Who is supported 100% or not at all, I am not :(

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  • Kathy53925
    Kathy53925 Posts: 241 Member
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    I honestly think he feels threatened. He thinks you are gonna lose weight and leave him. Maybe it's something you need to discuss. Alot of men feel threatened by their woman losing weight and getting sexy.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
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    I have support from my best friend, who is always taking working out and being healthy as serious as I am, and I have support from my family but it's kind of limited. My family has a long and very dysfunctional view on dieting, so I learned from a very early age that being thin trumped EVERYTHING in life. Slowly, over the years changes have been made and my family has been getting a healthier perspective. My support from family is limited because I always talked about getting healthy and losing weight, but never did, but as I've proven myself to be sticking to it, they've been awesome. My dad has become aware of my allergies and brings me home gluten free and organic foods all the time and my mom is encouraging my weight loss with positive criticism rather than negative. We're definitely all becoming healthy together and it's been great.
  • apedinger
    apedinger Posts: 57
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    Anyone who has posted that they get negative remarks about their journey I am so sorry....I am blessed to have amazing family and friends who cheer me on every step of the way....We will be your support here on the forum!
  • beckystahnke
    beckystahnke Posts: 41 Member
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    I swear if ANNNNYYY man made a fat joke about me, he would no longer be my husband. I'm not saying that's realistic for you, but I'd kick someone's *kitten* if they said that to me :) that is not what supportive people say or do.
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 412 Member
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    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
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    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.

    Family members can be the WORST. I have read so many negative things about other peoples significant others, I'm actually glad I'm single while making all these changes and losing weight.

    There's a girl I know who works with my friends boyfriend, and she is ridiculously good looking and has a body to die for. She's a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor and one of the nicest girls I've ever met. While talking to her one day, I mentioned I had lost 25 pounds and she was THRILLED for me, and complimented me on my hardwork and incredibly encouraging. I barely know her and yet she gave me more support in one conversation than some of my family members have.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
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    I swear if ANNNNYYY man made a fat joke about me, he would no longer be my husband. I'm not saying that's realistic for you, but I'd kick someone's *kitten* if they said that to me :) that is not what supportive people say or do.

    I agree. There's not a chance in hell i would ever let something like that slide.
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 412 Member
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    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.

    Family members can be the WORST. I have read so many negative things about other peoples significant others, I'm actually glad I'm single while making all these changes and losing weight.

    There's a girl I know who works with my friends boyfriend, and she is ridiculously good looking and has a body to die for. She's a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor and one of the nicest girls I've ever met. While talking to her one day, I mentioned I had lost 25 pounds and she was THRILLED for me, and complimented me on my hardwork and incredibly encouraging. I barely know her and yet she gave me more support in one conversation than some of my family members have.


    My family was super hard on me growing up it lead to some serious problems and now they have backed off but my father still rips me down a little. They're more concerned than supportive ... It's weird... But really this is your life and your lifestyle change, support or none you're doing it for you. The only person you can rely on is YOU. My husband is great but he's a couch potato and he has gotten better, I basically told him this is important to me and I need your support so now he is a little more involved actually comes to my hula performances and my races, it's nice but guys kind of need to be sat down and told how you're feeling, they're not mind readers, they think they're being funny or helpful.
  • kstar137
    kstar137 Posts: 17
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    Hi Michelle,
    I am so impressed that you've lost 20 pounds on your own. That's a BEAUTIFUL accomplishment that is YOURS. YOU did it!!!!
    I'm sorry your husband is such a dysfunctional communicator. Maybe you need to tell him very specifically what he can actually do to help you and what is not helpful... sounds like he needs educating; you did mention he grew up with negative comments so it will take some conscious effort on his part to change that.
    I go to a Weight Watchers meeting regularly that's led by a wonderful woman who really understands self-esteem issues and how we can use food to cope with issues. She ends each meeting with "Love yourself for who you are and not what you weigh"... "Love your body..." then she reads off a card that points out the incredible gift each part of our body gives to us every day. I wish you could come to her meetings... she is so inspirational. Everyone deserves a supportive person like her.
    So, along with this website, I wonder if you can find someone in your life that IS truly supportive? Maybe there is even a free counselor through a workplace, community center, religious place, or school? It's just nice to see a human being in the flesh who is aware of the struggles we go through, believes in our strengths, and knows how to be an effective encourager. You deserve this!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
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    Congratulations. That is an awesome accomplishment for your whole family.
  • ❤B☩❤
    ❤B☩❤ Posts: 634
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    bump
  • sleonardbranson
    sleonardbranson Posts: 161
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    Let your haters be your motivaters :) Use the negativity to boost your confidence that you are going to make it through this :) You are on this site and your going to push through this and get it done!!! You need to do this for you and only you.....remember at the end of the day, its you that you need to answer to, not your husband or anyone else....
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
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    Mine pretended to be supportive until I started actually losing weight and proving that this wasn't a passing phase (I've been at this for about a year and a half now). The more weight I've lost, the less supportive he's gotten, and the bigger Ahole he's become.

