If I wanted to gain weight...

2

Replies

  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Eat back all your exercise calories. All of them.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    If all else fails, fake your weight \m/ tell people you're a size 40 when you're really a 34 \m/

    also...

    weight gainer 4000 should do the trick.....BEEFCAKE!! \m/
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Don't lift too heavy cause you'll break your uterus... wait wrong thread.

    Uh, it doesn't break - it falls out. Men!
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,069 Member
    don't forget the 0 calorie sweetners - you'll put on a loads with these....oh, and they're also pure evil!
  • volume77
    volume77 Posts: 670 Member
    I sense some sarcasm in the thread
  • rose313
    rose313 Posts: 1,146 Member
    Do lots of cardio, cardio makes you fat, but running will break your knees and ankles off.
  • kittyhasclaws
    kittyhasclaws Posts: 446 Member
    Butter and bacon, butter and bacon....

    Do we eat them separately, or should I be buttering my bacon? Should I cook the bacon in butter? And should I be drinking the drippings?
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    I would only eat once a day, the rest of the time your body will think you are starving. When you eat your one meal your body will store every calorie that you consume as fat.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    Well don't eat 6000 calories in mayo..... it will keep you thin
  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
    Just take all the motivation sayings off the refrigerator...that'll work for quick weight gain!
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    All I would have to do is skip breakfast, eat carbs every day, and eat right before bed?

    Yeah. And don't drink any plain water, make sure it all has caffeine.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    HCG and sensa, all day....every day \m/
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Never weigh naked.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    I sense some sarcasm in the thread

    Then someone's not using the <sarcasm></sarcasm> tags!
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Never weigh naked.

    I weigh at work. My boss gets upset if I do it naked.
  • thebaconbeast
    thebaconbeast Posts: 560 Member
    Woops my bad the answer is obvious: NEGATIVE POOP.
  • aliciapenny
    aliciapenny Posts: 51 Member
    it's nice to see that not everyone buys in the the BS and you even have a sense of humor. love this thread.
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    can i get fat from breaking forum fasts????

    Absolutely you will! What you need is my patented new eCleanse. $59.95 a day, it's a powder you brush on your computer's cooling fan and it removes all traces of forum fat.
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    Never eat celery or ANY negative calorie foods and/or food combinations that might work!
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 412 Member
    Someone here needs to help me out, I've got all the references so far except the negative calorie ones, is there a nice detailed scientific description of this miracle anti-energy? :)
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    Don't forget to include your $140 a month shakes!
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
    YOu know it burns more calories to chew celery, than celery has. Also there are many foods that can be combined to create fat burning qualities!

    Oh yeah, if you drink ice water, it burns more calories than regular water. So if you want to gain - don't do these things!
  • kittyhasclaws
    kittyhasclaws Posts: 446 Member
    Eat crabs!

    I mean carbs!

    Or did I mean crabs?

    Dammit... Now I'm confused... I'm gonna go slug back a bottle of olive oil and think on it for a while.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Don't eat back your exercise calories! Or do eat them! Or maybe only half of them. I don't knooooow.
  • brendaschmitt1
    brendaschmitt1 Posts: 218
    get pregnant....

    So I'm guess I should not get pregnant during my weight loss journey. :(
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 412 Member
    get pregnant....

    So I'm guess I should not get pregnant during my weight loss journey. :(

    You could, but the daily weigh in payoff only happens in 9 months where I guarantee you'll drop more than 2lbs in one week
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    get pregnant....

    So I'm guess I should not get pregnant during my weight loss journey. :(

    I got pregnant after losing 42 lbs. Gained 11+ lbs (almost all water weight) in less than 2 months since. I've stopped caring about the weight gain now, but yeah, pregnancy can make you gain a lot quickly.
  • HorseWithNoName27
    HorseWithNoName27 Posts: 188 Member
    You'd better not eat a piece of bread! You'll gain back all of your weight! Same with bananas! But better eat 6000 calories of mayo...oh weight, you won't gain any weight because mayo has no carbs. BTW, forget about calories, they don't matter. Buy this shake instead. No, it's this belt. No, it's Sensa! Buy it! Why aren't you buying it?! RAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGE!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    my brobot shorted out
  • rowdylibrarian
    rowdylibrarian Posts: 251 Member
    Eat pizza! Pizza is evil and sneaky, and even if you just have it in your house for your kids, the leftovers will sneak out of your fridge at night, find you asleep in bed, and oooooooze into your body through your pores. This will make you gain an immediate 10 pounds.

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