Who is supported 100% or not at all, I am not :(

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Replies

  • Michellemtjpjt
    Michellemtjpjt Posts: 105
    hey girl i was in the same boat with u for 25 yrs. but that ended and now he is fatter than i am. but don't worry about him, u are the pretty one, just hang in there and when everyone is looking at u and smiling he will look like a fool. eventially they all do. just remember don't get even get ahead!

    i support u 100%
    Trashy

    Thank you so much I appreciate it :)
  • Michellemtjpjt
    Michellemtjpjt Posts: 105
    I have my full support. 100%. Nobody else's matters.

    Thank you so much I appreciate this :)
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
    I used to be supported 100% - now I am supported 50% of the time and the other 50% of the time i am made to feel like my healthy lifestyle and exercise is a major inconvenience and a HUGE pain in the *kitten*. I also get - "Ok, you've lost enough, you can stop now"
  • Jentaylor0295
    Jentaylor0295 Posts: 93 Member
    I'm not in the same situation but I can relate. My previous husband used to tell me how fat I had become (I was really underweight when we first got together). At any rate, you are doing this for you and although the comments may hurt (have you talked to him and told him how you feel?) You have to focus on the fact that you are doing this for you.

    My current hubby is very supportive BUT I have lost and regained and he has become complacent. Any time I bring up what I am trying to accomplish he just says "I hear it all the time but you never seem to do what you need to do." It's hard when you feel you are not 100% supported. This is why I turn to my friends here on MFP. Feel free to add me if you'd like another friend who will cheer you on :)
  • Michellemtjpjt
    Michellemtjpjt Posts: 105
    I'm not in the same situation but I can relate. My previous husband used to tell me how fat I had become (I was really underweight when we first got together). At any rate, you are doing this for you and although the comments may hurt (have you talked to him and told him how you feel?) You have to focus on the fact that you are doing this for you.

    My current hubby is very supportive BUT I have lost and regained and he has become complacent. Any time I bring up what I am trying to accomplish he just says "I hear it all the time but you never seem to do what you need to do." It's hard when you feel you are not 100% supported. This is why I turn to my friends here on MFP. Feel free to add me if you'd like another friend who will cheer you on :)

    Thank you I am getting so much support from everyone on here now love it
  • Michellemtjpjt
    Michellemtjpjt Posts: 105
    I used to be supported 100% - now I am supported 50% of the time and the other 50% of the time i am made to feel like my healthy lifestyle and exercise is a major inconvenience and a HUGE pain in the *kitten*. I also get - "Ok, you've lost enough, you can stop now"

    Well u have us on here to show love and support to :)
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    When my husband cooks and dishes the food up he has started measuring my food for me because I measure everything!!!! He stays away from my weight and doesn't ask me about it. But I don't feel my family supports me and I don't have friends in real life :frown:
  • 170isthin
    170isthin Posts: 45 Member
    Since you are a beautiful woman, your husband is probably just jealous and thinks he might lose you if you take off your weight.
  • Vnhealth
    Vnhealth Posts: 12 Member
    I am very much in your boat. My husband does that all the time, he makes fun of me, call names, praise other fit and trim women/girls if we go out for shopping or something. So I very well can understand your pain. It hurts and hurts very much I know because the person who suppose to be the best supporter of you is just doing totally opposite. He himself is not fit at all but even then feel proud to make fun of me. Now when I am seeing results and getting compliments all the time from friends that I am losing weight and looking good even then he never commented that he is noticing. I sometimes feel that he is jealous of me because I am losing weight and I CAN eat clean but he cannot because he has zero will power and a foody.

    My family supports me infact they are learning to eat clean from me. But they are not with me and they stay very far from my place(in another country). So I dont have much of that support also. I am new to MFP so dont have any friends too. But I know I can do it. I CAN DO IT FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY KID. Without support. So my friend you can add me if you want and please dont think that you dont have support. You can do it you just need to realise the power of being woman.
  • Vnhealth
    Vnhealth Posts: 12 Member
    I have my full support. 100%. Nobody else's matters.

    Thats the spirit girl. I totally agree.
  • Vnhealth
    Vnhealth Posts: 12 Member
    It must be so hard if you don't have your loved ones' support. My husband is 100% behind me and even supports me when well-meaning friends tell me that I must not lose any more weight. He knows my goals and supports me all the way, from eating well with me right through to exercising. Heck, he even did adult swim lessons so he could join me in the pool.

    You are very lucky Sagetracey. You are blessed with a husband who really cares about you and love you.
  • CeCe_oceansoul_420
    CeCe_oceansoul_420 Posts: 59 Member
    Yes, yes, yes. I'm getting like no support from my husband. You know what though? This is my journey, and I'll make it without him if I have to. Maybe when I weigh less than him for the first time in our 10 year relationship, he'll be inspired to get off his butt and start encouraging me.

