha. Then there are all those other Asian stereotypes that I don't even need to touch for everyone to know what I'm talking about.0
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LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!
HAHAHAHA! So true! If you're a dark-skinned Filipino, people liken you to a day laborer. It's crazy how the females go nuts trying to lighten their skin. I think it's just part of the Spanish colonialism mentality that still runs rampant there.0 -
Oh - to address the topic :bigsmile: this is so funny.... I am a Filipina - I was born in the Philippines but moved out to the States at a very young age - pretty much grew up here. ALL of my family is super small. All of my relatives back in P.I. are still super small, and always have been. Growing up, I was the chubby girl. I still ate my Filipino comfort food, but was exposed to the junk and fast food of America. Back in the Philippines everyone is used to grazing all day, eating fresh home made food, not convenience food like fast food chains (even though this has changed a bit... a lot of western/American influence).
I was always teased for being chubby. I'm only 4'10" and at my heaviest was about 125-130 lbs (OBESE on my little frame). Filipinos and asians in general have no problem telling you you're overweight... it IS a cultural thing for asians to freely talk about that stuff. Whether you're asian or not, they will tell you you're a heiffer.
Anyhow, I haven't been that weight in forever ... I'm now at a "normal" pinay size of about 103 pounds. ("Normal" and "healthy" per American BMI standards... actually a little heavy for an asian :laugh: )
But I understand what you all mean... it's tough because we typically don't have much to lose but it's the hardest to come off.0 -
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!
HAHAHAHA! So true! If you're a dark-skinned Filipino, people liken you to a day laborer. It's crazy how the females go nuts trying to lighten their skin. I think it's just part of the Spanish colonialism mentality that still runs rampant there.
It's all about what the symbol represents.
Tan:
West side = free from the office (vacay)
East side = can't get an office job
White skin:
West side = is this person social? Maybe a vampire, emo, or goth. Oh go out and get some sun!
East side = Oh! This person might be descended from the Ayala's or colonial backwash with passed down wealth.
It all boils down to what represents privilege. Had the Chinese been greedy and unleashed their invention of gunpowder on the world, I think we'd all be Chinese now. And those guys bounded feet for about um, 1000 years. Pains o' beauty. No matter what there is going to be an ideal that people will want to attain. It's up to the individual to buy into the symbolism. I'd hate to see another vampire self tanner victim.
/soap box0 -
I don't think the Conquistadores had to do with that. It also happens in other Asian countries as well. My Dad's is Mexican descent & we know that Mexico was also invaded by Spain. His family are not that obsessed with that although I know that in Mexico, the ones who are rich & powerful are mostly the Whites while the more native looking ones are those who are living in poverty & a lot of them cross the US border illegally to find better opportunities to support their families. However I don't think Mexicans are that obsessed with skin whitening the way South East Asians are.
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!
HAHAHAHA! So true! If you're a dark-skinned Filipino, people liken you to a day laborer. It's crazy how the females go nuts trying to lighten their skin. I think it's just part of the Spanish colonialism mentality that still runs rampant there.0 -
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!
HAHAHAHA! So true! If you're a dark-skinned Filipino, people liken you to a day laborer. It's crazy how the females go nuts trying to lighten their skin. I think it's just part of the Spanish colonialism mentality that still runs rampant there.
Ironically, most Filipinos are dark hahaha. Sometimes people who aren't familiar with how Filipinos look mistaken us for Mexicans and whatnot. I've seen plenty of Mexicans who look like pale Asians ironically. It could be due to the Spanish, I'm not sure. All I know is that my mom hates going out in the sun because she wants to remain fair skinned. :P0 -
LOL so f****ngly TRUE. I know there are exceptions but a lot of Asians paricularly those in the South East area are so obssessed with skin lightening. Being a brown-skinned Mestiza (half-Caucasian), I always get comments from a lot of people especially women that "You have beautiful eyes & nice features but you would be more attractive if you lighten up your skin a bit", OUCH!! I love my tanned skin & proud to be a brown so being called like that is like a slap on my face.What is more appalling to me are Asians trying to "lighten" their skin. When I was in the Philippines a couple of years ago and went to the main studio where they record popular shows, I couldn't believe how "white" the Asians on the show were. And it's prevalent in all Asian shows now. They actually ingest pills or use injections or creams to do this.
Ironic really because they are trying to be more "American like", but here in America we're all trying to get tanner.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Actually 90% of Filipino actors that you see in Philippine shows are half-Caucasians & those with more native features are mostly casted as maids, laborers or comedians. While some who are full-blooded Flips would do insane things like injecting some gluthatione or apply tons of whitening creams to lighten up their skin. Here the trend is the more Caucasian features you have, the more attractive you become. So sad but that's the reality.
I'm FIlipino and I know exactly what you're talking about! I think it's actually a cultural thing though. Those who are tan generally were laborers, while those who are pale aren't ever in the sun. From what I remember, those who are pale were considered beautiful and wealthy or something along those lines. Another bizarre thing is the Japanese have creams to make their nipples pink, and go through surgeries to make their eyes wider!
HAHAHAHA! So true! If you're a dark-skinned Filipino, people liken you to a day laborer. It's crazy how the females go nuts trying to lighten their skin. I think it's just part of the Spanish colonialism mentality that still runs rampant there.