    I too, am a stress eater, and the bigger Ahole he is, the harder it is for me to stay with it. :-/ My husband isn't very fit... and I think he's 1) jealous, and 2) insecure. However, he's too lazy to actually make his own changes and take his own steps. *rollseyes*
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
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    I feel extremely fortunate that I am surrounded by people who support a healthy lifestyle. A week after I joined MFP, my boyfriend joined. We shop for healthy food, discuss nutrition together, encourage each other to get on the treadmill and generally support each other. Now my daughter has joined and three other friends.

    For those who don't have that support, look everywhere you can for people who are good for you. Avoid people who try to sabotage your goals.
  • falcon367
    falcon367 Posts: 116
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    Yep ... feel your pain ... but for me since I'm alone, with the exception of my cats ... and yes, they are pissed at the lack of attention when I work out .. its more my family than anyone. They think I'm obsessed with losing weight. Little do they understand, its not about a weight # to me ... its about looking and feeling my best EVER in life ... a new lifestyle ... one they cannot wrap their heads around, nor would I expect them to understand for that matter. It is what it is ...

    That's why MFP is awesome ... like-minded peeps with the same goals ... bring it people! ... and thanks to all that support me!
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    I am 100% supported by my spouse, and if I was not, I might need to re-evaluate the marriage.
    As for friends, forget it.
    I severed connections with all my fat eating and drinking friends and made new connections.
    Consider this.
    Nature abhors a vacuum, so expect that other like-mined people will fill that void.
    Like attracts like.
    My fat friends all were threatened by my weight loss and new healthy lifestyle - very jealous! They seethed with envy.
    And every chance they got to get me to stray, they did.
    Think of this:
    When a single crab is put into a lidless bucket, they surely can and will escape. However, when more than one share a bucket, none can get out. If one crab elevates herself above all, the others will grab this crab and drag'em back down to share the mutual fate of the rest of the group.

    No more of that!
    I have new friends on the same page with a common interest in health and fitness.

    Life is GREAT fit - miserable fat, and I don't miss the old crowd one bit.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    You can't worry about that ( your husband)! You have to do this for you. You aren't doing it for his approval....it has to be because you want to do it!! It is hard not getting support at times...the same has happened to me, but it makes me want to try eben more, maybe to prove everyone wrong!! Don't stop or feel badly!! YOU ARE DOING GREAT and you have people here who support you 100%!!!!!!!

    Thank you i should not but i thought he was suppose to be my biggest supporter, it hurt when he think making jokes will help me when it don't. All my childhood to adult life growing up in a family with skinny people. All i hear at every family gathering " Did u get weight? " :( I told them off and said why do my weight become the topic of the party
    Booooo...he IS supposed to be your biggest supporter. I'm sorry his own issues are getting in the way of that. If you can't get him to understand how unsupportive he's being...well, we're here for you. Keep on truckin'!
  • Soltari675
    Soltari675 Posts: 21 Member
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    Sadly I have the opposite problem. My husband likes large women. So he tries to sabotage me a lot by buying ice cream, etc. It's a real pain. No matter how I try to explain it he still feels that it is just a personal choice with no real health effects. So he makes it incredibly hard to stay on track. I have to get very angry with him before he will stop.
  • DesireeLovesOrganic
    DesireeLovesOrganic Posts: 456 Member
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    Mine complain sometimes about "everything having to be healthy!" or when I am a total picky *kitten* about restaurants/not eating out or less drinking, etc but whatever (friends usually bug about that.) I don't think you can rely on anyone but yourself, if YOU want something, you have to do it for YOU.

    My husband is pretty good, he will eat whatever I cook (he's down 20 pounds since I started too just from me changing the meals and food I buy) and recently he's started walking/jogging with me around the neighborhood each evening (even though I know he doesn't want to.) I signed us up for a 5K in november, he said ok even though I know he wouldn't on his own but I figure that as "support." My kids are the whiners because they see the crap all the other kids eat at school or the neighbor kids, etc (I wouldn't let them have it anyways.)

    I am actually more motivated when people don't support me cause I am a stubborn *kitten*. :P
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
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    I feel ya. My mom supports me but gets annoyed when I track all the time. Grandma is always trying to temp me with tasty treats and says, "oh one won't kill ya!" That mentality got me here in the first place. My boyfriend supports me but doesn't have the willpower to eat healthy all the time himself. I think it'll take me moving in with him to get him to eat better. I'll just have to show him how. :P

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