    I feel for you though, I really do. Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd be happy to support you and help motivate you! :)

    Edit: And in fact, anyone here can add me. I'm always looking for new people to encourage and be encouraged by!
  • gemmalouise85
    gemmalouise85 Posts: 157 Member
    I been on a diet before and failed so my partner and family have got the your no going to do it attitude but it's mainly my fault I know, so i'm just proving them wrong,

    Also my partner works full time and me just part time so I mainly do cooking and because my partner is kind of guy that can eat anything and not gain he wont eat any low calorie meals as he's slim enough so I find myself cooking myself seperate which can be hard and closer to me giving up. but i'm plodding along lol
  • KettleBellHoe
    KettleBellHoe Posts: 161
    I'm supported 100% and heavily motivated. If you want support add me im on here everyday and I'll motivate you to do great :)
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    I don't get the support here at all. Never have. I told my husband today I found a gym that only costs $12 a week. He then kinda got that look on his face that he was annoyed & said "that's good....I'm not going. I don't like gyms"... to which I got fed up & replied..."well I was not looking at it for YOU"

    Not a great thing to say to me...but hell he says it EVERY SINGLE TIME I want to do something.... anything.... be it workout at home, or even going for a run. I'd had enough. Even while I was doing my workout just before I was only half way through & could clearly be seen puffing & panting (I work out hard) and there he is trying to get me to do something for him on the laptop... the same laptop that was currently playing my zumba dvd. I then paused that, paused my HRM & said I'm almost done. He walked out in a huff. I kept the dvd going till I was done. He always interrupts me half way through & goes "are you almost finished?"

    Even eating, it's a task. He love his fish n chips. I used to but not now. So when HE decides that's what we are having for lunch...I have to work out what else is nearby. In this case (the best fish n chip shop we know) there is not a whole heap I can eat near there.... major strip...just a whole heap of junky foods.... so I have to walk 10 mins to get some sushi.... sushi that I would not even feed to dog it's that bad..... but cause there is nothing else.....I get no choice at all.


    So no I don't get any support..... in anything.
  • britfout
    britfout Posts: 86 Member
    Men are extremely visual people, i'm sure one day if he suddenly notices a big difference he will start being more supportive.... hopefully for you. Otherwise, try not to worry about him because you are doing this for YOU and YOUR happiness! That's what's most important, it needs to be all about you sometimes. Good luck, you have plenty of support here :)

    ETA- you've already lost 20 pounds! that's a huge diff, I didn't see that. Great JOB! Keep it up for you! I can't believe he has not commented positively on your great success.
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
    I have to say, my hubby is amazing.

    Her wont look at me/watch me when i work out.. which it awesome to me.. i dont want him to see my fat flappin.. even though i know he knows.. and dont care.. still. lol he also eats whatevr i fix.. rules stand.. if you are hungry after i cook.. make it.. ad clean up after yourself. he does. Good boy. lol

    My daughter (the baby.. shes 13) gives me crap about running on the elliptical. she keeps my inhaler in hand and trys to force it one me.. bless her heart.. shes petrified im going to die. LOL! Sometimes i sound like it!!

    My oldest,,, shes 15 and autistic.. shes called the ambulance on me twice in the last week. LOL! I was wheezing really badly & had a hard time getting it under control.... but in NO way needing help! well, daddy was working, ad she didnt know what to do, so she called. lol.. Thankfully, they are aware, called my phone and when i answered, they knew it was okay.

    The sweethearts came out the second time to thak her for calling to take care of mommy <3 i love a small town!!

    Anyway.. i am LUCKY, and im supported. I dont know if i could do it if i werent.
  • TriedEverything
    TriedEverything Posts: 188 Member
    Sorry to hear that you're not getting the support you need :frown:

    I can relate to how you feel. My husband is a bit of a pain in some ways, as he nags me about being overweight (which he dislikes - very much!) but he is not prepared to eat the same food as me. Infact, he regularly sits there with take-aways and wine or beer, whilst I'm trying to stick to my diet! But I think I am almost immune to it now, and just plod on, regardless (he is probably a bit overweight himself, but not as much as me, so I feel I can't say too much! :ohwell: Well, not yet anyway) Mind you, he is hopefully going to start doing some cycling with me (although I've only just bought the bike! He will use our son's bike, but neither of us are regular cyclists - so it could be interesting! :huh: But this is the first time he's ever offered to do any kind of exercise with me either. )

    Friends and colleagues are not that helpful either, and are always trying to tempt me with foods I shouldn't have!