It's all about what the symbol represents.
Tan:
West side = free from the office (vacay)
East side = can't get an office job
White skin:
West side = is this person social? Maybe a vampire, emo, or goth. Oh go out and get some sun!
East side = Oh! This person might be descended from the Ayala's or colonial backwash with passed down wealth.
It all boils down to what represents privilege. Had the Chinese been greedy and unleashed their invention of gunpowder on the world, I think we'd all be Chinese now. And those guys bounded feet for about um, 1000 years. Pains o' beauty. No matter what there is going to be an ideal that people will want to attain. It's up to the individual to buy into the symbolism. I'd hate to see another vampire self tanner victim.
/soap box
Good points good points.0 -
Actually Mexicans are diverse. Mexicans range from Whites, Blacks, Asians, Natives & the Mestizos who make up the majority. My grandma & her siblings are pale White while her son (my Dad) is a dark-skinned Mestizo. However the majority of those who are living in the US are mostly of Native American descent so which is why in the American's eyes, Mexicans = dark skinned which isn't always true. Since Native Americans & Filipinos share common features so its no surprise that someone who isn't familiar with the two nationalities would mistake one for the other.Ironically, most Filipinos are dark hahaha. Sometimes people who aren't familiar with how Filipinos look mistaken us for Mexicans and whatnot. I've seen plenty of Mexicans who look like pale Asians ironically. It could be due to the Spanish, I'm not sure. All I know is that my mom hates going out in the sun because she wants to remain fair skinned. :P
Ironically my Mom who is a Filipina & her family are all fair skinned but I don't think they got some Spanish in them both in features & their surname which is very much Filipino. Even my Filipino cousins are fairer than me but just like the rest, they're still distinguishable. They all look Chinese or Thai to me. I think I got my brown skin (actually most of my genes) from my Dad's side, weird especially that my Dad is 70% Spanish.0 -
The ideal Asian woman is supposed to . . .
. . . have milky white skin.
. . . weigh between 90 - 110 lbs, no matter what her height is.
. . . being too tall is not good.
. . . being too short isn't good either.
. . . big eyes with double lids are a must, a tall, but small nose is good too.
Basically, doll-like is what the current ideal is aiming for. *sigh*
Yup . . .
I was always considered one of the skinnier children when I was little, but for an Asian child? I was fat, big-boned, etc. etc .____.;; My legs were always considered "fat," but at the same time, my parents and granny just fed me and fed me, and I grew into having bad habits >>. Freshmen year in college, I ballooned up to 130 lbs and I was living with my brother at the time, my mother actually yelled at him about how he was feeding me to get me so freaking fat ;<.
But at the same time, if I said I was going on a diet, my family would feed me even MORE, even if I was fat, it's a strange, hypocritical mentality. I think their minds are screwed up from the Vietnam War or something. Not to mention they're incredibly ignorant about health and such. At least home cooking tends to be healthy, a lot of sodium though, Viets need their fish sauce~0 -
I'm half-Latina half-Asian, does that count? LOLHonestly, I find all asian women to be attractive.0 -
I was always considered one of the skinnier children when I was little, but for an Asian child? I was fat, big-boned, etc. etc .____.;; My legs were always considered "fat," but at the same time, my parents and granny just fed me and fed me, and I grew into having bad habits >>.
Yeah! I remember growing up and going to family parties. "Eat eat eat!" they would say and once you're done they'd all be like, "Why are you so FAAAT?"
Uh, confusing...?
I swear the ideal to be provider (feed feed feed) and the ideal to be a desirable, marketable lady just crash in a sad sad mess. Sad mess. It's true there is a desirable ideal (doll-like, in this case). I'm chubby and I've been chastised for it leaving me confused because the people who were chastising me were the SOURCE OF THE FATNESS. And if you dare even say no to their offerings of food, you'd be a bad kid. It's a lose lose situation unless you contracted tapeworms or something.
Anyway, again, I just think it boils down on letting symbols dictate how you feel about your status.
Critical thinking. It took me 20+ years to call their criticisms bull. My worth is not based on my waistline.
But, I do want to get fit. It comes in handy if there's ever a zombie apocolypse LOL0 -
Yup. I've always been the bigger girl Asian girl throughout my whole life.
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WOW that's so mean of them to actually berate you like that instead of condoling with your loss. I mean come on, I don't think any culture would tolerate such a thing as this. One of my ex-bf is an Indian & I know how valuable family is to you because my ex is also very close to his parents, brothers & sisters.heh, I'm Indian and have faith, nobody there calls you "fat" because they're asking "What the heck happened", they're asking because she think its a bad trait and you're a horrible person for letting yourself go.
The last time I was back home was in 2003, on my mother death. I was there for only a month. I was 200 lbs then (5 feet 9 inches male) and the comments ranged from "looks like you've been eating outside alot and not cooking home at all", "must be all those McDonalds" to asking my brother in front of me "Oh look at this bull blocking my way". The last comment was made while my mothers body was still in my house.
Gotta love us Asians. Who cares if a 19 years old boys mother is dead, lets berate him on how fat he is
Anyway I'm so sorry for your loss & more so with that thing happened to you *HUGS*0
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