Guy in Ladies locker Room

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  • portalm
    portalm Posts: 201 Member
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    I can't see how he'd be considered "a creeper" when he clearly came in to talk to someone... it's not like he came in and just stood aside watching females dress.

    I also can't understand why this is a big deal. You *do* realize that the heteronormative view of all males as interested in females and all females interested in males is not reality, right? He may have absolutely zero interest in seeing you naked... whereas the girl he talked to might've been "creeping" on you the whole time. Face the fact that any time you've ever changed when not completely alone someone was probably attracted to females there. If you didn't always dress in a stall, there is no reason to start just because some (possibly not straight) guy popped into the area once.

    *eyeroll*

    Umm, he is a creeper because it was a female locker room. If it were ok then why don't we make one big locker room for everyone? Better yet, why dont we all just walk around naked in public? I still say its not ok for a male to walk into the women's locker room. He should have went to get a female staff member if he wanted to talk to his daughter or waited.

    Granted he should have waited. However instead of complaining about it to the staff or crying about it on the forums, if it bothered you that much why didnt you just say something to HIM?
  • TanzaMarie
    TanzaMarie Posts: 94 Member
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    How old was his daughter? When I was younger (elementary school) and just the two of us were out, he'd send in a woman after me if he need to talk to me or verify I was okay. Not that going into the locker room was the best means for getting what he wanted, it could have been more stupid father than sinister.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
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    What a douche!! How would he have liked it if some guy had come in there while HIS daughter was changing?? and did he not think that maybe his daughter was changing and would not want him to see her like that? I think the dude was a creeper and an A-hole. At any rate I always dress in the stalls, simply because I can't stand to dry off and dress around other people. Side effect of growing up with too many sisters I suppose (I have 8).
  • jly33403
    jly33403 Posts: 49
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    I think the issue is more along the lines that the poster is not comfortable with this man seeing her naked. She prepared herself for a bunch of women to see her naked. It doesn't matter that he might be interested in her sexually, it is a person that she is uncomfortable with seeing her naked. We all have our own comfort boundaries, and that needs to be respected. The fact that he acknowledged he shouldn't be there makes it obvious that there is a boundary being crossed.

    Since this is a gender specific area I would be unhappy, too. You can't just expect people to be okay with something because you are.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
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    Kinda got over this due to coed floors in college and having the bathrooms/showers centrally located and next to eachother, so there was always that person walking in not paying attention.. but its 100% inappropriate for him to walk in and talk to his daughter, who I imagine is old enough to be in there by herself, while there is another person in the locker room. A mistake is 1 thing, to blatantly go in there knowing its the female locker room is another.
  • Long_and_Lean
    Long_and_Lean Posts: 175 Member
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    I can't see how he'd be considered "a creeper" when he clearly came in to talk to someone... it's not like he came in and just stood aside watching females dress.

    I also can't understand why this is a big deal. You *do* realize that the heteronormative view of all males as interested in females and all females interested in males is not reality, right? He may have absolutely zero interest in seeing you naked... whereas the girl he talked to might've been "creeping" on you the whole time. Face the fact that any time you've ever changed when not completely alone someone was probably attracted to females there. If you didn't always dress in a stall, there is no reason to start just because some (possibly not straight) guy popped into the area once.

    *eyeroll*

    You're neglecting one critical aspect of this. There are certain places where you expect some privacy. Locker rooms, public restrooms, etc. This has nothing to do with sexual interest and everything to do with an invasion of privacy. Just because she was uncomfortable with him being there does not mean that she assumed he was interested in her.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    that IS a creeper!

    If he needed to talk to his daughter so badly at that very moment, he could have asked a female staff member. End of discussion.
  • Long_and_Lean
    Long_and_Lean Posts: 175 Member
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    I think the issue is more along the lines that the poster is not comfortable with this man seeing her naked. She prepared herself for a bunch of women to see her naked. It doesn't matter that he might be interested in her sexually, it is a person that she is uncomfortable with seeing her naked. We all have our own comfort boundaries, and that needs to be respected. The fact that he acknowledged he shouldn't be there makes it obvious that there is a boundary being crossed.