    This weight-loss thing takes an amazing amount of strength and willpower! Hope you manage to succeed despite everything that is stacked against you :flowerforyou:
  • indrani1947
    indrani1947 Posts: 178 Member
    Can relate there, my darling hubby is overweight, but now that I am almost at maintenance is very proud of me. I'm obsessive/compulsive because I spend so much time on MFP and same now I have a HRM (it really doesn't help) I have to be strong for me which is why I like MFP and my so supportive friends
  • Caligirl_92
    Caligirl_92 Posts: 53 Member
    That's why you have MFP friends. I completely understand. My boyfriends family and my friends, when i told them I was going to do insanity and eat healthy, they all took bets. The bets ranged from won't make it past week 1 to never gonna finish. Tommorow will be my last day of round 1 of insanity :happy: Then when it came to my family every time I would opt out of dinner with them (fried foods) to have healthy stuff they would all get irritated and say i wasn't eating enough. They wont support you in my opinon because it would cause them to have to look at themselves and change it is hard for a lot of people. I signed up for my fitness pal just for the support :laugh: you always have friends with the same goal in mine here.
  • Kathy53925
    Kathy53925 Posts: 241 Member
    I honestly think he feels threatened. He thinks you are gonna lose weight and leave him. Maybe it's something you need to discuss. Alot of men feel threatened by their woman losing weight and getting sexy.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
    I have support from my best friend, who is always taking working out and being healthy as serious as I am, and I have support from my family but it's kind of limited. My family has a long and very dysfunctional view on dieting, so I learned from a very early age that being thin trumped EVERYTHING in life. Slowly, over the years changes have been made and my family has been getting a healthier perspective. My support from family is limited because I always talked about getting healthy and losing weight, but never did, but as I've proven myself to be sticking to it, they've been awesome. My dad has become aware of my allergies and brings me home gluten free and organic foods all the time and my mom is encouraging my weight loss with positive criticism rather than negative. We're definitely all becoming healthy together and it's been great.
  • apedinger
    apedinger Posts: 57
    Anyone who has posted that they get negative remarks about their journey I am so sorry....I am blessed to have amazing family and friends who cheer me on every step of the way....We will be your support here on the forum!
  • beckystahnke
    beckystahnke Posts: 41 Member
    I swear if ANNNNYYY man made a fat joke about me, he would no longer be my husband. I'm not saying that's realistic for you, but I'd kick someone's *kitten* if they said that to me :) that is not what supportive people say or do.
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 390 Member
    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.

    Family members can be the WORST. I have read so many negative things about other peoples significant others, I'm actually glad I'm single while making all these changes and losing weight.

    There's a girl I know who works with my friends boyfriend, and she is ridiculously good looking and has a body to die for. She's a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor and one of the nicest girls I've ever met. While talking to her one day, I mentioned I had lost 25 pounds and she was THRILLED for me, and complimented me on my hardwork and incredibly encouraging. I barely know her and yet she gave me more support in one conversation than some of my family members have.
  • janessafantasma
    janessafantasma Posts: 312 Member
    I swear if ANNNNYYY man made a fat joke about me, he would no longer be my husband. I'm not saying that's realistic for you, but I'd kick someone's *kitten* if they said that to me :) that is not what supportive people say or do.

    I agree. There's not a chance in hell i would ever let something like that slide.
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 390 Member
    You are not alone... I feel you. While my husband doesn't make fat jokes about me, he makes running jokes... I've lost a lot of weight and feel great but when I told him I was training for a half marathon he shook his head and clicked his tongue and told me it was a mistake. Then when I injured my knee he did the "I told you so." It's very frustrating to be trying to hard and only get the occasional nod or a compliment where you instigated it like me saying "I look good." and him saying "yeah."

    But I've been at this now since mid-January. I'm totally doing it for me. My family has made fun of me all my life but in the end I want this for me. MFP has helped A LOT. You are not alone, we will support you.

    Family members can be the WORST. I have read so many negative things about other peoples significant others, I'm actually glad I'm single while making all these changes and losing weight.

    There's a girl I know who works with my friends boyfriend, and she is ridiculously good looking and has a body to die for. She's a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor and one of the nicest girls I've ever met. While talking to her one day, I mentioned I had lost 25 pounds and she was THRILLED for me, and complimented me on my hardwork and incredibly encouraging. I barely know her and yet she gave me more support in one conversation than some of my family members have.


    My family was super hard on me growing up it lead to some serious problems and now they have backed off but my father still rips me down a little. They're more concerned than supportive ... It's weird... But really this is your life and your lifestyle change, support or none you're doing it for you. The only person you can rely on is YOU. My husband is great but he's a couch potato and he has gotten better, I basically told him this is important to me and I need your support so now he is a little more involved actually comes to my hula performances and my races, it's nice but guys kind of need to be sat down and told how you're feeling, they're not mind readers, they think they're being funny or helpful.
  • kstar137
    kstar137 Posts: 17
    Hi Michelle,
    I am so impressed that you've lost 20 pounds on your own. That's a BEAUTIFUL accomplishment that is YOURS. YOU did it!!!!
    I'm sorry your husband is such a dysfunctional communicator. Maybe you need to tell him very specifically what he can actually do to help you and what is not helpful... sounds like he needs educating; you did mention he grew up with negative comments so it will take some conscious effort on his part to change that.
    I go to a Weight Watchers meeting regularly that's led by a wonderful woman who really understands self-esteem issues and how we can use food to cope with issues. She ends each meeting with "Love yourself for who you are and not what you weigh"... "Love your body..." then she reads off a card that points out the incredible gift each part of our body gives to us every day. I wish you could come to her meetings... she is so inspirational. Everyone deserves a supportive person like her.
    So, along with this website, I wonder if you can find someone in your life that IS truly supportive? Maybe there is even a free counselor through a workplace, community center, religious place, or school? It's just nice to see a human being in the flesh who is aware of the struggles we go through, believes in our strengths, and knows how to be an effective encourager. You deserve this!
  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Congratulations. That is an awesome accomplishment for your whole family.

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