    Since this is a gender specific area I would be unhappy, too. You can't just expect people to be okay with something because you are.

    THIS
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I'd have been surprised to see him walk in, but I don't think I'd have gotten as upset. Yea, it was uncalled for, but he didn't come in and start walking around looking at all the ladies. His intent was not to invade privacy. I'd have just brushed it off.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
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    Everyone is suggesting 2 options:

    1) Honest Mistake

    2) Creepy guy

    I don't think that he expected his daughter to be in the men's locker room so he knew he was entering the ladies locker room. He was looking for his daughter. He didn't even ask before entering, "it is okay if I come in? Are you dressed?" He was expecting 3 things when he entered the locker room unannounced:

    1)see his daughter naked or
    2)see other women naked or
    3)see everyone fully dressed

    Thank god it was #3.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I can't see how he'd be considered "a creeper" when he clearly came in to talk to someone... it's not like he came in and just stood aside watching females dress.

    I also can't understand why this is a big deal. You *do* realize that the heteronormative view of all males as interested in females and all females interested in males is not reality, right? He may have absolutely zero interest in seeing you naked... whereas the girl he talked to might've been "creeping" on you the whole time. Face the fact that any time you've ever changed when not completely alone someone was probably attracted to females there. If you didn't always dress in a stall, there is no reason to start just because some (possibly not straight) guy popped into the area once.

    *eyeroll*

    Umm, he is a creeper because it was a female locker room. If it were ok then why don't we make one big locker room for everyone? Better yet, why dont we all just walk around naked in public? I still say its not ok for a male to walk into the women's locker room. He should have went to get a female staff member if he wanted to talk to his daughter or waited.

    Granted he should have waited. However instead of complaining about it to the staff or crying about it on the forums, if it bothered you that much why didnt you just say something to HIM?

    If the staff doesn't know, then how can they prevent it from happening again?

    Also, not everyone is comfortable with confrontation... and since nothing specific happened, it makes more sense to let the gym staff know so they can keep an eye on this member for next time.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    I can't see how he'd be considered "a creeper" when he clearly came in to talk to someone... it's not like he came in and just stood aside watching females dress.

    He came into the ladies locker room.. What the hell was so important that he couldn't wait until his daughter came out?

    If I was OP, I'd be offended to.. and creeped out.

    But according to you, it's ok for me to just walk into the male locker room if I need to talk to someone.. so I'll do that next time at my gym and let you know how well that works out :noway:

    Agreed. CREEPER or blind.
  • Debutante55
    Debutante55 Posts: 72 Member
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    alright I'll be the one to say it: Whatever that guy was doing, if you're creeping on me, you deserve a sight of my cellulitey tush. Hope it burns your retinas. So there. :laugh:


    That is hilarious... and pretty much sums up how I feel. Yes, it IS wrong and *definitely* creepy to have some random guy suddenly show up in the women's dressing room but honestly, if someone gets a glimpse of me, well that is most unfortunate for them.... hopefully there would be one of those industrial 'eye-wash' stations close at hand. :noway:

    Having said that however, if he were ogling my daughter I'd likely drop him right then and there. BAM.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    Another point.

    People who go to the same gym ever just for a few weeks KNOW where the locker room is. Specificly their gender speficic one. I am sorry but people saying honest mistake, bla bla, give me a break.
  • ki4yxo
    ki4yxo Posts: 709 Member
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    Reminds me of a concert we went to when we
    were still dating. The line for the women's bathroom
    went out, around the corner. The men's room was
    really short. I can't count how many women jumped
    in the men's room line. Hell my wife used it! I wasn't
    about to miss a half hour of the concert so she could
    go "pee."
  • BlisterLamb
    BlisterLamb Posts: 396 Member
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    I once walked into the bathroom at a library. I entered and turned directly to the right into a stall. When I came out, I was horrified to see a row of urinals directly in front of me, across from the stalls. How in the world I had missed them on the way in, I have no idea. I'm just thankful there was no one using one of them.

    Several years later, I went into one of those brick restrooms at a park. I was alone on my bike because my husband felt ill and bailed on me halfway through the ride. It wasn't in the greatest area. It was frequented by homeless guys, but I HAD to go. I took my bike in with me, so it wouldn't get stolen. It was just one large room with a small metal sink, next to a large metal mop sink, and a three foot wide, floor to ceiling brick wall dividing the toilet from the rest of the room. I was in there doing my thing and I hear the door open and I hear someone in there moving around. I said, "i'm in here." I could still here movement and I could tell it was a man. I was a bit freaked, and still kind of "mid business" so I pulled out my cell phone and called my husband and started talking loudly to him. I said I was just letting him know where I was and that I was in the bathroom and it sounded like there was someone in there. He asked if I needed him to come there...like he could get there before I actually needed him. I responded loudly that I was fine and that I had my gun. I didn't really, not that time, but sometimes I do. I heard movement and the door opening and closing as they guy left. I told my husband that he was gone, finished up, and exited the building. There was a very uncomfortable looking homeless guy out there, holding himself and shuffling back and forth. I said he had startled me and asked why he was hanging around outside the ladies room. He said, "Ma'am, that's the MEN's room!" I looked at the sign and sure enough it was. I apologized profusely and said I needed a keeper. He was not in the mood for apologies, he was in a big hurry to get inside. I felt horrible. He probably thought some crazy woman who couldn't read was going to blow his man bits off! I also giggled for the next 3 miles. Turns out the "mop sink" was a urinal. At a quick glance, that's what it looked like to me. It was a different kind than I had seen before...on my previous trips to the mens rooms.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
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    I think the issue is more along the lines that the poster is not comfortable with this man seeing her naked. She prepared herself for a bunch of women to see her naked. It doesn't matter that he might be interested in her sexually, it is a person that she is uncomfortable with seeing her naked. We all have our own comfort boundaries, and that needs to be respected. The fact that he acknowledged he shouldn't be there makes it obvious that there is a boundary being crossed.

    Since this is a gender specific area I would be unhappy, too. You can't just expect people to be okay with something because you are.
    Fair enough. Some people put up half naked pictures of themselves on fitness websites for hundreds of people to see, and some are so mortified at the thought of someone else possibly seeing some skin they won't even leave the house. I get that, everyone's different and some people are A LOT more sensitive than me. I'm not trying to defend the guy, maybe he is a pervert, I don't know how it went down. But also some men will do ANYTHING for their daughters. Gotta respect that.
  • maher2000
    maher2000 Posts: 1
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    Mmmhhhh.... this would have been creepy... It is clear from what you say about his statement that he was intentionally there. Maybe the person he was speaking to called him in (texted him and let him know you were dressed)? Either way, there really is no excuse.
    I have a young daughter who goes to the gym as does my wife and reading about events like this one does not make me comfortable.
    What did the gym staff do or say to him or to you? Were they in any way concerned about your privacy or escort the person out?
    I am glad that at least you were not in your birthday suit at the time!!!
    I hope no one else was.
  • mama2shi
    mama2shi Posts: 300 Member
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    said like he already knew where he was, “ok, lets go back up stairs I am not supposed to be in here,” and then walked back up stairs.

    Uh, this sounds like it was not an honest mistake...otherwise why state he knew he wasn't supposed to be in there??? Also does not sound like something that could not wait it he was ready to go back upstairs and not rush out for any type of emergency with her. It is not his daughter's locker room, it is all of the women's. He doesn't get a special pass.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    And did you read the same post - he didnt confront anyone but his daughter. It was an error on his part but really - it was I am sure if management talked to him about it wont happen again. I seriously think it was a mistake not what you are making it into. Mistakes do happen - its called LIFE. And BTW I have been a victim of rape - and if they have such a big issue with it SEEK THERAPY!!!!
    i didn't say he confronted them, i said they were confronted by him. given the context it would seem obvious that my meaning was that they were confronted by his presence.

    it's not a mistake to walk in, see that it's the ladies' locker room, then walk further in in order to have a conversation.

    so... therapy always works and always works fast? and no victim should have a life or worry about her health until she is fully recovered to the point of not caring if a stranger sees her changing? even if that's never...

    and what of those for whom it is a matter of faith, an order from god, that they cover their bodies in front of men?

    i don't think i'll ever agree with that view point.

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